"The clouds," she panted as they raced across the steaming asphalt. "It was cloudy when I saw Tristan the first time."
"They'll part soon," he said but his head moved constantly about as he searched the darkened day. They made it to the overhang in the doorway of the mall and took shelter from the rain with a group of at least ten other people. Ethan turned her into a corner and pressed himself against her. Her body instantly began to heat as she rested her hands against his chest.
His head dropped down a little and she found herself staring into the reflective black lenses of his glasses. Her breath froze in her lungs as she stared up at him; her nipples began to tingle as his chest brushed against hers. Her mouth went dry as her fingers involuntarily curled into his shirt. It was impossible to control her body, impossible not to react to him when they were in such close proximity to each other. Her gaze drifted to his full mouth and the rain drops lingering there like drops of dew.
Laughter and excited chatter filled the little alcove as more people crowded in around them, she didn't notice any of them though as she remained riveted on him. She longed so badly to taste his lips, to kiss the water from them. It was taking everything she had to keep herself restrained. Death Emma, he'd told her. That's what her life with him would entail, her death, but there would also be so much love and joy for more years than she'd ever imagined having. Her mind spun at that realization, her fingers pressed more firmly against him as she savored in the heat coming off of his body.
A muscle in his jaw began to twitch as a vein in his forehead stood out and sweat beaded across his upper lip. "Ethan..."
"Too much," he grated out as he moved closer to her in an attempt to avoid the people pressing against them. Even with her there he was having a difficult time of shutting them out, not when all he could think of was placing his lips against her throat, and tasting the blood that was flowing through her veins. "It's all too much."
People jostled and pushed against them as even more tried to take shelter under the overhang. Her back was brought up firmly against the brick wall. She glanced rapidly around as she sensed a pending meltdown within the man standing against her. Grabbing hold of his hand, she began to edge along the wall to the doorway of the mall. A growl escaped him as someone bumped into his back and shoved him forward. Emma's eyes widened as she glimpsed the tip of a lethal fang when his upper lip curled into a sneer.
Concern for him blazed to the forefront, if she didn't get him out of here soon, something horrible was going to happen. He would hate himself if he lost control and killed someone, and there would be no way for her to cover it up and keep him safe if something bad happened. She knew that it was because of her that he was so unstable and she had to do something to help him, now.
Forgetting about trying to be polite about their escape from the alcove, she threw an elbow into the back of a girl too busy moaning about her wet bathing suit to notice her. Apparently this ridiculous complaint was the worst thing in the world, if her bitching was to be believed, but right now Emma was willing to rip the thing off of her if it got the girl out of her way. She elbowed her more vehemently again before lowering her shoulder and shoving the girl aside. The girl cursed at her but Emma didn't pause to apologize as she grabbed the door and pulled it open.
Cold air blasted against her, her wet skin immediately broke out into goose bumps as she stepped into the entryway of the small mall. Normally, in her soaked condition she wouldn't have entered the building, but it was the only way that they were going to escape the crowd. A few people passing by shot them dirty looks as water dripped from them in soft plops on the stone floor. She didn't pay them any attention though as she searched for somewhere that they could hide and regroup for a few minutes. There was no way anyone was going to let them into one of the stores and it was probably best to get Ethan completely away from people.
Her feet squished on the floor as she moved further into the building. Before they made it into the main hallway, she spotted a solid wood door with a do not enter sign on it and grabbed hold of the handle. She pushed it open and stepped into the small closet crowded with mops, brooms, some feather dusters, and shelves of bottles filled with cleaning supplies. Shutting the door of the janitor's closet, she flicked on the light switch next to it and pushed in the lock on the handle.
Ethan kept his back to her, his head was down and his shoulders hunched forward. He flinched away from her when she rested her fingers on his back. "Don't," he snarled.
Feeling as if she had been slapped, Emma's hand fell back to her side. A sense of helplessness encased her as she leaned against the door to watch him. She should be scared after what she'd seen outside, she could sense the instability within him but even though he'd been on the verge of destroying those people out there, she felt no concern over her own safety when it came to him.
"This is because of me, isn't it?" she inquired.
"This is because of me, of what I am, even before you I was a monster," Ethan told her.
She was taken aback by his words. "No you weren't."
He turned on her so quickly that she didn't even see him move before his hands were beside her head on the door. Though she wasn't scared of him her breath still hitched in as he lowered his face to the same height as hers. At some point in time he had taken his glasses off to reveal the burning red eyes hidden beneath them all day. Eyes that revealed his continued spiral out of control.
"You don't know what I am Emma, what I am capable of, or the thoughts I have." He leaned closer to her, his nose and mouth practically touched her neck as he inhaled deeply. "The things I want to do to you Emma, if you knew what they were you would run screaming."
Perhaps she would, but she couldn't help but feel oddly titillated by his words and his breath as it tickled her neck and ear. She was a train wreck, she knew that, but it was because of him that she had gone off the rails. Her palms pressed against the door as he pulled away to look at her.
