Lose A Princess, Lose Your Head (Merchant Blades Book 2)

by Alex Avrio

  9 THE HEN AND PEAR

  REGINA’S plans to embarrass Jaeger evaporated in the morning when she threw up on his boots before breakfast.

  “Not a peep out of you,” she said wiping her mouth. “You drink, and I vomit.” She rinsed her mouth with water and cleaned her teeth. Jaeger prudently said nothing.

  Over breakfast Briggs was in high spirits.

  “How did it go?” she asked. She knew Briggs loved to share his gambling stories.

  “Like taking turnips from farmers,” Briggs laughed and went on to tell the story of his winnings. When the food arrived Regina realized that Jaeger had ordered only herbal tea and broth for her. She gave him a disapproving glance but he just shrugged and pointed to his bowl, which was full of the same plain broth.

  “This curse we have, sharing each other’s pain,” Regina said leaning towards his ear. “Why isn't a pain shared a pain halved? This is doubled.”

  Jaeger just shrugged again.

  “Ever drink like that again, and I’ll sew your mouth shut – and damn the pain it costs me,” she hissed. She drank her herbal tea. Jaeger stirred his broth.

  Once again, the party got back on the road much later than planned. Major Morgenstern was riding up and down inspecting the column of Hussars. He seemed annoyed not to have found anything amiss, but Regina found it difficult to read his expressions, which were confined to the unscarred side of his face. Finally, the princess and her ladies came out of the lodge, climbed into the carriage and they were on their way. Regina noticed that the princess looked a little under the weather.

  The party rode throughout the day, stopping only briefly for the ladies to take lunch. The mercenaries took the opportunity to eat and mingled with the soldiers.

  “Sergeant Briggs!” Kyfer called. “You must give us a chance to win back our money.”

  “Of course. Same game tonight?” Briggs rubbed his hands together gleefully.

  Thomas came to see them holding a basket of bread and handed them each one. Regina took a big bite and chewed happily.

  “Charlie has something to tell you,” Thomas said without looking at her.

  “Tell her to meet us tonight after everyone's retired to their beds.”

  Thomas nodded and gave a loaf to Jaeger. He took it and made short work of it.

  The team rode at the back of the convoy, giving Regina time to take in the Eressian countryside. They were leaving the flat farmland and entering a forested area. She reminded the Blades to stay alert as this would be a good place for an ambush, but any bandits would have to either be brave or stupid to attack a convoy this heavily protected. It was significantly cooler in the shade of the trees and Regina shivered, although it wasn’t sufficiently cold to bring her greatcoat out of her saddlebag. Thin wisps of mist were crawling through the undergrowth hiding the last flowers before winter. Regina felt another shiver travel up her spine. She looked into the trees but could see nothing.

  “I have the weirdest feeling we’re being watched,” she said quietly to Jaeger.

  “As have I,” he replied. “Keep your wits about you but don’t tell the others yet.”

  For the entire time they rode through the forest, Regina sensed cold, calculating eyes, full of malice trained on her. Yet wherever she looked, she could see no one. When the party finally left the trees behind, she breathed a sigh of relief and nudged her horse to catch up with Briggs.

  “Did you notice anything strange in the forest?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he said, “it was bloody cold.”

  She could usually rely on Briggs' to pick out any dangers, so she bit her lip and decided to say nothing.

  “You OK, Captain?” Briggs asked.

  “Yes. Just my stomach. Feeling nauseous all morning.”

  Briggs gave her a broad smile. “Also known as a hangover.”

  “And it wasn’t even me that did the drinking. My stomach’s been annoying me for a couple of days now.”

  “That’s a great line to get out of the pickled cabbage side dish,” Briggs said, stroking his large moustache.

  “I don’t understand why people keep saying that,” Amanates commented. “I like it.”

  “Too much of a good thing and all that,” Briggs said with a smile. Regina nudged her horse and they moved onwards. They traveled for a few more hours before they reached The Hen and Pear, the inn that had been reserved exclusively for the Princess’s party. Regina noticed a number of merchants sullenly riding off, having been turned away by the Hussars. There wasn’t another inn nearby so she felt for them, having to set camp in this uninviting land.

