Let it Be Me

by Jody Holford

  Yes, she wanted what her parents had, but it wasn’t presenting itself just yet, so why deny herself something she wanted so badly she actually craved it? Reaching out, she put her hand on his leg as they pulled up to the stoplight. His hand squeezed hers and held it still. She smiled, biting her bottom lip. It was powerful, knowing she could turn him on so easily. It leveled the playing field. Almost.

  “You’re quiet,” she said as they drove through Old Town.

  “I’m trying to focus on driving rather than how badly I want my hands on you,” he said.

  Megan sucked in a breath. It would definitely be a waste to ignore this because it has an expiration date. If anything, knowing it was temporary would only heighten everything she felt and wanted him to feel.

  “That’s nearly romantic. I assumed you were thinking about numbers,” she teased.

  The glance he gave her sent a shiver over her skin. “Maybe I am. The number of times I plan to have you. The number of ways.”

  Okay. He’d shot past romantic and gone straight-up hot as hell. “Can’t you drive faster?”

  Adam laughed, and even that left a trail of warmth throughout her body. “Anticipation is a good thing.”

  Two could play that game, she thought as she freed her hand and let it travel up and down his thigh.

  They didn’t speak when he pulled into the driveway. Both of them were out of the car and at the door in what felt like seconds. He unlocked it, and she turned the knob and pushed. He shut it behind her and tossed his keys somewhere near the table. They clattered on the floor, but Adam and Megan were already wrapped up in each other, his hands in her hair, hers on his waist. His mouth was hot and sweet, and she pressed herself closer even as he stepped forward. The feel of the door at her back steadied her as his hands grazed over her body, lighting fires where they touched.

  He tugged at her shirt before pulling back long enough to strip it over her head. It joined the keys on the ground. Her breath sawed in and out, too fast to inhale deeply. He fumbled with the zipper on her jeans, his mouth driving her crazy. Then he stopped. Actually stopped kissing. Stopped moving. Megan nearly whimpered in protest. When his forehead dropped to hers, his breath was ragged.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered, smoothing his hands up and down her arms.

  She gripped his shirt. “For what?”

  “I should slow down. God. I should bring you all the way into the house,” he said, his laugh harsh and uneven.

  “The only thing you need to apologize for is stopping,” she said. She closed her teeth lightly on his lip, heard his gasp, and went up on tiptoe, tracing her tongue along his ear. “Don’t do that again.”

  When he bent his knees, she thought maybe he’d lift her up, let her wrap her legs around him. Words failed as emotions pummeled inside when, instead, he scooped her up like some hero in a romance novel. In a way that just didn’t happen in real life. Not without the guy falling over or some sort of mishap landing them both on the floor.

  But when he put her down, it was on the cool softness of his sheets. And he was right there with her, pushing her hair back from her face with both hands as he showered her with kisses. Her heart tugged, snagging against her rib cage. She breathed through it and made herself focus on him. On right now. Megan brushed her face against the side of his neck, breathing in the scent of his skin and fabric softener. She’d never do laundry here again without thinking of this moment—how she felt both grounded and separated from herself in the same moment. His hands linked with hers, and he took his time just touching his mouth to hers over and over again until she thought she’d go crazy with the need to be touched. To touch him.

  Unable to stay still, she moved beneath him, and finally, he shed his shirt as well, and his skin, warm and tight, was against her own. They both sighed, breathing each other in and out.

  “You’re so sexy, it’s hard to think,” he whispered against her mouth.

  Her fingers trailed through his hair. She loved the feel of it. Of him. “Don’t think. Just feel,” she whispered back.

  As though he’d physically pushed away the burden of thought, she felt him fall into her. With her. And she wondered, on the outer edges of her mind, if there was any coming back from this. If there’d ever be a time when she felt cherished more than right this second.

  Don’t think. Just feel. She followed her own advice, shutting everything other than Adam out of her mind.

