"I got work to do…" He tried to raise up. "And no broth is gonna make me stronger. I need a steak and potato to do that."
She grinned, "You are feelin' better, aren't you?"
He put his hand over hers and pushed the broth away.
"I got to get the rest of the corn picked or we'll lose it." He said in a choked voice.
"I'll get it. You rest…" She whispered turning to go to the kitchen to clean her mess up.
She saw him fall back against the sheets and heard him curse under his breath. A big strong man, that for once could not be a big strong man.
So she went to work in the fields that day and she worked every day until she had picked it all.
In the evenings she sat with him and fed him.
Within a week, he was better and moving about. She made him a steak and potatoes dinner and he perked up even more.
He got dressed and headed for the front door, but he paused to look at her. "Thank you…"
"You're welcome…" She smiled weakly.
"You sit yourself down now and rest. I'm strong enough now to handle it." He said tossing her a slight smile.
"The corn is picked." She murmured as he started to go outside.
He whirled around to look at her. "All of it?"
"All of it."
"Where is it?"
"I piled it in those baskets from the barn. They are sittin inside, in the cool." She answered, wiping her brow.
"You done all that, by yourself?" He frowned peeking out the door and staring into the fields beyond.
"Had to be done…didn't it?"
He really smiled this time as he stared at her. "Get some rest now…"
She nodded.
At least now he was strong enough to take care of it. She was glad. She was so tired.
Nadine thought about all that had happened since the dance. The hard work, the gunshot wound she had mended. She had done it without even thinking. She had done it for him, she sighed to herself. She was falling in love with her husband, she had to admit.
She fixed supper for him, but laid down before he came in.
He came in, and felt her forehead. "You alright?" He asked when she opened her eyes.
She started to get up. "I'm fine…just tired…"
"You rest, I'll bring you some supper." He stared at her a long while.
"Don't be silly. The supper is cooked and in the oven…" she started to get up once more.
He pushed her down onto the bed with one hand. He stared into her eyes. "I'll get it. You rest."
Speechless she watched him from the bedroom. And directly he brought her a tray of food.
When he placed it on her lap, she glanced at it, then him. "I could have come to the table…"
"You worked like a man, you should be pampered like one, now." He said and cut her meat up for her.
He fed her and with every bite, his eyes met and searched hers. There was a question that went unanswered.
When she was finished he set the tray on the dresser.
"Now we should talk…" He insisted, wiping her mouth gently with a napkin. It was the gentle sensuous strokes at the corner of her mouth but his touch ignited much more. She wanted a kiss so bad, she licked her lips.
"What's there to talk about?" She asked, pulling a pillow up behind her so she could prop up, once she realized he wasn't going to kiss her.
"Martina for one thing." He began, he sat on the edge of the bed, his hips brushing hers.
"Okay…" She barely uttered.
"You are my wife and I want you to know the truth. We were both young when I courted her. She was my woman, I thought. But I was still wet behind the ears too, and didn't know you had to marry before you could really call anyone your woman." He chuckled.
"She was beautiful such a strange mixture of woman, and I couldn't control myself around her. I wanted to make love with her many times, but then my upbringing said I had to marry her. Gerty would skin me alive if I made love to a woman and hadn't married her first. That was impossible too, because I was not Catholic and her parents hated me because of it. That's when I decided to leave. And I did. I hadn't been back here in ten years. What I felt for her was lust. That's why it wasn't hard to recognize it in you."
Nadine felt a stab of jealousy, but she squashed it. She had no right, she had slept with many men, how could she compare the two.
"What happened?" She asked curiously as she watched him.
"She wanted me to become a Catholic, so we could marry. I told her that I wanted her as my wife, but I would not change my religion to have her. Her father refused to accept me. I understood that. She didn't. We broke it off. That was ten years ago. I walked away from her and I never looked back. She had chosen her father's wishes over her love for me. To me that was unacceptable. The bible says you must cleave to your husband and become one. And forsake others. I would have done anything for her at the time, but change religions. So when I left, I washed my hands of her. She was upset, followed me, taunted me for a while, then she finally gave up. I haven't seen her in over nine years. And when I came back, I didn't want to see her. It was a mistake, it was lust, not love. An unfulfilled lust, I might add. Love would have conquered all the barriers but it hadn't. We weren't in love. We lusted after each other. But as time went on, I realized I no longer wanted her. Her father and her religion were stronger than what we had together. I wanted a woman who would stand with me, and accept me, as I accepted her. Now, she still wants a relationship. I don't. It's as simple as that. She's jealous of you."
"She has no reason to be." Nadine blurted.
"You are my wife, she isn't."
Nadine thought about it for a long moment. "Have you seen her…I mean…since you came home?"
"She came out to the fields one day. That much is true. Martina is not the kind to beat around the bush so to speak. She wanted me to make love to her. She said we were both older and we could handle an affair. I refused, she got mad and left. I haven't seen her except for the dance."
"She's a beautiful woman…" Nadine added. "And she knows it."
"Yes, she is. But…inside," He took his hand and placed it over her breast to demonstrate. "She's not that beautiful."
