Marrying His Best Friend

by Jennifer Gracen

  “You should call your parents before you send that,” she scolded. “That’s no way for them to find out their son’s engaged. Seriously, Aidan.”

  His eyes held hers for a beat. “All right, wifey.” He put the text into his drafts, then dialed his parents’ number. As he waited, he told her, “Once this call’s done, I’m hitting send. And we’ll host a party next Sunday. And I’m payin’ for the whole thing, so don’t even start.” He drummed his fingers on the table as he waited for his ma to pick up the phone and waggled his brows at her.

  She just stared back at him. He saw several things in her slate blue eyes—surprise, unease… but also something lively. Despite her nerves about the whole thing, she was having fun with him, and with his offhanded idea. Compared to the way she’d paled and swerved in the jeweler’s, scaring him witless, the delight in her features now filled him with relief.

  *

  Later that night, Maura lay on the sofa with Chloe beside her. They watched telly, one of the silly American kiddie sitcoms that her daughter liked, as Maura waited for Aidan’s arrival. They wanted to tell Chloe the news together.

  What a whirlwind day it had been. After lunch, she and Aidan had gone back to the jeweler’s and chosen a ring. First she’d tried to pick a simple Claddagh ring, more appropriate given their friendship. He’d smiled, understood… and shot her down.

  “A real engagement ring, Em,” he asserted. “A big old diamond, the real deal. Stop being shy about it.”

  So she picked something small and simple, but he insisted on something a little more. “You deserve some sparkle,” he said.

  “I’m not a bloody Kardashian.” She griped.

  “And thank the heavens for that,” he said. “I couldn’t handle an arse like that, much less the attitude.”

  The saleswoman had burst out laughing.

  Maura’s heart beat faster than usual as her eyes travelled along the rows of rings. Aidan watched her like a hawk, and could tell when she saw one she actually really liked. He swooped in and claimed it. In the end, the irony was—like the lie she’d told Niall—the ring they picked together was too big for her finger and needed to be resized. Aidan would get it in a few days.

  When they left the store, Maura tried to offer him some money towards the ring, and he got angry. Like, really angry, deeply offended.

  “But we’re in this together.” She tried to explain, hating the stormy look on his face. “You’re already helping me beyond measure. You shouldn’t have to—”

  “I can buy my fiancée a ring,” he snapped. “And that’s what you are now.”

  She sighed and stopped him mid-stride, grabbing his arms and holding tight. “You’re going to a lot of trouble, and already through a lot of money, to make this fake marriage seem real. It’s not fair to you.”

  Something flashed in his eyes, sending an electric current down her spine.

  “Maura,” he said, his voice low and taut. “When I go in, I go all in. We’re going to be married. You’re my best friend and I love you. I want you to have a beautiful ring, because you deserve that.” He raked his hands through his hair. “You know… everything about this doesn’t have to be fake. Yes, it’s… we’re doing this for a specific purpose. But you keep saying it’s fake, over and over, and it… makes me feel like a fraud or something. I’m an honorable man, Maura. This may not have started out in the usual way, but—”

  “I know you’re an honorable man,” she said, her throat thickening with emotion. “You’re selfless, decent, and so honorable, Aidan. I adore you.”

  “Same here. So let me enjoy buying you a beautiful ring, okay?” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I saw your face when you saw that ring. You loved it. You lit up.”

  “I did.” She nodded. “I do.”

  “Good. I’m glad. Because if you’re going to wear my ring and be my wife, I want you to be happy.” His gaze held hers. “Not that a ring should be what makes you happy, of course. But it… delighted you. And that delighted me, to be able to get it for you. I can do things like that and enjoy it. You understand?”

  “I do.” She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. Thank you for wanting me to have something beautiful. And I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. That’s the last thing I want to do. You have to know that.”

  He nodded, but pulled away without returning her hug. “Let’s get to the Registry Office. You have to be back to work soon.”

