Gorgeous Rotten Scoundrel

by Nina G. Jones

  "Sadie!" She embraced me. Something about that hug made me feel like a fraud.

  "Thank god you're here." She literally squeezed the words out of me. I quickly covered up. "I needed some estrogen in this house."

  "Are you two wringing each others' necks?" I resisted to urge to burst into a combination of tears and hysterical laughter. "Where is that handsome fella?"

  "He's upstairs. I gotta bring him down."

  "Minds!" Heath said jovially as she walked in the room. How can he do that, just act all fucking normal, like his world didn't just implode and then explode like some sort of genital big bang?

  "You look like you've lost some weight my sweets," she said placing her cheek to his and smooching. Sometimes I envied how she could be so openly affectionate, even though I usually saw it as over the top and garish when she was.

  "Haven't been able to exercise, obviously."

  "But you'll be out of the casts soon?"

  "Very."

  "Yay, I am so happy for you!"

  Heath had a content look on his face, and then I remembered what he said to me, that day I first realized that underneath the piggish behavior, there might be a real person underneath: he didn't have anyone. Right now, Mindy and I were his people. He had all of his people in one room, and that realization kind of kicked me in the stomach.

  "Let's go to the pool!" Mindy exclaimed. "God, work has been a fucking grizzly bear. I would like just one afternoon to soak in the sun and maybe get laid by a handsome, young, wealthy executive of some sort. Is that too much to ask?"

  I quickly darted my eyes away. Sex is no big deal to you, act casual, nothing to see here. In an effort to divert my eyes from Mindy, they somehow landed on Heath's and he did that shy smirk thing he does occasionally and just like that, my green bikini bottoms were dampened.

  It was another beautiful summer day. We listened to Mindy bitch about all of her goings-on at work as we sat by the pool. Heath was quieter than usual, and I couldn't tell if that was because Mindy exhausted him as much as she did me sometimes or if it was because he was thinking about the balcony. All I was sure of is I could not stop drifting away as mini flashbacks continually violated my thoughts.

  "Isn't that so ridiculous?" Mindy asked. About what? I had no idea.

  "Uh...yeah." I said, faintly laughing, hoping that what ever she was referring to had a modicum of humor to it. I vowed to continue listening to her speak this time and I didn't even realize that I had again drifted away until another voice interrupted.

  "Why the stupid grin?" It was Heath, and my brain registered it about five seconds after he asked, so that when I finally slowly turned to acknowledge him both Mindy and Heath were intently staring at me, stifling their laughter.

  "Someone's head is in the clouds!" Mindy said. "Did you meet someone out here?" She asked in a syrupy-sweet tone, batting her eyelashes. She clearly didn't believe her words because: 1) everyone thinks I am uptight man-hater and no fun 2) I would have told her by now 3) I am a serial monogamist and I rarely do "flings."

  It was an ambush, and my eyes shot around a bit bewildered, as if I had woken up from one of those terrible mid-day naps where you're not sure if you've slept for one hour or one day. "Oh shut up!" I said defensively. "I don't even remember what I was thinking." I imagined re-fracturing Heath's leg with a swift kick. Then her stupid phone that she can never be without rang.

  "Fuck me sideways," she said answering it. "Mindy Sloane...What? No!...Fuck that...Get him on the phone right now...I don't care where the fuck he is. I am poolside in the Hamptons and he doesn't seem to give a shit about that, does he?...Fine...Call me back ASAP." She shook her head in dismay. "Another fire I have to put out. Anyway, I was going to mention that you fuckers are almost out of tequila." My bad. "I wanted to make some margaritas, so I'll go grab it."

  "I can go with." Please dear god, don't leave me alone with Heath.

  "Sweets, the call is confidential. So I need to be alone anyway." I had never heard her refer to anyone as Sweets until today, must have been some term she picked up from a client since I last saw her. I expected she would now overuse it until she tired of it in a month or so.

  As she threw on her cover up and tote and headed for the house, I shot up. "Alright, well I'll put together some snacks while you're gone."

  "Great, I'll need something to soak up the booze."

