The SEAL's Special Mission

by Rogenna Brewer

  “I think we’re going to need to call someone.” Mal/Meg punched Jane’s number.

  * * *

  MEGAN WARREN WAS late to work after her doctor’s appointment. Her supervisor tapped his watch as she snuck by his office. Mal/Meg almost burst into tears as she slipped into her chair. She was clerking in the district attorney’s office. It was a good fit for her background, just not a good fit for her.

  She’d been telling herself for months she’d go back to law school. But she had no real drive or desire to do so.

  She sat at her desk staring off into space.

  At first she didn’t notice she’d skipped a period. Then two.

  She’d blamed the missed periods and weight gain on stress. Until a pee stick provided evidence to the contrary. She’d called for the doctor’s appointment after the positive home pregnancy test. Which the doctor had just confirmed. And then on top of everything she’d screwed up when filling out her medical history and had had to call Jane to straighten out her screwup.

  What else was she supposed to do except sit here and take it all in?

  Only the district attorney knew the truth of her situation. Her coworkers thought her newly widowed—the backstory used to explain the melancholy that seemed to have settled over her—and that her husband had been killed in Afghanistan.

  Where he had been for more than a year. Which would make her a slutty widow in the eyes of her coworkers once they found out she was pregnant.

  Mal opened up the word processing program on her computer, but instead of finishing up the briefs she’d started yesterday, she typed up her resignation. Five minutes later she walked into the D.A.’s office and then turned it in. Five minutes after that she packed up her desk and waved goodbye to her stunned supervisor on the way out the door.

  Fifteen minutes after that, Megan Warren walked through the doors of her sterile life. But instead of throwing herself down on the bed for a good cry, which was what she felt like doing, she threw clothes for both her and Ben into an overnight bag.

  She didn’t really have a plan at this point. She only knew she wanted to escape her life. Mal signed Ben out of school for the day and just kept driving.

  “How was school?” she asked, making conversation.

  He shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I just got there.”

  The new Ben was both quieter and moodier than the old Ben.

  But she supposed he could say the same about her. This wasn’t their life. This wasn’t supposed to be their life. Nothing about it fit either one of them. They were almost to the Washington–Oregon border before she decided their destination should be Disneyland. They’d spend a week, maybe two, in the happiest place on earth—or was that Disney World?—and then they’d be happy.

  Mal pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. She made it a few yards into the field of wildflowers before bursting into tears. She wasn’t headed to Disneyland; she was headed to San Diego—the last place she should be going. Even though it was unlikely he was anywhere near there.

  The trial in New York had been over for months. Nash had done the smart thing and had testified remotely as a pixilated image.

  She thought that meant he was trying to protect his identity.

  Having his cover blown was not the same as putting it out there in TV land for the whole world to see. Right now the average Joe wouldn’t recognize him on the street.

  But she’d hoped that everything Nash was doing, he was doing it to be with them.

  Then she realized she’d been about to do something extremely stupid.

  “Mom, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Come here, talk to me.” Ben joined her under the tree. She brushed the bangs out of his eyes. “How would you feel about having a little brother or sister?”

  “Okay, I guess.”

  “Good. Because I’m four months pregnant and in a few short months we’re going to have a baby.”

  Ben sat and thought about that for a minute. “I think my dad gave you a baby because he didn’t want us to miss him so much.”

  She pulled him into a hug. “I think you’re absolutely right.”

  * * *

  “YOU’RE WHAT?” JANE Bowman had flown in from Denver and stood in the middle of Megan Warren’s kitchen while Meg continued packing.

  “Moving to Oregon. Nothing I’m doing is against the rules. It’s not like I’m ditching the name.”

  “But quitting your job? Buying a run-down winery in Willamette Valley? What do you know about running a winery?”

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

  “Then isn’t this a little drastic? My God, you’re going to have a baby. A baby!”

  “His baby,” she emphasized. “This life doesn’t fit, Jane. It’s not me. It’s not Ben. We have to move on for both our sakes and the sake of the baby.

  “Ben,” Mal called to him. “Rabbi Adler should be here any minute.”

  “Rabbi Adler?” Jane asked.

  Meg shrugged. “He’s exploring his options. Anyway, Corin thought it would be okay. And I don’t see the harm in it.”

  “Mrs. Warren, sorry. I did not realize you have company.” A rabbi, not Rabbi Adler, knocked on the door and stepped across the threshold. “Is Ben ready?”

  “I’m sorry, who are you?”

  “Rabbi Sandler. I’m helping the rabbi out today. He asked me to stop by and pick up Ben. We’re meeting him back at the synagogue.”

  “Yeah. No. I’m sorry, Ben’s not feeling well today.”

  “Oh.” He looked taken aback.

  “I’m sorry. My sister’s in town and we’re visiting.” She gestured toward Jane.

  “Are you moving?” the man persisted.

