Lady Sings the Blues

by Sarah Zolton Arthur

  “Darlin’,” I whisper into her hair.

  That’s all it takes for her to break, tears well and fall freely down her rosy cheeks. Then for the first time in seven weeks, my lips find hers, their home. She’s so beautiful. My arms stay locked around her shoulders even as I pull her away to allow Chaos to gently set Livvy inside the cab.

  “Liv?” Elise calls to her. But Liv won’t take her eyes off Chaos.

  “He’s got her. Let him take care of her. You’ll see her back home at the compound, yeah?” I end that last statement waitin’ on his reply.

  Elise squeezes me tighter when he nods.

  “Yeah.” Chaos says, and nods a second time before roundin’ the hood to fold himself behind the steering wheel.

  We let them go, me movin’ a shakin’ Elise to my bike and lift to plant her on the back.

  “Someone will get your stuff from Liv’s. We’re headin’ home now.”

  ***

  Not sure what just happened. I woke to Elise’s mouth wrapped around my cock, suckin’ me hard. And this, after spendin’ the night makin’ love until we passed out from exhaustion. Seven weeks apart, we deserved our time to reconnect.

  My balls pulled tight and I was about to let loose a fuckin’ great orgasm when out of nowhere, she threw her hand over her mouth, and stumbled off the bed. She ran to the bathroom barely makin’ it to the toilet before the retching began.

  Elise groans in pain when I fall behind her to hold her hair back. The sound just about rips my heart out. And she keeps spillin’ her guts into the commode until there’s nothing left but dry heaves.

  Fuck.

  She’s gray with sweat beading along her temples, dew-dampened skin over the rest of her face.

  “Baby girl, you feel sick or you think you ate somethin’ bad?”

  “Neither,” she says. Grabbing my hand, she pulls me to sit next to her so our backs rest against the bathroom wall tiles where she lays me out. “Beau, baby, I have to tell you something.”

  I freeze.

  Think my heart might’ve just stopped. “Go on,” I prod.

  “Seven weeks ago, Beau…” she breaths in a deep breath and lets it out slowly before she continues. “Seven weeks ago you took me to Chicago and gave me a proper goodbye, but you don’t bother with condoms.”

  What the fuck?

  “Are you tellin’ me you’re carryin’ my baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re havin’ my baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m gonna be a daddy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Ho-ly shit!”

  “Beau,” she starts on me. And I know I should probably handle this differently, but shit, she just told me she’s havin’ my baby. I shove up off the floor and run out of our bedroom into the hall.

  Still buck-ass naked, I shout down the hallway to anyone who’s close enough to hear me. “I’m gonna be a fuckin’ father!” To that there comes at me the hoots and hollers of congratulations from my brothers.

  Elise sits on the bed, my T-shirt draped over her newly pregnant body, knees bent, her chin resting on those bent knees, her feet crossed at the ankles. “So you aren’t mad?” she asks me.

  Really?

  “Mad? Darlin’ this is all I’ve ever wanted with you. You wearin’ my diamond, my baby in your belly. Bit unconventional, but now I just got to get my gold band around your finger, and we’ll be set. Beau and Elise Hollister livin’ the life we were meant to live. Raisin’ the kid we were meant to raise. This is so damn good, baby girl.”

  “I’m scared to death. Yeah, we both know I was young, but Jesus, Beau. I wanted that baby.”

  “Know you did. I wanted it too, ‘cuz it was a part of you.” Elise don’t look me in the eye as I slide on the bed next to her. She don’t as I lift and deposit her onto my lap to wrap my arms around her, and kiss her cheek either.

  “What if…” The pain in her voice slices through me. I know where she’s about to go.

  “This baby’s gonna be fine, darlin’. We’ll make sure you get to all your doctor’s appointments, I’ll keep you fed healthy. We got this.”

  “You can’t guarantee that. You can’t promise we’ll have a healthy baby at the end of it all.”

  “Nobody can make that promise, Elise. I won’t even try. But I know it has to work out for us this time.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I have faith. It’s our second chance to get it right. In what? Thirty-three short weeks, we’re gonna be holdin’ a sweeter than anything you’ve seen in your life baby girl who looks just like her mama.”

