Best Jerk

by Lulu Pratt

  CHAPTER NINE

  KATE

  “Should we put Titus Evans next to Charlotte DeVine? They play nice in public, but her publicist says she hates him.” Lily plays with the cardboard name plates on the magnetic whiteboard. “His publicist says everything is fine.”

  “They can suck it up for an evening. Everyone wants to see them together. They did that Egyptian gods movie together last year, they can deal. It’s Hollywood. Nothing is real.” I throw a pen across the table and watch it spin.

  Not like I’m bitter or anything. Not like this is a direct correlation to my life. No big deal.

  “Well then,” Lily clicks her tongue and gives me her patented look. “Projecting much?”

  I scowl and go back to moving pieces around the board. This town has more drama than the silver screen. Everyone hates everyone. Everyone slept with someone else’s agent or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend or sister or whoever. Grudges line the streets thicker than the stars in front of the Chinese theater.

  “I’m just saying, if we need to talk about David…”

  “No.” I immediately shut her down. “No. This is not about my hatred for David, okay? We clearly were a shit match and made each other miserable. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I’m honest, I stopped liking the asshole more than a year ago. Still, there was a duty there, a respect there, and he violated it.”

  “He did, because he sucks.”

  “More than that. He’s a user, Lil. He used me for my money and my resources. Now, he wants to try to take everything. I thought, if nothing else, we were partners. We weren’t. He took advantage of my trust and my love. He convinced me I had nothing to worry about. He convinced me a prenup said we didn’t have faith in what we could accomplish. He convinced me he was loyal. He is a fucking liar.”

  “Limp as the dick in his pants.” Lily agrees and raises her seltzer water in a mock toast. “He’s garbage and he’ll get what he deserves, Kate. It’ll take time, but it will happen.”

  “It better.” I mutter and shove Titus and Charlotte together. “They are sitting together.”

  “Okay, okay. Fine.” Lily makes a note in our notebook. “Everyone plays nice at charity galas anyway. If they don’t, people start to see the real them under the shiny Hollywood veneer.”

  “That veneer sucks, too.”

  I kick off my shoes and pace around the room, trying to focus back on planning for this event. I don’t want to think about David. I really don’t want to think about Eric and how good he looked with his clothes off in the hotel room. I most especially don’t want to think about how badly I wanted him to rip off my clothes until I caught wind of the lipstick on his cheek.

  No one in this city is loyal. No one but Lily.

  “Oh!” Lily snaps her fingers and shakes me out of my stewing. “The caterer confirmed they can do a raw bar. You know, for the petite actress looking to lose fifty pounds so she can play a twelve-year-old girl as a thirty-year-old woman.”

  “Great. If they bitch about the food again, I might scream.”

  Lily bites down on her straw and watches me pace. When I look over at her, her look intensifies. The same look that says, “I know what you are thinking”.

  “What?”

  “You need to get laid.”

  “Tried that, remember? It failed miserably. Nobody wants Kate McArthur. They all want David. Story of my life. Now, can we get back to the seating arrangement?”

  “You two aren’t married, Kate. Eric isn’t beholden to you.”

  “I know that.”

  “Do you, though?” She eases out of her chair and blocks my path. “I know you’re now laden with trust issues and that’s totally understandable, but you aren’t together. He doesn’t owe you anything. He probably thought you were trying to work the system.”

  “That’s exactly what I was doing, remember?” Not like I’d like to sit here and rehash this again and again and again…

  “Right. But you let those hurt feelings cloud your judgment. I know you don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want that, either. But maybe the resentment is misplaced. Eric is a single guy who is notorious for sleeping around. He’s not David because he’s not promised to someone. You could go out and sleep with four different men today, and none of that would matter because you aren’t promised to any of those four, either.”

  I frown at her. “I don’t like it when you talk sense to me.”

  “You love it.” She kisses my cheek. “It’s why you keep me around.”

  “That and you’re an excellent seat assigner.”

