Let it Be Me

by Jody Holford

  The batter she’d just poured sizzled in the pan. Megan’s eyes found his, and his stomach did that tumbling thing again.

  “We’re good. One day at a time and we’ll see where we end up.”

  He nodded but worried he’d end up making a bigger mess out of his and Charlie’s life. “Reece is emailing the flight information today. She bumped up his visit. He leaves next Wednesday. Can you sign into my email and get the details?”

  “Sure. You okay?”

  “She’s his mother. She has visitation rights. I’m fine.”

  Megan focused on flipping the pancakes, and Adam cursed himself for being short with her. Again. He downed another swallow of coffee, figuring he deserved the burning sensation in his throat. It was hard to think about Charlie being away without feeling irritated, but that wasn’t Megan’s fault.

  “I’ll check it after breakfast. For the two weeks he’s gone, I thought I’d stay with my brother or Stella.”

  Setting his now-empty cup on the counter, he stared at the back of her head. His heart seized, a hard, tight spasm. He rubbed at his chest and wondered what the hell was wrong with him. “What?”

  She emptied the pan and poured more batter. “You don’t need me.”

  The hell I don’t. “You’re not just watching Charlie anymore. You agreed to help me. You need to be here to do that.”

  She set the scoop down and turned to him. Her eyes shone with irritation. “I need to be here? While you work fifteen-hour days? Just to schedule some dates for you? Trust me, Adam. I can do that from anywhere. It’s not like you need interaction.”

  Fuck. Talk about hitting the target. Though he’d certainly wanted more interaction with her last night, she wasn’t wrong in her assessment. He glanced at the clock. It was after seven. She’d said she wasn’t mad about last night, but clearly she was pissed at him. He didn’t have time to sort it through with her now and didn’t like the way it made his skin itch to think of leaving while she was mad. “Can we talk about this later?” She turned back to the stove. He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “Please?”

  Opening his eyes in time to see her shrug, he took it as a yes and went to say goodbye to Charlie.

  …

  By mid-afternoon, Adam’s eyes were crossing. He preferred having meetings or lunches to break up the day so he wasn’t sitting at his desk for hours on end. But today was one of those days that called for logging some serious computer and paperwork time. When Declan walked through his door, it was nearly three p.m.

  “Hey. Your secretary said I could come in,” Declan said.

  Adam shared a secretary with three other account managers in the office. She was efficient and had the hots for his best friend. Most women did. Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt promoting his own bar, Dec sat down in one of the chairs in front of Adam’s desk.

  “You look like you need a break,” Dec said, his perma-smile in place.

  Adam wondered if he’d ever felt as relaxed as Declan always looked.

  “I do. What are you doing here?”

  “Had to stop by the bank. Thought I’d say hi. Since you’re too busy to do that yourself. You eat lunch yet?”

  Adam put down his pen and leaned back in his leather chair. Loosening his tie, he shook his head. “Nope. Forgot. No time. I have to get out of here by six-thirty tonight.”

  “Hot date?”

  Looking at the papers on his desk, Adam sat forward and shuffled a few of them into a folder. He felt Dec’s eyes on him.

  “Dude?”

  His head snapped up. “Dude? What are we, twelve?”

  “You’re the one going all red when I bring up a girl. Is it the hot nanny?”

  He nearly groaned out loud. Declan had no idea how right he was about Megan’s degree of hotness. He couldn’t imagine what having sex with her would be like if kissing her turned him into a bumbling idiot. Not that he planned on finding out. He’d always been able to focus on the bigger picture—to keep his goals firmly positioned in front of him. Straying from that tendency now would be bad for all of them.

  “She has a name. You know her name. Why can’t you use it?”

  “Because I like the way your tongue gets tied when I call her hot. Seriously, you have a date?”

  “Sort of.” He didn’t have time for this.

  “You sort of have a date? What the hell does that mean?”

  Adam didn’t want to talk about this at work. And he didn’t really want to talk about it with Declan, who went through women like Adam did numbers. And managed to stay friends with them all.

