Bring Me You

by Ryleigh Andrews

  With about fifteen minutes before the game was to start, Mia heard a knock on her door. Her support system. Todd. Dr. Feelgood.

  “I’ll get it,” Marty offered. Mia sat back down on the sofa as he went to let in Todd.

  Todd bounced in, all smiles, shaking off his coat and tossing it on the desk chair. “Do I have a surprise for you!” he announced as he plopped down next to her, his shaggy blonde hair soaked from the snow.

  “What is it?” she asked curiously, brushing some snow off his jeans.

  “I scored some E.”

  “You mean ecstasy?” she asked, unsure about this development. She was a one drug kind of girl.

  “Yeah. You’ve never done it, have you?”

  She scrunched up her mouth and shook her head.

  “Are you in, Mia?” he asked.

  The moment Todd said he had E, she felt extremely curious and if she was being completely honest with herself, a tad bit anxious. This was seriously stepping it up. She didn’t know if she was ready for that, but then she thought about why she wanted the drugs in the first place and her decision was made.

  She nodded with only a little hesitation. “Okay, after the game.”

  He smiled and offered her a handful of pills. “Here take this now.”

  “What’s this?” she asked, concerned with the pills now in her hand.

  “Just some vitamin C and E and Five-HTP.”

  “What is that?”

  “It’s the chemical your brain turns into serotonin,” Marty popped in. “It’s okay.”

  She grabbed her water and proceeded to take the supplements. “What should I expect with E?”

  “Joy,” Todd said enthusiastically. “You will feel cheerful, very sociable, and hopefully, very relaxed.”

  “Okay.” She definitely liked the sound of that. “The bad?”

  “Well, that is what these supplements are for—to prevent or lessen the bad.”

  It felt weird to be taking supplements before taking drugs. I’m a healthy drug user, she thought with a shake of her head.

  The game finally started and they sat back and watched it. The telecast showed Ethan’s mother and sisters in the box and one of the announcers wondered where Mia was. “Ugh! Shut the hell up!” she mumbled at the screen. I’d be there if I could.

  At half-time, the announcers noted, yet again, that Ethan’s family was there, but his fiancée was notably absent.

  “Fuck off!” she yelled at the TV.

  “You tell them!” Todd cheered her on.

  Mia should be there, watching the game up in the box with his family, cheering him on. That pissed her off. The first time she saw his family should not have been on television. She should have met them yesterday. But instead, she was in this beautiful hotel suite watching how proud his mother looked. Seeing Ethan’s mother made her think about her own absent mother. Isa was the total opposite. She was not proud. She was the mother who abandoned her daughter on Christmas Night; the mother who wanted her father to come with her and leave Mia behind.

  Half-time wasn’t even over and every time they showed Ethan on screen, the more Mia felt the desolation envelope her. She had enough. She couldn’t stand feeling the way she was anymore.

  “Let’s do this!” she announced.

  Todd handed her a small white pill and then gave one to Marty. She held it in her palm and examined it. She knew she was making a conscious choice to take the ecstasy.

  “You two have done this before?” she asked and they both nodded. She trusted them. Her bandmates would keep her safe. They always did.

  She put the pill on her tongue and hesitated a moment before she swallowed it without water.

  “You should start to feel it in about thirty minutes or so,” Marty informed her.

  “Am I going to want to make out with you guys?” she asked nervously, thinking of all she knew about ecstasy which wasn’t much. “Because you know I’m engaged and stuff.”

  “It’ll be fine, Mia. We’ll talk and feel good,” Marty assured her for which she was thankful.

  They muted the television and Todd put his iPod in the speaker dock and played DJ for them. The three chatted about the music and ideas for changing things up on tour.

  “Guys, did I make the right choice?” she asked, starting to feel a little panicky. That unknown factor was starting to eat at her. She had no idea of what to expect. The promised buzz was taking forever. With pot, she felt her high within minutes.

  “It’s alright, Mia. Todd and I are here. You’ll be fine,” Marty said calmly.