  Now, relaxing on the couch, the events of the day swirling around in her head, Maura felt uneasy. Whenever she said something about their marriage being fake, it seemed like… like she hurt Aidan’s feelings. She wasn’t sure why. But she hadn’t imagined the flash of aggravation in his eyes when she’d offered money towards the ring, it was real. Was it just masculine pride? Something more?

  She thought she knew Aidan better than anyone in the world. But in just a few short days, things had shifted drastically. She was unsure of a lot of things right now… but she never thought she wouldn’t be able to read her best friend clearly. It unnerved her. She didn’t like it, at all.

  By the time the doorbell rang, she was climbing out of her skin from the overthinking and worrying. She flung it open; Aidan stood there with a large bouquet of mixed flowers. It made her stop in her tracks.

  “Hiya.” He withdrew one pink rose from the bouquet and handed it to her. “This is for you.”

  “Thanks.” She cocked her head in slight confusion, looking over the colorful blooms he still held. “Okaaaay…”

  He grinned and moved past her into the living room.

  “Hi, Uncle Ay!” piped Chloe, sitting up on the sofa.

  “Hello, Princess Chloe,” he said, kneeling in front of her, “these are for you.”

  Maura’s heart expanded about twenty sizes in her chest. She watched as her daughter took the bouquet from Aidan; it was so big, she had to hold it with both arms.

  “They’re so beautiful!” Chloe cried in utter delight. “I’ve never gotten such a big bunch of flowers before!”

  He smiled and rose to sit beside her. “I’m glad you like them.”

  “But what are they for?” she asked.

  He glanced up at Maura, then back down to Chloe. “Well… your mum and I have some big news to tell you. And I thought… that is, I wanted to…” He cleared his throat, and affectionately ran his hand over her long hair. “You’re very important to me, Chloe. You know that, right?”

  The little girl nodded.

  Overcome with emotion, Maura came over and took the flowers from her, placing them on the sofa next to her before sitting on the floor at Chloe’s feet. “Sweetheart…” Maura took Chloe’s tiny hands in hers. “We need to tell you something. Aidan and I are going to be married.”

  Chloe gasped and looked from one to the other, her eyes lit with excitement. “You are?”

  Maura nodded. “You’re all right with that?”

  “Yes!” Chloe cried. “Yes! There’s going to be a wedding?”

  “Aye,” Aidan said, relief radiating from him in waves.

  “And I’ll get to wear a big fancy dress?” Chloe asked.

  Maura and Aidan both laughed. “Yes,” she said. “Glad to see you have your priorities in order.”

  Chloe looked up at Aidan. “So… you love my mummy?”

  “Very much,” he said softly.

  Something in his tone made Maura’s heart melt. From the timbre of his voice and the look on his face, she could almost believe he really was in love with her. God, he was good at this. It was the damnedest thing.

  “And when I marry your mum,” he continued, “I’m going to become your dad. Is that… will that be all right with you?”

  Oh God. Maura’s heart leapt into her throat at the vulnerability she saw on his face now. She held her breath, praying Chloe would say something positive, or at least something nice.

  “Yes!” Chloe threw herself into his lap and hugged him tight. “My wish came true,” she s
aid against his neck. “I always wanted you to be my daddy. I prayed for it.”

  Maura clapped her hands over her mouth to hold back a sob.

  Aidan’s eyes closed as his arms went around Chloe to hug her back. His lips pressed tightly together; Maura didn’t know if he could speak. When his eyes opened and settled on her, glassy and filled with stark emotion, Maura felt her own eyes fill with tears.

  “Chloe,” he said, his voice thick, “I didn’t know that. That’s… incredible.”

  “I thought maybe Mummy heard me telling my stuffed animals the other night at bedtime and told you,” she said. “And that’s why you’re getting married now.”

  Maura’s heart felt lodged in her throat. She’d had no idea.

  “I love you, princess,” he said quietly, still holding her. “I’ll try to be the best daddy in the world, because that’s what you deserve. I’ll take care of you…” His voice trailed off. He sniffed hard and cleared his throat, and Maura saw that his eyes shone. “You’re the best little girl I know, Chloe. You’re a wee love, you are. I’m going to be a lucky dad.”