  “Just a woman I met online. Not a big deal. Just meeting for drinks.”

  “You join one of those dating sites?”

  Adam stood up. He needed some food or a cola or Megan’s mouth under his again. Fuck. He needed to go on that date and forget Megan knew how to kiss.

  “I did. I’ll tell you about it later. I have to get back to work.”

  Declan stood, and the air between them cooled considerably. “Yeah. Some other time then. Maybe when you have a twenty-minute block free in that schedule of yours.”

  He started for the door, and Adam shoved his hands through his hair. Great. Now he’d pissed off Dec, too. “Dec.”

  He turned around and faced Adam, thumbs in his pockets.

  “I’ll come by for a beer this weekend. One night after Charlie’s in bed, if Megan doesn’t mind. He’s going to see Reece for a couple of weeks, so I’d rather be around for bedtimes for the next bit.” Except tonight when he’d be on a date. He hadn’t even looked at the woman’s profile yet.

  “Shit. That’s a tough one. Long time for him to be away. I’m off Friday night, so unless the bar gets crazier than usual my staff can handle it.”

  “Friday. Sounds good.”

  “I give up getting laid to hang out with you, you better show up,” Declan said, pointing at him.

  Despite the fact that he wanted to tell Declan to keep his voice down, Adam grinned. “I’ll show up. And if I know you, you’ll still manage to hook up after I go.”

  Dec laughed. “You do know me. See ya, man.”

  He waved and walked out. Adam watched as he stopped by to talk to Sonja, the office administrator, on his way by. She blushed and laughed at something he said, making Adam shake his head. Dec had always been that way with women. No commitments. Other than the bar, nothing to tie him down. Yet he stayed in Brockton, settled and happy. Adam could do that. Find contentment. Checking his watch, he sighed. Maybe in about three hours, after he got some more work done.

  …

  When Adam arrived at the steakhouse, it was Friday-night-busy, which was strange on a Wednesday. He glanced around, saw several couples waiting on the padded benches in the lobby. Just as a hostess walked toward him, tight smile in place, someone touched his arm.

  “Adam?”

  He turned to see a woman, his height, standing beside him. “Elizabeth?”

  “Yes,” she said, offering him her hand.

  She was pretty, even if the way her hair was pulled back made her look severe. Like she was being stretched. Her smile was wide, and she had close set, heavily lined, dark eyes. For God’s sakes. Be open. How was he supposed to find someone to put up with him when he irritated himself? He couldn’t help but think of Megan’s face—striking without an ounce of makeup.

  “Do you want to grab a table? I asked, and the wait is about twenty-five minutes,” she said.

  If he made it home around eight, he’d still get to tuck Charlie in. “Why don’t we sit in the lounge?”

  “Sure.”

  The hostess had started speaking to a waitress, and they were looking at the seating chart when Adam approached the podium.

  “Hi,” he said.

  They both looked up and smiled warmly at him.

  “Hi. For two?”

  “Actually, would you mind if we sat in the lounge? We’re just going to grab drink.”

  “No problem. You can go ahead. There’s no wait
for that.”

  He thanked them and turned to find Elizabeth waiting right beside him. He gestured for her to go ahead of him.

  They found a two-seat table by the window. He helped her when she started to take off her thin coat.

  “Thank you. A gentleman. I like that.”

  His laugh was weak, mostly because he’d caught the scent of her perfume and his first thought was that she didn’t smell like Megan. All the more reason to make this date go well.

  “Don’t give points for that. It should be a given.”

  He liked the way her eyes softened when she looked at him. “That was a nice thing to say.”

  “Why don’t I grab us a couple of drinks? What would you like?”

  “White wine. Please.”

  She took her coat from his hands and hung it on the back of her chair while he made his way to the bar.

  Once he ordered, he checked his phone while he waited. As though she’d sensed him thinking about her, a text from Megan popped up.

  Megan: Hope she’s on time.

  Adam: She is. Are we giving bonus points for that or just deducting when they’re late?

