“You’ll eat,” Aidan warned jokingly. “Or else.”
Dinner was fine, everything seemed normal. Maura and Peggy weren’t quite themselves, but they hid it from Chloe without issue. They all chattered on about what Chloe had done at preschool that day, about how summer was just around the corner, about the trips to the seashore they’d maybe take.
After they all cleared the dishes, Peggy said, “Why don’t you two go out for a while, get a pint at the pub? I’ll put Chloe to bed. Go on, off with ya.”
Ten minutes later, Aidan and Maura were walking the seven blocks from her house to their local, the Wee Dram Pub. The night air wasn’t as chilly as usual; summer really was on its way. Maura’s thin green sweater didn’t even need to be buttoned.
“Why do I feel like my mum had a reason to get us out?”
“She’s just worried about you,” Aidan said. “She thinks I’ll cheer you up.”
“Normally, you’d be able to, no doubt.” Maura blew out a huff of air. “Not tonight, though. I’m down, no question.”
“Then your mum was right to make us go out for a while.”
“Distraction tactics?”
“Aye, and it’ll work, you’ll see.” Aidan shot her a grin as they approached the pub’s front door.
In a few minutes, they were seated in the farthest corner booth, away from most of the comfortable noise of the patrons, music, and the flat screen over the bar flashing football and rugby games.
Maura shrugged out of her sweater as she said to Aidan, “What’s the story, Ay? You look so serious.”
“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he confessed. “Worried about you. You and Chloe.”
*
Maura watched as Aidan ran both hands through his hair, then over his strong jaw, covered in dark gold scruff. “Something about this thing with Niall really bothers me,” he said. “Ya don’t just show up out of nowhere unless you have a very specific agenda. And when he tried to just shove his way into the house like that, no respect for you whatsoever… I wanted to kill him, Em. I really did. And if he comes near you like that again, I just might.”
“My knight in shining armor,” she said sweetly, as she’d joked many times throughout the years.
“I’m not kidding,” he said, his brilliant blue eyes flashing.
“Neither am I.” Something in her chest pinged with warmth and spread through her. “Good lord, how you care about us—me and my daughter. You always have. Because you’re a good man, with a good heart. And I—” Maura smiled up at the waitress. “Hi, Janie.”
“Hey, you two. Here ya go.” She set down two pints, hard cider for Maura and Guinness for Aidan, and asked how Chloe was. They chatted briefly before Janie walked away.
Maura looked at Aidan again, saw the lines of tension in his face, and was overwhelmed by a wave of emotion. She’d been swallowing her feelings all day—the anxiety and worry… affection and gratitude for Aidan, fear and regret for Chloe… rage and a different kind of fear towards Niall… and a wallop of fresh self-reproach that she’d ever loved such a horrible person. It all washed over her now, now that she wasn’t at work, or at home putting on a brave face for her mother and daughter. Away from everything, in the safety of Aidan’s presence, she closed her eyes. The tears that had threatened all day finally burst free and slid down her cheeks.
“Hey now, Em.” Aidan’s hands slid across the tabletop to grasp hers. They were warm and firm, and felt so good around hers, which had gone cold as they often did when she was anxious. “Don’t cry, love. Everything’s going to be okay.”
“I-I’ve been flooded with so many thoughts all day, so many feelings…” She sniffled and shook her head. “I just… I’ve been thinking back on my life, and how I’ve already made so many mistakes.”
“What?”
“Aye, I have. Okay, if not flat out mistakes, how about bad choices.” Maura sniffled harder and pulled her hands from his to sweep the tears off her face. “Really. Terrible choices in men… back to university, even. I dated Jimmy for two years, gave him my heart and soul… and he ended up cheating on me.”
Aidan scowled. “That’s why I beat the shite out of him when you found out, remember?”
“Aye, I do.” She couldn’t help but grin. “You hit him first, caught him off guard… but then he decked ya hard. Scared me witless.”
“He was stronger than me, what can I tell ya.”
“You were no slouch. You gave as good as ya got, McKinnon. I was there.”