  The inn was large, with a vast sleeping hall that accommodated most of the Hussars, although a few chose to set up camp outside. There were also sufficient rooms for the princess's party and the officers. It took some time for everyone to get settled in the inn. The princess and her ladies were accommodated first, escorted by the ever-present Lieutenant Schaefer. The Hussar officers were next. The innkeeper, the waitresses and stable boys ran around like the house was on fire, trying to keep everybody happy. Jaeger checked the horses while Regina drank warm ale in front of the fire. She felt a little guilty: the horses were supposed to be her job. Jaeger, though, seemed to think that in the Eressian heartland he could do better than a Merrovigian, so he could be her guest.

  The innkeeper came over to their table carrying a tray of tankards.

  “Here’s a round of drinks on the house, dearies,” she said. “Sorry to keep you waiting for so long but I’m short on hands today. We've not been this busy since before the war. Used to get crowds passing. We're out of practice handling so many.”

  “I wouldn’t worry too much,” Regina said, “we spend half our life waiting.”

  The innkeeper gave her a smile.

  “Thank you, mistress innkeeper”, Jaeger said as he returned, taking a tankard.

  The woman, round as an apple with cheeks to match, laughed. She patted him on the back.

  “Now there’s a man whose mother taught him manners! You wouldn't think it but all them high and nobles don’t know how to say those two words.”

  The mercenaries laughed.

  “I don’t hold my breath for their thanks,” Briggs said.

  “Seems nobility have the same manners everywhere,” the innkeeper said. “Are you in the Merchant Blades?” she asked taking in their blue uniform coats. Regina wondered why she was asking; she must see enough of their guild members in her trade.

  “My two serving boys have run away to join the Blades, blast their eyes,” the woman said shaking her big fist. Jaeger frowned.

  “They’ll be back soon enough,” he reassured her. “The Merchant Blades only take on professional soldiers.”

  “You think I haven’t told them? These penny pamphlets have taken away any brains they had.” She pulled out an ‘Adventures of The Merchant Blades’ pamphlet from a pocket, and snorted.

  “They saved all their pennies for this rubbish. Every fortnight they ran and bought the new one,” she said. “If I knew who wrote them, I’d wring their necks.”

  “They could have just asked us how the life is, when we were passing,” Regina said, looking longingly at the tankards but not wanting to interrupt the innkeeper before she was done. “May I have a look?”

  The innkeeper gave it to her.

  “Here you are, dearie. You can keep it. Now excuse me, I’ve got to finish with the soldiers and the lords and ladies but I’ll be back to look after you personally. I’ll save some good cuts of meat for you.” She gave them a wink as she left. Jaeger took the pamphlet.

  “The Merchant Blades and the Harem of the King of Menphis,” he read aloud. Everybody’s ears picked up.

  “That sounds like a good one,” Briggs commented lightheartedly.

  “Will you be reading that tonight, Kapitan, or can we borrow it?” Eleven asked with a mischievous grin.

  “It is my duty as an officer to protect you from these kinds of things,” Jaeger said with mock serious
ness, taking the pamphlet from Regina, rolling it up and putting it in his inside coat pocket. There was a sea of disappointed faces in the table. “Oh, don’t worry, you can have it when I’m finished,” Jaeger said and everybody laughed.

  Charlie entered the room holding a tray with glasses of mulled wine. Lieutenant Schaefer pointed to a table. A Hussar entered holding an envelope as Charlie was unloading the drinks.

  “Letter for the Baroness from the Baron Meinheart Orsy,” he announced. The princess got up and took the letter.

  “My lady,” Lieutenant Schaefer said. “This letter is for the Baroness,” she said. A pout formed on the princesses’ face.