  Lily curtsies. Hannah comes in with a massive flower bouquet and sets it down on the table. Two dozen stargazers — my favorite flower. My entire body immediately tenses.

  “This was left for you.” Hannah grins at me. “No name on the note. I called the flower shop, though. They refused to tell me who it was, but did confirm it wasn’t David.”

  “It could be his assistant.” I scowl, even though part of me is melting. David hadn’t sent me flowers in years, but when he did, it was always roses. I check the note. “Meet me at Descanso Gardens this Friday at five. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  Lily and Hannah both stare, open-mouthed and start squealing.

  “That is so romantic!” Hannah gushes.

  “Fuck romantic, that’s sexy.” Lily grabs my arm. “What if it’s Eric?”

  “Who’s Eric?” Hannah asks.

  “No one.” We say in tandem. Hannah grins but steps out of the room and closes the door to give us privacy, because she’s the best assistant anyone could ask for.

  “But seriously.” Lily lowers her voice. “What if it is?”

  “That’s absurd.” I shake my head, unable to believe the man who glares at me across the table twice a week would send me flowers. “I mean, that’s insane… right? He only agreed to meet me because I bought him alcohol and he was probably drunk. I mean, he was drunk. We obviously couldn’t have sex and he probably, hopefully, remembers nothing.”

  “Or. Or.” Lily draws the word out. “He was devastated that you kicked him out and is trying to seduce you now. You need to go!”

  “It’s in a public place when the sun is up. I can’t do that.” I shake my head more to convince myself than anything else. Because I want it to be Eric and I want to go, but I can’t. “Vivian would kill me.”

  “So be quiet about it. Wear a hat. Fuck him in the bathroom.”

  “Lily!”

  “Bathroom sex is hot. Or find a quiet spot around Descanso and fuck him by a tree or a pond. That’s super sexy.”

  It is super sexy. My entire body runs warm just thinking about it. Having him throw up my skirt and press me up against a tree, or lay me down by the water and kiss my entire body while people walk past, none the wiser of what was happening? God help me, I’d die.

  I take a deep breath so I don’t lose myself before my best friend.

  “It has been a really long time.” I admit slowly. “I mean, a really long time since I’ve had anything good.”

  “That last time with David doesn’t count. You need a good fucking. So go!”

  I think about the night before mediation started, how he showed up and begged me for one last night together. How terrible it all was.

  “Okay.” I nod slowly and slip the note into my wallet. “I’ll do it.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  ERIC

  “Can you see me okay?” I shade my eyes and look across the park grounds. Unnecessary with my dark shades, but it added to the spy vibe. “Do I need to move?”

  “I see you fine,” comes a slightly static-y voice over my Bluetooth ear piece. “I’ll go radio silence when she shows up.”

  “I would hope so. The less she knows, the better.”

  “I’m not an idiot.”

  “Debatable.”

  “I’ll remember that the next time you try to pull some shady shit like this.” Paxton chuckles, the static making him sound like a creepy circ
us clown.

  “What the hell are you doing that’s making this connection so bad?”

  “It’s fucking Descanso, man. It’s a signal blackhole. Way to pick some place terrible. This is further proof you’re a shitty attorney.”

  “Fuck off. I’m turning this shit off. Just make sure you get some good shots.” I depress the button on my ear buds and drop them into my shirt pocket.

  It’s been a while since I’ve pulled this sort of sting, and I only do it in desperate-measure situations. The women usually know it’s me in the photo and are too ashamed to say anything, but a few have guessed the set-up. I need pictures, not to be reported.

  Kate, though, is a situation I still haven’t worked out. She’s been eye-fucking me for weeks, that was obvious. I’m much more covert about the entire thing because I’m a professional, no matter what the Attorney General likes to think. The late-night jack-off sessions to her naked beach pictures obviously don’t count.

  But then she invited me to her hotel room. That isn’t unusual. The fact I can’t scrape her from my brain is. Probably because her ex is a giant douche who makes me look like the damn pope and everyone, everyone, knows she’s too good for him. Probably.

