“How is that any different than what you just asked of me not five minutes ago?” he asked pointedly.
Her face flushed bright red. “I didn’t ask you to marry me and come live with us,” she said, her voice choked.
He willfully ignored the irrational sting her words caused. “No, you didn’t. But in light of what you just pronounced, and how I care about you and Chloe, and the research I did, and the fact that Niall is now a threat…” Aidan arched his brows. “Aye, it’s a bold, brash plan, but it covers all the bases.”
Maura shook her head. “I won’t let you tie yourself to us that way. You’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks in all the time I’ve known you. Because you don’t ever want to settle down, you like to play around and have fun!”
Her words sent a chill over him, making him still. “That’s what you think?”
“Of course!” she said. “That’s what everyone thinks.”
No. His heart rate started rising. You don’t get it at all. I hid it too well.
“You’re a very attractive man.” Maura went on, oblivious to the turmoil she’d set off inside him, “You’re kind, witty, charming. You make good money and have a good job. You’re lighthearted and fun to be around. Of course women flock to you. And you’ve never committed to one, not one of them. Know why?”
Of course I know why. He stared at her. Because none of them were you. Because I’ve been in love with you for as long as I’ve known you and you only see me as a friend. Because I’ve tried to find someone else, someone to help loosen your hold on me, but none of them held a bloody candle to you. Because you’re the only one I’ve ever truly wanted, and no other woman compares.
“I’ll tell you why,” Maura barreled on, utterly clueless. “Because you like to play the field, and you should. You’re young and free! That’s fine, good for you! You really willing to cut the fun short to play daddy now?”
“Yes.” He hissed. “Because Chloe’s safety matters more to me than going out and partying, dammit.”
“I love you for that, but you’re not hearin’ me. I won’t put on a sham marriage,” Maura said, her voice low and serious. “I won’t do that to Chloe. If I—if we—we’d have to act like a real couple.”
His blood rushed through his body, quick and hot. “We practically do already,” he bit out. “How many friends have said we’re like a married couple but without the sex? Hell, we’ve joked about that ourselves.” And it’s killed me every time.
“Yes, that’s true. But Aidan, sweetheart…” She stared at him, almost into him. “If I let you adopt my daughter, you’d have to really be her father… and my husband. It wouldn’t be just for a few months until Niall left us alone. I couldn’t do that to her.”
“Neither could I.”
“If we put all that in place for her, and act like a married couple and live together… that’d be for life. You couldn’t leave.”
“I never would,” he said, as if it were a solemn pledge. “I’m nothing like Niall, Maura. And you know it.”
“I do know it. That’s the problem. You’d stay with us forever.” She sighed, and her gaze turned sad. “Which is amazing, because you’re loyal and true and all the things a good man should be, which is why I love you so much. And why I’m so glad my daughter has you in her life.” Her eyes filled with tears. “But Aidan… I mean… if we got married, you’d live with me and Chloe. I’d only want her to see a good marriage. So you’d have to be a real husband, and that would mean you’d have to stop going out and dating. You’d have to be faithful to me—a woman you’re not in love with, or even attracted to. I know you’ve never thought of me that way.”
He nearly swallowed his tongue as her words rang in his head. A woman you’re not in love with. And she thought he wasn’t attracted to her?!? For the love of God… it’d all be funny if it wasn’t so insane. He’d been painfully successful in hiding his feelings and desires from her all these years; that was crystal clear. Something gripped him—determination, indignation, he wasn’t sure what—but dammit, it was time to set her straight. Maybe if he told her the truth, it would change her mind. She’d understand he wasn’t seeing this as the sacrifice she obviously thought it to be.
“You know that, eh?”
“Aye, I do.”
“Maura.” He cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and steeled himself. “Let me tell you—”
“No. I won’t hear any more of this.” She sighed again, shaking her head. “I love that you want to help me—us—this much, but you didn’t fully think it through. Yes, we’re best friends, and a base of true friendship usually does make for the best marriages… once those friends fall in love. But that’s not us. We love each other, but you’re not in love with me. So, no, I won’t marry you.”
Aidan’s heart thumped wildly in his chest as his mind raced, unsure of what to say or do now. Would she even believe him if he suddenly blurted out his feelings?
She leaned back and took a few long swallows of her cider. “Maybe I’ve been alone too long, because when it comes to men, I don’t really trust my judgement now. But I trust you, Aidan. You’re a good man. And I thank you for wanting to help Chloe and me. But you deserve more than… something like this. I won’t let you do it.”
He kept staring at her. She was confused and put off, and he was scared of making himself vulnerable, revealing his biggest secret. But it was time, long past time. He couldn’t wait until a trip to New York. He had to tell her the truth about how he felt right now, he had to risk it.
He’d seen the determined, almost unhinged look in Niall’s eyes last night. That man wasn’t making empty threats about staying around. Aidan needed to keep an eye on Maura, and they both had to keep Chloe safe from that lunatic. If they got married, they could keep Chloe safe. That was what mattered most. His feelings for Maura… well, he just had to finally tell her the truth, and whatever the fallout, he’d deal with it.