  “Just packing up something for charity. Tell Rabbi Adler we look forward to seeing him again next week.”

  Rabbi Sandler seemed to linger even as he was leaving.

  “Was that weird to you?” Mal asked Jane.

  “Totally weird.” Jane called for backup and Mal brought Ben into the kitchen with her. “Probably nothing, but let’s be smart.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  HE KEPT TO the shadows, following the rabbi into a dark alley. There the rabbi approached an old car. He opened the trunk and began to disrobe. He tossed the tunic on top of a body. He did not get the chance to close the lid or draw his weapon. Nash put the silencer to the back of the man’s head and pulled the trigger, then shoved the assassin into the trunk alongside his victim.

  “You should have let me take him in,” Jane said.

  “And give him the chance to talk?” Nash turned. Not the least bit surprised to find the marshal one step behind him.

  She kept her firearm pointed at the ground as she approached. “How long have you been shadowing her?”

  “Long enough.”

  “Then you know she’s moving? You should go to her. She asks about you all the time.”

  “No, I’m not good for them,” he said.

  “Really, Nash? Because I’ve been spending a lot of time with Mal and Ben, and I’m beginning to think that you’re the best for them. I’m actually not sure Mal will stop moving around, running away, until she finds you.” Jane paused. “And as much as they need you, I’d hazard you need them just as much.”

  Nash didn’t know what to say. Jane suggested a life he dreamed of every second of his days, but he’d given up on it. Could it really work?

  “I don’t know. I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt,” he said.

  “I know. And I also know that you won’t let that happen. So, what do you say, Nash? Are you ready for your next mission?”

  * * *

  MOVING-IN DAY. “Well, what do you think?” Mal ended the tour in the winery beneath the house. �
��It used to be a bed-and-breakfast. So it’s kind of big, but I’m having a panic room built with the extra space.”

  “It rocks,” Jane said. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought you a housewarming gift.”

  Ben led Nash in by the hand then.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi,” she said back, because she was at a loss for any other words. She covered her mouth with her hand to keep from crying. “You’re here.”

  “I’m here,” he echoed.

  He stood there staring at her. At her belly. Then he dropped to his knees with his head resting against her baby bump. “I’m here if you’ll have me.”

  She realized he was crying. “It’s okay, my love,” she said, smoothing back his hair. “You’re home now.”

  EPILOGUE

  IN THE DAYS and weeks and months that followed they had a lot to work out as a family. As a couple. On paper they were already married as Nate and Meg Warren.

  “I think we should renew our vows,” he was saying as he put Carrie down for her afternoon nap. Carrie reminded them so much of Cara with her strawberry blond hair and sweet cherub mouth. Nash was a good father. Making up for lost time she supposed.

  “To what purpose?”

  “So that we can get the dress and the cake and invite people...”

  “We don’t know any people.”

  “Okay then, let’s do it so that you know you’re my wife.”

  “I already know that.” She turned her back on him to finish putting Carrie’s clothes away in the baby dresser.

  He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “So that you know I’m your husband.” He planted a kiss on her neck that sent tingles up and down her spine.

  “I already know that, too. Husband.”

  “Sometimes I wonder if you believe it,” he said, thinking out loud.

  She turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I believe it,” she said, standing on tippy toes to give him a kiss. A full on the mouth, hearts exploding kind of kiss.

  “How about so that you believe that I love you.”

  She pulled back. Did she believe it? “We should probably let her sleep,” she said, leaving the baby’s room ahead of him.

  “I do love you, Mal.” He never made that kind of slip so she knew it was intentional on his part.

  She turned to face him. “I love you, too.”

  The only difference was she meant it soul deep. She believed that he loved her. But not in the way she loved him. And not in the way he’d loved Cara. Or even Ben. Or even Carrie. But she was okay with that. Because she loved him enough for the both of them.

  “Come here,” he said, tugging her by the hand into their master bedroom. “It’s time for the new parents to take a nap, too. Before the big kid gets home from school.”

  The sex was good. The sex was really good. And he’d never made the mistake of calling her Cara in or out of bed again. Still there was that one time.

  Why’d it have to have been their first time?

  Because it was also something she’d likely never forget. And yet she’d probably trade the world to disappear to that little cabin in the woods again.

  “We need a vacation.” Mal collapsed to the bed exhausted.

  “You mean a honeymoon.”

  “If that’s what you want to call it.”

  “You didn’t answer my question about renewing our vows, Mal.”

  She thought he might try to put the moves on her and then she’d have to further reject him by being too tired. But he didn’t, he just snuggled up against her backside and held her. Okay so she was going to have to put the moves on him or feel rejected.

  “Why do you want to marry me, Nash? And it can’t be because you love me, or because I’m the mother of your children.”