  I followed her into the house like a puppy and my heart sank like a stone as she walked out the door. I was alone with a predator on the loose. I relished the solitude of the kitchen, as Heath never seem interested in the process, just the final product. As I bent over to pull out something from the crisper, I heard the ominous squeaking of his wheelchair. I should have ripped his shoulder back out of its socket when I had the chance. My heartbeat hitched for a beat and I continued in my quest of regressing to a fifth grader by pretending I didn't hear him behind me.

  "Nice view," he said.

  He had my number. He wasn't going to tip-toe around me like I had trained him to do, he knew now that he could be forward and there was a great likelihood that I might fuck him anyway. I had a sample, and I was hooked: Heath was my dick pusher.

  I placed the veggies on the counter without saying a word. If I just ignored him, maybe he would disappear. Mindy's words echoed in my head: As long as you stay in the friend-zone guys like that are really fun to be around. They're really only jerks to the women they feel they have power over.

  Stupidstupidstupid.

  "We don't have to talk," he said. I could feel him behind me and my whole body became rigid. I felt his lips on the small of my back. Mmmmm.

  "Mindy could be back any minute." I said flatly.

  "She does speak," I could feel his smirk. I rolled my eyes, and I had a sense he could feel that too. "You know Minds, she'll be gone for a while."

  "And what makes you think I want to do anything but prepare some snacks?"

  "Because I saw your face at the pool and because you're quiet. You only talk to me when you think sex isn't in the cards for us. I guess you hate me that much, but I'm willing to be the fall guy here."

  "How selfless."

  "I'll admit, something about your self-loathing every time we fuck is kind of hot."

  "The only guy in the world who's happy to admit when a woman hates herself for fucking him."

  "Well, I know you hate it because you wanted it, because you liked it. I was there remember? I could hear you whimpering like a puppy. Or was it more howling like a banshee?" Pig. He slid his hand over the crotch of my swimsuit. Busted. "See? You're wet."

  I wriggled my hips, but it seemed to only provide him with better friction as he cupped the space between my legs, providing enough pressure to make me super aroused without overstimulating. I released the knife I was holding as a possible option for dealing with Heath. He bit the meat where my back curves into my ass. "When I'm back on my feet again, you are going to have no idea what hit you."

  "That won't happen. This will be the last time. I'm your best friend. Remember when you said that? Best friends don't do this."

  "Debatable." He abruptly swatted my legs open, followed by the act of pulling the swimsuit down to my knees. "I know we've made a big deal about your tits, but your ass..." Then he bit one of the cheeks, hard, and I jumped. This is so bad. Then I felt the warmth of his mouth, his tongue slowly making its way into me. He was measured, there was no rush in his rhythm. I overhand gripped the edge of the countertop that dug into my waist. I needed to hold onto something, to transfer the force that was gripping me, but the hard, cold edges of the granite weren't good enough. I reached behind to grab a hold of him, then I turned, to see his messy hair appearing over the horizon of my backside. He was deep in, moaning, enjoying my taste. I grabbed his messy golden locks. He responded with longer, more passionate strokes of his tongue, only stopping to tell me how hard I made him.

  He reached around my hips, pulling me closer as if he couldn't get enough of me, taste enough of me. And
it was happening again, I was losing control, my hips rocking back into his face like I was fucking it doggy style. And my mouth opened, singing all kinds of involuntary sounds. A combination of curses, calls out to the lord, and wails, all capped off with a "you motherfucker," poured out of my mouth. I yanked his hair. And then there I was coming. Hard. Slapping down on the counter with one hand, and pulling Heath's face deeper into me by his hair roots with the other, all the while rocking my body back and forth into his face.

  "All right, well I have to go. Glad we could--Oh god." The sound of something solid crashed onto the floor. I looked up, still mid orgasm and saw the giant "O" formed by Mindy's mouth. Looks like I finally found a way to shut her up. I was still doing the stanky leg, my body wasn't ready to stop even though my mind wanted to. Heath popped his head out of my nether-regions. "Oh," was all I heard him say.

