Necessary Medicine

by M. K. York

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  He dropped by again that afternoon—Pete was asleep that time, so he pressed Janice’s hand and smiled before taking off.

  He finished up his shift a bit after nine, and he checked his phone. There was a text from Eli: in my office

  When he got there, the offices around Eli’s were practically deserted, the only sign of life a bit of light under the door of whoever was at the far end of the hall. And Eli’s. He went to knock, but the door was barely ajar, so he pushed it open.

  Eli looked up as Neil stepped in and shut the door behind him. The overhead light was off, but his desk lamp was on. His face was an open book, lips just slightly parted, like he was surprised that Neil was there, and full of incandescent joy.

  Neil had been afraid that Eli would—He let out a huge breath and found himself smiling back. Eli got up and came around the desk, and he kissed Neil like he meant it, sliding his hands up Neil’s sides. Neil made a soft noise into his mouth; Eli backed him up against the door and threw the lock.

  “Hi,” whispered Neil, reaching up to card his fingers through Eli’s hair.

  Eli’s smile was blinding. “Hi,” he murmured, and nipped Neil’s lower lip.

  Neil whimpered. “I thought this was a bad idea.”

  “It’s not the worst idea,” said Eli, sensibly for once, and he ghosted his tongue over Neil’s lip where he’d bitten him.

  Neil would have answered, except that Eli slid his hands down to Neil’s ass and squeezed, and Neil gasped instead, hips grinding up, sending shocks of pleasure through him as Eli ground against him in turn.

  “Do you still want me?” asked Eli, just breathing it into his ear.

  “All of you.” Neil turned his head to try to kiss Eli. Eli laughed happily, muffled as he kissed Neil’s neck.

  “Good,” said Eli. “Hold still.”

  “Wh—okay,” said Neil in a daze as Eli palmed Neil’s cock through his scrubs.

  Eli dropped to his knees, and Neil had to stifle a sharp gasp as Eli hooked his thumbs under the scrub pants and underwear, pulling them down in one smooth motion.

  The wet heat of Eli’s mouth engulfed him, and he couldn’t keep from groaning as his hips jerked into it. Eli pulled back and laughed. “Hold on,” said Eli. “I’ve never done this before.”

  Which was—that made it that much harder to hold still as Eli went back down, running his tongue along Neil’s cock, setting off firecrackers in his brain. And Eli moaned around him, muffled by his cock, which made Neil’s knees weak; Neil’s fingers scrabbled over the door for something to hang on to before Eli reached up and put them into his own hair. Neil gasped again, trying desperately not to thrust or pull on Eli’s hair as Eli worked him, tentatively at first, and then with more confidence, hitting a rhythm that had Neil’s thighs trembling.

  “Oh, fuck,” whispered Neil. He couldn’t keep from looking down; the sight of his cock going into Eli’s mouth, Eli’s hollowed cheeks, had him on the verge of coming much too soon.

  Eli let Neil’s cock slide out of his mouth with a pop and looked up, grinning. “Next time,” he said, lush and obscene, like a promise, and went back down. Neil hissed in a breath between his teeth, and Eli grabbed his ass with one hand, pulling him farther forward into his mouth. It built and crashed over him; Neil came in Eli’s mouth, gasping for air, hips jerking erratically. Eli kept his mouth on Neil through it all, moaning and swallowing, and that was enough to wrench another spasm from him.

  “Jesus Christ,” he got out, looking down at Eli, who was resting his forehead against Neil’s thigh. Eli’s cheeks were beet red.

  He ran his hand through Eli’s hair and realized that his hands were shaking. “You’re,” he said, and had to stop and clear his throat. “That was amazing.”

  “I’m glad it was for you too.” Eli had a rueful laugh in his voice, leaning back, and Neil had to whimper again. Eli’s pants were undone and his cock was hanging out, and he’d clearly just come into his own hand.

  “Next time that’s,” Neil managed, “that’s my job.”

  “You’re just very,” said Eli. “Uh.” He shook his head, licking his lips.