  “Look at me, Mia,” Todd said, lightly grabbing her face. “Just breathe.”

  She did as he said, breathing in and out, trusting that they could talk her down from this mounting panic attack.

  “Focus on me. Don’t let that panic get its claws in you, okay?” Todd continued. “Keep breathing.”

  The edge fell away slowly and Mia let her head fall back against the soft sofa cushion and sighed. She never fully came out and told them about her panic attacks, but she knew they were smart men and had figured it out. This wasn’t the first time panic tried to take her over in their presence. Nor was this the first time they’ve helped her.

  “You okay?” Marty asked, his supportive hand on her knee. She ran her hand through her hair and rolled her head over to look at him. She nodded slowly.

  “Yes. Just a little more nervous than I thought I’d be.”

  She rose from the sofa and went to the large expanse of windows overlooking Central Park. The snow blanketed the park. Snow could be beautiful—until it was sullied by humans and cars. Now it was a pure white wonderland out there.

  Mia had been so cold when she and Marty returned from their walk. But now she felt very warm and removed her sweater, leaving her in her black tank top. Her skin tingled as the fabric glided over her skin. She looked down at her skin and was a little surprised to find that it had a pink glow to it. She repeatedly poked at her arm, watching the pinkish color go away then come back again. A huge smile broke out on her face. Had she ever smiled like that before, she wondered, feeling really, really happy. Ecstatic even.

  She observed all the cars and the lights outside of the hotel. The colors were suddenly deeper, more vibrant. What seemed to be static background noise before became clearer, crisper.

  Glancing at the TV, she noticed Ethan. He was so freaking beautiful. She sat back down and began to yammer on about him playing football and how awesome he was.

  The two men smiled knowingly at each other. “What?” she asked self-consciously.

  “You. You’re rolling now,” Todd informed her.

  “I’m what?”

  Todd lightly grasped her arm and a small moan escaped from her. “God, what did you do to me? That felt so good.”

  “Yep. She’s definitely feeling it now.”

  “Yay!” she exclaimed happily, standing up and raising her arms in the air. It took long enough. She had been a little afraid it wouldn’t work.

  “Sit down,” Todd told her.

  “I don’t feel like it. I want to move around. I want to dance! Oooh! Let’s go to a club!”

  “Not now. Relax for a bit, first-timer,” he said, patting the space next to him on the sofa. Mia did as he had asked and sat beside him.

  “Relax,” Todd said as he pushed her hair aside and began to massage her neck. Each pass of his fingers against her skin sent her closer to heaven. It felt so wonderful.

  “Oh wow,” she murmured happily, feeling more relaxed. She hadn’t felt this way in months, maybe longer. “Guess being a drummer you need strong fingers.”

  “Do you ever relax?”

  “Not really.”

  “Your shoulders and neck are so tense.”

  “It’s all this hair on my head,” she said with a chuckle.

  “You need to relax more,” Todd ordered.

  Mia laughed at that. “Easier said than done.”

  He continued down her back. She had never felt all
these sensations before. Yes, she was high, but she felt at peace.

  “I’m going to drool. I swear,” she announced after Todd finished, to which both men laughed. “I’m so relaxed and happy. I needed this. I love you guys! I’m glad that I was stuck here in New York with you two.”

  Mia

  New York, Christmas Day 2007

  “Fuck me!” Mia exclaimed when she woke up to her alarm. She slept like shit, her body too wired to sleep. She took a Five-HTP pill like Todd told her and then scrambled to the bathroom to get ready.

  “I’ve got to get into the Christmas spirit!” she ordered herself while rummaging through her suitcases for something to wear.

  She pulled on a long red tank top over which she wore a cream sleeveless wool sweater, the tank peeking out the bottom of the sweater. She threw on a pair of dark blue jeans and some red flats and loosely tied back her long curls with a red ribbon. That’s as Christmas as she was going to get.

  Mia turned on her laptop and waited for Skype to load. She sighed when she saw Ethan wasn’t online yet. In the meantime, she needed to get another bottle of water to quench her thirst.

