Whisper In The Dark (The McKinnon Legends-- The American Men Book One)

by James, Ranay

  “All right. I’ll fold,” he said going back inside the master suite of rooms and closing the French doors off the balcony where he was standing watch.

  He picked up the phone, dialed, and let it ring.

  “Hello?”

  Kate’s voice did something to him twisting him inside. He realized he missed her.

  “Kate, please don’t hang up. May I come over? I want to see you.”

  He found that to be very true. He did want to see her and hold her. He needed to apologize for not being the one to tell her about what he had done. Mr. Lyles had told him her reaction in his office the day she had gone for the visit, but at the same time he instinctively knew she was a logical woman. Maybe this small passage of time was enough for her to soften to his position. He never remembered her holding a grudge for long as a child. Basic nature seldom changes, so in his mind the silence was a good sign. At least she wasn’t ranting at him.

  “Katherine?” He heard the silence. “Kate, please, talk to me. May I come over?”

  His soft request did something as she felt the ice around her heart begin to melt.

  “Of course, Robert. Come on. I’ll make coffee.”

  Robert was relieved as he heard the line go dead. “It’s a start,” he said with a smile.

  Chapter 17

  “Coffee is in the old pot. Help yourself.” Kate’s greeting as he walked through the kitchen door was just about what he expected. Not exactly cold, but not a warm fuzzy either.

  “Great, it smells good. I’m afraid my coffee usually tastes like tar. I’ve never mastered the art,” he said softly while closing and locking the door behind him.

  She looked at him with an amused expression, one finely arched brow raised in question.

  “Hey,” he said defending himself, “just because I cannot make coffee does not mean I cannot find my way around a kitchen.” He smiled noting she looked much better than the last time he had seen her when he walked away from her in the hospital.

  Kate smiled. She liked Robert. What was not to like?

  “Well, that is more than I can say. I have no talent in the kitchen, but I can do coffee. I’m not ashamed to admit that I have resorted to working at a coffee shop,” Kate admitted for the first time since coming home.

  “It’s honest work, Kate. And in my book you are right not to feel ashamed,” he said leaning his hip up against the kitchen counter letting her adjust to him being there.

  She dumped the grounds into the compost tin. “And it pays the bills, well, sort of pays the bills. I have regulars who drop by the café just for a cup of my special blend. I’m grateful for the tips, too,” she said while nodding.

  He just bet she had regulars. She was a very attractive woman, unpretentious and grounded, and her coffee was probably not the only reason she had regulars. His bet was she could flirt and give the customers good banter and exchange cheap shots with the best of them.

  He pulled down an old chipped mug from the cupboard, poured himself a cup, and then dug around in the drawer for a sugar spoon. Taking his own coffee black was just too dangerous an endeavor. He had never learned to forgo cream and sugar when he drank coffee elsewhere.

  “Sugar is in there,” she said pointing to a crystal bowl as old as the cup and possessing just as much character. “You take cream?” She followed up with the question.

  He nodded as she stood with the refrigerator door open.

  He thought she looked like she belonged in this kitchen, natural and wholesome. She was still attractive even with her skin bare of makeup. He would love to see her dolled up and ready to go out.

  Her nose, forehead, and neck were slightly sun kissed from the Texas morning sun. He really should get onto her for not wearing a hat and remind her that this was not New York. The sun could be ruthless even in spring. She would do well to remember that fact.

  Her blue jeans were faded and torn at one knee. He saw she was in her socks. Her boots were pulled off and lying haphazardly by the back door, like she had kicked them off after coming in from the barn.

  He could see she had been riding. There was dirt lightly smudging the inside of her pants leg where the saddle and horse rubbed. He would have known even if Chase had not reported her activities. She still smelled of country air, horses, and hay.

  This was the Katie he remembered.

  Yet, this was not the young girl with the promise of beauty in a pretty pink bud. She was a woman, fully in bloom and extremely desirable even in torn, faded jeans with the dirt of the day still clinging to her.