  Neil looked around and spotted a box of tissues on the desk; he grabbed a couple and handed them to Eli, who cleaned off his hand, color still high in his cheeks. Neil dried himself off and chucked the tissues into the wastebasket.

  He dropped into Eli’s desk chair and pulled Eli down into his lap, ignoring Eli’s vague protests. The chair creaked alarmingly, but held them both.

  “So what changed?” he whispered into Eli’s ear, in between kissing his earlobe, up along the helix.

  Eli shivered. “Just—I want more than work. I want my work, but I want you. I don’t want—you’re almost done. I don’t want you to leave California.”

  “Good.” Neil took Eli’s earlobe between his teeth and worried it gently. “I’m not leaving.”

  “I don’t want to have a heart attack in twenty years and realize how much I lost out on.” Eli’s voice was barely a murmur.

  “Seems fair to me.” Neil wrapped his arms around Eli’s middle and pulled him back into Neil’s chest.

  “Come home with me,” Eli said all in a rush. “I’m not on call tonight.”

  “All right.” Neil couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “I guess you can talk me into it.”

  They tried to stay a discreet distance apart on their way to the parking garage. In the car Neil reached for Eli, and they let their hands rest between them, the pad of Eli’s thumb brushing along the back of Neil’s.

  When they walked into Eli’s place, Neil glanced around with a low whistle. It was a nice place—big, with tall windows—but kind of sparse, bare.

  “I know.” Eli tossed his coat onto a chair. “I never really decorated after I moved in. I think I was still in denial about the divorce.”

  Neil reached out and started undoing the buttons on Eli’s shirt; Eli’s cheeks flamed up again. He liked that look on Eli.

  “I’m not one to talk,” Neil said casually. “My apartment still looks like I just moved in.” He tugged Eli’s shirt free of his waistband and rolled it back off his shoulders. “Moving boxes in the spare room, the whole nine yards.”

  Eli was breathing deeply, almost hoarsely, by then. “I’m not—not nineteen anymore,” he whispered.

  “I’ll try not to break you,” Neil said solemnly.

  Eli laughed out loud, and it was glorious to hear it ringing off the walls.

  “So give me the tour,” said Neil. “Where’s the bedroom?”

  * * *

  They’d been making out on the bed for the better part of half an hour when Eli cracked. “I n-need you.”

  Neil looked up and met his eyes. Eli was flushed and panting. “What do you want? You just tell me. Anything.”

  “Fuck me,” said Eli, and he bit his lip.

  “You sure?” Neil was holding Eli’s hips in his hands. “We could start small, work up to that. You don’t have to go all or none here.”

  Eli shook his head. “We, uh, we used to—play—so it won’t be the—” He stopped, cheeks bright red again.

  “You and Tricia? Toys?”

  Eli nodded frantically, obviously grateful to Neil for finding the words.

  Neil nodded back, taking a few deep breaths. “Okay. Okay. Do you have, uh, condoms? And lube?”

  Eli yanked open the drawer on his nightstand; there, glittering in the low light of the lamp, was a small collection of the necessities.

  “And you’re—you’re sure,” said Neil.

  “Yes,” said Eli with great sincerity and emphasis.

  Neil decided that an approach with a blowjob might be the best bet, and by the time he had two fingers in Eli and Eli’s cock in his mouth, he thou
ght he’d called that one correctly. Eli was gasping and riding his fingers, back onto them and then forward into Neil’s mouth.

  Neil gave his cock one more wide, upward-tracing swirl with his tongue and pulled off. “Are you ready?” he said. “If you still want to?”

  “If I—Jesus, of course I still—yes, yes. I’m ready.”

  “Do you want it like this?” Neil propped himself up on his elbows, looking up at Eli, still moving his hand almost languidly. “Or facedown?”

  “Like this.” Eli’s face was sheened with sweat, eyes wide. “If I feel like I’m going to break something, I’ll let you know.”

  “You better.” Neil fumbled for the condom packet, tearing it open. He unrolled it over his cock and gave himself a generous handful of lube, and as he fucked into his hand, Eli’s tongue darted out over his lips.