  “I knew it was you, but that still doesn’t make this any less surprising.”

  I turn to find Kate staring with a slight smirk, dimples already bright. She’s wearing leggings and an airy tunic with gold sandals and a floppy hat. Standard Los Angeles fare. It looks better on her than most of the plebes I’ve seen trotting through the streets.

  “What gave me away?” I drop my sunglasses a touch to gaze at her sans filter. She’s flushed and beautiful in a way that pains me, but also lets me know this entire venture is going to be highly enjoyable.

  “Just a hunch.” Her smile sparkles in the early-evening sun. “Are those for me?”

  “A bit presumptuous, wouldn’t you say?” I hide a bouquet of flowers, identical to the ones I sent her, behind my back. “They are for a very beautiful, very deserving woman.”

  “I’ll let you know if I see one around, then.”

  I pantomime searching through the grounds and walk in a small circle. When I stop in front of her, I give her a lengthy once-over and present the bouquet.

  “I’ve searched far and wide for a beautiful, deserving woman. These are for you.”

  Kate laughs quietly and accepts the flowers with a curtsy. I extend my arm and she takes it, like two lovers going on a stroll. It is exactly the look I’m going for, but I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I am.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Not far.” I say vaguely and glance at her again from the corner of my eye. She’s wearing oversized sunglasses and a floppy hat, presumably as some sort of cover. I feel like I should be carrying a cane. It would certainly come in handy in the bedroom later.

  We stop at my favorite secluded area of Descanso. A full picnic spread is laid out with a chilled bottle of wine, a cheese platter and strawberries. I didn’t know what was in it until I set it up because I made Geoff put it together.

  I told him I had a hot date and he was on it like fish on a hot dog. Little Geoff is very easy to manipulate. Kate doesn’t feel the same way. There is an iron gate up between us. Which is to say, she’s very different from the other exes I’ve banged.

  I shake it off and offer her a place to sit.

  “Fancy.” She sits down delicately. Everything about her looks so purposeful, important. She’s more than gorgeous with a sharp tongue, she’s intentional. I don’t like it.

  “I thought it was fitting.” I sit next to her and pour two glasses of Pinot Grigio. “I understand this is your favorite? I noticed a few bottles at the hotel room.”

  “Oh my God.” Kate’s hands fly to her face and she looks mortified. “I was hoping you wouldn’t remember any of that.”

  “Quite the contrary.” I lean in and clink our glasses together. My gaze remains trained on her, hot and pressing. I want her to really feel it. “I dream often about how stunning you were on that chaise. My only regret is how badly I botched it.”

  “I guess you didn’t understand.” Kate clears her throat and takes a big gulp of wine. “I’m sorry about that. The whole situation shouldn’t have happened. Like right now.”

  “Why?” I lean in a little more, telling myself it’s just for the pictures. “What’s wrong with right now?”

  “You’re David’s lawyer.” Kate deadpans. “You’re the enemy.”

  “You’re just looking at it wrong.” I brush a thick strand of hair from her shoulder and her cheeks redden. “In a courtroom? Maybe. I’m only doing what I’m paid to do, just like your lawyer. Vivian and I are friends outside of the office. You and I can certainly be the same.”

  “Is that what all this? Being friendly?”

  I offer a deep, quiet laugh and run my thumb across her cheek. She sits frozen but I can hear her heartbeat racing. My pants tighten as I breathe her in. She smells like sex and promises. She smells like I want to taste.

  The things I want to do to her under these trees. Forget the crowds. I would gladly splay her before God and country to run my tongue across her lips.

  “I think we both know there is a lot of tension between us.” I whisper in her ear and she shivers. “And I think you deserve to have a real man work your body. My pathetic excuse for a client wouldn’t know where the clitoris is if he had a map.”

  “True.” Kate whispers.

  “I’ve felt the way you stare at me in the office, Kate. I don’t give a shit about clients or money or cases. Right now, I want to give you what you’ve always been lacking.”

