HisMarriageBargain

by Sidney Bristol

  “What if you do a little cherry or something right here?” Autumn tapped her uppermost, inner left arm, almost in the armpit area.

  “That’s going to hurt.” Carly’s eyes had grown even larger.

  “Yeah, but what’s a little pain? Come on, girl.”

  “How am I supposed to do this? I don’t have a printer.”

  “You’ll draw it on me.” Autumn handed her a neon-green marker. “Come on, ink to it.”

  Carly began laying out the materials, plastic over the table, ink reservoirs, paper towels, all of it needed to be set up. It took less than five minutes, but Carly kept wiping her hands on her pants and taking deep breaths.

  Focusing on Carly helped Autumn ignore her cell phone buzzing away in her purse and the unfolding drama.

  “How should you position me to tattoo there?” Autumn asked, sliding into teaching mode. She liked mentoring, but could rarely follow through with it. She forgot the tasks set to her students, checking in on them flew out of her mind.

  “Uh…lie down?”

  “Yup.” Autumn lay down on the sofa. “Now what?”

  “I guess lift your arm.” Carly edged closer to the sofa so her wheel ran parallel to the cushions. She unlocked the table with a flip of a switch and rolled it around in front of her. Everything positioned, she squirted a drop of hand sanitizer into her palms, rubbed it in and pulled on a pair of gloves. She glanced at Autumn and blew out a breath.

  Autumn laid her left arm straight up and folded her right under her head. “Now what?”

  “I’m going to draw—no, I’m going to clean you up.” Carly grabbed the small bottle of green soap and squirted some onto a folded paper towel. She then ran it over Autumn’s arm. “I’m going to fuck your sleeve up.”

  “No, you aren’t. Just stay away from that lollipop and you’ll be fine. What are you doing now?”

  “You just shaved, so I’m going to draw a cherry on you.” She picked up the marker and studied the few square inches she had to work with.

  Carly’s brows drew down into a line and she bit one side of her lip, which she seemed to do whenever she was really focused. She bent and began drawing a pair of cherries with short strokes.

  “Why do you have a sleeve of candy and sweet stuff? I’ve never asked,” Carly muttered as she drew.

  Usually Autumn just laughed and told people candy made her happy, but Carly was her friend and deserved a real answer.

  “When I was a kid I only got treats at Halloween and cupcakes or anything at school. Candy was this super-special thing other kids got. I know it’s kind of weird, but the candy symbolizes owning my own life. I can provide for myself. Each piece of candy represents a milestone in becoming more independent.”

  Carly stared at her, marker in her lap. “Wow, that’s pretty deep for candy.”

  “Yeah, it’s odd, but it’s me.” Autumn smiled. “This one’s going to symbolize how badass of a teacher I am.”

  Carly shook her head and traded the marker for the tattoo machine. “Ready?”

  “How’s it look?” Autumn peered at her arm. The design was a green dot from her perspective.

  Carly bit her lip again. “This isn’t a good idea. I don’t think we should do it.”

  “No, I want you to tattoo me.” Even if it was bad, it was small, and it was a friend doing it.

  Carly took a deep, hopefully calming breath. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  She dipped the needle in the pot of paint and squeezed the handheld pedal tucked in the side of her chair to start the motor.

  It had taken some creativity on their part to adjust the normal foot pedal into something Carly could use without her feet. Engineering the design was all Brian and Quin in the end. Brian designed it and together the men had fabricated it. They’d kicked around the idea of selling some, but it hadn’t taken off yet.

  “God, I hate that machine. It sounds like a lawn mower.” Autumn grinned. Mary had upgraded a long time ago, but had kept the machine around as a backup until Carly needed it.

  “I know. Okay, here goes.” Carly rested her left hand with the pedal against Autumn’s shoulder and gently brushed the needle over her skin.

  Pain blossomed, sharp and intense. Autumn gritted her teeth and screwed her face up. The underarm was one of the most painful places to get tattooed.

  “Oh my god, that hurts.” Autumn gasped as her eyes began to water. “Holy fucking shit on candy canes.”

