The Wizards of Central Park West_Ultimate Urban Fantasy

by Arjay Lewis

  “I am all for marital harmony, but Eddie, this is your first day of training, and you have learned only the most basic defenses. You cannot protect yourself against even a—”

  “Damn,” Eddie complained, “my cell phone screen is backwards.” He held it out to Marlowe, who tapped it lightly with his stick. The phone glowed.

  Eddie glanced at the screen. “All fixed, thanks. Marlowe, if you want my brain to absorb this stuff, I need down time.”

  “Of course, Eddie. I forget that you do not have the stamina of one who has walked the path as long as I.”

  “So, let’s get going. I have to set you up on the sofa.”

  “I could make myself invisible, your family won’t even know I’m there.”

  “Why didn’t you suggest this earlier?”

  Marlowe shrugged, “It’s not my first choice. It clogs up my sinuses.”

  There was a resonant knock on the commodious basement door.

  “Yes?” Marlowe grumbled, annoyed at the disturbance.

  Bob, wearing his preferred face with a large nose and lips, passed effortlessly through the heavy door.

  “What is it, Bob?” Marlowe sat on the platform next to Eddie.

  “Message,” Bob quavered.

  “Bob, I told you we were not to be disturbed!”

  “Special delivery…” Bob attempted tentatively.

  “Oh, bother.” Marlowe glared at his floating house ghost. “Thank you, Bob, that will be all.”

  Greatly relieved, Bob dove for the door and passed through it to safety.

  “He has better manners than this morning,” Eddie noted.

  “You giving him an ectoplasmic hot foot improved his disposition.” Marlowe gave Eddie a smile.

  “Glad to help.” Eddie rose. “Let’s get going.”

  “I have to take this delivery.”

  “Guess, you can’t have Bob sign for UPS.” Eddie smirked.

  “Hmm, I think it would be best if you went to the far end of the room, close to the wall.”

  “What’s up?” Eddie said.

  “The delivery, of course.” He leapt onto the platform and waved his staff. A circle appeared in the center, glowed, and issued a thick, low hanging fog. It slowly rose up and began to bubble and boil.

  Marlowe stepped back as the rising section of wood began to shimmer and change, until it took on the appearance of a cauldron. The simmering liquid exuded a greenish-yellow glow that made Marlowe’s face appear jaundiced.

  “Who calls upon the Wizard Marlowe!” he yelled into the simmering ooze.

  The cauldron began to vent steam like an old locomotive, with a rasping hiss that echoed through the huge room.

  Suddenly the mist began to coalesce, and a shape uplifted from the center. A face appeared, with a twisted mouth and pointed ears. Horns sat on the skull-like head, and a naked chest came forth. The demonic apparition ascended above the cauldron, but its legs—if it had any—remained hidden.

  Despite the lavish entrance, the creature itself was not that impressive. It was only slightly larger than an average man, and it was thin, with matchstick arms and a bony face. With its yellowish skin tone, it resembled nothing more than an anorexic view of Hell, where the evil hordes were far too hungry to torture the denizens very thoroughly.

  “I have a message from the Onmyōji,” the bulimic demon uttered in a weak voice.

  “Ah good.” Marlowe breathed a sigh. “What be his word? Speak ye plain.”

  “He wert deeply saddened by the loss of our companion.” The effort to speak appeared to be almost too much trouble. “He shall come to thy city soon. Expect him and arrange lodging.”

  “Speak ye true?” Marlowe boomed.

  “Aye, master,” the demon responded, and waved his hand as if this response was too large an effort.

  “Well, indeed. Return to he that sent thee, and tell him I have heard and shall do as he bids.”

  The creature nodded its weary head, then stood unmoving, the lower part of its body still resting in the greenish ooze.

  Marlowe blinked and glanced at Eddie, who shrugged.

  “Is there anything else?” Marlowe finally asked the creature.

  “No tip?” the demon responded, as if to even ask was the height of rudeness on Marlowe’s part.

  Marlowe exhaled heavily and reached into the pocket of his cloak, extracted a large, shimmering gold coin the size of a silver dollar, and tossed it to the half-formed demon.