Nadine stared at him and then he bent his head and kissed her.
Shock gave way to thrills. This kiss was so very different. This kiss was sweet, undemanding and full of such promise. Nadine couldn't stop the shock-wave of emotions swamping her. Her arms went around him and she whimpered against him.
When he finally pulled away, he kissed her nose and smiled. "That was for all the help you gave me. For all the support. And remember this…you are my wife. And one day, we will speak of having a child together."
Then he got up and walked out of the room.
Tears poured down her cheeks.
Dear God…what just happened?
Chapter Eight
Gabe had to get the corn to market. There was a market for it about fifty miles to the north, where colored people could take their crops. Gabe told her he was going to deliver it and collect his money. He told her it might be a day or two.
She nodded, in silence. But the thought of being here, alone held no interest for her. She wanted to go with him.
She helped him load the wagon.
As he started to leave he looked at her. "I'll be back in a day or two."
"Okay, be careful." She warned him.
His glance raked her as he nodded. He started to walk off, then turned slowly back around. His eyes captured her. He moved toward her and before she knew what he intended he kissed her hard and long. Like a man thirsty for water.
"God you taste good, woman." He murmured as he walked away.
Once he was gone the farm seemed empty. Without Gabe it wasn't a farm, it was a piece of dirt. He made it what it was. He made it a home.
Determined to not dwell on her husband, she looked around the house for something to do. She had cleaned the house that morning. She had hung her wash out
. There was no one to cook for. She had a roast left over, she could make her a roast beef sandwich.
Nadine decided to take up sewing while he was gone. She mended his shirts, and found a pattern for a dress that Gerty had started. She decided she would spend her time with that while he was gone.
She had never tried sewing, but she found it came easy to her. It surprised her what she could do when she set her mind to it. Her seams were straight and she admired them as she continued to finish the dress.
She had worked on the dress all day, and she only had the hem and she'd be done. But a knock came at her door.
She opened it and it was John.
Shock riveted her.
Her eyes raked him. Before Martina had come along, she had dreamed about him coming to visit her. Now, she wondered why she had bothered.
Looking at him she saw the wickedness within him and herself. She felt shame.
The sun was about to go down and she was restlessly afraid of how to get rid of John now.
She shrieked. "What are you doing here?"
"I saw your husband was gone. Thought I'd pay you a visit. Thought you might be lonesome." He smiled and bent to kiss her lips. His kiss was sweet and soft and enticing, but Nadine didn't let it continue. Somehow knowing he had kissed Martina the same way, and not that long ago, made her stronger. She had to remember that.
Startled by his actions, his kiss confused her and she pushed him away.
"N-no. You have to leave," She said in a weakened voice.
"Leave, I just got here. Besides, now we can be alone. I've missed you terribly…" He cried and grabbed her to him. "It's been too long since we've been together. But now is the perfect time. Your husband is gone and we have tonight…all night." He moved decidedly toward a chair.
She had to stop him. He couldn't just come in and take over.
His kiss had been smooth, perfect and for a second she had given into it, that is before good sense prevailed and she pushed him away again.
"N-no John. We are through. This is over. You can't come here any longer. I thought I made myself clear."
"Through, you don't mean that. I know you don't. You kissed me back just now, I felt it. I felt those luscious lips of yours moving beneath mine, I felt your arms hold me. Besides, you've said that before and didn't mean it. I can see in your eyes you are tempted even now. We make beautiful love together and you know it." He insisted coming closer, his hands reaching for her. "You say one thing, but your body and your soul say something else to me. It always has."
"Get out…get out of here now!" She demanded. "And don't come back again."
John's face paled visibly as he stared at her.
"What's happened? I know you care for me…I see it in your eyes." He pleaded, his hands scanning her waist.
She backed away. "You don't see it in my eyes, not anymore. I'm not stupid, John. I don't want you. I don't want you kissing me. I don't want you ever again."
"But why…" he cried with dismay. He walked around her now, staring at her in complete disbelief.
"Martina is why…And she's only one of the reasons." She nearly screamed, realizing for the first time that she had to be strong and resist temptation.
"What about her?" He asked, stopping in front of her.
"You've been with her…"
"Well…you rejected me. I was lonely." He defended himself. "What else was I to do? I'm sure you've indulged in that black buck of yours by now. What was I to do, be alone?"
"No…you made love to her, all the time you were making love to me. You are a liar and a cheat. I want no part of you." She yelled, catching her breath and backing away once more. "I can't believe I fell for you in the first place. A married man who would cheat on his sick wife. Now that I look at it, I see how cheap it is. I won't be a part of it any longer."
"You don't think that stud of a husband cheats on you?" John sneered.
"No…he doesn't. He has better morals than you or me!"
"Martina says otherwise." John moved toward her.
"Martina and you have a lot in common John. You are both liars." Nadine cried. "She's carrying your baby isn't she?"
John looked shocked. He tried to say something, but the words stuck in his mouth. He rubbed his mouth. His eyes moved around the room. Stepping back he stared at her silently.
