I’d changed the sheets in his bedroom with a bright red face and then rushed around to find his washing machine, so I didn’t have to look at the incriminating evidence of what we’d done. I found the laundry room and was just starting the machine when I spotted John through the window. He was outside on the porch.
I stepped closer and inched the curtain aside. He was completely naked again and staring out at the lake behind the house. He moved with grace and lifted himself over the porch railing like he weighed nothing, shifted in mid-air, and landed softly as a bear before diving into the lake. My ex had never moved so smoothly. He was more bumbling bear. John was easily all apex predator.
He swam, coming up just to breathe and then dove under again. His dark fur looked black while wet and I couldn’t help but be awed as I watched him.
Eventually, I tore myself away from the window and finished the tasks I needed to do. I was dreading Mandy’s arrival. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t know if I could keep a lid on my emotions.
I made my way around the house, looking at everything to make sure it was done the way Mandy wanted it, and then settled in my room with the James Smith book I’d grabbed earlier. I tried to read, but knowing John was somewhere nearby was too distracting. I let the book fall over top of my face and groaned.
It felt like there was a battle raging between my brain and heart. I was the same Bunny who’d just managed to escape a bear shifter with a cheating problem and an ability to scream so loudly the house would shake. I didn’t want a man. I didn’t need a man. But, I couldn’t deny the feelings that were taking over. I wanted to talk to John. I wanted to argue with him, anything, just to spend time with him.
Not to mention the way my body reacted to the man. I’d never experienced anything like that. My ex hadn’t made me orgasm in years. John had done it in minutes.
I tossed the book aside and went to the bathroom. I started the water in the shower and turned it towards the cold side. I just needed to cool down.
“Or maybe drown yourself, you idiot.” I muttered as I stripped down and climbed under the cold spray.
If I’d acted like I had any decency and hadn’t slept with him, maybe things would be easier. They definitely would be a lot less awkward. I didn’t know where I stood. He kept saying things about me being his mate, but he wasn’t even talking to me anymore, so… Besides, he’d cheated on Mandy and she was perfect. I’d looked her up in my spare time. How could he cheat on a woman who looked like perfection? I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to hold his attention if a stunningly gorgeous woman like Mandy couldn’t. I couldn’t even hold my ex’s attention.
I got out of my shower and towel dried my hair. I left it down to curl naturally and the pulled my dress back on.
My stomach growled so I slunk downstairs to try to find something to eat, hopefully without running into John. It was a useless attempt, though. He was sitting at the table with a laptop in front of him, typing away, until I entered the room. Then, he snapped it closed and pulled out his phone.
I decided that two could play that game. If he was ignoring me, I could ignore him right back. I grabbed a bag of cherries out of the fridge, just to mess with him, and leaned against the counter to eat them. I ate around the pit slowly and noisily, then dropped them into the trashcan, while staring at him.
He just kept typing on his phone, ignoring me.
I lost my patience and tossed the cherries back into the fridge before going out to the porch and sitting in one of the deck chairs. “Stupid man.”
It seemed he was over me. That whole mate thing didn’t last very long. I angrily punched Star’s number on my phone and waited while it rang.
“Hello?”
“Star! I miss your couch.”
She laughed. “You’ve been gone for no time at all. Also, thanks for missing my couch and not me.”
“Anytime. How are things?”
She snorted. “How are things? What are we? Desperate Housewives? Tell me everything. I can hear in your voice that you have plenty to tell me.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I messed up big time.”
She paused. “Well? Get on with it.”
“Well, apparently Mandy Scott is moving in with her boyfriend whom she neglected to tell me about. I got here, broke into his house pretty much and had sex with him.” I said the last part super-fast, hoping she wouldn’t understand me.
“You what?” She screeched. “You had sex with a stranger? Your boss’s boyfriend?!”
“It was an accident. It just… happened. He says I’m his mate, but I don’t believe it.” I laughed. “Oh yeah, he’s a damn bear shifter!”
