Blood Circus: A Junkyard Druid Urban Fantasy Short Story Collection (Junkyard Druid Novellas Book 2)

by M. D. Massey

  “WHO DARES TO STAND IN THE PRESENCE OF THE CLOWN GOD?”

  The other goblins turned, as if I’d just said, “Who does not want to wear the ribbon?” They started muttering, and a few looked like they were about to attack the lone unbeliever.

  Then the turd pointed up at the club in my hand and began to open his mouth. I beat him to the punch, drowning his words out, because I knew what he was about to say. He’d recognized my voice, and the club had cinched it for him.

  “THE UNBELIEVER MUST BE PUNISHED! LOOK, I HAVE ALREADY PAINTED MY FACE WITH YOUR FIRST SACRIFICE, AND NOW I DEMAND THAT YOU SACRIFICE THIS BLASPHEMER AS WELL!”

  The goblins looked at each other in confusion once more, scratching their heads and mumbling as they discussed the meaning of blasphemer.

  “GAH… GRAB THE GOBLIN WHO REFUSES TO KNEEL—KILL FOR YOUR CLOWN GOD!”

  That got them moving. The lone goblin clown who knew it was a lie began to back away as he yelled frantically. “Homie’s an imposter! Not real clown god—a fake, a fake!”

  But the other goblins’ chants of “Kill for the clown god!” drowned out his yells, and soon the rest of his clan had tied him up on the altar. Before I knew it, they were stabbing the clown goblin, over and over, until his blood ran in rivers down the altar.

  That would have been a good thing—except that, as the goblin’s blood began to seep into the cracks in the floor below, the ground began to shake and rumble. The goblins began to back away from the altar. As they did, the floor cracked open and swallowed the sacrifice up, altar and all. As the altar sank into the darkness below, a portal opened in the empty space that was left, swirling in a rainbow kaleidoscope of circus lights and blood.

  The real clown god was coming, in answer to the very real sacrifice I’d just insisted upon. Gulp.

  The goblins milled around in confusion, looking up at me and back at the portal in front of them. An enormous, red-gloved hand reached over the edge of the portal, attached to a pale-white wrist. I estimated that whoever or whatever that hand belonged to must have easily been thirty feet tall, and I didn’t care to stick around to find out if I was right.

  “UM… TIME FOR ME TO GO. UH, THANKS FOR THE LOVELY SACRIFICE. YOUR EFFORTS ARE APPRECIATED, AND… BE SURE TO DONATE TO THE SHRINER’S HOSPITAL!”

  I ducked back into the cloud of smoke and headed for the exit that Kenny and Derp had taken.

  10

  I ran to the end of the tunnel, catching up with the two boys in seconds. They had their heads sticking through the illusion, so I pulled them back through. Both boys jumped and screamed. I realized I was still wearing the scary clown mask, and pulled it off.

  “Oh, it’s just Buffy.” Kenny sighed. “Shit, you gave me a heart attack.”

  “You know this guy?” Derp asked his friend. Kenny nodded, and Derp turned on me. “What the hell is wrong with you, man? You nearly made me piss myself, and I just got these pants yesterday.”

  Kenny rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Derp? All your clothes come from yard sales and the thrift store. Like anyone is going to notice a few piss stains.”

  Derp punched Kenny in the arm. “These were nearly new when I got them, asshat. At least until you let me go into the fun house by myself. Fuck! I was in the hall of mirrors when that weird-ass clown grabbed me, tied me up, and dragged me all over the place—and now, look… they’re ruined.”

  Kenny rubbed his arm. “Alright, already. I’ll buy you another pair. Sheesh.”

  I cleared my throat. “Um, boys? We have bigger worries right now. For one, about three dozen angry goblin clowns are about to come storming down that tunnel. And second, I think I—uh, well… I think I actually summoned the clown god.”

  “You what?” Kenny yelled. “How?”

  “Is he angry—or hungry?” Derp squeaked.

  I looked at both boys. “Probably both, but I’ll have to explain how it happened later. Did you see any other way out of here?”