  “Oh, I don’t know then.... Can it be because you’re smart and sexy? Not to mention the way you handle a weapon really turns me on? Especially an axe.” He rolled her over onto her back. “What do you need me to say? I could think of a whole list of reasons why I love you, Mal. And I know I still wouldn’t hit on the right one. What is it you’re looking for?” He held her in silence for a few minutes. “I need to go away again for a few days.”

  She tensed in his arms and tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her go.

  “This is why I love you. Because you never ask even though you want to. I wish the reason you didn’t ask is because you trust me.”

  “I do trust you. That doesn’t mean I don’t worry.”

  “I’ll only be gone a day or two. And when I get back I want to put a business proposition to you. Retirement is driving me crazy.”

  “Are you retired, really?”

  She worried that these little trips of his were dangerous.

  “Yes, really.”

  “Then what’s the proposition? Why not tell me now?”

  He stared down at her for a long minute. “I feel dirty, Mal. To go as deep undercover as I have gets in your pores and I don’t feel like I’ve washed myself clean, yet. I’ve seen things, done things... Mostly just stood by and watched, weighing my actions or inactions against the consequences and hoping that I didn’t make matters worse. I’d like to atone for that in my own way.”

  He had her attention, but she was still trying to figure out exactly what it was he was trying to say.

  “I tried not to look the other way when kids were involved. Helped those I could, but I don’t feel like I’ve helped enough. I think we should go after missing and exploited children. Parental abductions to foreign countries. That kind of thing.”

  “You said we.”

  “That’s right, we. My wifey and me. I think this is something we could do together. I’m not talking about putting our own kids in jeopardy. Or even both of us leaving them with a nanny. But we could open up our own agency of sorts. Operate on a sliding scale for those who can’t afford us. We both have mad skills and money. What do you think?”

  “You’re talking about a detective agency. Hmm, I like this idea of yours.” She settled more fully into him.

  “Then believe that I love you, Mal. Because you are my partner in all things.”

  She didn’t wait for him to lower his head. She brought him down for a kiss.

  The kind of kiss that said I love and I believe you love me.

  “We still have a half hour before Ben comes home from school.”

  She whipped his shirt off over his head. He took his time with her blouse, taking an excruciatingly long time with each button until he could push it aside. Next came her jeans and then his. He kissed her again. His hand sliding up her rib cage to cup a breast.

  “You know that night that you think I called out Cara?” He lifted his head to undo the front clasp of her bra.

  “Must we talk about my sister now?”

  “I think we must,” he teased. “Because my wife uses her sister as the measure by which I love her.”

  She pressed back into the pillow to pull away from his words.

  “I was reaching into my brain trying to tell you something that Cara said. I just said it at the wrong time and in the wrong way.”

  “Uh-huh,” she agreed as his hands continued to explore where she wanted his mouth to go next.

  “Let’s for the sake of argument say you had a crush on me and Cara and I both knew it. And sometimes it was even discussed. Cara had always worried that I’d break your heart. I felt like I’d failed her by falling into bed with you for very lustful reasons. Because breaking your heart felt wrong. Cara was my conscience and worked her way into my subconscious. But I knew exactly who I was making love to at that moment.”

  “Even if that’s a lie it’s a very sweet lie.”

  “Believe me, it’s the truth. I love
you and I’m going to keep telling you I love you until you believe me.”

  “Then I’m never going to believe you because I don’t want you to stop telling me.”

  “We have to stop now because the school bus is going to pull up any minute to drop off Ben.”

  “We could play beat the clock....”

  “Oh, I’m sure I could. But I’m not going to.” He started to get up from the bed. “I’ve decided to withhold sex until you believe me when I say I love you.”

  She pulled him back down again.

  “Okay, okay. I believe you.”

  “Say it again like you believe it. Like you can see it in my eyes.”

  She looked up at her husband. “I can see it in your eyes.”

  “Mallory Ward, will you do me the honor of becoming not just the mother of my children, but my wife, by renewing our vows?”

  “I will,” she said on a sigh. “I love you, Nash.”

  “I love you, too, Mal. I can’t promise you an easy life, but I can promise you that we’re in this together.”

  * * *

  NASH NEEDED TO check up on his mother and Mallory’s father.

  He knew Mal didn’t like him disappearing like he did and still worried that it was somehow connected to the life that he’d once led. The truth is he was retired, though he was looking forward to both of them coming out of retirement and putting their skills to good use.

  But he did disappear sometimes to check up on family. His marriage to his second wife had been easily annulled. When he thought of Mal it wasn’t as a number, his first or second or even his third wife...

  It was as his first in his heart. Now and forever.

  Cara had been his first love and he would probably always think of her that way. But he believed what he’d told Ben about the heart having room for as many people as you could love. Nash’s own heart had proved to be more resilient than he ever would have thought possible. But the reason he didn’t tell his wife where he was going on these trips was because parts of both of their hearts had been left in the past.