  She was lovely and full of fire, and he needed to feel her close to him again. He remembered what she felt like the night in the hospital as she lay tucked under his arm with her head on his shoulder in exhausted sleep. He remembered the way her hair had felt slipping through his fingers. He had thought of her continually over the last seven days, and being this close to her again was exactly what he needed.

  Before he let rational thought intercede, he placed his cup down and pulled her tightly to him.

  “Forgive me,” he whispered into the softness of her hair at the crown of her head, planting a lingering kiss there.

  She felt right in his arms. She belonged there. Whether she was off limits or not, he no longer cared. She was somehow meant for him, and he was not going to let her go.

  Much to his surprise she did not fight as he soothingly rocked her back and forth. Instead, she slid her arms around his waist and lightly ran her nails down his spine.

  “Kate, I apologize. That was my bad. I should have told you before Brice opened his big fat mouth. But I had no idea he was going to do that. I miscalculated figuring he cared enough about you not to hurt you in such a way.”

  She pulled away just enough to look at him. “Are we talking about the same, self-serving Brice? He cares for no one except himself, Robert. He thinks he cares for me, and in his mind he was probably thinking he was protecting me.”

  “I thought I was protecting you, too, Kate. I hope you realize I had no choice in what I did and no time to consult you. I paid the debt before I saw you, before I had a chance to let you know what was happening. Kyle would have done the same for Eve.”

  Surprising him she gently pushed out of his arms.

  “Oh. So you did it for Kyle out of some sort of noble obligation? Is that what you’re trying to say? You’re denying that the treasure had absolutely, unequivocally, nothing to do with it.” She needed to test the waters.

  “Yes, I’m denying it.” He could not believe she could even think he was doing it for any other reason then because Kyle was his friend.

  “Oh, please,” she rolled her eyes with her hands on her hips.

  “Oh, for Heaven’s sake, Kate. Hell, yeah, I did it for Kyle’s sake. He was my friend. The treasure is of no consequence here. I did it for you, too. But you were still thirteen in my mind. You were still Kyle’s kid sister in pig tails and all skinny and scrawny.”

  “Oh, right,” she said with a slight hint of irony. “How were you supposed to know I would grow up? So you are some knight in shining armor riding in to save the day and take up where Kyle left off in raising me. Is that it?” Kate firmly closed the cupboard after she got her own coffee cup. She stood there with her back to him. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she tried to calm herself. “I can take care of my self. I have for years. Go home, Robert.”

  “Kate, please. I did what I felt was right, right for Kyle’s memory, for you, and for George. I had not seen you in years. Sure, I can see it wasn’t logical for me to still think of you in terms of being a child, but once I saw you again I had no illusion. You have definitely grown up into a beautiful and desirable woman." He paused. "There. Does that make you feel better?”

  He waited for her to reply even through it really was a rhetorical question.

  He took a step forward. “Would it have made you feel better to know I’m strongly attracted to you and then paid the debt? How would that have made you feel, Kate? Answer me that one,�
�� he asked taking another step closer.

  She listened to his arguments and thought about it for a minute. How would she have felt? How would any woman feel if a man admitted he was attracted and interested in her and then settled a three million dollar debt? How much control would he have over a woman under those circumstances? How obligated would she have felt?

  Pretty damn obligated, truthfully.

  The debt had been paid before he dropped by the house. At least she knew his motives were unadulterated. She could never say that about Brice, and there was no amount of snake oil Brice could rub on himself which would change his basic nature or her opinion of him.

  “I guess the next thing I would asked is exactly what you are expecting me give to up for three million dollars,” she sighed.

  She felt him loop his arms around her from behind as he pulled her against him and she shivered when he lightly nipped her neck and whispered in her ear.

  “Oh, my lively Katherine. I’m sure it would be incredible to be with you. However, I’m not even going to delude myself and you should not either. No piece of ass is worth that kind of money no matter how fantastic it would be.”