  The creature caught the coin and his face opened into a broad grin. “Nothing but the best at this house,” he purred and threw the coin into his mouth, as if it was a foil wrapped chocolate.

  It chewed, making a horrible grinding sound, but the metallic meal seemed to strengthen the emaciated fiend, who slid back into the mist. The fog itself was sucked back into the cauldron as if by a vacuum. With the merest wave of his staff, the huge pot deliquesced into the platform, and all traces of it were gone.

  “Is that a normal way to communicate?” Eddie asked as Marlowe’s cloak transformed into a fashionably cut velvet jacket.

  “It’s an ancient technique, fallen into disuse these days,” Marlowe looked back at the wooden dais as his staff transmuted into a walking stick. “Most of us use mirrors; it’s faster.”

  “So why did he go to all that trouble?” Eddie said, as they walked to the massive door.

  “Mirrors are not completely secure. They can help with communication, transportation, even transubstantiation—”

  “Transub-what?”

  “We’ll get to that when we have more time. It is possible for powerful beings to listen in on mirror conversations.”

  “Like hackers on the internet?”

  “What?” Marlowe questioned, confused by the concept.

  “Never mind, go on.”

  “Ah! Besides that, there are certain mirrors that can trap a wizard’s power. It was wise for Ahbay to have a care.”

  “He’s one of the Five?”

  “He carries the Staff of Earth.” A smile curled on his lips. “Bit of a dirty sort.”

  “Was that a joke?” Eddie said as they ascended the marble staircase up to the living room from the subterranean training room. “Did you, old wizard-guru guy, make a joke? I’m impressed.”

  “We have only one other of the Five to locate.”

  Eddie stopped at the top of the stairs. “Wait a sec. You don’t know where they are?”

  “I am capable of many things, Edward, but I am neither omniscient nor omnipotent.”

  “That’s good, I don’t need the pressure of trying to be those things.”

  They passed through a much less impressive door and entered the living room, where Frisha sat on a sofa and yammered at Daniel Kraft. She was no longer in her homeless disguise, but instead wore a silky cloak. Her hair was clean, brushed and styled, and she looked as if she was wearing make-up.

  “Fred,” she bleated, and rose to run over and hug Eddie.

  “Eddie.”

  “Of course, I meant, Ed.” Frisha turned to her seated companion. “Daniel, did I tell thee how he advised me to come here?”

  “Repeatedly.” Daniel sighed.

  Eddie notice that the tall, good-looking vampire seemed outwardly unruffled, but his hair was a tad unkempt, and the shadow of a rather nasty bruise was under one eye.

  “May I speak to you, Marlowe?” Daniel requested, grateful for the interruption as Eddie wrestled free from Frisha’s embrace.

  Marlowe gave a backward look to Eddie. “We must be off.”

  “It will only take a moment.” Daniel fell into pace with them.

  “Come back soon, Daniel,” Frisha cooed. “I’ll tell you the romance I had during the Bubonic Plague.”

  “I cannot wait, my dear,” Daniel replied with a dazzling smile. “However, I have to go out for a few hours.”

  “Very well,” Frisha sighed, disappointed.

  “I’ll return as soon as I can,” Daniel said, then strolled with the others int
o the entrance hall.

  “How’s it going with Frisha?” Eddie asked.

  “I may have to kill her,” Daniel mused straight-faced.

  Eddie’s smile faded.

  “I’m joking.” His expression was unchanged. “I don’t hunt humans, only animals. Considering the old girl’s been a hermit for so long, she’s certainly making up for the lack of conversation.”

  “That’s not unusual,” Marlowe pointed out. “Be gentle, Daniel. She is quite vulnerable right now.”

  “I have indulged her,” Daniel defended. “However, I believe my time would be better spent if I was following up on your request.”

  “Request?” Eddie repeated.

  Marlowe nodded. “You’re probably right, Daniel. Do you think any of your contacts can be of any help?”

  “So far, they have not been forthcoming,” Daniel touched the bruise under his eye. “Only time will tell.”

  “Where you gonna check?” Eddie challenged. “I mean, the guy’s a demon. It’s not like you can find his hangout or anything.”