Aidan shrugged, but couldn’t hide the spark of masculine pride in his eyes.
“I couldn’t believe you started that fight over me.” She went on, “I didn’t know what to do. But with that last punch, he really took ya down. I got scared. You were almost unconscious—”
“Okay, okay, I remember, ya don’t have to go there.”
“And I felt so bad, I took you back to my place—”
“And you nursed me back to health. I got beer and ice cream in bed, and we watched movies for the rest of the night. Next day, you treated me like a bloody king. Not so bad.” Aidan winked. “I told ya then, but I’ll remind ya now; he deserved it, for how he treated you. But I think I was just as disappointed in him as you were. I mean, the three of us were so close… he lied to you, aye, but he lied to me, too.” He waved a dismissive hand. “Past is the past. He’s gone, we still have each other. He lost, twice over.” With a shrug, he lifted his pint and took a big swallow of stout. “No regrets.”
“Like I said. My knight in shining armor,” she said again, with great affection.
“You’re my best girl. Always have been.” He clinked his glass to hers and they sipped. “Besides, back then, you didn’t need a knight. You were fine. I always just tagged along.”
“What a load of crap!” she said, laughing. “From day one, we were like… partners in crime.”
“Aye, we clicked from the start.” His eyes shone as his teasing grin turned warm. “Ahh, memories. First day of class, you sat down next to me and couldn’t help but smile at me.”
“It was the only empty seat in the room,” she quipped.
“It was meant to be!” he said with mock drama. “That professor was a total bellend, we started whispering like naughty kids… then went for something to eat after. Instant friendship. The rest is history.”
She nodded slowly, loving how well he remembered. “Lucky me.”
“Nah, lucky me.” He tossed her a wink. “I got an amazing goddaughter out of the deal.”
The mention of Chloe made Maura smile. She tapped her glass to his again.
They sipped in comfortable silence as people laughed and talked throughout the pub. A cheer went up from a group of young guys at the bar; someone on the telly had scored a goal.
“There are so many things I wish I’d done differently,” Maura said.
Aidan shook his head. “Don’t do that. Pointless. Can’t undo the past.”
“No, but we can learn from it. Or try to.” She ran her fingertip around the rim of the glass in lazy circles. “I don’t mean for this to sound like a melodramatic declaration, but I came to a decision today. I’m not going to date again.”
He blinked. “What? You mean, like, ever again?”
She nodded.
“Pfffft.” He waved a dismissive hand. “That’s ridiculous. Pure shite.”
“No, it’s not. I’ve been thinking about it. For a while, actually, but last night just drove it home…” She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to articulate her thoughts. “I’ve made too many bad choices. I’m not alone anymore. I have a daughter to consider. I have to think of her as well. I think it’s just best to stay on my own.”
“I think you’re a bloody fool,” he muttered.
“There were a few that didn’t work out, but then there was Niall.” She took a sip of her cider. “I thought he was such a great guy. I thought he was the one. But you never liked him.”
“To be fair, I’ve never liked any o
f your boyfriends.” Aidan reminded her.
A sharp laugh escaped her. “Ha! That’s true. Guess you always had better radar than I did.”
“Nah.” His eyes flickered away, down to the table, then somewhere over her shoulder. “Just never thought any of them were worthy of ya.”
“And you were right,” she said, coming back to her original point. “And the last one was the worst of all.” She shuddered as she recalled the dark, angry look on Niall’s face the night before. “Look, it’s obvious I’m not cut out for dating, or relationships.”
“That’s such crap,” he said, sitting back in his seat. “You haven’t even gone on a date in forever, so I’m not buyin’, sorry. You’re just scared, and understandably so.”
“Every relationship I’ve had ended badly.”
“Show me a relationship that ends nicely. They don’t. That’s why they end.”
“Aidan, I’m turning thirty. Both of my older sisters were married by twenty-seven. Me, my teens and twenties are littered with losers.” She leaned in and said firmly, “The connecting factor with all those losers is me. I’m just being honest with myself.”