  “But–”

  “It’s for the Baroness, from her husband,” Lieutenant Schaefer said sternly. Her eyes darted to the Hussar and Charlie. The princess huffed, returned the letter and crossed her arms. The Hussar gave the letter to the Baroness, bowed and left. Charlie was about to leave too when Princess Rosamynd shot up, bent over a chamber pot and emptied the contents of her stomach. Lady Emily went to help her, while the Baroness looked away in disgust.

  “I think we have a problem,” Lieutenant Schaefer said.

  10 ALL THAT GLITTERS

  REGINA had just been sick again, and Jaeger again made her drink herbal tea. This was getting to be a habit. This time she couldn’t pin the blame on his drinking. Regina and Jaeger were getting their travel bags from the room when Thomas poked his head in.

  “I can’t stay, but Charlie says we’re not leaving today, the princess is sick,” he said and moved on.

  Jaeger went try to confirm this with Meyer, but found him giving orders for his Hussars to prepare for departure.

  “Are we leaving?” Jaeger asked.

  Meyer looked up at him. “Of course we are,” he said impatiently.

  “I heard that–”

  “You’re not paid to hear, Kapitan,” a cold voice said. Morgenstern had just arrived to report to the Colonel. “You’re not being paid to think either. You’re paid to do what you’re told.”

  “I don’t want to get my team saddled up and ready and make them wait for hours without reason,” Jaeger said.

  “If that’s what you’re told to do, you’ll do it, Kapitan,” Morgenstern said. “Or have you forgotten how the army works?”

  Meyer looked at Morgenstern and then at Jaeger and sighed. “Just get them ready,” he told Jaeger.

  Regina, Jaeger and the team waited with the Hussars until midday when Lieutenant Schaefer came out and told them that they would be staying another night. A few of the horses snorted and banged their hooves on the cobblestones, reflecting their owner’s feelings.

  “Oh, for the Mother’s sake,” Regina muttered under her breath. Jaeger kept a stony silence.

  “Can we at least go back in now?” Regina asked. She was feeling rough herself and wouldn’t mind the chance to lie down for a while.

  “I believe we can,” Jaeger said slowly. Eleven jumped off her horse and Jackson and Summers followed her. Amanates waited for a little longer.

  “Is there anything I can do, Captains?” he asked.

  “Unless you can heal the princess, no,” Regina said. Amanates dismounted and Jackson put her arm round Amanates’ shoulder. Summers put his arm around the other shoulder.

  “How about a drinking competition?” Jackson asked.

  Regina was tempted into the main dining hall of the inn by the warm smell of roasting meat. She followed up with a large slice of apple pie, under the disapproving gaze of Jaeger. The innkeeper, Madam Katrina, came round briefly.

  “My little pigeon, you’ve been sick,” she said. Regina wasn’t surprised. Good innkeepers prided themselves on knowing everything that happened in their establishment. She gave Regina a large mug of herbal tea of some sort.

  “This is a family recipe. It’ll fix you up in no time.”

  Regina took it.

  “I have four daughters, dearie, and between them they’ve had fourteen children. I know my remedies. This‘ll sort you out,” she said giving her a knowing smile.

  Jaeger suddenly spluttered, and she had to bang him on the back as he descended into a coughing fit, his drink having gone down the wrong way.

  Meyer caught Schaefer in the corridor and took her to an inconspicuous corner. “What’s the matter with the princess?” he asked.

  “Nothing serious,” she answered. Her broken front tooth showed when she gave him a reassuring smile. “Just a small indisposition. Lady things.”

  Meyer coughed. “Very well. Do you think that we can be on our way by tomorrow?”

  Schaefer shrugged. “I’m a lieutenant, not a physician.”

  Meyer took out a handkerchief and mopped his brow. “We’re on a timetable here.”

  “Well, send a rider ahead to tell them we’ll be late by a day,” Schaefer replied calmly. “We can’t risk something happening to our charges. They’re high nobility. And you know what Baron Orsy’s like. If anything happens to his wife–”

  “He of all people must know–” Meyer stopped mid-sentence and looked around. No one was in sight. He twisted the handkerchief in his hands. “It’s a matter of the most delicate timing,” he finished.