Star screamed, a scream that was ten times worse than her usual screech. “Oh, my god! That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”
“No! No, no, no! It’s not amazing. I told him I didn’t want him and now he’s over me. Mandy is still coming tomorrow to be with him.”
“It doesn’t work that way, Bunny. You can’t just ignore your mate and he can’t just be over you.”
“Well, it sure as hell seems that way.”
“Well, it’s not. Didn’t you learn anything about mates while living here?”
I groaned. “I guess not. I was too busy being cheated on by an asshole who swore every time he cheated that he simply thought she’d been his true mate. It was a big guessing game for him, so he said.”
“That’s not how it works. There’s no guessing involved, mates just know. Don’t you just feel crazy about him when you see him? Mates are just… well, there’s instant physical lust, sure, but you’re smitten… forever. It’s amazing that you’ve found your mate, Bunny.”
I sighed. “There’s no getting out of it?”
“Not at all. He’s your mate, babe. No matter what.”
“Well, shit.”
CHAPTER 10: John
Sleep that night was damn near impossible. I was still giving Bunny a cold shoulder, hoping she’d crack and talk to me, but she had disappeared. After her cherry eating seduction attempt in the kitchen, I thought she was warming up to me, but then she’d run off.
I tossed and turned, feeling like an asshole for not telling her goodnight. I should’ve at least said goodnight. She was my mate. I shouldn’t be treating her like this.
Then there was the fact that Mandy was going to be arriving relatively soon. I couldn’t wish her farther away if I tried. And I had tried. I’d also tried calling her time and time again, but she was the same old Mandy. She only got in touch with people when she wanted to.
The sun was almost up when I gave up on staying away. I padded down the hallway and tried Bunny’s door. It was locked. I swore and was about to move away when the door opened.
Bunny looked up at me and a frown turned her pouty lips down. “Is everything okay?”
I shrugged. “I hate my new sheets.”
“That’s why you came to my door?”
I shook my head and put my hand on the door to push it open farther. “No. I needed to see you.”
She immediately stepped back and let me into her room. She hadn’t switched her sheets and I was jealous of the worn flannel. The old sheets from my parents’ house and they were insanely soft.
Bunny stood in front of me wearing nothing but a large T-shirt. Her hair was piled on the top of her head in some strange blob with pieces falling out all over. She was absolutely stunning. Her body was tall and curved in places that made my mouth water. Soft. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way those delicious curves had felt so soft under me.
The T-shirt hid most of her curves and I found myself getting angry about the idea that it was some other man’s shirt. I wanted to pull it over her head and make sure that she only ever worn mine.
“What do you need?”
I stared into her eyes, shadowed in the dark room. “I need you. This is crazy, Bunny. I don’t want to do this shit with Mandy. I’ve tried calling her about a hundred times today. At the risk of you being
pissed at me, I am planning to tell her to stay in LA. She hasn’t answered, though.”
She walked over to the window and looked out of it. “I talked to a friend about this whole mate thing. Apparently, we’re stuck with each other.”
I felt like ripping my hair out. She made being my mate sound like a prison sentence. I tried to remain calm, though. “Yeah, basically.”
“I spent five years of my life with my ex-husband. Five years feeling like I was trapped in the relationship. Dealing with his bullshit and feeling like I had no other choice, no way out. When I finally saw my chance to leave, I did. I left with just the clothes I could fit in a suitcase. That still feels like yesterday. I don’t think I can do this with you. At least not now.”
“I don’t want to force you into anything, Bunny. I know you’re feeling what I’m feeling, though.”
“So, what? I’m attracted to you, sure. Insanely attracted. But, I want to be free. I can see the way you’re already looking at me. This shirt makes you sick, doesn’t it? You glared at it. You already want to control me.”
My claws came out and I held them behind my back. “I don’t want to control you. I just want a chance.”