“No. No.” He shook his head. “You’re a beautiful, caring, fantastic woman. And when you have a heart as big and caring as yours is, some guys are going to try to take advantage. And they did.” He speared her with a sharp look. “Where’s this pity party coming from?”
She jolted and pulled her hands away. “It’s not a pity party,” she whispered.
“The hell it’s not.”
“Aidan…”
“It is. Stop it, before I throttle ya. Enough.” He shook his head hard, his jaw set. “Seeing Niall shook you up, I get that. But going further into hiding isn’t the answer.”
“I didn’t think that was what I’m doing. Or what I’d done already.” A light blush bloomed on her freckled face as she considered it. “Is that what you’re saying I’ve done?”
“Well… yes,” he said. “Sorry, but it’s the truth. And now you want to burrow even deeper into your cave. And, dammit, I won’t let you.” His words were lightly teasing, meant to soften the weight of them. “Okay, that’s that, then. Right?”
“Actually… no. There’s more, Aidan.” Her voice pitched low and somber. “I need to ask something of you. And it’s a biggie.”
“Go.” He didn’t even blink. “I’m listening.”
“Here’s the thing…” Maura looked down into her glass and continued to watch the tiny bubbles settle around the rim on the surface of the cider, trying to piece together what she wanted to say. “I didn’t want any of this to sound like ‘woe is me’, I really didn’t. But yes, I plan to be on my own.” She swallowed hard, noting how Aidan watched her so intently. “And then I thought… well, you’re Chloe’s godfather, and you adore her, so at least she’ll have some kind of male role model in her life… that’s enough for me. And it’ll have to be enough for her. I need to ask you the biggest favor ever.”
He stared at her as if she were insane, but murmured, “Still listening.”
She grasped at the paper napkin on the table and started tearing at its edges as she went on. “I know it’s selfish of me to ask of you. To ask you to essentially be the man in Chloe’s life. But… what I’m asking is…” She cleared her throat as she felt her cheeks flush.
“Jaysus, woman,” he grumbled good-naturedly. “Out with it.”
“What I mean to say is—or ask you, rather—is would you be okay with being that involved in Chloe’s life? I don’t mean every day. I know you have your own life, but just…” Maura huffed out a frustrated breath. She could always say anything to Aidan. Why was this so hard? “She needs you. If she has you around, it’ll help down the line if… if Niall somehow works his way back into her life. I know I have most rights where she’s concerned, but I don’t really know if I can totally keep him away from her. So I just want her to have a good man around and, yes, I’m asking you to be that man.”
Aidan’s bright blue eyes locked on her, and the force of his stare jarred her. She wondered if she’d made him angry. It was such a strange, concentrated look on his face, she couldn’t tell.
“It’s a lot to ask, I know.” She rambled on, trying to diffuse the enormity of her request. “Maybe too much. You’ll want kids of your own someday and I—Christ, I’m so selfish. Know what? Forget it. I’ll—”
“I’m honored. And flattered. And relieved. Because you just made things very easy for us,” Aidan murmured. “Which gives my idea all the more merit.”
Something about the shift in his gaze made her gut start humming. She’d rarely seen such intensity from him. His whole demeanor had changed, and it made the hair on her arms prickle. “Ehm… what?”
He leaned across the table and reached for her hands, gripping them both tightly as he stared into her eyes. “You’re strong, Em, and I know that, even if you’re not really feelin’ it right now. But everyone needs help at times. And I can help you now.”
“I’m scared for my daughter,” she whispered and fresh tears sprang to her eyes.
“I know. I know you are.” He rubbed the tops of her hands with his thumbs, meant to soothe. “I’ve been thinking all day too, love. About you. You and Chloe. I came up with something that…” He cleared his throat, still caressing her hands. “You’re sitting here telling me you don’t want to meet someone new. And that you want me to be the regular man in Chloe’s life. Do I have all that right?”
She nodded, sniffing back her tears.
“Well… all that fits right in with the idea I came up with today.” He squeezed her hands as his eyes pinned hers. “Em… he scares me some, too. He’s violent. Any man who would hit a pregnant woman has no ethics, no boundaries. I don’t want Chloe around him, much less alone with him, any more than you do.”