  Carly sat up abruptly, laughing. “Shit on candy canes?”

  “You get a tattoo needle shoved in your armpit and see how you feel.” Autumn blew out a breath. “Keep going.”

  Carly bent to it again. The strokes were shorter than Autumn would have done and Carly pulled the skin a little more than Autumn liked. The outline took roughly fifteen minutes with Carly going slowly and even retracing her lines. Autumn corrected her pressure but held off on any other critique.

  “Okay, ready for color. Do you want to look at it?” Carly asked.

  “Nope.”

  Carly changed out her liner needle to a shader and began with green for the leaves. Autumn had thought for sure the shading would go faster, but thirty minutes later Carly wiped her off.

  “Done,” Carly said, her voice trembling. “Please don’t hate me.”

  “Oh, whatever.” Autumn got off the couch and went into the bathroom to examine her newest ink. “Lord,” she muttered.

  The cherries were oblong instead of round or vaguely heart-shaped. Neither of the cherries had the same shading, so light was hitting the fruit from two different ways, and the leaves were entirely too small.

  It was not, in fact, a good tattoo.

  “Okay, maybe you need some more work,” Autumn admitted.

  “I suck.” Carly paused in cleaning up the makeshift tattoo station to stare at her over her shoulder. “Be honest with me, it’s not good, is it?”

  “You can get better.”

  “But I’ll never be good. It’s just not my bag.” She stripped off her gloves and wheeled over to the garbage can.

  Autumn bandaged up the tiny tattoo to keep it from getting lint or deodorant in it.

  “Okay,” Autumn exited the bathroom, “you and me, we need to get drunk. I don’t have any answers but I can mix drinks.”

  * * * * *

  Sammi pounded on the front door of 401 and prayed someone answered. The lights were all off but he was out of options. His stomach knotted and he knocked again.

  The blue door swung inward. Isaac rubbed his face, shirtless and in only his boxers. “What now?”

  “Is Autumn here?” Sammi peered behind his friend, praying for some glimpse of his wife.

  Isaac shook his head and seemed to wake up a little more. “No, man. I haven’t heard from her since she went home with you. Ester’s worried. Come in.” He stepped back and let Sammi enter the foyer. “What happened?”

  “Who is it?” Ester’s voice called out faintly from above.

  “It’s Sammi.”

  “Autumn’s gone and it’s my fault. I thought she might be here.” Sammi paced the length of the foyer, all the way to the stairs and back to the door.

  “Why did she leave?” Isaac leaned in the arch that led to the formal dining room.

  “I fucked up.” Sammi glanced at the stairs, where Ester slowly descended, wearing a large, fluffy robe. “Sorry.”

  “I’m pretty sure I’m acquainted with the word fuck, Sammi.” Ester sat on the stairs, somehow appearing regal despite bed hair and her pajamas. Her gaze narrowed. “What did you do that would make Autumn leave you?”

  Ester would make the perfect Jewish mother. She made him feel miserable with just a look.

  Sammi admitted his intentional deception of his wife, but left out that she believed him at the doctor’s. There was no need to create another lie to back up when he was already tripping over the ones he’d made consciously.

  “I don’t blame her for leaving. It’s probably saving you from getting knocked in
to next week.” Ester’s frown deepened. “You can’t play with her like this, Sammi. You asked her to marry you for fun and she has feelings for you. Real feelings.”

  “I know.” Sammi stopped his pacing, all the energy gone, and sank onto the stairs next to Ester. “She told me she loves me.”

  Ester turned to study him. “Do you love her?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you care for her?”

  “Yes.” He rubbed his chest where his heart beat uncomfortably off-kilter without Autumn.

  “Then you need to wait for her to come back to you. Forcing her to come home won’t solve this. She has to accept her feelings and your actions. Autumn’s a smart girl. Passionate, a bit impulsive, but she’s smart.”

  Ester continued to talk, but Sammi didn’t hear half of what she said.

  He loved Autumn.

  Thinking it felt right. It wasn’t what he’d planned, none of this was, but he’d fallen into his own trap. Falling for his wife. And now she might leave him over something stupid.