  They shook their heads. “Nope, none. Just the waterfall of doom,” Kenny replied. “Can’t we just go back and find another way out?”

  The sounds of dozens of footsteps answered his question, followed by chants of “Kill the imposter god!”

  Derp’s eyes grew wide. “I guess that answers that question.”

  I stuck my head through the illusion into the tunnel of love, and looked everywhere for a solution. There really was no other way out but over the waterfall, but for some reason my eyes were drawn to the flashing “EXIT” sign pointing at the tunnel’s terminus. I thought back to the dripping wet clown who had been sacrificed to summon the clown god, just moments before.

  Could it be? Only one way to find out.

  I hope I’m right about this, I thought to myself.

  “Boys, I’ve got good news and bad news,” I said.

  Kenny glanced over my shoulder and up the tunnel. “They’re coming, and they look pissed. Quit fucking around and just tell us how to get out of here, Buffy!”

  “Good news is that I know how to get out of here. The bad news is this.” I grabbed both boys by their shirt collars and tossed them through the illusion, into the rapids of the tunnel of love on the other side. Then, I took one last look over my shoulder and followed after.

  We landed in the water with three distinct splashes, one right after the other. Kenny had managed to snag the edge of the cave wall as I tossed him, so that caused him to land just after his pal. The current immediately began dragging us toward the roar of the waterfall at the end of the tunnel. Kenny and Derp both swam against the current with all their might, but it was no use.

  “Don’t fight it—just go with it. Trust me!” I yelled. My reassurances turned out to be unnecessary, as they both got swept away.

  They disappeared over the ledge, each screaming in fear and anger. I let myself be dragged over as well, and fell off the waterfall into darkness below, spinning end over end in ragdoll fashion.

  How far we fell, I had no idea. But seconds later, I landed on a hard, unforgiving surface. I sat up and shook my head, and saw that we were just inside the exit to the fun house. A beaded curtain swayed in the wind next to us, and beyond I could see the lights of the midway shutting down, one by one. It was dark outside, and stars twinkled in the blackness above.

  If my clothing hadn’t been soaked through, and if Kenny and Derp hadn’t been looking back at me dumbfounded, I’d have thought it all a dream. I sat for a moment, stunned… then remembered what sort of danger we were in. I leapt to my feet and dragged them with me.

  “We have to get out of here—like now,” I said.

  “You don’t have to tell me twice,” Kenny grumbled.

  “I second the motion,” Derp said.

  I watched as the boys headed through the curtain and down the exit chute, their wet clothing making squeaking sounds on the hard yellow plastic of the slide as they descended. I paused inside the door of the fun house, rustling around in my Bag for what I needed.

  I pulled out a can of lighter fluid and a pack of matches, and doused the hallway liberally with the fluid. The pungent odor of petroleum distillates filled the hall, and I stepped back and lit the entire pack of matches—just as the first goblin clown appeared in midair, plopping down on the floor a few feet away.

  I tossed the matches into the lighter fluid and watched as the walls, floor, and ceiling between myself and the goblin lit up in flames. The goblin backed away from the heat, and I gave a smart-assed salute as I turned and headed out the door.

  11

  Minutes later, the boys and I sat at a nearby Whataburger, chowing down and shivering in the air-conditioned dining room. Whataburger dining rooms were always kept just this side of freezing, no matter what time of year it was. I think it was a corporate edict or something.

  Derp dipped a fry into his chocolate shake. He stared at it for several long seconds before popping it into his mouth, chewing in silence with a faraway look in his eyes. Since we’d rescued him, the kid had proven worthy of
his nickname several times, and Kenny razzed him constantly for it. Derp seemed to take it in stride, and gave as good as he got. But beneath the goofiness and adolescent hijinks, it was easy to see he was in shock after the events of the evening.

  Kenny, on the other hand, was beside himself with excitement. He’d been chattering and asking questions about the world beneath nonstop since we’d escaped the fun house. Based on past experience, I knew that level of curiosity about the supernatural would not end well for the boy—not at all.