  She quietly knelt, feeling the floor for her phone, stood up, made a robotic 180 degree turn and walked back out. "I'm gonna give you two a moment..." she barely uttered as the door closed behind her.

  "Shitshitshit." I said pulling my bottom back up. Heath, was of course, laughing.

  I fumbled around for a bit, looking for I don't know what.

  "It's just Minds."

  "No. Just shut up," I said putting my hand up. "No one was supposed to know and this isn't even a thing," I said wagging my finger between him and me. "I am going to talk to her, let her know that was a one time deal and that there's nothing going on here."

  "Yup."

  "Because you are my client and this is unacceptable."

  "Uh huh."

  My legs were still iffy from the encounter, so I walked towards the entrance like a newborn deer. I found Mindy sitting on the veranda, the bottle of tequila open in her hands.

  "Was it that traumatic?" I asked.

  "I thought I'd kill the next few minutes while you two finished up." I sat next to her and she handed me the bottle with out even looking over. I took it.

  "For the record, that was a one-time thing. Never happening again."

  She slowly rolled her neck to face me with an expression that read: you are so full of shit.

  "What I just saw looked like two people who have been secretly fucking, trying to sneak in a quickie. I highly doubt you chose my impromptu store run to give it your first go."

  "I meant in the general sense it was a one time thing, the tryst. It's over now."

  "Okay," she said nodding, clearly not believing a word I said. "Looked like it was good," she said, snatching the tequila back.

  "It was okay."

  She laughed hard, swigging back a shot. "Holy shit, he fucked your brains out, didn't he?" I scrunched my lips. "Sadie, he's gorgeous, he's fun, he's a playboy. I bet he's a great lay. This is exactly the guy who you want to fuck around with for the summer. Not everything has to be so clearly defined."

  That's not how my brain worked. I needed clear guidelines around my relationships. And I knew that's all it would be to Heath: I would be the girl to hold him over until he was literally back on his two feet, then it would be back to model threesomes. I don't know how I could handle that, being another checkmark on his list of conquests.

  "You don't like him, do you? I know you have a penchant for the emotionally unavailable, but he is like an alien as far as human relationship emotions go."

  "No! He's fucking annoying and a jackass. I think it's the proximity. It's just the two of us. And yes, he's undeniably gorgeous, but I really didn't want to go down this path. I thought I could teach him a lesson."

  "Oh fuck a lesson! Life's too short. Have you thought about the fact that maybe he's teaching you a lesson in having fun?"

  "Bwahaha!" The laugh shot sharply out of my gut. "I am surrounded by enablers," I muttered.

  "If you are looking to me for moral guidance, you have certainly come to the wrong place." She gave me the bottle. "All I can say is keep it straight fucking, don't fall in love. And you'll be golden, pony boy."

  "Not a problem in the least bit."

  "Alright, time to pull off the bandaid and go back inside," she declared.

  As soon as I stood up, Mindy let out a wail of laughter.

  "What?"

  "There's a bite mark on your ass!"

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Heath was by the pool again, I should have known not to expect an awkward reaction from him. That would require some sort of shame.

  "Have you recovered?" he asked Mindy, with a smart-ass smirk on that son-of-a-bitch face of his.

  "Just finished scheduling an appointment with my therapist," she said, dipping her feet in the pool. "Well I'm glad someone got some today, it doesn't seem like any gorgeous, enigmatic billionaires are dropping by any time soon."

  "Don't look at me, your arrival left me with the most painful case of blue balls known to man."

  "How appropriate," I quipped.

  "Well, good," Mandy interjected. "You'll have to suffer along with me for as long as I am here. Misery loves company."

  “Although I will admit, I think what you’re lacking, Minds, are these sweet wheels,” Heath gestured to his wheelchair, which glimmered in the afternoon sun. “Sadie can’t get enough of me on this thing.” I visualized pushing him into the pool. Bet it would be tough to hold that content, shit-eating grin while screaming like a little girl, wouldn’t it? His blunt remark left me speechless for a moment because it was sort of true, but so damned cocky at the same time and warranted some sort of comeback. However, my mind drew a blank. Before I could set him straight, Mindy spoke.