  “Or a baby boy the spitting image of his daddy.”

  “Speaking of gettin’ my girl fed properly.” I ignore her wishful thinking. “Throw some pants on so your man can cook for you.”

  “Food? I don’t know… I’ll just end up puking it back into the toilet.”

  “Which is why I gotta get you fed again. Please don’t argue. Your stomach feel queasy now?” She shakes her head in the negative. “Then you need to make up for what you just got rid of.” And that, as they say, is that.

  Me in my jeans I’d slipped back on and her in my shirt and a tight pair of yoga pants, I lead her by the hand down the hall through the entry into the main common. ‘Course I don’t expect it, but damn does it feel good when my brothers begin slapping my back and hugging Elise, giving us both their sincere congratulations.

  Then Duke clomps in the room from his office, boots hitting hard against the wood flooring, he keeps coming on a direct trajectory until he stops in front of us. “So you’re giving us a legacy.”

  “Yes?” Elise hesitantly answers.

  With a headshake, he lights the cigarette hangin’ from between his lips and talks around it. “A second generation Lord.” Then he turns his head to blow the smoke away from Elise’s face, and offers me one. I want one too, but wave it away because I should probably quit, what with the baby on the way.

  “Oh, well then, yes.”

  Duke’s next words belie the badass mountain of a man speakin’ them and reiterates the reason I joined the club. “Can’t tell you how special…my Dawna, she couldn’t have babies. Radiation killed her eggs as a kid. Married her knowing we’d never have that. Don’t regret it, but still, yours’ll be the first legacy to be born to this club in years. Pleased as punch it’s you and Boss giving it to us.”

  “Must admit, I’m pleased as punch to be givin’ it,” I tell him.

  “Too right, know you are, brother.” He pulls me with one hand to the back of my neck into a big hug and pats my back usin’ his other. And he tells me in his unusually low, gravelly drawl, “Congratulation. Dawna would be so happy.” Then back to his normally booming gravelly drawl, he claps his hands together. “Little prince or princess of the Brimstone Lords. God help ya, brother, you get a girl. Might need a deal with the devil if she looks anything like her mama. Beauty like that…when it’s good to have your brothers. The pricks you can’t get, we’ll have your back.”

  “Forget looks like her mama, heaven help you she acts like her.” Chaos comes out of the kitchen carrying a tray of food. Haven’t seen him look this light in ages.

  “Was thinking it, just didn’t want to spoil the moment for ‘em,” Duke tells him, which makes me laugh. Elise says nothing.

  “Ah, Elise doesn’t mind, do you sweetheart? Just good natured ribbing. She knows I think the world of her.”

  “You’re lucky I like you,” she replies with her own light-hearted dig. “Speaking of people I like, how’s Liv? Where’s Liv?”

  “She’s good, hospital only kept her a few hours. Told her to rest. Resting now. Made us some food. She’s just not ready to see everyone yet.” Then he shifts the tray to get a better hold. “Blood won’t talk to me.”

  “Did you expect anything less?” Duke asks.

  “Not really, but it’s, well, Liv’ll need his support. He wouldn’t talk to her at the hospital. Just stayed long enough to see her alright and
took off. He wants to get shitty with me, I can take it like a man. But I can’t let his stink touch Livvy. And she wants to see him, she’s been asking.”

  “Give it time.” I offer. It ain’t much, but it’s somethin’. “He’ll come around. Your sister and one of your best friends? Then to find out it started years ago. He’ll be lickin’ those wounds for a while. You just stick to carin’ for her, get her mind healthy.”

  “Plan on it.”

  “If she wants to talk, even just about stupid girl stuff, I’m here.” Elise throws her two cents in.

  “I’ll remind her.”

  “I mean it, any time.” Elise then sinks back against me. “What about Crass?”

  Pitying stares aim at her, including mine. I know how close the two of ‘em got. I been tryin’ to shield her from the blow for as long as possible. Guess it stopped bein’ possible.

  “Got him up in trauma center at Rush. His brothers’ been keeping us informed since they found him.” Duke shakes his head. “Sorry, Elise. Blunt force trauma. He’s been placed in a medically induced coma to hopefully help him heal.”