  He had to find her.

  * * * * *

  Autumn stepped over the threshold into So Inked following Carly. The music, the sound, even the smell was the same, but the right corner of the shop where her station had been was empty. Bare of art, clutter, anything.

  Pandora and Brian sat across the shop at her station, magazines spread out over the padded table. Kellie was laying out stencils, probably for a later appointment, and even Mary was busy at the front desk shuffling through papers.

  “Hey!” Pandora saw her first, jumping up and striding across the shop with a huge smile on her face.

  “Look what the cat dragged in,” Kellie called out.

  “Sorry I didn’t text you back last night.” Autumn hugged Pandora, squeezing her tight and taking comfort in her friend.

  “It’s okay. What did you decide to do?” Pandora asked, stepping back.

  “Went by the house but Sammi wasn’t there. I couldn’t stick around and just hope he’d show up. I went back to Carly’s and we drank. Thus, I made her late today.”

  Carly mock glared at her, still looking a little glassy-eyed.

  “I’m pretty sure she’s still buzzed,” Autumn whispered.

  Pandora sputtered and giggled.

  “I am not drunk,” Carly yelled and threw a pen at them.

  “I didn’t say you were drunk, just buzzed.” Autumn snatched the pen off the ground and threw it back. She amped up her smile and flicked her gaze to her former boss. “Hi, Mary.”

  The hard line of her mouth eased. “Hello.”

  “Do you have a minute?” Autumn fought the urge to toe the damn ground. How was it Mary always made her feel like a misbehaving kid?

  “Sure. Office?”

  “Please.”

  Autumn fidgeted all the way back to the scene of her firing. They even sat in their same chairs. She rubbed her hands on her knees and blew out a breath. Mary folded her hands in her lap and wordlessly waited for Autumn to speak.

  Mary was the silent, strong one, but that exterior was false at times. Autumn could see cracks, knew whatever was going on internally, she wasn’t ready to talk about yet. Then again, Mary wasn’t big on words.

  This was up to Autumn.

  “I’m not asking for my job back. Things with Sammi are a little nuts, so I don’t even think I can be dependable,” she began. “I just—I want to apologize. I know I’m not the easiest person to work with, that I can be thoughtless and immature. How I handle high-stress, emotional situations isn’t the best. I run away. And I hate that it’s put a wedge in all our friendships. I really want to get back to a place where we can be friends. I miss you guys. I miss you.”

  Mary nodded and the corners of her mouth quivered. “I miss you too.”

  Autumn bounded off the couch and pulled Mary to her feet. She was getting a damn hug, and it looked as if Mary’s strength was waning. They clutched each other. Moisture collected on Autumn’s lashes and Mary’s breath came in little pants, as if she were fighting off tears.

  They finally broke apart, wiping at eyes and full of smiles.

  “Knock, knock.” Kellie tapped on the door, slowly swinging it open.

  “Come in.” Mary grabbed a tissue off her desk.

  “Your next appointment is here,” Kellie said to Mary, her gaze jumping between Autumn and Mary.

  “Thanks.” Mary turned to Autumn. “You going to stick around for a while?”

  “I guess. I have no plans today.” Autumn shrugged.

  “Okay, if not, we’ll talk later.” Mary walked across the hall to the bathroom, no doubt to collect herself.

  “Should I break out the riot gear?” Kellie leaned against the sofa.

  Autumn flopped back on the cushions. “Nah, I just wanted to make sure we’re all okay. I didn’t like us being at odds.”

  Kellie slid down to sit opposite her. “How’s it going?”

  “Hey, Pandora,” Autumn yelled. “I can see you.”

  Pandora edged around the door, a guilty grin on her face. “Can you blame me?”

  “Come on.” Autumn patted the couch, but Pandora opted for a rolling office chair instead. “I might leave Sammi.”

  “What?” Pandora yelped, sitting upright.

  “Okay, what happened?” Kellie showed no surprise.

  Autumn shrugged. “Love might not be enough.”

  * * * * *

  “Yeah, Mom,” Sammi replied automatically at an appropriate lull in her monologue.