  A part of her missed the high from last night. Ecstasy was intense and it made everything else intense. The touching, the music, the light. Her happiness. The touching!

  She smiled. That felt amazing. Her sex-starved mind wandered over to how it might feel to make love while on ecstasy.

  “Oh, dear God,” she moaned.

  The call tone interrupted her thoughts. She smiled and clicked on the call.

  “Merry Christmas, baby!” she said happily, waiting for his handsome face to show on the screen.

  “Merry Christmas, suga!” he said with a wide smile.

  “Look at you! You look so handsome,” she noted. He wore a navy sweater with olive brown trousers and his hair was brushed back, still wet from his shower.

  “Thanks.”

  “Oh, God. You are mouth-watering.”

  “Calm yourself, suga,” he said with a chuckle.

  “You looked good last night, too,” she said with a happy grin. “I may have had some inappropriate thoughts about you and your uniform. We are going to have to make those a reality some day.”

  “Only if you are wearing all your leather.”

  “That stuff is hard to take off—it’s not as sexy as you think.”

  “Stop ruining my fantasies.”

  She laughed happily.

  “How was your night?”

  “It was all right,” Mia said with a frown. She didn’t think he’d like hearing about his fiancée using drugs last night.

  “That’s all I get?”

  “That’s all it was,” she said firmly.

  “Get a lot of snow?”

  “Looks like a foot at least, probably more.”

  “Mia, you okay?” he asked, cocking his head to the side, his brows furrowed in concern.

  “I’m fine, Ethan,” she responded.

  Mia took a deep breath and did her best to put a happy smile on her face for him. “Really,” she added, hoping he’d believe her. She knew he wanted to argue, but the ringing doorbell saved her. He lingered, staring at her.

  “Go get the door!” she said excitedly, knowing it was Luke and Kaitlyn. No way would that girl be late for Christmas!

  She heard the muffled voices of her fiancé and best friend. Then she heard the stomping of little feet as Kaitlyn raced into the kitchen.

  “Mia!” Kaitlyn yelled when she saw her on the screen. Mia swallowed back the tears that suddenly appeared. Not seeing that beautiful girl the past few months was a whole different kind of ache. She was missing her grow up.

  Bah. Stop dwelling. She’s right in front of you, Mia reprimanded herself.

  “Hey, squirt!”

  “I wish you were here,” Kaitlyn said sadly, an adorable pout on her face.

  “Aww, so do I, baby girl,” Mia replied. She needed to push away the somber tone, keep things light and happy. “What did Santa bring you?”

  Kaitlyn excitedly went into what she received from Santa. Mia smiled at her exuberance.

  “Are you going to let me say hello to Mia, Kaitlyn?” Luke spoke as his handsome face appeared next to his daughter’s. The little girl was such a mini version of him. The same dark hair, the exact same hazel eyes and the same impish smile.

  “Sure, Daddy.”

  “Okay, go talk to Uncle Ethan and help him out. I need to talk to Mia.”

  He regarded his daughter as she ran off to the family room and then turned his attention back to Mia. “Merry Christmas, sweets.”

  She smiled warmly. “Merry Christmas, Luke.”

  “How was that hangover I know you had yesterday?”

  She groaned. “I’ve had worse, but yeah, it was pretty bad.”

  “You drank a lot …”

  “I had a lot to drown out.”

  “Do you want to talk?”

  “Not now,” she said, tight lipped and lightly shaking her head.

  “You can call me whenever you need to, okay? I’m here.”

  She nodded, feeling the tears working their way to the surface yet again. This was a Christmas full of tears for her. Not what she wanted at all.

  “Daddy!” Luke turned at his daughter’s voice. “There are a gazillion presents for me under the tree!”

  Luke looked at Mia and raised his eyebrows. “Hey, don’t look that way at me. I only bought her a billion. The other gazillion must have come from someone else.”

  “Ethan?”

  She nodded in disbelief. Kaitlyn dragged her father away from Mia and if she were a betting woman, she’d say Kaitlyn had him in the great room showing off her pile of presents.