  I tuck her in close under my arm.

  Her eyes begin to water. “Then I have to go to him. Beau, you have to let me go to him.”

  The pleading in her voice makes me feel like shit for denyin’ her. But my hands are tied. “Sorry darlin’, can’t do that. Houdini’s still out there, and you carryin’ our baby.” I bend my head to kiss the corner of her mouth. “I want him safe just like you, but I’m selfish and need for this baby to be safe. You need to help Liv recover here and tend to our family growin’ inside you. Crass’ll understand. I know. And you know it, too.”

  “It just doesn’t feel right.” She hangs her head.

  I know it don’t. Especially not to someone with as big a heart as Elise. Crass was all business when it came to the women, but Livvy’s updates made me feel as if he’d really put himself in to the big brother role for those two. Although Liv has Blood, Elise has no one. So I know she’s feelin’ this deep. But again, no matter how deep she feels him, we’ve got us a little one to protect now, and I damn well intend on protecting her.

  “Get that food back to your woman before it gets cold,” I tell Chaos, and don’t miss the smirk he shoots my way at the use of ‘your woman’ as he heads toward the back rooms. Of anybody here, I know how good that one feels. With Elise under my arm, I start for the kitchen again. “Come on, gotta get my baby mama fed.”

  “I hate to disappoint you, but baby mamas don’t wear their man’s ring. I have a diamond on my left finger that says I’m more than a baby mama.”

  Damn she’s cute when she’s feisty. She’s cute when she’s right. My woman is just plain cute. And I’m one lucky son of a bitch.

  Depositing her on a bar stool, I go to the fridge and grab out a package of bacon, cheddar cheese, a tomato and lettuce. BLT with cheese’ll be good for my pregnant woman. Usin’ all the food groups.

  Then from one shelf lower I grab a bag of raw broccoli cuts and a dill dip. Setting my haul on the counter, I open the cupboard for the bread and a can of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles.

  The smell of fryin’ bacon draws several of the brothers into the kitchen, so I set Scotch to work slicing tomato and Sneak, toastin’ bread.

  “Trisha’s out in the common talking with Hannah.” Sneak rambles while pushin’ down the toast into the toaster. Hannah’s one of the hot mamas who lives here on a semi-permanent basis. “Just wanna say thanks a lot, brother.”

  “What’d I do?” Flippin’ the bacon like the boss I am, I look over my shoulder at him.

  “Knocked up your woman. That’s whatcha did. Got lucky Trish didn’t want babies until other old ladies in the club started popping out kids. She didn’t wanna be the only one not partying and wanted our kids to have cousins, shit that woman comes up with. God dammed pain in my ass is what she is.” Four slices of toast pop from the toaster. Sneak grabs them up and tosses the pieces on a paper plate, then he loads the toaster with four more slices of bread.

  “Anyway, she wanted our kid to have cousins to grow up with. And since there were no other old ladies popping out kids, I didn’t even have to think about it. Now that you knocked up Elise, she’s gonna be all over my shit. So thanks for that. You know I can’t say no to my woman. So now I’ll have to impregnate her and the Lords clubhouse goes from biker compound to fucking Romper Room daycare.”

  Scotch lays his knife down next to the slices of tomato, and pins me with a deadly serious glare. “Kids start taking over, Boss, I’m transferring charters. No offense, Lass,” he says to Elise.

  “He says that now.” She goads him. “But you all wait, he’s gonna fall head over heels for some woman and will be eating his words when she ends up preggers with a Scotsman’s baby.”

  “Curse you, woman,” Scotch growls back.

  We all laugh, Elise throwing her head back to really let loose. It’s a beautiful sound, and an even more beautiful sight.

  I’d be remiss to say Crass and Houdini ain’t perched right at the edge of all our thoughts. But bein’ here, right now, laughin’ and cookin’ with my brothers. The woman I’ve loved since I was eighteen on a stool in my club, wearing my T-shirt and my ring and giving me everything she’s giving me, waiting for that food we’re cooking, being here right now is abso-fucking-lutely perfect.

  26.

