Love's Illusion
Page 15
Nash is taken off guard by my question and looks down at the floor.
“I just think it’s interesting. You’re putting yourself through this entire workout routine because you’re worried he might not like the way you look.”
I place the cap back on my water bottle and shrug my shoulders.
“The avatar I use in the game where Chad and I met – she’s nothing like me. She’s bold, adventurous, with a killer body. I just figure by getting into shape, I might minimize his disappointment when we meet face-to-face.”
Nash looks at me with annoyance. “You’re pathetic.”
“Excuse me,” I respond, shocked.
Nash shoots me a stern look. “You moved to Los Angeles – without knowing anyone – to pursue your dream. That’s pretty fuckin’ bold. You’ve built your own video game from scratch. In my opinion, taking on a creative project of that size is pretty fuckin’ adventurous. And when it comes to your body: embrace the curves. Some guys like a really curvy woman.”
“Maybe in romance books,” I counter. “But the guys where I work, they like the classic body type: big boobs, narrow hips – ”
“Those guys are tools. Losers,” says Nash cutting me off.
“Well, what about you?”
“What about me?”
I place my hands on my wide hips. “Do you like a woman with curves? Someone who looks like me?” I can’t believe I just asked him that. I don’t know what’s come over me.
Nash looks at me and nods slowly. “I do.”
We remain locked in a stare. Then I shake my head. I find it hard to believe that someone who looks like Nash would find a woman like me attractive.
“I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
Nash reaches for his cell phone. He begins searching for something.
“What are you looking for?”
“A picture of my ex-girlfriend. Here.”
Nash hands me his phone. I glance down and see a picture of him embracing a woman with my body type. I look up in shock.
“Everyone has a different type, Flo,” he says softly. “Don’t let what one guy thinks about you – or some losers at work – dictate your whole life.”
I hand Nash back his phone, speechless.
We stare at each other. Is there something happening here? Does he like me? Then suddenly, that hard expression returns to Nash’s face. “Now give me ten push-ups.”
I roll my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” Nash snaps. “Give me ten push-ups, or I’ll make you do twenty more squats.”
Huffing, I lower myself to the floor.
“Why’d you two break up?” I ask him on my third pushup.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Okay.”
I begin singing Prince’s “Little Red Corvette” as I continue my push-ups. It’s hard to believe that two months ago, I could barely do three pushups without running out of breath. Now, I’m singing as I do them.
“I was an asshole,” Nash says out of nowhere. “I’ve pretty much been an asshole for the last three years, since the accident,” he admits.
“Maybe it’s time you change. Maybe she’ll take you back.”
“That ship has sailed,” he replies. “She’s married to some guy back home.” He pauses, then asks, “I’m not that much of an asshole, am I?”
As I finish push-up number eight, I say, “When we first met. I thought you were a dick. But now that I know you, I don’t think that. You’re cool.”
“Thanks, Flo. You’re cool, too.”
“Thanks, Nash.”
I collapse onto the yoga matt and look at him with a grin. “All done.”
Nash shakes his head. “No, you’re not. You owe me two more.”
I’ve been caught. “Damn, I thought you weren’t counting.”
I give him two more pushups, as Juliette steps into the living room. She appears to be floating on cloud nine. She collapses onto the sofa with a huge smile on her face.
“I think I’m in love,” she proclaims.
“With a client?” asks Nash.
Juliette nods. “I know… very cliché. But I can’t help it. The heart knows what it wants, Nash. C’est la vie.”
“What’s this guy’s name?” he asks.
“Mr. Starbuck.”
“His real name?”
Juliette sighs. “That, I don’t know yet.”
“Does he know your name?” Nash inquires.
Juliette shakes her head. “No. Not yet.”
“But you two are in love?” Nash teases sarcastically.
Juliette rolls her eyes. “Nash, love doesn’t need names.”
“Of course not. It just needs an internet connection,” he quips.
Juliette sticks her tongue out at him, and Nash laughs in response.
“Why are you two still working out?” Juliette then asks. “Weren’t you both in the pool earlier today?”
“To get the results Flo wants, we need to do double workouts some days. Especially since she cheated on her diet and had spaghetti with meatballs last night.”
“Oh, were those your spaghetti and meatballs, Flo?” asks Juliette. “I finished them off for lunch today. I hope you don’t mind. They were delicious. What Italian restaurant did you order them from? I want more.”
Nash and I share a look. “They’re not from a restaurant. Nash made them for me last night.”
Juliette looks at Nash with a sly smile. “Well, well, Mr. Nash. Aren’t you full of surprises? We’ve had a chef in our house this entire time – and to think I’ve been living off salads. That’s not very nice of you, Nash.”