  She’s silent for a very long moment, eyes closed and breath still. She finally licks her red lips and turns to look at me, bright blue eyes shining, but untrusting.

  “I know your reputation.”

  Internally, I groan. Sometimes that reputation comes in handy, like random girls at the bar knowing how big my dick is. This was less than desirable.

  “My reputation means nothing. You want a clean slate. I want to be the eraser.”

  “Why.” It’s a demand, not a question. I like that.

  “Because you’re too good for that sack of shit. Because I’ve been dreaming about making this body shiver under mine for a month, Kate.”

  She leans in, our noses practically touching, our breaths shared. Her eyes go hooded and soft, like I’ve finally punched the winning combination to unlock her Pandora’s box.

  “I have a room around the corner.”

  I grin. “I’ll drive.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  KATE

  We are on each other before the elevator doors close. Doubts flooded my mind the whole way here, but every hesitation melted the moment he pressed my shoulders against the elevator walls.

  “I’m going to destroy you,” he warns. His eyes are dark, a growing storm looming within him. “I’m not gentle. Not in the courtroom, not in real life, not in the bedroom.”

  “You don’t scare me.” I whisper back.

  “I should.”

  “Déjà vu.” I offer a small smile, but the rest of me is wound up tight, waiting for his next move. “Maybe I need danger.”

  He stares at me, intense and full of meaning I don’t yet know. His jaw works for a second, mulling over the things he wants to say to me, but nothing crosses his lips. Instead, his mouth claims mine.

  And

  I

  Dissipate.

  There is no other word, no other sensation. Everything in my brain, for the first time in months, becomes silent and dark. In this tiny elevator car, my world hits the reset button. He is rough, just like promised, but there’s an undercurrent of sweetness there.

  He fists my hair and we kiss like we need oxygen. We kiss like it’s the only way to keep the Earth spinning. We kiss like it is the single thing we’ve been lacking in our lives for entirely too long.

  It’s terrifying. It’s perfect. I need more.

  W
e tumble out into the hallway. I grab his hand with a grin and pull him to the left, past the gilded picture frames and the art pieces the hotel swears were contracted by local artists but were really bought en masse from China. It is the perfect metaphor. We pass the fake shit dressed in gold to indulge in something real.

  If he fucks with the same fervor he kisses, anyway.

  Eric stops me from using the card key, his hand engulfing mine, pressing me to the door. His other hand slides around and grabs my ass. His body presses against mine, the hard length in his jeans making a sizable impression. Slowly, he lowers our hands until the card key opens the door. He walks us back into the wall and hurls the key across the room.

  My tunic dangles from the chair no less than ten seconds after we cross the threshold and his hands grasp my breasts. He squeezes and hefts them like fruit he’s considering for purchase.

  “I pictured you as more of a leather girl.” He murmurs in my ear. “All this lace doesn’t feel like you.”

  “Everyone knows I’m a lace girl.”

  “The real you.” He growls and my bra follows my tunic.

  “You don’t know the real me.” My lip quivers but my voice is steady. It betrays every cell in my body, the ones yearning to be lost in the sea that is his.

  “I can see the you you think you hide.” He bites my lower lip. “You are translucent before me, Kate.”

  “And what do you see?”

  He holds my gaze again and runs a finger down my cheek. Instead of answering my question, he picks me up and lays me on the bed. Eric kisses my collar bone, the valley between my breasts, my stomach. His mouth hovers over my center just long enough to make me crazy. He slowly exhales over me, warmth covering my most sensitive spaces, and kisses my stomach once again.

  Eric goes back to my breasts, rolling each nipple between his fingers. He plays my body like a piano, fingers gently tapping out a beautiful melody across multiple keys at once. It’s a moment longer before his mouth takes my nipple.

  It’s instant euphoria. I can’t hear anything, see anything, feel anything other than his tongue and teeth flicking across each nipple in rapid succession. One of his arms slides under my torso and the other works my leggings until they are off my body, leaving me completely exposed.