  “No, I’m lucky, because I finally get a dad!” Chloe pulled back, smiling as she made herself comfortable on Aidan’s lap. “When’s the wedding, Mummy? What color dress can I wear? Is it going to be a big wedding, with lots of people? Do I get to walk up the aisle with you, Mummy? Can I carry flowers?”

  She fired off excited questions as Aidan and Maura gazed at each other. Tears rolled down Maura’s cheeks, and didn’t even bother to wipe them away.

  Chapter Eight

  ‡

  Aidan gazed down at the little girl who’d just fallen asleep in her wee bed. Her words from earlier went through his head for the hundredth time, and he wondered if they’d ever lose their power over him. Likely not. Hearing a sweet little girl tell you she’d prayed for you to be her father wasn’t something that would ever lose its magic.

  Maura turned off the overhead light, casting the room into darkness. “C’mon,” she whispered to him.

  But he didn’t move. He stood over the bed, staring down at Chloe. Holy mother of God, she’d prayed for him to be her father. Him. The magnitude of that made his insides tremble. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. He swore to her. I’ll protect you, care for you, and be the best father I can. I’ll learn how, princess… I promise. For your sake, and your mother’s.

  “Aidan.” Maura’s whisper was more insistent. “C’mon!”

  He leaned down to drop a feather light kiss on Chloe’s head, then left the room.

  “Did you know?” he asked Maura as they stepped into the hall together.

  “Did I know what?”

  “That she… her wish. About me.”

  “No. I was as stunned as you.” Maura shook her head in slow astonishment.

  “She’s something else,” he said. “I’ll do right by her, Em. I swear.”

  “I know you will.” Maura’s hand lifted to touch his cheek. “If I didn’t think you would, I never would’ve agreed to any of it.”

  His chest tight, he stared into her eyes. “I don’t want to fail her. Or you.”

  “Oh, Aidan. You won’t. Because you’re the one man I’ve always been able to count on,” she said. “Other than my dad.” She smiled softly. “He would’ve liked you, I think. You’d have got on well. Both of you sitting ’round, having pints and teasing me together, I bet.”

  “I wish I’d met him.” Overcome with emotion, he pulled Maura into his arms and held on. “She floored me tonight, your girl. Jesus Christ.”

  “I know. Me, too.” Her arms slowly slid around his waist to return the hug, and her head dropped onto his shoulder. “I never knew she wanted a dad so much. I mean, she’s asked me questions about what happened to hers, and I told her a few vague things. But she never… I didn’t know she wished for you.”

  “I almost fell off the sofa when she said that.”

  “I thought you were going to cry.”

  “Me, too,” he admitted. “It was, ehm… powerful. And unexpected, to be sure.”

  Maura rubbed his back and released a long sigh. “I’m just glad she’s on board with it, much less so happy. Definitely makes this all easier, doesn’t it.”

  “Aye.” The feel of Maura’s body pressed to his, warm and soft against him… the flood of heavy emotions that had him in its grip… Aidan felt off balance, like he was swimming in a sea of currents and waves that kept knocking him around. He held her tighter, needing her presence to ground him. “I hope so.”

  “You’re going to be a great dad,” Maura whispered against his neck. “Don’t worry. With all the things I’m worried about, that’s the one thing I’m not.”

  The feel of her breath, a hot flutter of air, made his skin tingle. “I’ll do my best,” he whispered back gruffly. “I promise you that.”

  She nodded and caressed him again, long sweeps of her hand up and down his back, like he’d done to comfort her. “And I’ll do my best to, ehm…” She pulled back enough to look into his eyes. “I’ll do my best to be a good wife to you. A good partner.”

  “You’re already a good partner, that’s why I wanted to help you and Chloe in the first place.”