  Megan: No bonus points. Punctuality is just common courtesy.

  He smiled.

  Adam: Agreed.

  “Here’s your drinks, sir,” the bartender said.

  Adam slipped his phone in his pocket and took the drinks. Elizabeth was looking at her phone when he returned. She glanced up when he sat down.

  “Sorry. I’m bidding on this awesome pair of heels,” she said, continuing to tap her fingers against the screen.

  He slid her wine across the table and took a sip of his cola. “You’re bidding on heels?”

  She set her phone down and grinned. “Yes. I’m addicted to bidding sites. I got a brand new, only worn once pair of Prada sling backs for fifty dollars. Prada.”

  He frowned at the idea of buying another man’s already worn shoes. Reece had been a brand name fanatic and hated that Adam shopped at everyday department stores. He tried to smile. “Sounds like a good deal.”

  Unease trickled across his skin, but he told himself to get a grip. People used the term “addicted” but didn’t really stop to think what they were actually saying. He knew he was a little oversensitive about the term, but there was a vast difference in the way she’d casually used it and what it could really mean. Did she just enjoy bidding websites, or did she need to bid on something the way his father needed a drink to get through the day? Adam knew all too well that addictions could vary. His ex-wife was so addicted to the limelight, she’d chosen it over her family.

  Her phone chimed, and her eyes darted to it. “Sorry, one sec.”

  Swallowing down the urge to leave, he sipped his drink and thought about the event he needed to attend this weekend. His firm had several local initiatives they took part in, and any prospective partners—associate or otherwise—were expected to find a way to involve themselves. Because Adam didn’t believe in false fronts, he’d chosen community programs that hit close to home for him. Kids Club was a local non-profit group that worked to help at-risk youth further their academic, social, athletic, and other goals. And achieve them.

  He should bring someone to the charity fundraising auction happening Saturday night. Elizabeth looked up as he was thinking this.

  “Got them,” she said.

  She turned her phone over but kept it on the table. Megan would definitely dock her marks for decorum. “So you’re an account manager? Is that totally boring?”

  His response got stuck in his throat because really, what the hell did he say to that? He ran his finger along the moisture on his glass.

  “Uh, I enjoy it. Very much. It’s challenging and keeps me pretty busy,” he said.

  Too busy to waste time with someone who is more worried about bidding on a pair of shoes than making a good impression.

  “I’m terrible with numbers. I used to work at a bank as a teller, but I hated it.”

  Why hadn’t he checked her profile? Because he’d been too busy making sure he had time to be here tonight. “Sorry, what do you do again?”

  She laughed, and the sound grated on his nerves. He wasn’t enjoying this, and not because he was still thinking about the way Megan’s lips tasted or the way her hair smelled, but because chemistry—to some degree—mattered. There was zero here.

  “I’m a florist, but I buy and sell things on the side.”

  “Buy and sell?”

  She pointed to her phone. “Yeah. Those shoes I just got for eleven dollars? I’ll sell them for like twenty on another site.”

  “Oh. That’s…interesting.”

  “People don’t think much of it, but you can make a decent amount of pocket change. Maybe I should ask you how to invest it for me.”

  “I actually work on corporate accounts, not personal.”

  Elizabeth took another sip of her wine. “I was joking anyway. You have a son?”

  “Yes. Charlie. He’s seven. He’s a great kid.”

  “Bet he looks just like you.”

  “He does in a lot of ways.”

  “There’s nothing here, is there?”

  He nearly choked at her words. Leaning forward, he lowered his voice. “Pardon?”

  She mimicked his position and gestured back and forth between them. “Us. No spark. No nothing. I’m game for a casual hook up because, not gonna lie, you’re hot. But long-term? Not so much.”

  His tongue wasn’t working properly, so he continued to stare.

  “I’m sorry. Was that too forward? It’s just, you know, you’re a busy guy. I’m busy. No point in pretending, right?”

  “No. Not too forward. And you’re right. No use pretending. But I think I’ll pass on the casual hookup.”