"I stayed away from humans because I knew their blood and life force was a temptation I might not be able to resist one day, and then I met you. You made it all better, with you the unending clamoring for blood wasn't as loud and I found that I could face the world again."
"Thoughts don't make you a monster Ethan, actions do."
"If you knew my thoughts right now Emma, you wouldn't be so certain of that."
"And what are they?" she whispered.
He leaned so close to her that their noses nearly touched. "What I wouldn't give for just a taste of you."
Her breath caught in her chest, she bit on her bottom lip as her heart raced with excitement and apprehension. She was trapped in this tiny closet sized room, with a man that was talking about drinking her blood, and instead of fleeing she found herself saying words she'd never expected to say, "Taste me then."
His eyes became a more vivid shade of red; she knew that if there had been actual flames within his eyes, she would have just been burned by them. It wasn't his eyes that would hurt her though, but the fangs that had extended over his bottom lip at her words. "If I'm what you need to help you be stable again, and to face the world, then do it."
Ethan's jaw clenched; the scent of rain on her skin, mixed in with the honeysuckle scent of her intensified as she unwaveringly held his gaze. Those scents were even more enticing than her words. His hand brushed the wet tendrils of hair away from her neck to expose the vein running through there, pulsing with life and begging for him to taste it. It was the vein that he wanted the most, the one that would ease him and satisfy him, but it would also just be the beginning of the end. If he did this, there would never be any turning back for him.
"You don't know what you're asking for," he said from between his clenched teeth. "I can't."
"It will help you..."
"It will intensify what I feel for you. If I ever taste you that will be the end of me, it could only be us afterward."
Those words echoed in her mind and though the sane part of her was saying this
was all moving too fast, that this was a commitment she wasn't ready for. A commitment such as this took years of getting to know each other, of dating, meeting the parents, and fights. Then if all of those things had been withstood, and there was still love, a ring and the promise of another fifty or so years were exchanged. There wasn't a bonding ritual that would end her life and last for an eternity.
The insane part of her was screaming, just do it.
The prospect of spending forever with him wasn't as frightening anymore though, it was intriguing and exciting; it was something that she wanted as badly as he seemed to want her blood right now. This magnificent, powerful man standing before her loved her and he was offering to share his life with her. He had absolutely no doubts about her; he was willing to do anything for her, even die. When she had asked for space, he had stepped aside and risked himself in order to make her happy. Before everything had been revealed to her, she been falling in love with him, and now, after all of this, she realized that she was in love with him.
Emma's heart raced, even with the cold air caressing her skin, her body was on fire as the heat of him burned against her. Weren't vampires supposed to be cold? Instead he had the same effect on her as the summer sun on an August day. "Then let it be us," she whispered.
"Emma," he groaned and for the first time some of his anger and stress began to ease as his head bowed. "You don't know what you're asking for."
"You said I can still see my parents."
"Yes, but it's your death."
She rested her hand against his cheek; the stubble lining his jaw was rough against her palm as she leaned forward to press a brief kiss against his lips. "And it's a whole new life. Believe me I'm not thrilled about the prospect of having my heart stop beating, but I am thrilled about you. You've given me time to figure all this out, and what I've figured out is that I want you; I want to help you and to be a part of your life. I thought you would be happy."
The look in his eyes made her realize that it was too much for him to hope for right now and he didn't know how to take her words. Taking hold of his cheeks with her hands, she stared at him for a few seconds before pulling him closer and kissing him again. At first he didn't respond to her but then his lips eased against hers and his body relaxed.
A feeling of contentment slid through her as she pressed closer against him. His hands slipped away from the door and settled on her hips. The thin, wet material of her purple cover-up pressed against her skin, but all she felt was the heat of his hands burning into her flesh. There was no fear here; there was only love and trust as his tongue slid over hers. She had just handed herself over to this man and all she felt was a soul deep certainty that it had been the truest decision of her life.
Ethan's heart raced, it was taking everything he had not to tear the clothes from her body and bury himself inside of her but he found that finally touching her helped to ease the raging monster that had been shredding his insides. She was everything to him and she was finally agreeing to be his. His hands slid over her silken thighs as he pushed up the hem of her wet cover-up, his fingers brushed against the edge of the bikini bottom hanging low on her hips. His body was vibrating with need but he was well aware of the fact that everything he desired from her, he couldn't do within this small room, he didn't even want to try. She deserved better than this and he was going to make sure that she had it.
A small mewl of protest escaped her when he pulled his mouth away from hers. He caught her hands pressing against his chest, lifted them above her head, and flattened them against the door. Her breath came in rapid pants that caused her breasts to push temptingly against him. A seductive smile curved her mouth as she pressed her hips invitingly against his.
She would be the death of him, but he would welcome that death if she was smiling at him like that. Unable to resist her, he brought his mouth back to hers and kissed her with a deliberate slowness that allowed him to savor in the honeyed taste of her. Her hands jerked in his grasp but he didn't release her and she didn't try to pull away as he left a trail of kisses across her neck and down to her collarbone. His tongue swirled over her rain-dampened skin as he tasted her. He could hear and feel the rapid beat of her heart but he stayed away from the tempting vein that beckoned to him.