  …

  His voice, soft and sure, pulled her from her sleep. It took Megan a second to orient herself. Plush gray pillowcases and a tangle of blankets. Adam’s bedroom. He sat on the side of the bed, speaking into his phone. She admired his back, reached out to stroke her hand down. He turned, smiled at her in a way that made her insides feel like they were playing double-dutch.

  “I love you, too. Have fun with Mom, okay? And send me pictures,” Adam said, leaning into her when Megan curled around his waist.

  “I’ll tell her. Okay, bud. Bye.”

  Adam set the phone on his nightstand and shifted. Megan scooted back and stayed on her side, tucking her hands beneath her cheek. Adam mirrored her pose, and she smiled.

  “He’s safe and happy?”

  “He is. He wanted me to say hi to you.”

  “Charlie’s such a good boy. He’s just so sweet,” she replied. It was still hard to believe she’d be leaving them.

  “It’s partially because of you. I think I’ve taken for granted how big a part of his life you are. How much you’ve influenced him. It won’t be the same when you go,” he said.

  He reached for her hand, and they clasped fingers, lying there, looking at each other. So familiar, but in some ways, complete strangers.

  “I can help you find the perfect nanny,” she promised.

  “Whoever it is still won’t be you,” he said. His eyes were so serious she felt a pang in her stomach and her heart.

  “No. But they’ll take good care of Charlie, and that’s what matters.”

  “I suppose it seems more reasonable than a wife, huh?”

  She laughed, grateful he was rethinking the plan. “I’ll say.”

  “Do you have ideas in mind?”

  “I’ve been in touch with the university. One of my former professors gave me a list of students finishing up their early childhood education degrees.”

  He shifted so he could look down at her. “You figured I’d end up going just the nanny route?”

  She bit her lip, then decided it was okay to tease him. “You’re pretty particular, so it seemed like a good idea to have a backup plan.”

  His shoulders shook with his laugher, but he sobered suddenly. “I’ll still pay your student loan. We made a deal.”

  Megan closed her eyes and counted to five. When she opened them, worry creased his forehead. “Adam, you’re in a pretty vulnerable position to be discussing money while I’m in bed with you, so I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. I’m going to assume you’d have figured out once we slept together—probably once we kissed actually, that deal was off the table.”

  He started to speak but closed his mouth. When she felt his hand move down, in front of his groin, she chuckled.

  “At the risk of offending you, which was not my intention, we did make a deal, and you more than held up your end of trying.”

  Megan shifted her knee, slowly, smirking at him. “We’re not having this discussion.”

  He glared at her, pushing her knee away and yanking her flush with his body. “We’ll table it, for now.”

  “Until we’re dressed?”

  Laughing, he nodded, then kissed her. “Which won’t be for a while.”

  Though his kisses were enough to keep her brain fuzzy, snuggling into the crook of his arm was a dizzying sensation as well. Who would have thought Adam Klein was such a…toucher?

  He kissed the top of her head, and Megan thought of her brother and Garrett. No. Stop. This is not that. Don’t do that to yourself.

  “I do wonder
if I need someone to live in now that Charlie is at school full days. He wasn’t when you started,” Adam said.

  He shifted closer, and she moved to him, like they’d choreographed the moves.

  “If they didn’t live in, you’d have to make sure you came home at a reasonable and predictable time each day.”

  His fingers played with her hair. “I know. I really have taken advantage of your time.”

  She didn’t like the regret in his voice. He hadn’t asked anything of her that she hadn’t wanted to give. Yes, the amount of time she spent with Charlie had increased more and more, but she didn’t regret one moment of that time.

  “I have no complaints, Adam.”

  Using his fingers, he nudged her chin up so they were looking at each other. “None?”

  She laughed. “Well, you’re a little bossy, but mostly, it’s been nothing but a great experience. You should decide if you want another live in or not. The suite is a great bonus to the pay. Especially for a college student. If they aren’t required to live here, it could come in handy to have them outside just in case.”