  Adam could hear Declan shouting what the fuck in his head. Casual had never been his thing. He wasn’t about to start now when it mattered more than any other time in his life.

  With the pressure off, they finished their drinks, and Elizabeth filled him in on all the great deals he could find and where. He tried to listen, to be polite, but his mind continued to wander. He didn’t like the anticipation building in his gut over telling Megan about his evening. Would it bug her? He didn’t want to hurt her, but she’d said she was fine. And he needed to tell her. She was helping him. And there wasn’t one other person he wanted to confide in.

  Adam knew he should worry about that fact, but instead, he just looked forward to heading home.

  Chapter Eleven

  With Charlie in bed, Megan needed a distraction. Which irritated her. She’d already compiled all of Charlie’s flight information, found a few new prospects for Adam, cleaned the fridge, and pinned about a thousand ideas for her one day classroom. Through every second of that, she wondered if Adam would kiss his date good night. Would he kiss any woman the way he had her? She was deluding herself into thinking it was something special when it wasn’t. Maybe if it hadn’t been so long since you’d been kissed. That’s all it was. Limited exposure. It sure as hell upped the bar for the next guy, though.

  After checking in on Charlie—who was snoring softly—she went to the living room to take care of something she’d put off for too long. She turned the TV on and made sure it was muted. Loading up the game system, she grabbed the controller. Charlie thought she let him beat her, and it was starting to get embarrassing. They’d done a low-level version of trash talking earlier that evening, and it was time for her to up her game. Literally. If she didn’t get some practice in when he wasn’t around, the kid was just going to keep creaming her.

  Swearing under her breath when she lost her lives in the first ten minutes, she pressed restart. If a seven year old could do this, so could she. Video games were more her brother’s thing than hers, but it couldn’t be that hard. Twenty minutes later, she vehemently disagreed with herself.

  “Argh. This is stupid.” She tossed the controller and nearly yelped when she saw Adam leaning on the doorframe grinning like the Ches
hire cat.

  Megan closed her eyes and counted to five. When she opened them, he was holding back his laughter.

  “Why are you home?”

  He bit his lip and pushed off the doorframe. He’d lost the jacket and tie. The first couple of buttons on his shirt were open, and as he walked toward her, he rolled the sleeve on his right arm.

  “You keep asking me that. It’s like you’ve forgotten who owns the house.”

  Hoping her face wasn’t redder than a bowl of tomatoes, she started to turn the game console off. “I just meant why so early. You had a date.”

  “Leave it on. That was pitiful. Someone needs to teach you,” he said, rolling the other sleeve.

  She glared at him. “I was just messing around.”

  His left eyebrow rose. “You seemed pretty intense for someone just messing around.”

  It took effort not to stick her tongue out at him. She felt like she’d worked out, and she still hadn’t passed the stupid fourth level.

  “How was your date?” Not that she wanted to know. Sure, it was all she could think about—what he was doing on the date—but she didn’t actually want details. It was none of her business. The sooner he found a match, the sooner she’d pay off her loan, start her life debt free, and know Charlie was well cared for.

  Adam grabbed the second controller and passed it to her. “My date offered me a one-night stand.”

  What the what? She stared at him. “Excuse me?”

  He smiled, amused. “Yeah. Said we didn’t have long-term potential, but I was hot, so we could hook up.”

  Bitch. She tightened her grip on the controller but worked to keep her voice even. “How very forward of her.”

  She looked down at the floor and thought of those cartoons where steam came out of the character’s ears. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It is none of your business. If he told her that he went for it, she might actually punch him.

  “I said no thank you.”

  Her head snapped up, and their gazes locked. Because he wanted Megan the way she did him? She’d been wondering about making him a similar offer. One night. Just to see if the chemistry between them was real. Apparently Elizabeth had more guts than Megan. Plus, Megan would have to see him every day after, unless she waited until the end of the summer. But she’d never been a one-night stand girl, and she knew herself well enough to know that if she slept with Adam, it would only intensify the mixed-up mess of feelings she was already trying to fight.