"Ethan," she gasped when she felt the press of his fangs against her flesh. The sensation of his fangs scraping over her skin caused her to quiver with anticipation. That was when she knew that she'd completely lost her mind, and that she didn't care. His eyes were burning embers when they came back to hers, his fangs clearly visible as he stared at her. "I want this."
He released her hands and seized her face in between his palms; he stared at her as he waited for her to change her mind, but she had no intention of doing that. When she didn't tell him to stop he kissed her so ardently that he stole the breath from her completely. She jerked a little when one of his fangs pricked her lower lip but it wasn't an entirely unpleasant sensation and he kissed away the sting of the bite.
A rumble of satisfaction escaped him as his tongue licked up the trickle of blood that flowed into her mouth. Blood that was as deliciously sweet and magnificent as he'd known it would be. Even that small bit of blood caused strength to seep through his system as it filled him in ways that no other's blood could have. He almost bit down on her lip to get more but he knew it would hurt her and though he would cause her future pain, he was going to do everything he could to minimize it now.
Her fingers curled into his back when he broke the kiss but before she could protest his heated mouth was on her neck and his fangs were pressing against her skin. The breath she'd just managed to take rushed out of her again when his fangs sank deep into her flesh. Her body jerked against his as he took possession of her vein. The sensation of his teeth piercing her skin was like a pinprick that was gone almost as soon as she felt it, and once it was gone there was only endless waves of delight as he held her more firmly against him.
At first she thought that it was only her pleasure by sustaining him, by being in his arms again, that she was feeling. Then she realized that she was also experiencing his emotions. Her mind was becoming overwhelmed with joy and a feeling of becoming one with each other. She'd never realized she'd been searching for something in her life, but she knew now that this was what she'd always been waiting for her. She belonged here, with him, and as he fed from her she realized that he felt it as strongly as she did. Tears of happiness burned her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. The passion she'd been experiencing was dampened by the sensation of completion that was swelling within her. She couldn't stop crying as her fingers slid through his hair to hold him closer and her head fell back against the door to offer him better access to her vein.
Ethan clung to her as the monster inside of him retreated and everything within him became centered upon this woman in his arms and the gift that she was giving to him. The rest of the world faded away as her blissful emotions took possession of him. He'd grown up with his parent's close relationship, witnessed what had unraveled between Isabelle and Stefan, but nothing could have prepared him for the feelings unfurling within him now. It took everything he had to pull away from her before he took too much, not because he wanted more of her blood but because he never wanted the connection to end.
Disappointment filled her when he pulled away but then his fingers were gently wiping away her tears. His kiss was nowhere near as demanding this time as his mouth slanted over hers. She could taste her blood on his lips but it wasn't as unpleasant, or repulsive, as she'd thought it would be. Her heart swelled with love as he pulled back to look down at her.
There was such affection in his green eyes that she found herself unable to breathe as she searched a gaze that she hadn't seen in days. "It will be us," he said in a hoarse voice.
She nodded her agreement as she rested her head on his chest and held him against her. "It will be," she vowed.
CHAPTER 24
"There you are!" Isabelle cried when they emerged
from the mall. The rain had stopped and the sky had already cleared, the air seemed cleaner though it was more humid. Emma blinked against the sunlight and spotted Isabelle across the street from them with Stefan at her side. "Where have you been?" she demanded as she stalked across the street toward them.
"Getting out of the rain," Ethan replied.
Isabelle's brow furrowed as her gaze slid back and forth between them. Ethan's glasses were back in place but Emma could feel the more relaxed posture of his body as he stood beside her. "We've been looking all over for you." Though the only place Isabelle was looking right now was at her neck but Emma knew her dampened hair covered Ethan's bite mark on her.
"You've found us," Ethan said.
"Are Jill and Mandy ok?" Emma asked anxiously.
"Mandy's fine, we were separated from Jill. Aiden and Ian are looking for her now."
Emma took an abrupt step forward. "Separated, how?"
"There were a lot of people on the beach," Isabelle said. "Everyone started running at once. Aiden lost her when she hopped on one of the buses."
"I'm sure she's fine," Ethan assured her. "It was a quick storm. Come on; let's get you back to the house."
"Not until we find Jill," she insisted.
Ethan's jaw clenched, he was about to start arguing with her when he spotted Aiden jogging toward them from the beach. His brother was barely breathing hard when he reached them. "We found her; she just got off the bus again. It took her a little while to get back to here on the bus. Ian's taking her to the house now."
"Good," Emma breathed.
"Come on, let's go," Ethan said and clasped hold of her elbow.
Emma carefully studied the people walking so casually past them. She was half-afraid that one of them might turn around and stab her at any second though she doubted Tristan's plan was for her to be dead. No, she was certain he had something far more sinister in mind for her. She stayed close to Ethan's side and by the time they returned to the house, she felt jittery and uncertain. The sound of the door closing behind her and the lock clicking into place was music to her ears.
Untamed (Vampire Awakenings, Book 3) Page 24