She nodded again, vehemently this time. “That’s it. Exactly that.”
“I know, Em. So I found a way so Niall can’t get near Chloe, in any way. I’m willing to do something huge to make that happen. You up for it?”
Maura’s breath caught. The low, powerful tone of Aidan’s voice, the look in his eyes, even just his posture as he sat across from her… all so intense, and so sure. “Of course I’d do anything for her. But I dunno… you’re spookin’ me a bit.”
“I did some homework today. I knew in Ireland, the mother has all the rights where a child is concerned. But I found a loophole that would ensure Niall would be permanently out of Chloe’s orbit, no matter what he tries, forever.” Aidan let go of one of her hands to take a sip of his drink, then reached across the tabletop to grasp them both again. “It sounds cruel, and in most cases, it kind of is. But in this case, it definitely would work in your favor. In Chloe’s favor. Isn’t that what matters most?”
Maura knew that set of Aidan’s jaw—pure determination. He had that forceful look, the one he got before he did something either unbelievably risky or unbelievably brave. “Okay, I have to know. Tell me this magic secret.”
He looked into her eyes for a long beat, searching, before he said, “If we get married, he’ll never have access to her again. You don’t want a new man in your life, and I want to help you keep Chloe safe. So marry me, Em. Let’s get married. It’s the answer to everything.”
Chapter Four
‡
Aidan watched as Maura’s pretty lips parted in shock and her features froze. The color slowly drained from her freckled face, leaving it paler than usual. He didn’t move, just waited.
Finally she choked out, “Have you gone mad? You’re flippin’ mad!”
“No, I’m not. Listen to me.” He quickly told her about the research he’d done, and what would happen if he became Chloe’s adoptive father. “After that, you wouldn’t have to fight Niall alone. It’d be the both of us. With all the legal rights. He’d never have rights to her, ever. Don’t you see?”
“What I see is my best friend’s gone off the deep end,” she said, and tried to pull her hands out of
his.
But he gripped them tight, not releasing her, willing her to look into his eyes. “Em, you just gave me the whole bloody narrative about how you don’t ever want to date again. How ya want to be alone. Right? I was listening, heard every word ya said.”
She blinked and sputtered, “Well, sure, but—”
“And then you asked me to be the man in Chloe’s life, since ya plan to grow old alone, right?” The corners of his mouth curved up. “Which is very, very meaningful to me, by the way. I’m honored you think so highly of me as to even want that. Truly.”
She blushed gorgeously and nodded. “I do. I thought you knew that.”
“Well, this was more than usual. So… if you have no plans to ever get married anyway.” He pressed. “And you want me around more for Chloe’s sake, problem solved. We get married, I adopt Chloe, we become her legal parents, Niall has no claim and has to disappear again, end of story.”
“I—what? No!” she cried. “I asked you to be there for her a little more, not to give up your whole life for us! You really have lost your mind.”
“Really? Because it all makes total sense to me,” he said. “And give up my whole life? That’s a bit dramatic, don’t ya think?” He saw the consternation and disbelief in her eyes. He had to make her understand. “I wouldn’t be giving up my life, Em. I’d be helping my best friend and my goddaughter stay safe.”
She ripped her hands from his then. “It’s too much. You—you’re—No. No, Aidan.”
“No? Just like that?” He hadn’t expected her to reject him outright. It stung. “Why? Think about it, Em. It’s a good plan.”
“You’re going to want to get married someday!” she cried. “Like, for real!”
“I believe I just proposed marriage,” he said. The only woman I’ve ever wanted to marry is you.
“Don’t be cute. This—you—you’re ready to play house in the suburbs with us?” she said, eyes wild. “You hate the suburbs.”
“I grew up in ’em, Em.” He pointed out. “Not exactly alien territory.”
“You live in the city because you go out almost every night, and date different, gorgeous women all the time!” she said. “Now you want to suddenly play daddy to Chloe? Do you even realize the commitment you’d be making?”
Marrying His Best Friend Page 4