  “What’s that saying? The squeaky wheel gets the taco?”

  “Oh dear god,” I huffed reflexively, under my breath, but loud enough for them to hear.

  “No I think it’s the squeaky wheel gets the lube, isn’t it?” Heath added. “No…no wait…it’s the squeaky wheel gets to put his face in Sadie’s ass.” Mindy’s eyes almost popped out of her skull as they erupted into laughter.

  “You are both terrible, vile people,” I said in feigned disgust, crossing my arms and turning away to walk into the house.

  Both Mindy and Heath continued laughing themselves to tears, humored by my mortification.

  “You have to appreciate the food metaphor!” Mindy called out to me.

  “Mind…stop…don’t laugh,” I heard Heath say in between his chuckles. Could he be trying to be a gentleman? “Seriously, Sadie makes the best tacos and I’m afraid she won’t look at them the same again.” Their laughter resumed.

  “The both of you are cut from the same asshole cloth,” I said with my back facing to them as I continued on my path, my lips curved into a tight grin.

  “You love us!” Mindy called out as I sought some refuge in the kitchen to finish making snacks, but now the kitchen was tainted with our sex, and my one sanctuary now had his name written all over it.

  ***

  Mindy decided to stay for the entire weekend, which was great news. I pretty much stalked her, knowing that her presence would keep me abstinent, not that I had any intention of sleeping with Heath again.

  Then Monday rolled around and I took him to have his casts removed. Heath was overjoyed, but he wasn't over the hump yet. He had to wear moonboots (so I called them) and use crutches. He would be going to physical therapy every day to speed up his recovery. The one thing that struck me now that he was back on his feet was his height. I googled his stats (don't make that face): he was 6'3," just as he had claimed, which apparently was on the upper end of male model heights. Mindy was right, he had lost some weight, he would be the only person in the Milky Way to sit on his ass for six weeks and not get fat. Instead, his muscles had lost some of their bulk, but he was still very much a specimen of physical perfection. He just leaned towards "I was born this hot" rather than "I go to the gym every day to look this hot."

  The first thing he said on our drive home: "I desperately want a shower. A long, hot, steamy shower." He stretched out those last words seductively as he closed his eyes and
ran his fingers through his hair.

  "You sure that's safe? You're supposed to take it easy."

  "I'll sit, I don't give a damn. I just need that. You have no idea."

  Mindy being around helped kill some of the momentum and allowed me to recalibrate a bit. But now that she was gone, and he mentioned being in a steamy shower, my lady parts started to betray me again with a tingle. Our last encounter felt so incomplete. I was left wanting to feel his dick inside of me, to ride him again, but then Mindy popped in and it all ended before any of that could happen.

  That's what do-overs are for? Right? I cursed under my breath at the thought.

  "What was that?" Heath asked.

  "Nothing."

  I waited for him to make a lewd comment, to tease me, to generally try to make me miserable and hate myself, but he didn't and it made me more frustrated by his constant redirection.

  "I'm going to get back to my old self fast, they say four weeks, I give it two."

  "Of course, superman."

  When we got back to the house, Heath, just as he promised, headed straight for the stairs in the direction of his shower.

  "Let's get you on the lift."

  "No."

  "You just got your casts taken off, you're supposed to take it easy between therapy sessions."

  "I am not getting on that stupid geriatric lift again. Ever."

  "But it's so fast," I said sarcastically. He sneered at me. "If you fall, you'll kill us both."

  "Well I guess we'll have to make sure I don't fall then."

  "Stubborn jackass," I muttered under my breath. He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes and repressed a satisfied smile.

  We labored up the staircase. With each step I grew progressively angrier at him, he was just so eager to get back to his old ways that he had me doing this shit.

  "This is so stupid," I said, about halfway up.

  "Do you have to fight me on everything?"

  "Only because everything you do is stupid."

  "Wow, you're moody today."

  "I wonder why. It wouldn't have anything to do with this giant man putting all his weight on me."