Freddie Mole, Lion Tamer

by Alexander McCall Smith

  Freddie really had very little to do. The lions knew their part exactly, and they immediately leapt up onto large metal stools, fixed the crowd with fierce glares, and growled in the most convincing way. As Freddie walked past him, Ripper let out a particularly vicious snarl and took a swipe at him. Many members of the crowd screamed when they saw this and one girl actually fainted – for a few seconds – but was quickly revived by ice cream. For his part, Freddie knew that Ripper was only acting – and this was confirmed by Ripper himself, who gave Freddie a friendly wink as he passed.

  The lions went through their paces. They roared and growled and slunk their way round the ring, and even had a small lion-fight among themselves. Freddie, of course, could see that this fight was entirely friendly – the lion version of a playful pillow fight – but nobody in the audience was to know that.

  When the lions had done their final tricks they scampered back to their home cages, leaving Freddie in the ring to take the applause. And that applause was very loud, “Bravo!” some shouted, which means Well done! while others shouted, “Bravissimo!” which means Very, very well done! Freddie bowed very politely to thank everybody for these compliments. Then he took a step back to bow again and he noticed something that he had missed in his excitement. Sitting in the cheap seats at the back of the tent was his father and … He stared into the crowd. Could it possibly be? Surely not.

  But it was. There was his father, and there, at his side, was … his mother.

  “Ma!” shouted Freddie, and waved.

  Freddie’s mother stood up in her seat and waved back. Then his father stood up and waved as well. All eyes in the crowd turned to stare at the two standing figures. People were a bit puzzled. Who were these people at the back who were standing up and waving?

  “It’s my father and mother!” shouted Freddie. “It’s them!”

  The crowd loved this, and people immediately began to clap Freddie’s parents. “I bet they’re brave too,” shouted a woman sitting nearby. Then a man at the front called out, “They should come and take a bow too! After all, they must have brought their son up to be brave – they deserve the credit for that!”

  This suggestion brought a chorus of approval. Although very modest people, Ted and Doris Mole were proud of their son, and this was his moment. So they made their way down the aisle between seats and entered the ring. Freddie rushed forward to meet them, flinging himself into his mother’s arms. This was the signal for the crowd to cheer even more loudly than ever before. “There’s a boy who loves his mother!” shouted somebody, and another yelled, “He looks just like his dad – just as handsome!”

  “You didn’t tell me you had become a lion tamer, my darling,” said Freddie’s mother. “I’m so proud of you – standing there like that with those fierce lions.”

  “To tell the truth, Ma,” whispered Freddie, “they’re not fierce at all. They just look it.”

  Ted Mole laughed. “Their teeth were frightening enough.”

  “False,” Freddie muttered. “False teeth, Dad. Just like Granny’s.”

  “Oh well,” said Ted Mole. “We all enjoyed it very much. And I’m so proud of you, son. I’m so proud I could burst.”

  After the crowd had left the tent, Freddie and his parents made their way out as well, but were stopped at the entrance by the ringmaster.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked as he stepped out in front of them.

  Freddie was worried. He thought that the ringmaster might perhaps feel that he was going to try to escape doing some chore, such as cleaning up after the crowd. He would not dream of doing that, of course, as he was a hard-working boy and would never dream of shirking any task.

  “I was just going to say goodbye to my parents,” said Freddie. “I was going to come back and pick up the rubbish – I promise I was.”

  The ringmaster laughed. “Oh, I didn’t think you were shirking, Freddie – anything but that. No, I just wanted to invite you and your parents …” and here he bowed politely to the Moles “… to join me in the office for a celebration. Champagne for your parents, Freddie, and a fizzy drink for you. Not quite as fizzy as champagne, perhaps, but fizzy nonetheless.”

  They accepted the invitation and accompanied the ringmaster to the van marked OFFICE. There they were invited to sit down while the ringmaster poured the champagne and the other fizzy drink. Then he raised his glass to propose a toast. “To our brave lion tamer,” he said. “To Freddie Mole.”

  Freddie thanked everybody, and then took a sip of his soft drink.