  “Okay,” Neil said softly, finally, leaning forward, cock in hand as he nudged at Eli’s hole. “You tell me if you want to stop.”

  “Just fuck me,” said Eli, and hooked an ankle around Neil’s back.

  Neil pushed into him slowly—toys with Tricia could mean anything, could have been ages ago—and Eli was so tight, scorching hot. Neil couldn’t stop the noise that escaped him. Eli was breathing deeply under him, sucking in breaths.

  Neil stopped for a minute, giving Eli time to adjust, and then fucked into him just a little farther. Eli moaned wordlessly, digging his heel into Neil’s back harder.

  A little bit at a time, he thrust deeper into Eli, until finally he bottomed out. Eli was panting harshly, mouth open, eyes shut tight. “Okay?” whispered Neil.

  Eli nodded, and then his eyes flew open and pinned Neil. Neil groaned and thrust a little more than he meant to on the next stroke. His thighs were burning.

  Another beat later, Eli pushed up to meet him, and Neil heard himself say “Fuck” in a broken voice; he started to thrust harder, and Eli was rocking up against him, whimpering with pleasure, clutching at his shoulders.

  “Yeah,” Neil finally managed to say, “do it, come for me,” and Eli dropped one hand to his own cock and jerked himself roughly a couple of times before he came, on one great screaming sigh, come shooting over his own belly, and Neil couldn’t hold his head up, let it drop forward as he came while Eli’s body clenched around him.

  He eased himself down, and Eli was still gasping, eyes blind. After a few moments he slipped out of Eli—Eli murmured an almost inaudible complaint—and tossed the condom. He kept running his hand over Eli’s side, his chest, trying to touch him as much as he could.

  Eli blinked a few times, head lolling toward Neil’s on the pillow. “Is it always like that?” he asked, softly.

  Neil shook his head, exhausted, breathing heavily. “Only with you,” he got out. “Just you.”

  Eli’s eyes drifted back up toward the ceiling. “Hmm.”

  “What?” Neil was starting to haze out with exhaustion already.

  “I almost—” Eli laughed a little. “If I’d known—I don’t think I could have held out this long.”

  “You’re a good girl,” muttered Neil into Eli’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “I’ll tell the priest.”

  Eli was laughing, chest shaking a little. It was a good thing to fall asleep to.

  * * *

  He woke up in the middle of the night and had to get up to use the bathroom—he had to guess at where it was, but he guessed right. On his way back to the bedroom, he realized he was thirsty, and he went to the kitchen for water, the sound of glasses clinking as he checked the cupboards until he found what he was looking for.

  When he got back to bed, Eli blinked up at him sleepily. Eli must have hit the lights after Neil had conked out. In the darkness, his hair was luminous against the pillowcase.

  “Are you thirsty?”

  “Mmm.” Eli sat up enough to take the glass and have a drink of water, and then lay back down. “Stay,” he added.

  “I’m staying.” Neil climbed back in next to Eli.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The harsh braying sound of the alarm next morning had Neil sitting up in a panic before he realized where he was. He scrabbled on the floor until he found his pants and could shut off the alarm.

  Eli was sitting up, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed. He was completely naked, with a couple of hickeys on his collarbone, and when Neil looked up at his face, he was smiling down at Neil.

  “God, you’re gorgeous,” said Eli fondly.

  Neil laughed, pleased. “Same to you, pal.”

  “Can we just call in sick today?”

  Neil shook his head, reaching for his scrub top. “Need to visit Pete.”

  From the look on Eli’s face, he’d almost forgotten about Pete. “Jesus. Yeah.”

  “Can you give me a ride in?”

  “Of course. Do you want to get a shower? You can borrow some of my clothes. I don’t think anyone will notice.”

  Neil shrugged. “I didn’t come in these scrubs, I’ll just wear them again. But—yeah. I could use a shower.”

  “I’ll join you.” Eli coughed. “If you don’t mind.”

  In the shower they talked a little about the cases they had on their services that day, made plans to visit Pete, agreed on a place for lunch. Eli cut Neil off midsentence once to kiss him, shoving him up against the shower wall and running a soapy hand over his cock. Neil groaned, the noise echoing off the tiles.