“Em. Maura… please listen to me. I’m serious, I need you to listen.” With another deep breath, he grasped her by the wrists this time and opened his mouth to speak.
“Well, well, look what we have here.”
Aidan and Maura looked up to see Niall standing there, leering down at them. As Aidan released her, he felt the blood pulse hot through his veins, his entire body on immediate alert.
“Did you follow us here?” she asked. “How the hell—”
“No, it’s just a lucky coincidence,” Niall said, grinning blandly.
What a load of shite. Aidan’s intuition whispered in his head. He totally followed us here. Probably scoping the house and Maura. Licks of flaming hot rage flared in his core.
“Aye, sure it is.” He stood up from the booth, getting right in Niall’s face.
“Back off. Or you’re gonna start a fight here?” Niall asked, almost a taunt.
“You better hope not,” Aidan said. “This is our local. We know half the people in here. They’d all cheer me on, not come to your aid.”
Maura’s hand shot out and grasped the back of Aidan’s shirt. “Don’t. He’s not worth it.”
Aidan held Niall’s gaze for a beat before saying, “As tempting as it is to just wipe the floor with ya, I have a better idea.” He gestured to the side of the booth he’d just vacated. “Why don’t you have a seat. Let’s talk.” Without waiting, he sat next to Maura. She scooted over to make room for him even as she gaped at him in obvious shock.
Niall nodded warily, then took the seat across from them. He clasped his hands on the tabletop as he eyed them. “What shall we talk about?”
“How about why you’ve suddenly reappeared after almost five years,” Aidan said, “with no warning and no good reason?”
“Wanting to see my daughter isn’t a good reason?” Niall asked.
“Not when ya never gave a shite before,” Maura said harshly.
Aidan squeezed her knee under the table, a request for her to hold back. “Niall. C’mon, man, why now? If
you have a good reason, why not just tell us?”
Niall paused, seeming to formulate his words. Janie, their server, reappeared to ask if anyone needed anything, and they ordered another round.
After she walked away, Niall said, “I’m engaged. I’m getting married. And Frannie—that’s my girl—well, she can’t have children of her own. So I thought—”
“You thought you’d just give her the one you created and abandoned five years ago to fill the gap?” Maura said, seething.
Niall blinked. “Well, no. Not when you say it like that.”
“That’s exactly what it sounds like from this end,” Maura said.
Aidan wanted to reach across, grab Niall by the back of his messy dark head, and slam his face into the wooden tabletop until he bled.
But he drew a deep breath and said, “I have to agree with Maura, mate. Hate to break it to ya, but Chloe isn’t a doll, or a game piece. You can’t just use her to play happy family for your girlfriend.”
“Are you mental?” Maura said, her voice rising.
“No,” Niall snapped. “Frannie desperately wants kids. I already have one. It’d all work out, for everyone, if you’d just be more compassionate.”
Maura started to laugh, but Aidan knew it was the tight, shrill laugh of his best friend being pushed over the line. He moved his arm up and around her shoulders, holding her tight to his side.
“There are so many things wrong with all that,” Maura said, “I don’t even know where to begin.” She looked up at Aidan. “Is he out of his mind? Or is it me?”
“It’s not you.” Aidan immediately assured her. He turned his gaze back to Niall. “You’ll have to find another way to appease your girlfriend. Chloe isn’t available. In fact, you’ll have nothing to do with her.”
“I’m her father,” Niall said. “I am. You two can throw around words all you want, but it doesn’t make that fact any less true. So I won’t be dismissed. I’m not going away. I want access to my daughter, and I’ll find a way to have it.”
Maura started to breathe a little faster. Aidan saw the rush of color to her face, felt the rigidity in her body as he held her. He didn’t blame her for getting upset; he was, too. He’d never wanted to hit someone so much in his entire life.
“You still drink as much as you started to once you found out I was pregnant?” she asked Niall evenly.
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “No. Back then, I was… extremely stressed out by the situation. I went a little off the rails. I’m more together now.”
“I don’t care how together you are,” Maura said. “Any man who could beat on the woman who’s carrying his child, then disappear? Not exactly a shining example of good character or judgement.”
“That was then.” Niall sniffed. “I’m different now. And Frannie wants a child. I can give her that.”
“You don’t even care about Chloe,” Maura ground out. “She’s just a trophy to you, an offering. But dammit, she’s a little girl.” Her voice broke, and her eyes got glassy. “She’s a sweet, beautiful little girl that I’ve worked hard to make a good life for, in spite of the fact that she never had a father.”
“And I… appreciate that,” Niall said. “But I’m back now. I want her to spend time with me and Frannie. We can make a family life for her, too.”
“No.” Maura spat. “No fecking way. You can’t just sweep in here and pick up where you left off—”
“Now, now, Maura,” Niall cautioned. “Temper, temper. Not very becoming.”
Maura gripped the table so hard her knuckles turned white.
“When’s the wedding?” Aidan asked.
The random question made Maura and Niall jolt as if interrupted.
“Who cares?” Maura sputtered in bewilderment.
“Her parents insisted on a long engagement,” Niall said over her. “We’re having a big, church wedding and a huge reception. Three days before Christmas.”