  The truth was, I worried about their sanity and future, should they decide to keep messing around with the supernatural. While Derp ate and Kenny chattered, I started working on an excuse to slip away for a few moments, so I could call Sabine and get her to mind-wipe them both.

  “I still can’t believe you set the thing on fire,” Kenny said, shaking his head.

  I held a finger up to my lips. “Shhh! Someone might hear and connect us to the incident.” I took a drink of sweet tea with a loud slurping noise, shaking the cup to get at the last few drops before I set it on the table. “Besides, I couldn’t let that clown god thing come through, whatever it was. As it stands, it’s probably caught between our world and its own now. I’d bet dimes to donuts that we haven’t seen the last of it.”

  Kenny pushed a French fry around in a container of ketchup. “Yeah, but now we can never go back.”

  Derp suddenly came to life as he slapped Kenny on the back of his skull. “What in the hell would ever make you want to go back? Scary goblin clowns tried to kill us to summon their ginormous clown god of destruction. Dude! No one in their right mind should want to go back to that.”

  “Derp has a point,” I said. “I’d forget about the whole damned lot—magic, monsters, fae, everything—and walk away right now, if I could.”

  Derp raised a hand as if he needed my permission to speak. Kenny sighed in exasperation. “Derp, how many times do I have to tell you? You don’t have to raise your hand every time you want to say something to an adult.”

  Derp dumped his last few fry crumbs into his mouth, then stared at the bottom of the paper bag with a sigh. “Yeah, but I never know the right time to interject my thoughts. It’s easier when I raise my hand, because I don’t end up talking all over everybody else. Adults hate it when you do that.” I pushed my tray toward him, and he began munching on my fries as he continued. “Colin, I was just wondering… can’t you get someone with psychic powers to mind-wipe you? You know, like Professor X or Jean Grey. Then you could walk away, right?”

  I started to wonder if Derp had ESP, considering I’d just been thinking about mind-wiping him. “It doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. Oh, I could get someone who knows mind magic to wipe my memory—but I’ve spent years dealing with the supernatural world. Having all those memories erased would likely destroy my mind and make me a vegetable.

  “And even if I could have my memories erased without damaging my psyche, it still wouldn’t keep the supernatural world from coming after me. I’ve made a lot of enemies over the years, and I’m sure there are many more that I don’t even know about. Getting mind-wiped would just leave me vulnerable to them.”

  During this exchange, Kenny silently twisted a straw and watched it unwind itself, over and over again. He tossed the straw on the table and glared at me.

  “You’re going to have someone do that to us, aren’t you?” he asked.

  I tongued a molar and tsked. “Figured that out, did you?”

  Derp looked back and forth at us. “Do what?” Realization dawned across his face, and he backed into his seat, waving both hands in front of him. “Aw, hell no! I don’t want no mind flayer messing around inside my head. No way, no how. Uh-uh.”

  Kenny crossed his arms, never taking his eyes off me. “It’s not fair. I’m the one who went in after Derp. If it wasn’t for me, you’d never have rescued him. I have just as much right to know about them as you do.”

  “It’s for your own good,” I countered lamely.

  Kenny threw his hands up in the air. “You just told us that if you got your memories erased, you’d be a sitting duck for them. Are you telling us those goblins aren’t coming after us? That we’ll be safe—that ignorance is bliss?”

  Derp stole one of Kenny’s leftover fries. “Dude, you have to stop quoting The Matrix. That movie is old—no one knows those quotes anymore.”

  I sat back in the booth, turning sideways and cocking a knee on the bench. “You sure you want to take the red pill? That’s a big decision for a kid your age—one that can affect you and everybody you love for the rest of your life. Consider it carefully before you decide to jump feet-first into the unknown.”

  Kenny looked at Derp, and the unspoken question hung in the air between them. Derp ignored him, futzing with a pile of salt he’d poured onto the table. “Alright already, sheesh. No, Kenny, I don’t want to go back to the way it was before. I mean, shit—how many people get to find out that their RPG fantasies are real?”

  “And nightmares,” I interjected. “Remember, you both came close to death tonight.”