Nadine knew she had struck a nerve. John's face even paled.
"She says otherwise. She says it belongs to your husband."
"Then she lies. Oh, she came here, like you, wanting to create problems. Gabe was stronger than that. He didn't give into to her beauty. That baby is yours, isn't it?" Nadine cried.
"She says it's his. Why would she lie?" John asked as though asking himself. "She's knows if it is mine, I'd love it and take care of it."
"Would you?" Nadine's voice became shrill. "How? You'd be scorned for admitting something like that. How could you support the child once everyone knew…?"
John paced for a moment, trying obviously to put his thoughts and words together.
"She wants Gabe, but only because she can't have him. Like you want me because you can't have me. You are so much alike. Go to her John. Ask her." Nadine encouraged.
"I love you Nadine and you know it. We've been so good together. You can't deny you hunger for me…We've been too close…too long, we can't end it like this. Don't be stubborn."
"Then you love many at the same time, don't you John. I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out." Nadine shook her head, in wonderment. "You have a huge appetite for women, John. And more's the pity."
"If I carried you into that bedroom right now, we'd make love all night, and you know it. We are good together, meant to be together." He smiled as he reached for her once more. "You wouldn't be able to resist me. Because despite it all, you hunger for what we had. I never forced you Nadine. You gave yourself willingly to me. From the moment we first kissed you wanted me as much as I wanted you."
"Maybe I did, once. But not now." She moved away again. "No, I've changed John. I see the truth for what it is now. I don’t want you."
"You're in love with your husband?" He shrieked as though he couldn't understand it.
Nadine's head twisted, her mind racing. "I guess I am…"
"I cannot lose you Nadine. You mean too much to me. You can have us both…"
"Get out John, and don't ever come back…"
"You can't mean that…not after all this time…"
"I can and I do…" She hung her head in shame. How had she let herself fall for this man in the first place? She knew it was wrong from the beginning. She saw it so clearly now. "Go to Martina, she needs you."
He frowned for a moment, pausing to consider. "You really think it's my baby?"
"I'm almost sure of it, John." Nadine encouraged as she opened the door for him to leave.
"I've always wanted children. Mildred couldn't give me children." He sighed heavily. "I think that's what I've always wanted. Deep down, I think that's why I cheated on her all those years."
"Well you have one now…If you'll claim it."
John hung his head and walked out the door, he looked back hopefully, but Nadine was already closing the door on him.
When he was gone, she shook with the shock of his visit.
She suddenly felt unclean. Even whoring she hadn't felt this bad. Poor Mildred, to be sick and have a husband who cared so little.
So Nadine did something she hadn't done in years. She got down on her knees and prayed.
"Dear God, I've sinned. Forgive me. I must have been so blind. To have hurt that poor woman so. Forgive me, please forgive me. Wipe away my sins, make my heart pure once more."
When she got up, she heated herself some food and ate.
That evening she finished her dress and tried it on. It was a simple little dress, and it fit her so well. She smiled at her own handiwork.
She slept well that night and the next day she picked what was left of her garden, and spent the morning cann
ing.
By the time Gabe returned she had accomplished many things, and faced a reality she never thought she would.
"You've been busy…" He smiled as he climbed down from the wagon.
"Do you like my new dress?" She came off the porch and twirled around letting the skirt flare up around her.
"You made it?" He gasped.
"Sure I did. It was one Gerty had started some time ago. I just finished it. And I canned the rest of the garden too."
"And I, thanks to you have money for us to start our crops for next year." He declared with a satisfied smile.
"Sounds like a cause for celebration, doesn't it?" She smiled at him, reaching into the depths of his soul.
"I think you are right."
"I've got a roasted chicken cookin'." She said.
"Well that's fine, just fine. Let me wash up and we'll eat then…"
She walked up to him boldly now and tiptoed to kiss him on the mouth.
If he rejected her, she might wither away for good. As she got close, she saw the glint in his eye, the tension in his shoulders, but she forgot all that as her lips touched his.
At first he was stiff and unresponsive but she wouldn't let go of him until he at least put his arms around her. He felt so good, so strong, and she hungered for his touch.
The kiss went on and on and when they came up for air, his eyes sparkled into hers, he was panting, she was breathless.
"I've missed you," she whispered.
"You have, huh?"
"Very much. I'm glad you are home."
"Maybe we can discuss that baby now…" He offered.
She smiled, then hung her head. "But first I have to tell you something…"
She pulled on his arm until they were at the porch door. "Let's go in, first."
Her brow furrowed, and she took his hand and led him to the table. "First of all, this comes from my heart." She said and took his hand and put it on her chest.
He looked at his hand, then her. He had to feel the pounding of her heart now.
"Something wrong?" He asked skeptically.
"No…I'd say something is right, finally." She sighed.
He stared at her for a long moment. She still held his hand, and she looped her fingers into his. He looked at their hands. "Then…tell me…" His voice was husky and his eyes were on her lips once more.
Last Bride, Last Man (Book Three of the Red River Valley Brides Series) Page 9