  Three days.

  He hadn’t seen Autumn in three whole days. Not since Wednesday, and now the weekend was here.

  Once again he picked up his phone and scrolled through the numerous messages he’d sent her.

  Where are you? Please come home.

  I miss you. I’m sorry.

  I screwed up. Please talk to me about it.

  You can tattoo my other arm.

  I’m worried. Please let me know you’re okay. Be angry with me, just don’t shut me out.

  Still no answer.

  Sammi was close to tearing his hair out.

  “Have some more tea. Your color doesn’t look so good.” His mother set another dainty cup of fucking tea in front of him.

  “Mom, I don’t want—”

  “Go look at yourself, Sammi. Your color is off. You’re letting this hussy get you all worked up. Good riddance to her. You’ll feel better with some tea.” She pushed the saucer toward him.

  Sammi gritted his teeth and tapped out another text.

  I don’t smile without you around.

  “Who are you talking to?” she persisted, finally sinking into the chair across from him.

  “No one, Mom.”

  The summer heat was close to making even the well-air-conditioned sunroom unbearable, and yet she would persist in sitting out here.

  The dizziness was back. Over the last two days he’d been in a constant fugue a more romantic person might call the effects of a broken heart. If only it were that. He was eating only the most basic of foods, keeping anything down except the damn tea was an accomplishment. With his mother noticing at last, Sammi figured it wouldn’t be long before he had to admit, at least to her, that his condition was declining.

  Sammi picked up his phone and stared at the screen. He couldn’t text her again, not so soon. He was starting to sound as desperate as he felt.

  “Your tea. Drink it.” She nudged the cup toward him.

  Sammi snatched it up, spilling a few drops over the side of the porcelain, and downed it. The taste had changed a little, but it was still the same disgusting, sour tea she’d always served him. He tossed the contents back in two gulps and set it down.

  “I’ll see you later, Mother.” He leaned over to kiss her cheek.

  “Where are you going? Leaving me all alone?”

  “I have errands to run,” he lied.

  “Bring lunch tomorrow from the deli.” She spread the newspaper over the table and seemingly dis
missed him.

  Sammi made his way through the house and to his SUV, no real purpose in mind except to escape his mother. He’d never realized how bitter she was but it was there. It had taken Autumn’s polar opposite personality to shed light on it, but now he saw it.

  He turned the car on and turned the air conditioner to high. Sweat poured off his brow and soaked his shirt. The drive home passed in a blur, his heart rate increasing and his stomach churning.

  Sammi stumbled into the house and headed straight to the hall toilet. The muscles in his stomach heaved, but there was nothing except tea and water in him. He gripped the toilet seat and sucked down deep, lemon-perfumed breaths.

  Something wasn’t right.

  His whole body shook and his vision hazed in and out until it faded completely to black.

  * * * * *

  Autumn accepted an iced beer from Kellie and clinked the longnecks together.

  “Cheers,” Kellie said as all five So Inked women lifted their beverages in a toast.

  “Man, this place is really looking great.” Pandora turned to survey the living room, which a year prior had been a gutted shadow of the house they stood in now.

  “Yeah, I think Quin is almost finished, which means he’ll start all over again. I swear he’s ripped the floor up and redone it three times.” Kellie shook her head.

  “Three? I only knew of one.” Autumn peered at the flooring, which looked like the same wood floor from before.

  “Nope.” Kellie shook her head. “When he decided to keep the house and make the whole us living together official back in the winter, suddenly the floor wasn’t good enough. It would be okay if he were just flipping it, but there was no way it would be good enough for him. The one after that was the wrong color from the sample, the one after that I nixed before it even went down and we found this on sale for half the price.”

  An invisible hand squeezed Autumn’s heart, thinking about the house she’d shared with Sammi. They’d picked furniture out together, and while it was more sedate than she would have liked, it was them. And now she wasn’t part of the picture.

  She’d taken the last couple of days to think their relationship over and get some space. A month ago she’d been a different person. Did the new, semi-responsible her want to settle for half a marriage? Was that what she wanted?