  Derp nodded, still staring at the pile of salt he was pushing around. “Yeah, and that.” He looked up, addressing us both. “But how could I ever go back to being the dork who gets de-pantsed in gym class every week, after surviving all that?”

  That struck a chord with me, despite my reservations. Learning how to fight supernatural creatures had changed me, and Finnegas’ presence and influence in my life had been nothing short of transformative. As much as I resented the old man for getting Jesse and me involved in the world of the fae, I had to admit that being a bullied high school nobody had sucked balls.

  I looked hard at the boys. They returned my stare, Kenny with defiance in his eyes and Derp with hopeful expectation. I rubbed my forehead with both hands and exhaled slowly.

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but okay.”

  “Okay what?” Kenny asked.

  “I’ll let you two retain your memories… but only on a trial basis.” They began to protest, and I cut them off. “Wait a minute, hear me out. I’ll agree that I won’t send some fae sorceress to wipe your minds in the middle of the night, if you two agree that you won’t pursue the world beneath in any way, shape, or form for the next six months. Nor will you speak a word of it to anyone else! If you can stay out of trouble and keep quiet during that time, then I’ll consider showing you how to defend yourselves from the supernatural.”

  Their faces broke into huge grins as they high-fived.

  “Yes!” Kenny shouted.

  “Do I get a magic sword?” Derp asked. “If so, I want a +5 vorpal blade!”

  I covered my head with my hands and groaned. “What have I gotten myself into?”

  Serpent’s Daughter

  Note to readers: This narrative takes place after Underground Druid, so be warned—spoilers follow. If you haven’t read Book 4 in the Colin McCool series yet, you might want to read it before you dive into this story.

  12

  I fell into step next to the dark wizard, latching onto his arm as I gently prodded him to increase his pace. Surprise registered on his lean, scarred face, which was only partially concealed inside the charcoal hoodie he wore beneath a mid-length black leather overcoat.

  “You never fail to amaze, Belladonna. I thought I’d kept this trip under wraps.”

  “Keep walking, act normal, but pick it up a bit. We’re being watched,” I whispered as we headed out of the terminals at Santiago de Compostela Airport.

  While the airport itself was a modern, high-ceilinged metal and glass structure, it was small, consisting of only one terminal with six gates. Galicia was a sizable Spanish province, and Santiago de Compostela was its regional capital. But we were still a backwater tourist destination, no matter how the city and region’s leaders tried to show otherwise. That meant we’d have few opportunities to shake our tail. I’d have to time this properly, else we’d end up creating a scene and be detained by a
irport security—which was what the mouros wanted.

  And that simply would not do. The Anjana did not take failure lightly. She was a powerful fae witch who had bound my family to her service centuries ago, and she was every bit as ruthless and unforgiving as Queen Maeve back in Austin. She didn’t like it when we attracted attention from the authorities, so the less trouble we caused shaking this tail, the better.

  “I’m happy to see you’re okay. You had us worried. But how did you know I was coming?” Crowley asked.

  “Oh, I have my ways,” I replied, trying to avoid staring at the scars the burns had left on his face and hand. I hadn’t seen him since it had happened, and in a way, I’d been complicit in causing the chain of events that had led to his… accident? Yes, I suppose that was as good a description as any for what had occurred.

  The wizard had once been my partner at the Cold Iron Circle—and, briefly, my lover. Crowley and I hadn’t parted on the best of terms, so to have him here next to me now was a bit uncomfortable. The fact that he had once tried to kill my current boyfriend made the situation even more prickly.

  “Since when have you cared to delve into the arts arcane?” he asked, as a sly smile crept across his ruined face. Hell and damnation, but he’d been beautiful once.

  But now? Children pointed and stared, and parents pulled them away from the deformed man in the hood. The wizard, to his credit, did his best to ignore them. But I could see the tightness around his eyes as he pulled his hood down to better cover his face.

  “I’ll explain it all to you, but later. Right now, we need to shake our tail.” We were coming up to the service entrance I’d prepared earlier as a secondary escape route. One of our contacts in the city had a cousin who worked at the airport, and they’d arranged to get me a keycard with limited access to the baggage processing areas. It would have to do.