  She laughed softly turning around to face him and locked her arms on the counter top behind her.

  “You’ve got a point there, McKinnon, unless, of course, you are buying the proverbial cow,” she said wiggling her eyebrows.

  “I do not see a For Sale sign on you, so I do not think you can be bought quite that easily.”

  “No. I’ve already made that mistake once,” she said looking at him realizing she could very easily trust him. His presence was comforting, his manner easy, and there was something about him that just drew her. She could not afford to fall easily into a trap, not after Daniel had screwed her so royally.

  He studied her taking a step away as much for his own sake as hers.

  “Listen, Kate, I know you’ve been burned by that jackass ex-husband of yours, and right now you are vulnerable and hurting. Even if it might be tempting, I dare not take advantage of that, my honor won’t allow it. I will not push or pressure you, but I want to spend time with you. I want to spend time with you getting to know the woman behind the wall. When you are ready for something more then a treasure hunting partner, let me know. I know a place that makes a mean lasagna.” He was thinking about one of his own specialties. When he said he could cook, he meant it. Had he not gone into personal security he was going to become a chef.

  She crossed her arms and nodded. That was all she could trust her body to do.

  God, he thought that her mouth looked inviting as she stood there with her lips slightly parted. The urge to kiss her was strong. Just beneath the surface, he saw the thirteen-year-old girl, rejected by her mother, longing for approval from her father, and grieving for the loss of one of the few people who really cared in her life.

  He could not stay any longer.

  It was killing him to see her hurt and know she would never accept his offer of comfort.

  “Thanks for the coffee, Kate. I’ll call you tomorrow. I have some things to show you, so we need to get together.”

  She watched as he opened the back door to leave for the night. It was after one o’clock in the morning and she knew he should leave. She wanted him to stay.

  “Don’t go. Please, Robert. I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch. I’m usually not like this. I just don’t know what has gotten into me lately. Stay. Talk to me some more.”

  “Kate, I don’t think that is a good idea.”

  Definitely not a good idea. I’m dying to touch you, he confessed to himself.

  “The house is too big and I hear whispers in the dark. Whispers of past lives and past loves. I’m lonely and I miss him,” she wiped away the single tear rolling down her cheek.

  That was all it took.

  Chapter 18

  Robert turned the key in the new deadbolt lock on the door and met her half way. She eased into his arms and he let her cry for a minute before leading her into the living room and sitting her on the couch beside him. He pulled her over against him then handed her the box of tissues sitting on the end table after she tucked her legs under her.

  “Awww,” she cried, “why does everything I touch turn to absolute shit?” she moaned into his chest.

  He smiled then softly laughed. “Now, now, it is not all bad,” he said wiping the tears with the pad of his thumb.

  “Oh, horse poohy. Don’t patronize me,” to cover her own frustration she snapped at him wondering who this woman was who was so whiny and bitchy. It wasn’t usually like her to be so moody. Getting up off the couch, she was angry, confused, and feeling guilty about her attraction to Kyle’s longtime friend and now her business partner. She tried logically to sort out her feelings, but things were just so jumbled that she conceded it was no use, giving up for the moment.

  Having just laid Kyle in the ground, she felt sure Robert should be off limits. She was thinking about her own guilty pleasures, which at the moment consisted of thoughts of Robert gloriously naked and riding something other than a good horse.

  Standing at the front door looking out into the dark of the night, she knew Robert’s men were out there somewhere in the darkness. She could feel them.

  “I have a degree from Princeton and the best thing I can boast is I make good coffee? It doesn’t get much more pathetic than that, Robert.” She picked at the nail polish on her little finger.

  “Kate, don’t go there,” he warned with empathy. “Of course you have things to offer.”

  She continued, completely ignoring his warning. “Millions of dollars were lost because of my slime ball husband. I’m in hock up to my eyeballs. My mother won’t speak to me because I’m an embarrassment to her, George was hurt, and Kyle is dead.”