  Elise

  Standing in the bathroom, my legs lean against the vanity while I stare into the mirror trying to figure out what to do with the rat’s nest my hair has become. A couple thoughts hit me. What started out as lunch for Beau and I turned into two hours of food and conversation with several of his brothers and Trish had joined us. Trish who indeed got on Sneak’s shit telling him in no uncertain terms in front of God and everybody that since I was now with child, he’d better get to work knocking her up as well. My hand automatically goes to rub my yet nonexistent belly with that thought.

  Part of me wants this to be just us. For me and Beau alone to give the club a legacy, the prince or princess of the Brimstone Lords. But then, there’s another part which feels like our kid having other kids to grow up around would be a good thing. A really good thing.

  And as I think about it, forget about a shot of guilt, I get hit with a full forty ounce bottle of guilt for thinking happy thoughts when my friend Crass has been placed in a medically induced coma fighting for his life because he promised to protect mine. And I can’t even go up to see him. Why is my life worth more than his? I don’t have the answer to that except the brothers, including Crass, all think I am.

  Then there’s Livvy. My friend. My sister from another mister who was kidnapped and thrown inside a wooden box which had been nailed shut, secured around the perimeter via a metal chain, and lowered into the frigid water of Lake Michigan. The seals on the box were sufficient to keep the air pressure intact enough to withstand the box filling up with water immediately, but she would have drown if we hadn’t found her.

  She’d run out of air in those last split seconds. She had to hold her breath. My friend. My sister from another mister who recuperates in Chaos’s bed at this moment. Who still hasn’t left his room. Who hasn’t even told Chaos if she’s willing to talk with me. And I have no one to blame but myself.

  I started this.

  Whatever reason Houdini has to hate me, Beau or the memory of Logan, I started it the day I picked Logan Hollister. Hadley is dead. Liv could have died. Crass still might. My friends suffer needlessly, dragged into our mess because I had a crush on a cute boy.

  My eyes close to the sting of tears forming in them. But strong arms wrap around my waist, a nip to my shoulder and a kiss to my jaw. My eyes open to my badass biker resting his chin on the spot on my shoulder he’d just nipped. His eyes catch mine, twinkling with his love for me. So I push back into him, intent to soak up the warmth he radiates, and hope the push and the newly formed twinkle in my eyes shows him the same.

  “Carver got ordained,” he
says.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Carver. Got ordained. He went online, Church of Purple Snowflakes or something. I don’t know, all I know is it’s legal for him to marry us. And before you bust my balls, hear me out.”

  I nod subtly.

  “Right. First. We were plannin’ on gettin’ hitched anyway, and we were plannin’ on sooner than later until Houdini struck again. Now that we’re havin’ a baby, it needs to be sooner because when I take you to your doctor appointments it’s as your husband. Saw the ultrasound picture you’d stuffed behind the strap of your bra. Fell out when I was takin’ it off you. Didn’t know what it was, fell face down. I got distracted. Just picked it up, looked at it.”

  I reach up behind me to comb my fingers through his peanut butter locks. No bun, no hairband to encumber my movements. “I’d forgotten I stuffed it there, what with the kidnappings and all. I didn’t want Crass to see it because I didn’t want him to know before you.”

  “’Preciate it. What I don’t appreciate, it said Baby Manning.” In a sudden movement he flips me around and sets my bottom on vanity, then gently forces my chin up so he has my attention. “That baby, my baby, is a Hollister. Period. We’re a family. A unit. Won’t be long before we’re back in our home. Anyone livin’ under my roof lives there with the last name Hollister. Caveman, I know. You’ll deal. With me so far?”

  Again I nod. Less subtly, as the mood calls for.

  “Good. The next, well, the next is for you and me, but also for the boys, for Liv. For Tommy and Maryanne, and anyone connected with the club. We’ve had a rough patch. Time for some fun, to let off some steam. With Houdini still on the prowl. With Crass’s condition. With Livvy in kind of a bad place in her head, we all need a reason to celebrate. You agreein’ to a wedding is you givin’ that to them, all of ’em. Think you got it in you to give ’em that?”

  I might have given him shit about the Hollister name. I’m still me, I have to give him shit on principle alone, but what he said, about giving them a reason to celebrate? After everything they’ve done for me…