  Ethan

  “I heard my name,” Ethan said, his smile dazzling away.

  “Yes. Kaitlyn just told us she had a gazillion presents. I only bought her a billion.”

  He blushed. “I may have bought her a few …”

  “You are a wonderful man,” Mia said with a chuckle.

  “I know.”

  “When is your family arriving?” she asked him, twirling a strand of her hair over and over.

  “Should be here soon. Nervous?”

  “Yes! How do I look?” she asked, stepping back so he could see her entire outfit. She was a vision in her cream sweater and dark jeans. He wanted to untie the ribbon holding her gorgeous curls away from her face and let them loose so he could run his fingers through them. But he’d have to settle with the picture of perfection on his screen.

  “You look beautiful.”

  “After the tour, we should probably make a trip to visit your family before the wedding. Just saying,” she said, moving back to the desk.

  “You’re right. Maybe April?”

  She nodded, a ghost of a smile gracing her sad face. “Sounds good. I’ll be right back. I’m actually a little hungry.”

  “Okay,” he said, sensing her malaise. “Keep on Skype.”

  “I will. Just going to step away to make the call to room service. Five minutes.” With that, his fiancée disappeared off the screen.

  Not too long after that, chaos ensued. His family arrived. Lots of hugs and small talk. Ethan finally corralled everyone into the great room and introduced his family to Luke and Kaitlyn and that’s when he remembered the person missing—Mia.

  Excusing himself, Ethan returned to his laptop on the kitchen counter. She was back on the screen, her hand on her forehead, looking off screen at something. As much as she said she was fine, he regarded her forlorn face and knew it wasn’t the case.

  “Hey, suga,” he said, getting her attention. He figured he was on her mind. The smile she gave him was as intimate as a kiss; a kiss he wanted so badly.

  “It’s pretty loud there.”

  “Yeah. They’re here. Want to meet them now and then we can do the presents after?”

  “Whatever you want, suga,” she replied with a wink. He smiled at her use of suga. Mia rarely used terms of endearm
ent, saying she preferred his name, so when she did, it always made him smile.

  “Ethan?”

  He turned at the sound of his mother’s voice behind him. “Yes, Mama?”

  “Who are you talking to?” she asked curiously. His mother was a small, petite woman. Her shoulder length hair was still mostly blonde but the gray was more noticeable. She aged beautifully—still slender and not looking anywhere close to her seventy-three years.

  “Your future daughter-in-law,” he said with a grin and she returned it with a matching smile. He may have got his size and looks from his father, but he had his mother’s eyes and her smile. “Come here, mama. Say hi to Mia.”

  Ethan moved away from the computer and watched his fiancée and his mother talk for the very first time. Mia was shy at first, but his mother expertly brought her out of her shell. He had been nervous about the two women in his life meeting, but he could see Mia enjoyed this.

  Eventually the rest of the family came in to meet Mia. His nieces and nephews were star struck. They had millions of questions for her. He thought she’d be annoyed, but her genuine smile proved that she wasn’t.

  He brought the laptop into the family room so Mia could see the chaos of the present opening. He sat right by the computer, listening to her commentary as the kids opened their presents first. Kaitlyn enjoyed all her presents—all gazillion of them.

  “Is this okay?” Ethan asked Mia when he saw her shimmering eyes.

  “Yes … I mean, of course I’d rather be there, but this is still good. I am part of it.”

  “Then why are there tears swimming in your eyes?”

  “I’m happy. Look at her. She’s thrilled. How can I not be?”

  Kaitlyn chose that moment to turn to the laptop and her smile at them pulled at his heart. “Thank you, Uncle Ethan and Mia! I love you.”

  “Love you too, squirt,” Mia answered back, her voice thick with unshed tears.

  Finally it was the adults turn to open presents while the kids played with theirs. Ethan frowned at the pile of presents left unopened by the tree—all for her.

  “Ethan, can you open my presents to you later?”

  “Sexy gifts?” Luke asked.