  “I have to go to work,” he hissed, scandalized, and Eli just laughed.

  * * *

  In the car on the way in, Neil said, “I smell like you.”

  “Well, you did use my soap.”

  “It’s distracting.”

  “In a good way?”

  “Yeah.”

  Eli gave him a sly, beautiful smile from across the car. “Good. Now you know how I felt when I was wearing your shirts.”

  “At the—at the conference last year? God.”

  “I could barely function. You smelled so good.”

  “Yeah, well.” Neil shrugged, smiling at Eli through the heat rising in his cheeks. “So do you.”

  Eli’s tongue wet his lips again, and Neil said, “You’re trying to kill me. What is this, payback?”

  Eli’s laugh rang out in the car. “Maybe paying it forward.”

  Neil looked back out the window, smiling.

  He loved California.

  * * *

  The hospital felt different that day. Neil kept seeing light where he hadn’t noticed it before, creeping in the cracks in cubicle walls, pouring through the glass doors into the Emergency Department when he got called downstairs for consults.

  He made time to get away and see Pete between his first and second surgery of the day, crumpling his disposable cap and mask and tossing them on his way up, forgetting his booties. Pete looked miles better, cheeks not so pasty gray. He was sitting up, talking animatedly to a nurse, when Neil got to the doorway. He paused a minute to watch Pete talk, gesturing broadly.

  “—and that’s why you can’t just trust the radiologist,” Pete said. “Neil! Good to see you!”

  “Yeah, you know it.” Neil pushed off the door frame with his hip to walk over to Pete’s bedside. “How are you doing?” The nurse escaped past him.

  “Obviously not that well yet if you’re not giving me any shit.”

  “Fine, geezer.”

  “See, that’s what I’m talking about. When are you going to spring me? Set me loose. Come on.”

  “I’m not the cardiologist, don’t look at me.”

  “I am, though,” said Eli behind him. Neil felt his cheeks go hot all over again, and Pete raised his eyebrows, obviously trying and failing to repress a grin. “And I say you’re still at a pretty substantial risk of a new arrhythmia.
Which you know, Pete, you already had that episode of A-fib.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  Eli came alongside Neil, loosely wrapping his hands around the railing of the bed, leaning forward onto it. “I’ll take you off telemetry tomorrow if you’re still looking this good.”

  “Fine. Then I get to go home?”

  “Then maybe you get to go home. Depends.”

  “On what? Come on.”

  “On whether I believe you’d actually come back in if you had symptoms.”

  Pete gaped theatrically. “I would! You think I have a death wish?”

  “I don’t know, why don’t you tell me,” said Eli. “Maybe the man who didn’t see a doctor for a decade isn’t the best one to decide.”

  “I was busy!”

  “Ten years’ worth of busy?” Eli’s voice was caustic.

  “Close enough.” Pete waved one hand vaguely.

  Neil snorted. “Oh, come on. You’re going to have to do better than that if you want him to turn you loose.”

  Pete sighed heavily, long-suffering. “I have a primary care doctor now, because some asshole,” he said, glaring pointedly at Eli, “called around. I’m going to follow up.”

  “And a cardiologist,” said Eli. “You’re not sticking yourself on my patient list.”

  “And a cardiologist.”

  “Tomorrow. We’ll reevaluate.”

  Pete turned his attention to his blanket, flipping a corner between his thumb and forefinger. “For real, though,” he said, more quietly. “I’d like to go home. It’s too strange to be here as a patient.”

  Eli twisted his hands on the metal bar of the bed rail absently. “Do you have support at home?”

  “Eli,” said Neil. “What kind of fucking question is that?”

  Eli looked over at him, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

  “We talked about this.” Neil tried to keep his voice even. “What did I say?”

  “Oh.” Eli’s lips twisted in a rueful, fond smile as he met Neil’s eyes. “Yes. Of course.”

  “What? What is with this psychic bullshit routine?” asked Pete, following their conversation with sharp eyes.