She shook her head. “I can’t give you that. I’m sorry, John.”
I wanted to fight her on it. I wanted to scream at her. My bear was ready to come out and claim her so she was given no choice. That wasn’t me, though. That was the mate bond. I wouldn’t let it control me. If she wanted to go her separate way, then I had no choice but to get out of her way.
If she expected me to hang around with her and Mandy, she was crazy, though. I wasn’t going to torture myself. “Okay. I’m not staying here, though. I’ll fill Mandy in about why I’m gone. I won’t put your job at risk, don’t worry.”
Bunny fisted her hands at her sides and stepped towards me. “You don’t have to leave, John.”
“Yes! I do.” I stepped out of her room and forced a smile. “Good luck, Bunny.”
Leaving felt like I’d taken an icepick and driven it straight through my chest. Life could be so shitty at times. I’d gone my whole life being okay with not having a mate. Then when I find her and don’t want to live without her, she ends up being okay without me. It wasn’t like I didn’t understand what she was saying. I’d just hoped that the bond would be enough to outweigh her fears and objections.
I couldn’t seem to get the doubts out of my head, when I wasn’t overwhelmed by the pain of being rejected by my mate. I kept overthinking everything. My brothers would never believe it, if they could see me falling apart like this. I’d always been the calm, rational, level-headed one.
That guy was so far gone, I couldn’t even see him in my rearview mirror. He’d vanished. Replaced with some weak sonofabitch who couldn’t imagine life without a woman he’d just met. A woman who clearly wanted nothing to do with him.
I left messages with Alex, Michael, and my publisher, letting them know I was taking a few days off. I needed to clear my head. The only way I knew to do that was to spend some time in the sun, so far south that no one would ever expect to see a giant grizzly bear roaming around.
CHAPTER 11: Bunny
Six Months Later
“Tell Robin that Mr. Scott is expecting those papers on his desk by three P.M. sharp. No later or he’ll find someone else to take care of it.” I hung up the phone and sighed. I had no clue who I’d just yelled at, but I was pretty sure they didn’t deserve it.
That was the job, though. Ramsey Scott was intense. He had his fingers in a lot of pies and they were all sticky. I yelled at people more than I’d ever thought possible. Most days I barely had a voice by the time I got home. Which wasn’t exactly early.
I’d been working for him for three months and I’d already made myself at home in his business. I handled anything he needed me to, but I couldn’t help remembering the days I’d worked for Mandy fondly. She’d been an angel compared to her father, and that was saying something.
“Barbara!” Mr. Scott’s voice rang out from his office. That was another thing. He refused to call me Bunny.
I gritted my teeth and calmly walked into his office. “Yes, sir?”
Mandy was sitting in front of his desk with a couple of samples from the clothing line she was working on resting across her lap. “Bun! Hi!”
I tried to avoid a mouth kiss as she moved her face around mine, air kissing like a damn bird. “Hi, Mandy. How are you?”
Mr. Scott waved his hand at us in a way that said he couldn’t be bothered with whatever was happening around him. “Girls. I’m busy. Catch up on your own time. I need you to run these samples across town, Barbie. Take them by Tom’s. You know the place?”
I nodded. “Yes, sir. Anything else?”
He handed me his half-finished coffee. “Do something with this, would you?”
I took the samples in one hand and then the coffee in the other. “Sure. I’ll be back soon.”
“Be careful with those, would you? I only have the ones you’re holding.”
I forced a smile to Mandy. “Of course.”
“Oh, do me a favor. Pick up the new James Smith novel. Stop by the store that carries the latte that I like. They’ll have the book in the back. Tell them it’s for me.”
I nodded so damn much that I felt like a bobble head and then hurried to finish with my tasks. It was almost the weekend and I was eager to just sit at home and have girl talk phone convos with Star.
She’d been busy lately, getting to know her very own mate, so it was the first time we would get to really talk in a while. I couldn’t wait to catch up with her.