  His chest rose and fell on a sigh. “Let’s talk about something else. Other than you having to leave.”

  “Can I ask you something?” Her heart skipped a beat. It was crossing a line between temporary and serious, but she’d wanted to know even before sleeping with him.

  “Anything.”

  “How did things come apart for you and Reece?”

  Deep down, she knew it was an integral part of what had closed Adam off from seeking out another real try at a relationship. This woman, whom Megan had only met a couple of times, had broken a piece of Adam. Or taken it with her. He stiffened beside her but relaxed when she ran her hand over the ridges of his stomach.

  “By wanting different things, mostly. She wanted so badly to be a star. We didn’t plan on Charlie, but once she found out she was pregnant, everything else just seemed to matter less. I wanted a family.”

  “Coming from someone who works so much, I guess it just seems strange to me,” she said. Part of her wondered if it was because of what Reece did for a living or if Adam felt the role of a wife was to stay home and take care of the family before anything else. For a man who spent his life pursuing a higher status in his job, it didn’t fit.

  “When we met, Reece was into community theatre. She wanted to take some acting classes and spent a few weeks in New York. Luck on the heels of a great audition landed her a couple of commercials. I know it must sound hypocritical, but my need to achieve more professionally is based on what I want for Charlie and myself. Over time, I felt like what Reece wanted from her career was something she’d never be happy without. It wasn’t about us, and if I’m being really honest, having my wife make out with hot guys whose abs could be classified as weapons wasn’t great for our marriage.”

  Megan loved that he spoke so openly. She hadn’t expected it. Levering up, she smiled down at him. “I’ve seen them up close now, and I’d say your abs—and the rest of you—rivals anyone she’s worked with.”

  Adam laughed, and his gaze darted over her head. “Very funny.”

  She put her hand to his cheek, waited until he looked at her. “I’m not joking.”

  Megan stroked her thumb across his bottom lip, then smoothed her hand down, over his chest, and along his stomach. She pressed her lips right over his belly button, tracing her tongue along the narrow trail of hair she found so incredibly sexy. She’d take in the flesh and real over a scripted make-out session any day.

  “Come here,” he whispered, gripping her arms and pulling her up so she lay across his chest.

  “I’m right here,” she whispered back, kissing him again. She ignored the nagging realization that this relationship might be temporary, but its impact on her heart could very well be permanent.

  …

  When she woke the next morning, he’d already left for work. Megan had a vague recollection of him kissing her goodbye. Or maybe she’d dreamed it. She stretched her arms above her head, enjoying the feel of his much-nicer-than-hers sheets brushing against her sensitive skin. Even though she didn’t actually need to get out of bed, energy coursed through her. With a smile, she threw back the covers. She needed to text Stella. Picking up her phone, her heart sighed when she realized instead of a note, Adam had left her a text.

  Adam: You look so lovely when you sleep. I wanted to crawl back in with you. Have a good day. xo

  “Temporary,” she said out loud. She’d have to keep reminding herself.

  She sent a quick text to Stella, asking if she wanted to meet for lunch, then went to make some coffee and grab something for breakfast. Her day included shopping for groceries, looking into possible nannies, maybe placing an ad for one, and some packing. By the time she sat down with cereal and a mug of vanilla-scented coffee, Stella still hadn’t texted back.

  Her mom phoned as she was pouring a second cup.

  “Hey. I was going to call you and see if you wanted to come look at an apartment with me,” Megan said.

  “That sounds nice. What about dinner tonight?”

  She had two weeks with Adam and didn’t want to miss out on any of it. But she didn’t want to miss out on her parents, either.

  “What were you thinking?”

  “Your brother suggested a BBQ. He spoke to Stella, and she invited us all up there.”