  “I’m really glad you’re back, Ma,” he said to his mother.

  “And I’m glad to be back,” Mrs Mole said. “I only arrived back yesterday – from Cape Horn. It was very rough out there, I’m afraid. We had very high seas.”

  “Well you’re back safely, Madam,” said the ringmaster. “I always say that dry land is far drier than the sea, would you not agree?”

  “I do,” said Mrs Mole. “There are very few people who would disagree with you about that.”

  “The sea is undoubtedly very wet,” said Ted Mole. “And when it’s rough, it’s rather like a great washing machine, I’ve always thought.”

  “I see,” said the ringmaster. “And by that I mean I see rather than I sea.”

  Freddie, being polite, laughed at this, and the ringmaster was very pleased. Now he turned to Freddie’s father and asked him how his washing machine repair business was doing. Ted Mole told him that it scraped along but that it never did all that well. The ringmaster nodded and looked very thoughtful at this, and he frowned when Ted told him that there were times when it was difficult to get customers to pay their bills once he had fixed their washing machine. “Very inconsiderate,” he said, shaking his head. “A hard-working man – such as yourself, sir, deserves better than that.”

  There was a silence, and then the ringmaster said, “I’ve had an idea.”

  Everybody looked at him, waiting for the idea to be revealed.

  “It’s a very good idea,” the ringmaster went on to say. “If you will permit me to tell you about it, I shall do so.”

  “Of course,” said Ted Mole.

  “Well,” said the ringmaster, “I must tell you what an excellent boy your Freddie is. He’s hard-working, polite, and ten times better than the last boy we had. No, in fact he’s twenty times better than him.”

  “Well done, son,” said Ted Mole. “Your Ma and I are proud of you.”

  “So you should be,” said the ringmaster. “And here’s my idea: many people who work in circuses, as you know, work there because their whole family does. So I wondered whether you would all like to join my circus. I have no son and eventually, when I retire, it will be necessary for the circus to be run by somebody else. I can think of no other person more suited for that task – not just yet, of course, but at some date in the future – than young Freddie here. I really cannot think of anybody better.”

  Freddie caught his breath. Had he heard that correctly? Sometimes you hear nice things because you want to hear them and your mind invents them. Had the ringmaster really said all that?

  The ringmaster now turned to Freddie’s mother. “You, Mrs Mole, would possibly like less … how shall I put it? … a less peripatetic job. Am I right?”

  Freddie looked puzzled. Peripatetic? It sounded such a nice word, but what on earth did it mean?

  Ted Mole saw his son’s puzzled expression. “‘Peripatetic’ means travelling around,” he whispered. “It’s a very good word.”

  Mrs Mole told the ringmaster that he was, indeed, right. “When we were down at Cape Horn,” she said, “and the ship was being tossed all over the place, I thought to myself: there must be easier ways of earning a living.”

  “I would give you a very fine caravan,” said the ringmaster. “There would be plenty of room for you and your children. And Freddie could go to school during the day, and do the shows at night. I could put his acts in at the beginning of the programme so that he woul
d be in bed by his proper bedtime.”

  “Very good,” said Ted Mole. “A regular bedtime is very important – even if you are a lion tamer.”

  “Precisely,” said the ringmaster.

  Freddie looked at his father. It all sounded like such a wonderful chance, but he knew, as all children know, that there are times when grown-ups sometimes just do not see how wonderful a chance may be. “Please say yes,” he whispered, so softly that almost nobody would be able to hear.

  His father did hear, though, and he turned for a quick whispered discussion with his wife. Then he turned back to face the ringmaster. “We accept,” he said. “As long as it’s all right with Freddie.”

  “Of course it is,” said Freddie quickly. “It’s the best decision you’ve ever made, Dad.”

  His father shook his head. “No, the best decision I ever made, son,” he said, “was to marry your Ma here.”

  That is just the sort of thing that wives like their husbands to say, and Mrs Mole was very pleased. “And the best decision I ever made was to say yes when you asked me,” she said.