“I’m not a chef,” Nash argues. He points his finger at me and tries to change the conversation. “Last night’s dinner is your only cheat meal for the rest of the month. Is that understood? That means no carbs this week, right?”
“Right,” I say with a nod.
“You guys are too… what’s the word? Hardcore. Too hardcore for me,” whines Juliette.
Nash shakes his head. “This coming from a webcam girl.”
We hear the front door open. Selena steps into the living room. She looks rattled.
“What’s wrong with you?” asks Juliette.
Selena plops down on the sofa next to Juliette, her face despondent.
“I just broke up with Matt.”
“Really? I thought you liked him,” I say.
“I did. I do.”
“And that’s a problem?” Juliette asks.
Selena nods as she turns to Juliette. “Yes.”
“Women are so confusing,” mutters Nash with a shake of his head.
“Nash, I almost got mugged tonight,” says Selena with a frightened look in her eyes.
“Shit, seriously?” says Nash.
Selena nods. Juliette immediately puts her hand on her shoulder.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“I’m alright,” says Selena taking a deep breath. “These two guys tried to mug me. But Matt showed up and scared them away with his gun.”
“Good thing he had one,” Nash boasts.
Selena looks at him, annoyed. “Not you, too?”
Nash shrugs. “I’m from Texas, remember? I grew up with guns.”
“So, I’m confused. The night Matt saved your life, you broke up with him? C’est fini?” asks Juliette.
Selena throws her head back on the couch. “I can’t fall in love with someone who is the diametrical opposite of me in so many of my core beliefs.”
“Diametrical?” asks Juliette, confused.
“She just means they’re complete opposites,” I tell her.
Juliette nods. “Ahh. Merci, Flo.”
Selena looks at each of us. “He’s a conservative Republican. I’m a liberal. He believes in the right to bear arms. I think we need a serious ban in this country on firearms. When people believe in such different viewpoints, things can’t work between them, not in the long r
un.”
Nash shrugs. “I don’t know. My parents are ideologically the same, and I’m pretty sure they hate each other now.”
“Mine too,” says Juliette. “They believe the same thing all the time – politically, religiously. But my mother still threatens my dad with a knife whenever he comes home late.”
“Why does Matt have to be so different?” complains Selena. “He doesn’t even have tattoos. Not one. Everyone has a tattoo these days.”
“I don’t have any,” I reveal.
“Not helpful, Flo,” she mutters.
I scurry forward and grab Selena’s hand. “Maybe this will help,” I tell her. “I know you two believe in different things. But the fact that you feel such a strong connection, might mean it’s something special. With all the online dating apps and stuff, people just want to be with someone that fits their tribe, someone who resembles them fundamentally. As a result, we don’t connect with different kinds of people, people that might actually help us grow. Maybe the fact that you and Matt are so different will actually help you both grow as individuals.”
“Wow, that was deep,” says Nash.
“Very deep,” adds Juliette. “You must have some French in you.”
“It wasn’t that deep, was it?” I ask.
“It was,” confirms Nash.
Juliette rubs Selena’s back. “It’s all going to work out,” she assures her. “If you’re meant to be, you’re meant to be. If not, c’est la vie.”
Selena sighs. “The thing that’s really fucked me up is this: When he came to my rescue, I felt so turned on. Which really pisses me off, because I consider myself an independent woman – someone who doesn’t need a man to come to her rescue. But when I saw him holding that gun, pointing it at those two guys, and scaring them off, my attraction to Matt went through the roof.”
“A man rescuing you from trouble is very sexy,” says Juliette with a nod. “I bet you wanted him to fuck you right there, in the street.”
Selena turns to Juliette and admits, “I did. And that’s what really freaked me out. Everything I thought I knew about myself went straight out the window. I reverted to a teenage girl in awe of this guy who came to my rescue. Matt’s the only decent guy I’ve dated in years. Why the fuck did he have to be a conservative Republican?!”
Selena lays her head against Juliette’s shoulder and begins to cry. I join her on the sofa and comfort her as well.
“Okay, this is my cue to leave,” Nash chimes in. “This is getting way too emotional for me.”
“Goodnight,” says Selena through her sobs.
Juliette and I say goodnight to him as well.
Chapter 36
The following day, I’m sitting in the cafeteria at work – eating alone – when Parker and Ajax take a seat across from me.
“What’s up Flo?” asks Parker with a grin.
“How’s it going?” adds Ajax with a smile just as wide.
“Alright,” I say slightly suspicious.
Ajax leans in across the table. “Listen, I think we might have given you the wrong impression – by the way we’ve been acting, and some of the stuff we’ve been saying.”
Parker nods. “It was just sexist. We should have been more thoughtful.”
“This is a work environment, after all,” Ajax chimes in.