  Grabbing her by the shoulders he squeezed her fueled by the sudden anger he felt at the ghosts of her past making her doubt herself. He hated seeing her beat herself up. She had so much to offer and was a very intelligent woman with a sharp mind. Her looks did not hurt either.

  “You’re having a pity party, Kate. Get past it.”

  He knew instantly he had stepped over some invisible line, and she came out fighting.

  “Turn loose of me you overbearing bastard! How dare you tell me to get past it.” She slapped at his arm until he turned her loose. “I’m sorry if I have feelings and I’m not some mindless, spineless, plastic plaything like you are undoubtedly accustomed to having in your life. This is my grief, and I’ll deal with it however I damn well please.” Her eyes were on fire. “And to think I was going to ask you to have dinner with me tomorrow night. Well, you can just forget it, Mister. That offer is so far off the table that if the world were flat it would be falling into eternity!”

  She forcefully pulled away perturbed at the tears now free flowing again.

  “Kate, you misunderstand me. Oh, baby, if I could take this hurt from you I would, but I can’t.” He held her again. “You need to grieve for Kyle. Grieving, I can understand. And you do have to go through it in your own way, just as I did for Marilyn.”

  He cupped her face wiping the tears with the pad of his thumbs. “This moodiness is normal. I can understand that as well, and I’m here to support you through it no matter what. I’m here however you need me. But this mutilation of your self-confidence I don’t understand, and I won’t let you continue to beat yourself up.”

  “I’m sorry,” she apologized, looking down at her feet. It was becoming an automatic response. She never even realized she had apologized turning away again feeling unworthy of his support.

  He saw how automatic and unconscious the words and action had become for her. He wanted to lash out at her mother, her ex-husband, and anyone else in her life who had made her feel she had to apologize for having feelings and being human.

  He closed the gap between them, but did not trust himself to touch her. He was angry, not with her, but with the situation he found them in.

  She took a step back. He
did not really frighten her. She felt she knew him well enough to know he was not a violent man. Yet, it was always a good idea to give a strange bull a little leeway in the pasture.

  “Just stop it, Kate. Stop apologizing for the sun rising, and for the famine in Africa, and the fact the traffic light in Cleburne is constantly on the fritz. You cannot control the sun, the rain, or the Texas Department of Transportation. George is tough. He is going to be fine. That was not your fault. Screw your mother. It’s her loss. Not yours.”

  He softened visibly as he stepped forward and ran two fingers down the side of her face. His touch was much softer than before as he looked into her eyes.

  God, he could love this woman, and he knew it was probably already too late to stop that ship from sailing. It had happened like that with his parents. Not exactly love at first sight, but very close. When it’s right it is just right, and with Kate it just might be, he thought.

  “I think you are an awesome woman, beautiful, and full of fire and passion. You are fiercely loyal to those you deem worthy. I see how you love and care for George. I want to be one of those people, Kate. I’m sorry, I should have told you right away.”

  She hesitated to respond.

  Robert held his arms open.“Take me back in. Let me back into that circle of trust.”

  How could she refuse the comfort he was offering? He understood her, which was more than she could say about herself lately. She just looked up at him dumbfounded. Not since Kyle had there been anyone in her life who cared enough to tell her that it was all right to be who she was without feeling ashamed. He liked her just the way she was, thorns and all. Daniel had always tried to mold her into the perfect Wall Street wife and had blamed her when she fell short of his expectations.

  Robert was different. He could be her sanctuary, if only for a little while.

  Chapter 19

  Holding her felt good, and Robert wanted her to stay there in his arms and in his life until he could sort his feelings out. He knew he could care deeply for her and probably already did. He was physically attracted to her in a way that excited him. He had never felt like this before, not this quickly and certainly not this intensely. It was almost as if the night he had seen her sleeping in the swing on the front porch, his body, mind, and heart realigned by just looking at her.