  “But I mean like… a real wife.” Her fingers played with the hair at the back of his neck, sifting through it. “You deserve to have everything, too, Aidan. Maybe, in time, we can… I mean, if you want to try…” Her cheeks flamed, straight to her hairline, and her eyes slipped closed in embarrassment.

  Sweet mother of God, she was talking about sex. Grasping her meaning, his blood started to pulse in his veins. He wanted to sink into her and let himself drown. Shifting, he lowered his mouth onto hers, needing to feel her, taste her, consume her into him. She didn’t withdraw, but he felt the awkward hesitation in her body, the rigidity in her muscles. His hands threaded through her soft hair to hold her head, guiding her into his rhythm, tenderly rubbing her scalp as he kissed her in an effort to help her relax.

  “Remember we said we needed to practice?” he asked, his lips brushing against hers. “Get more used to kissing each other, so it’ll seem natural to others?”

  She nodded, a barely perceptible tip of her head.

  “Maybe… we could do that now,” he whispered. He brushed her hair back from her eyes, which were locked on his. “But not out here in the hallway.”

  Her face flushed bright pink, but she took him by the hand and led him down the short corridor to her bedroom.

  He hadn’t been in her room many times; there’d been no reason for it. His gaze briefly scanned his surroundings—cream colored walls, cream and pale pink bedding on a full-sized mattress, a light wood dresser beside a closet. A few framed photos sat atop the dresser, and he saw that one included him. His eyes went back to her as she closed the door and crossed to the bed, but didn’t sit. She stood there wringing her hands.

  “Talk to me,” he said gently.

  “A few days ago, you were just my friend,” she blurted out. “Now… all this… I don’t know which end is up, y’know? I’m jumpy. I’m sorry for that.”

  Turning her words over in his mind, he didn’t move towards her, just shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Let me ask ya something. At the base, here… we have each other as friends, right? As we always have.”

  Her eyes, rounded with ambivalence, met his and held as she nodded.

  “That hasn’t changed. So… is it the physical part that’s freaking you out?”

  Her face flushed anew, but she only shrugged.

  “Dammit, love, just talk to me,” he pleaded. “I’m still me, we’re still us.”

  “No, we’re not,” she said. “That’s just it. We feel different.” Her fingers did loops amongst themselves, frenetic in their fidgeting. “I count on you, Aidan. On your friendship, on your… presence. Just your presence in my life, which yes, has been a constant. And things have shifted overnight.” Her eyes were wild, slightly frantic. “Yes, the physical part is throwin
g me. I didn’t think you thought of me like that! And I hadn’t really thought of you like that. I mean, I’ve always thought you’re handsome, but I… distanced that part of it from… really pervading. But now… you kiss me and I…”

  His heart started a heavier, thicker pounding in his chest. “You what?”

  “I…” Her V-neck top allowed him to see how the hot pink flare in her cheeks spread down to her chest. “I like it,” she whispered, her eyes flickering away. “And I’m so damned awkward, which makes me feel like a muppet. I haven’t been with anyone for so long and I—”

  “Shhh, stop.” He went to her and held her face in his hands. “You don’t have to be nervous. It’s just me, Em. We’ll take it slow. As slow as you want. If you want.”

  Her eyes locked with his. “I do want. That’s the thing. I just… Good lord, I’m so awkward all of a sudden.” She straightened her shoulders and said, “The sex part. That’s what we’re both talking about, aye? You want that too? Just to be clear.”

  His heart lurched and he couldn’t help but grin. “Yes, I do.” If you only knew how much.

  “Can I just ask—I have to know—since when? I’m so curious, I have questions…” She backed away from him. “Tell me some things.”

  He wanted to tell her a million things. He wanted to tell her not only how much he loved her, but how deeply he was in love with her. How the idea of marrying her and adopting Chloe had him more excited and happy than anything had made him in a very long time, maybe ever. How over the years, he’d dreamed about making love with her so many times, in so many ways. But more than anything, he wanted to take that wild look of anxiety out of her eyes and replace it with something sure.