“Really.” Aidan looked down pointedly at Maura, and her gaze locked with his.
They knew that in Ireland, when one applied for a marriage certificate, it was a three month wait until it was granted and a couple could wed. It was now the end of May. There was more than enough time.
“Em…” he murmured. “Maura.” His lips lifted the tiniest bit. “Sweetheart…”
She stared at him for a long, heavy beat. He squeezed her shoulder.
With a deep breath, she sniffed back her tears and smiled.
A new, determined spark lit her eyes as she turned to Niall and said, “Your Christmas wedding sounds lovely. We wish you both well. Will you do the same for us? Aidan and I are getting married in September.”
Chapter Five
‡
Maura didn’t know what was more delicious; the look of delighted surprise and triumph in Aidan’s eyes, or the utter shock in Niall’s. It was a tough call.
“You are?” Niall finally said, looking from one of them to the other before down to her hand. Her plainly naked hand. “Couldn’t spring for a ring, son?”
“It’s at the jeweler,” Maura said, not missing a beat. “Not that it’s your business. It was too big. It’s being resized.”
“I went a little crazy with it, what can I say?” Aidan grinned and pulled her closer into his side. “I wanted nothing but the best for the best woman in the world.” He kissed her temple before looking back to Niall.
She gave him a mental gold star for that one. It seemed so real, the love and pride in his voice and gaze. He was clever, that was for sure.
Niall snorted a laugh out of his nose, but mumbled, “Congratulations.” He took a sip of his drink. “Truth is, I always thought you two were shagging anyway.”
Maura’s heart started pounding in her chest. Blood swirled and roared in her ears. He wasn’t that surprised by her news. And it was likely no one else would be either. She and Aidan had been attached for so long, plenty of people thought the same thing Niall did. The plan Aidan had hatched really did make sense, and would be easy to carry off. So why did she suddenly feel like she might faint?
Not wanting Niall to see through the ruse, she fought to appear calm and casual, just like Aidan. She tried to breathe slowly, and moved her now shaking hands off the table to her lap. What had she done?
“But I still want to see my daughter,” Niall said. “I told Frannie all about her.”
“Did ya now?” Aidan cocked his head, a look of puzzlement on his face. “You don’t know Chloe at all. What’d you tell your girl? That Chloe is… female? Little? Living with her mum? That’s about all ya know about her, from what I can figure.”
Niall’s face darkened. He had no rebuttal, because they all knew Aidan was right.
“I’ll get to know her.”
“No, you won’t.” Aidan shook his head, but his gaze stayed locked on his enemy. “You hit my girl once. I’m never going to give you the chance to do it again, to either of my girls.”
“That was just one time,” Niall said dismissively. “You’re both blowing it all out of proportion.”
“See, that’s where we differ on this. One time is all it takes for me to decide you’re a danger to women.” Aidan leaned in. “So I’m adopting Chloe. D’ya know what that means?”
Niall blinked. “What?”
“Look it up online,” Aidan suggested. He reached for his glass and lifted it in salute before taking a long gulp. “You’re done.”
“I think it’s time for you to go,” Maura said to Niall. “I’ve nothing left to say.”
“But—”
“But my lady said goodbye,” Aidan said forcefully. His posture was lazy, but his voice and gaze were like steel blades. “Go now, before I start that fight ya mentioned earlier. We were making more plans about our wedding, and you interrupted us.”
Niall swore under his breath, drank down half his glass, and slammed it down on the table.
He pointed a finger at Maura and warned, “I’m not going away. I will see her, and she will end up spendin
g half her time with Frannie and me.”
“Is that an official threat?” Maura asked. “I just want to know how to word it properly to the authorities.”
Shaking his head, Niall glared at them as he got up from the booth. He shoved through the crowded pub as he headed for the door.
Maura sank into Aidan’s side. Her whole body trembled now.
“Shhhh.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and held her close.
Her eyes closed as she drew shallow breaths. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Completely overwhelmed, she just tried to breathe.
As if he sensed that, Aidan held her close for a few minutes, one arm firm and strong around her shoulders, the other hand holding hers beneath the table, in her lap. His breath fanned warm on her forehead as they sat together.
“One time, my arse. We have to keep her safe,” Maura finally whispered. “This is the only way?”
“Short of moving her out of the country, aye,” Aidan said. “I think it’s the best way. Legal and clear.”
“It’s not fair to you.” Her voice broke, and the tears came.
She hated how easily the tears seemed to come over the past twenty-four hours. It made her feel like a spineless jellyfish.
She pulled her hand from his and swiped them away. “Married!”
“I’m the one who suggested it.” He reminded her. “You were just smart enough to go along with it. That was awesome, by the way.” He grinned and kissed her hair.
She sniffled hard, feeling energy seep from her like a balloon that’d been pricked. Yes, things could be worse. After all, she was marrying a man who did truly love her, and she knew that, or she never would’ve agreed to it. But Aidan wasn’t in love with her, or even sexually attracted to her. She was tying her best friend to an empty kind of life. She wasn’t a good person; she was a selfish, horrible one. If it wasn’t for Chloe…
“How are we… what are we going to tell everyone?” she said.
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