  When had Parks spoken to Stella? “That sounds good. You know what? I think I’m going to hold off on looking at apartments. I wanted to talk to Stella about the spare bedroom she has anyway. I just thought it would be fun for us to spend some time together.”

  “Parker is taking me to his restaurant today. Want to meet for lunch, too?”

  “Nah. Why don’t you and Parks go and I’ll steal you tomorrow?”

  “Perfect.”

  They chatted for a few more moments before they hung up. Megan looked around the kitchen, and the quiet sank into her bones. She really wanted to talk to Stella. She needed to unload everything whirling around inside of her to her good friend. Megan needed someone to tell her she wasn’t crazy. Or that she was.

  She texted Stella again, decided to get dressed and maybe start going through her things. No sense in packing anything she planned to get rid of. When her phone rang, Megan’s heart skipped a full beat at the sight of Adam’s face. No beat skipping.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey yourself.”

  Megan wandered down the hall, back toward his room, waiting for him to fill the silence.

  “What are you doing?”

  She smiled into the phone. “I was going to go back to my place and get dressed. I need to pack up and go through some of my stuff. And you?”

  “I’m sitting in a restaurant about twenty minutes from Brockton, waiting on a client and trying not to let my mind wander.”

  Her smile grew as she lay on his bed. “Where would it wander to?”

  “Hmm. See, there’s this girl.”

  “Woman.”

  Adam laughed. “Yes. There’s this woman, and because of her, I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  Delight tumbled in her belly. “Is that so?”

  “Mm-hmm. You steal all of the covers.”

  Laughter bubbled up, and she rolled to her side. “I do not.”

  “Oh. I see the client. I have to go. I could bring dinner home tonight.”

  Home. Nope, nope, nope. His home. He could bring dinner home to his house. That’s all he meant.

  “Actually, I have to go to a BBQ. I told you my parents are in town, and Stella has invited them and my brother and Garrett up to her place.”

  The silence felt heavy, until Adam spoke. “I like BBQs.”

  Introducing him to her family didn’t seem like a temporary lover sort of thing to do, but he was her boss, and she could leave it at that while they were with others.

  “Do you want to come?”

  “I’d like to if it means spending time with you. Is that all right?”<
br />
  Sitting up, Megan grinned. “I think I can handle spending another evening with you.”

  “Funny girl.”

  “But you should know,” she said, letting her voice deepen.

  “What is it?”

  “There will be horses on the property.” She bit her lip to keep from laughing.

  “When I tell you the story, you’re going to feel so bad, you’re going to be looking for ways to make it up to me.”

  “We’ll see. Don’t be too late or you’ll have to meet me there,” Megan said, bouncing off the bed.

  “Yes, dear,” he said, a low chuckle sounding in her ear.

  Megan laughed and disconnected. Tossing her phone on the bed, she had the urge to crawl back in and bury herself in the feel of his sheets and the scent of him. She knew she was playing with fire, but it was hard to regret when it felt so good. She liked this side of Adam—the playful, less serious side. Maybe if he’d shown this side earlier, she would have fallen sooner. So it’s a good thing he didn’t.

  Megan went to her apartment and started with her books, stacking them in piles of keep or donate. She’d cleared an entire shelf, thinking how much money she’d spent in textbooks, when Stella finally called.

  “Where have you been?” Megan asked.

  “I was out of cell phone range. Sorry. I’ve told you about my friend Samantha?”

  The name was familiar. “Oh, the Brockton Inn, right?”

  “Yes. Her mom is really sick, and they have a cat Samantha’s been worried about. She hasn’t been able to bring her in, though, because of her mom. I went out there this morning to check on the kitty and say hi.”

  “Oh. Is everything okay?”

  “The cat is fine. She’d mucked up her paw, probably on some brambles or something. Sam’s mom isn’t doing great.”

  Megan sat down on her couch and sighed. “I’m so not ready for that point in my life.” Then she cringed and smacked her forehead. “God. I’m sorry, Stell.”