  “Don’t worry, Colonel,” Schaefer said, putting her hand on Meyer’s arm. “You can rely on me.”

  Major Morgenstern came around the corner, his eyes falling on Schaefer’s hand on Meyer’s arm. Schaefer slowly took it away and gave Morgenstern a look that dared him to say something. Morgenstern’s left cheek twitched. The right side of his face remained immobile.

  “Is there something you want, Major?” Meyer asked sharply.

  “No, sir,” Morgenstern said. “I have already adjusted the plans for tomorrow.”

  “How– efficient,” Schaefer observed, her voice sweet and hard at the same time.

  “Is there anything else, Major?” Meyer asked.

  “No, sir.”

  “Then may I suggest that you find Kapitan Jaeger and solve this issue between you? It is becoming tiresome.”

  Morgenstern’s back stiffened. He was standing to attention. “Is that an order, sir?”

  “No. A friendly suggestion,” Meyer said taking a deep breath.

  “In that case, sir, I will respectfully decline.” With that Morgenstern took his leave and walked on.

  Regina lay on the bed in her room. Next to her Jaeger sat on the bed and took the penny pamphlet out of his coat pocket.

  “You don’t have to stay with me like I’m a child,” Regina said.

  “You know we can't go far from each other,” Jaeger commented, studying the illustration on the cover.

  “Yes, but you don't need to stay this close. Go downstairs and drink with the others.”

  “Drink? I thought I wasn’t allowed to,” Jaeger said, raising his eyebrow. Regina wondered what was going on inside his head. He usually did what he pleased. She wondered why he was recently so accommodating.

  “You can go down if you want,” she said.

  “Thank you kindly for your permission, madam, but I’m having a perfectly nice time here.”

  Jaeger opened the Penny Pamphlet and started to read. Regina closed her eyes.

  “You might as well read that out loud. I’m only resting my eyes,” she said.

  Jaeger considered for a moment and then began reading the adventures of a band of daring Merchant Blades to her. Regina thought she must have been cat napping, because she could hear the story from far away, but she also felt like she’d had a refreshing sleep. Suddenly Jaeger stopped reading. Regina opened her eyes and looked at him.

  “What?” he asked. “It’s finished.” He waved the pamphlet. “If you want the rest you’ll have to buy the next one.”

  Regina sat up. “It wasn’t bad,” she commented.

  “No, it wasn’t. There were bits I was cringing, but I got to the end before I knew it.” Jaeger laughed.

  “It’s good to read something positive about the Blades,” Regina agreed.


  “Before the war mercenaries had a reputation as sellswords at best and plunderers and rapists at worst,” Jaeger commented, putting the pamphlet back in his pocket. “Whoever the author is, he or she is doing us a favor.”

  “You know that snooze did me a world of good,” Regina observed. “I feel as good as new.” She got up.

  Jaeger took out his compass timepiece and a deep frown set on his brow. “We’re close to the full moon,” he said darkly.

  Charlie waited until everyone was asleep and slipped out to head for the Captains’ room. She was careful to avoid being seen but despite her best efforts she bumped into the lieutenant from the Hunting Lodge.

  “Why, where’s this beautiful young lady going at this time of night?” he asked. There was a tone in his voice that Charlie didn’t like and put her on guard. Her right hand went to her left sleeve.

  “To the outhouse. And where've you been yourself?” she asked sharply. The lieutenant looked at her carefully.

  “The same. Beer is lovely but–” he gave her a smile.

  “Well it’s been wonderful chatting, but if you don’t mind–”

  “Actually, I do,” he said. He took a step closer. “I would very much like to–” His sentence was cut short by the point of Charlie’s dagger pressed against his stomach.

  “Come any closer and you’ll be breathing through your guts,” Charlie said. The lieutenant lifted his hands in mock surrender.

  “Easy there,” he said soothingly. “I only wanted to ask you your name.”

  “Yeah, right,” Charlie scoffed. “Never heard that one before. I know your kind, mister.”

  The lieutenant looked unsure of himself. “I don’t know what men you’ve met but not all of us are like that.”