  “If the demon has manifested in this dimensional plane,” Marlowe corrected, “he must be ‘hanging out’ somewhere.”

  “I’ll continue as you asked, Marlowe,” Daniel vowed.

  “Very well,” Marlowe agreed. “Also keep your ear to the ground. I still cannot explain how he’s become so emboldened, or how he came up with the poison used on Trefoil.”

  “What do you mean?” Eddie queried.

  “You were there when I was told of the ingredients,” Marlowe explained. “Abraxas has many powers, but I doubt he knows how to create such a mixture. I believe he had no problem injecting it with his fangs while in snake form. But, where did he get the potion to begin with?”

  “I will report to you in the morning,” Daniel assured. “Meet me upstairs away from the sun.”

  “I imagine sunburn would be a big problem.” Eddie smirked.

  “Oh, hilarious.” Daniel was unamused. “As if I haven’t heard that one in the last two score or so. What’s next? You going to advise me that if I go out to have a ‘bite,’ I should avoid the ‘stake’? What are you, Detective Henny Youngman?”

  “Henny Youngman’s dead,” Eddie remarked.

  “So am I,” Daniel responded.

  “Just trying to lighten the mood,” Eddie explained with a shrug.

  “Now, now, gentlemen,” Marlowe took charge, “we need to be patient with each other. We are all under a great deal of strain.” Marlowe opened the front door and they stepped onto the ornate front stoop. “Daniel, Eddie isn’t aware that you’ve heard every vampire joke ever written.”

  “I guess they all suck,” Eddie chuckled. He covered his mouth and doubled over with laughter.

  “How nice,” Daniel sneered at Eddie in disgust. “Small wonder vampires hate wizards. I’m off.”

  With that, he leapt into the air and was gone. Eddie’s laughter caught in his throat and he raised his head to try to find Daniel.

  “I thought you said you can’t teleport in the city,” Eddie blurted.

  “He didn’t teleport.” Marlowe pointed at the night sky. “There he goes now.”

  Eddie saw a small creature as it flapped its wings and disappeared into the darkness of the park.

  “Was that a…a…” Eddie stammered.

  “A bat, yes.”

  “Vampires can really do that?”

  “Yes, Eddie, they really can,” Marlowe advised, as they reached the bottom of the steps and turned toward Central Park.

  “Isn’t it dangerous?” Eddie glanced up and down the street. “I mean, what if someone saw him?”

  “Daniel has remarkable senses. If there was anyone nearby, he would’ve sensed them. Then again, he does like to be… flamboyant.”

  “I’ll say. Are we going to pick up my car?”

  “That would be tiresome, Eddie. It is much more expeditious to enter that grove of trees.”

  “But where will we end up? I mean, I live in Teaneck, not Sherwood Forest.”

  “Nonsense, Eddie,” Marlowe stepped on the concrete path lit only by a street lamp. “There is a park only two blocks from your house.”

  “How did you learn that? That crystal ball of yours?”

  “Actually, I looked at a map.”

  “Don’t we need a lot of trees?” Eddie pulled out his special credit card.

  “There will be enough for our needs,” Marlowe’s walking stick grew into a staff at the same time Eddie’s revealed its true form as well.

  They entered the thicket and disappeared.

  They didn’t see the small dark red lizard scurry off a rock and sniff at the ground where Marlowe and Eddie passed. It licked its lips and observed the place where they vanished with a smile that would look more appropriate on an alligator.

  “Interesting,” it said in a voice too deep for such a small creature.

  The quiet night was broken by a screech. An owl flew out of the night sky, its mouth open and its sharp talons aimed for the tiny lizard.

  A burst of flame shot from the reptile’s mouth and engulfed the bird in mid-flight. There was a horrible, garbled screech, and the acrid smell of burned feathers. The charred strigiforme fell to the earth with a thud, still smoldering.

  “Ah, dinner.” The lizard smirked, and despite its diminutive size, consumed the smoking remains in one large bite.