When Mandy arrived in Landing, Wyoming, she’d been surprised to find her boyfriend gone, but not too phased about it. When he’d called to end things with her, she’d thrown a hissy fit and refused to leave his home until she was done with her book. He hadn’t seemed to care, so I’d stayed in his home with Mandy for two months. I’d never felt such sheer torture. I didn’t even like to think about it. That was one of the many blessings of working for the Scotts.
Mandy liked me and offered me a job in LA with her. After two months of walking around John’s house, feeling like my skin didn’t even fit me right with him gone, I’d jumped at the chance. It paid incredibly well and she provided me with a home, a car, and a phone. After a month, though, it was obvious to Mr. Scott that I was being wasted with Mandy, so he’d offered me even more money and stolen me from her. Not that Mandy cared.
Being in LA was strange and didn’t fit me all that well, but I was so busy most days that I couldn’t think about anything. Not much, anyway.
After dropping off the samples, I crossed town and stopped at the bookstore Mandy liked. I had to argue with the manager for a few minutes before she finally relented. Then, instead of buying one copy, I bought two. I loved James Smith’s writing and I wouldn’t be able to talk to Star every minute of the entire weekend.
In the Uber on the way back to the office, I cracked my copy and started reading. Almost immediately, I felt my chest tighten. Something about the book felt darker than the other mysteries. I even asked the driver to circle the block twice so I could read more. I didn’t want to put it down. I thought about asking for another circle around, but I saw what time it was. Mr. Scott hated when I took too long.
I hopped out and ran into the building, feeling excited for the first time in forever. I was hungry for more of the book. I needed to know what was going to happen.
As expected, I found Mandy in Mr. Scott’s office, impatiently waiting for her book. She snatched it from me as soon as I walked into the office and frowned at me. “Jesus, did you take the stairs? Why are you breathing so hard?”
My tongue had grooves from me biting it.
Mr. Scott gave me his signature stinky face and wave me away with a gentle flick of his wrist. “Please, return Monday with a more urgent nature, Miss Brooks.”
I thought about correcting him on my name for the one millionth time, but decided it wasn’t
worth it. I just wanted to get out of there.
I hurried home to the tiny apartment that Mr. Scott supplied with the job. Once there, I stripped out of my professional clothes and pulled on a T-shirt and pajama bottoms. I had a date with Mr. James Smith and then, later on, with Star.
For the first weekend in forever, I felt almost normal again.
CHAPTER 12: John
I threw the newest draft across the room and felt a little better when it slammed into a lamp and shattered the glass shade. “It’s shit. Fucking hell. I’ve written better things while drunk off of my ass!”
My agent cut me a look. “That lamp was a Tiffany.”
“Look at me, not giving a shit about your lamp. You’ve read what the critics said about the latest book. It was darker, weirder than the rest of the books. They didn’t like it. Now, I’m trying to write something lighter again, but all I want to do is fucking kill off my main character.”
I walked over to the mess I’d made and snatched the draft off the ground. “This draft I wrote in a week. You want to know why? Because it ends at page one hundred with Thomas getting murdered.”
“Well, change it, John. I don’t know what else to tell you. You’re the damn writer.” Mark Stump shook his head. “You used to be a real pleasure to work with. Now, I can’t even have you over without expecting to have to replace something when you leave.”
I headed towards the door with the draft tucked under my arm. “Yeah, well, I’m darker now. Haven’t you heard?”
Without waiting for him to reply, I stormed out of his office and slammed the door behind me. It wasn’t his fault that I was completely stuck in a rut. It was my own. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t have some help getting myself into such a miserable state. I couldn’t stop thinking about one little hellion in particular.
I got in my rented truck and navigated my way through all the convertibles and electric cars that filled the streets. In Wyoming, I usually liked to ride with my windows down, but traffic was shit here and the air just wasn’t the same in LA.
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