  “All very satisfactory,” said the ringmaster. “So, when can you start?”

  “Tomorrow,” said Ted Mole. “I know somebody who wants to buy my washing machine repair business. I shall sell it to him first thing in the morning, and then we can pack up and come over.”

  “Even more satisfactory,” said the ringmaster. “But I haven’t mentioned your wages. This is what I shall pay you at the end of every month.” He scribbled a figure on a piece of paper and handed it to Freddie’s father. Ted Mole looked at it. His eyes opened wide.

  “That’s a lot of money,” he said. “You’re very generous.”

  “Hard work – and talent – deserve their reward,” said the ringmaster.

  The Mole Family settled into their new life very happily. Ted Mole soon proved to be extremely useful about the place – fixing things and making sure that everything worked smoothly. He even invented things that made circus life much easier – such as a way of putting the big tent up in half the normal time by using pulleys and winches. Mrs Mole took over the performing dogs, as the dog lady had married a famous mountaineer and she wanted to go off and climb mountains in India with him. The dogs loved their new trainer and together they invented all sorts of new tricks. Even the twins, although still tiny, found something to do. They became quite friendly with a tame wolf that the circus had, and so the ringmaster set up a sideshow at the entrance to the tent. This was a cage which had written on it ROMULUS AND REMA, THE TWO WILD BABIES OF ROME. The show consisted of the twins sitting in the cage with the wolf, who loved nuzzling them and licking their faces in an affectionate way. The twins loved this and every so often would howl like wolves, to the great amazement of the crowd that gathered around them.

  Now that they had more money, the Mole family were able to buy smart new clothes. Freddie was bought five pairs of socks, so he could change them nearly every day. He also saved a lot, putting his money into a piggy bank that the ringmaster gave him for his birthday. Ted bought a new suit and a red and white car with large headlights. Mrs Mole bought an armchair, a necklace of real pearls, and a whole shelf of books, as she loved reading stories about the sea. Everybody was much happier – not least because their work in the circus brought excitement and pleasure to so many people, and that was a very good thing. If you can make other people happier, then you become happier yourself. Everybody knows that.

  And what happened to the lions? Well, here’s an extraordinary story. The ringmaster had always wondered whether they would be better off in the wild, and one day he thought they should try to give them their freedom. So they sent the lions off to a game reserve in Africa, where they would be released to live an ordinary lion life.

  The lions did not like it. It was not just their false teeth that were the problem, it was the whole business of being a lion in the wild. The wild, the lions thought, can sometimes be just a bit too wild. So they ran back to the game reserve office every time they were left out on the plains. Eventually the game reserve said that it was clear that the lions would be happier back at the circus, and so they were returned. They were delighted, jumping all over Freddie and licking his face like a pack of playful dogs.

  And here’s another extraordinary story. A few years ago – I think it was last year – I found myself passing through a town that I had never visited before. I was on a train, and when the train drew out of the town I suddenly noticed that we were going past a field in which a circus was camped. I looked out of the window – it was raining and the glass had little rivers of water coursing down it, so I could not see very well. But I did spot a large tent, and I did notice a flag on top of it, and I did see a sign that read FREDDIE MOLE’S CIRCUS.

  I craned my neck to see more, but the train was gathering speed and the circus was disappearing behind us. After a few moments, the railway line curved away in the opposite direction and the circus was lost to view. But I saw it, and I was not mistaken about the sign and what it said. FREDDIE MOLE’S CIRCUS. Those three words, I thought, told a very big story.

  Also by Alexander McCall Smith

  Explosive Adventures

  Akimbo and the Snakes

  Akimbo and the Baboons

  Bloomsbury Publishing, London, Oxford, New York, New Delhi and Sydney

  First published in Great Britain in April 2016 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  50 Bedford Square, London WC1B 3DP

  www.bloomsbury.com

  Bloomsbury is a registered trademark of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  Text copyright © Alexander McCall Smith 2016

  Illustrations copyright © Kate Hindley 2016

  The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted

  All rights reserved

  No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  eISBN 978 1 4088 6583 5

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