  Twenty-Three

  “Well, here we are,” Eddie announced, as he unlocked the back door and let Marlowe into the kitchen. “Be it ever so humble…”

  “It’s nice, Eddie.” Marlowe looked around at the simple but neat room and the small nook with a table and four chairs. “You have a breakfast room…uh…area.”

  “Not nearly as fancy as your digs, Marlowe.”

  Marlowe sighed. “Yes, but it is draining to have such a large house, so much to take care of. As I grow older, I long for the days when I wandered with nothing more than a pack on my back.”

  Eddie gazed at Marlowe, and tried to see the man in that light. “I guess you were a real ‘hippy’ in your youth.”

  “My youth was long before hippies, Eddie. In fact, long before the twentieth century.”

  Eddie paused, and knew his next question would be telling. “Just how old are you?”

  “Eddie?” Cerise swept into the room. She was wearing a dark-pink, silky bathrobe, which covered a flimsy negligee completely. She always wore very little to bed, due to the fact that she was always too warm. This was unique for Eddie, as most women he’d known always complained of being cold. But it was one more thing he loved about her, an internal thermostat that necessitated a penchant for scanty bedtime apparel.

  She put her hand to the top of her robe, making sure it was completely closed, as her eyes moved to the figure by the door.

  “Who’s this?” she asked.

  “Huh?” Eddie said, too captivated by his wife to think rationally. Had he only been away from her for a night? It felt like a week, and he wanted to embrace her. More than that, he wanted to seduce her.

  “We have a guest?” Cerise said and touched his arm with her free hand to startle him back to awareness. But he could also see a twinkle of delight in her eye that beckoned him in their secret language of love as if to say, “You still want me after all this time?”

  “How do you do.” Marlowe removed his hat. “I’m Marlowe.”

  Cerise glanced at Eddie questioningly.

  “I need him to stay.” Eddie tried to think fast. “His friend was attacked in the park. I thought it would be safer if he was under police protection.”

  Cerise’s face lost the look of amusement that had danced upon it, and dismay whirled in to take its place.

  “You thought—?” Cerise muttered. “Mr. Marlowe, would you please excuse us?”

  “Certainly. And it’s not ‘mister,’ just Marlowe.”

  Cerise pulled Eddie out of the kitchen and into the dining room.

  “What were you thinking?” her voice
low but intense. “You show up at this hour with a guest, and you don’t call to warn me?”

  “I was interviewing him,” Eddie lied, “and it was a spur-of-the-moment decision. We’ll put him up on the sofa, it’s no big deal.”

  “It’s no big deal!” her voice rose.

  “Sh!”

  “It is a big deal. Edward Berman, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but you are not thinking of your family.”

  Eddie exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry, baby, but so much is happening. And this case, it might be a serial killer.”

  Who has his sights on me now, Eddie thought.

  “Oh, well then, it’s fine.” Cerise sighed, not placated. “You get your friend or witness or whatever…he…is set up. I’ll get the sheets.”

  “Thanks for understanding, baby.” Eddie touched her arm and looked deeply into her eyes.

  “I don’t understand much of what you are doing, Eddie.” She took his head in her hands and gave him a peck on his cheek. “But I am grateful you’re home.”

  Eddie felt a small smile slip onto his face.

  Cerise stuck her head into the kitchen. “Welcome to our home, Mr. Marlowe. Eddie will show you where you are sleeping.”

  “You’re too kind, Mrs. Berman. I am quite certain this is an imposition.”

  “Not at all,” Cerise left the kitchen by the back stairs.

  Eddie walked back into the kitchen and drew close to Marlowe. “Hey, you didn’t hex her or anything, did you?”

  “Hex her? I don’t really do hexes, Eddie.”

  “No, I mean to calm her down. I thought my ass was going to be in a sling.”

  Marlowe shook his head. “No hexes, spells, or even a minor bit of illusion, Eddie. Whatever she experienced was real.”

  In a few short minutes, Eddie unfolded the sofa bed and covered it with sheets. Marlowe excused himself and went into the bathroom, coming out wearing an elaborate set of pajamas and bathrobe. Eddie was glad Cerise wasn’t there to observe that the man with no luggage ended up in a completely different outfit.