Parker nods and adds, “And some of the stuff we said was just – ”
“Immature,” Ajax interjects.
“Very immature,” reiterates Parker.
“Thanks guys,” I reply, still not sure why they are telling me this now. But I appreciate it, regardless, and let them know.
“No problem,” says Ajax.
I notice a look exchanged between them.
“Was there something else?” I ask.
Ajax leans in again and whispers, “Well, we heard about your game, and how it’s really good. We were wondering if we could maybe come on board and help you out. I’m a great coder and Parker likes design.”
Parker nods vigorously. “I’m very good at design. Very good.”
“Wait, how’d you guys find out about my game?”
Ajax looks a little surprised by my question. “We saw Josh showing your demo to someone,” he tells me. “Josh said you guys were partners. He said he came up with the idea and was working with you to develop it.”
I’m shocked and shout, “He said what?!”
Everyone in the cafeteria looks in our direction.
“Yeah,” confirms Ajax. “I love the title, by the way. The Killing Forest. That’s an awesome title. So anyway, do you think there might be a spot on your production team? Parker and I would really like to fast track our way out of game testing.”
I get up from my chair, furious.
“Is everything alright?” Parker asks.
“No,” I hiss. “Everything is certainly not alright.”
I leave the cafeteria and walk toward Josh’s office. He’s talking to someone, but I don’t care if I interrupt him. I knock on his door and step inside.
“Hey, Flo,” he says surprised, as I barge in.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Uh, sure thing.”
Josh turns to the other guy in his office.
“I’ll come by your desk when we’re done here,” he tells him.
The guy leaves Josh’s office.
“Take a seat, Flo.” He motions to a chair in front of his desk, but I prefer to stand.
“I hear you’ve been showing people my demo.”
Josh shrugs his shoulders. “Just to some people I thought might be interested in coming on board and helping out.”
I shake my head. “That’s not all I heard. I hear you’re telling everyone we’re partners. And that you came up with the idea for the game and changed the name to The Killing Forest.”
Josh looks at me and smiles. “It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? The Killing Forest.”
“It’s a fuckin’ stupid title,” I snap back.
Josh is surprised by reaction. “Easy there, Flo.”
I point my finger at him. “You don’t have the right to tell people you’re part of the game, when I didn’t agree to anything yet.”
Josh sighs. “I just assumed it was a matter of time. You need me, Flo. Nobody is going to take you seriously. You’re just an intern.”
“But it’s my game.”
“What matters in this industry is connections,” Josh replies.
“What about talent?” I counter.
Josh shrugs. “That only gets you so far. That’s where I can help you out.”
Now, I’m really frustrated. “I just don’t think it’s right that you’re telling people you helped create the game, when you haven’t done anything.”
“But if I’m invested in this, people will take the whole thing more seriously.”
I stare at Josh and realize I can’t trust him.
“I’m sorry, Josh. But I don’t think I want you to be involved in my game. And I would really appreciate it if you stopped showing people my demo. And telling them you helped create it.”
Josh is shocked. “Seriously?”
I nod firmly. “Yes.”
His eyes narrow. “Fine.”
I feel a cold iceberg suddenly slide between us. With nothing left to say, I leave Josh’s office and return to my workstation. I begin game testing. I’m happy I stood up to Josh, but wonder if I just cost myself my career.
Ajax and Parker return from lunch.
“How’s it going, Flo?” asks Parker.
“I just fucked myself,” I admit.
“Like in the bathroom?” he asks confused.
I roll my eyes.
“What did I say?” Parker asks, sensing my frustration.
“We talked about this, dude,” says Ajax. “Remember? What might be considered crossing the line.”
Parker now realizes his misstep. “You’re right.” He turns to me and apologizes. “Flo, I didn’t mean to insinuate you were masturbati
ng in the bathroom.”
I look at them and grumble, “Will you two please just shut up.”
Chapter 37
After breaking up with Matt, Selena has pretty much sequestered herself in her bedroom. She’s been working on her music day and night. She listens to her latest composition, which she thinks will be perfect for Flo’s video game. Thankfully, her cast will be removed in a week. She can’t wait. It’s been nearly four weeks since she last saw Matt. But she’s thought about him every day.
I miss him, but I made the right decision, she convinces herself. Right now is a critical time in my life. I don’t have much money, and I really want to get my career as a DJ off the ground. I can’t afford to spend valuable time on a relationship that – on paper – doesn’t look like it will work. I know that sounds ruthless, but I think you have to be when you’re chasing your dream. You can’t have it all.
Selena receives a text message. She glances at her phone. It’s from Matt, who else. He’s been sending her messages every day since they broke up.
Matt: Hope you’re doing well. Still missing u.
Selena sighs and fights the urge to text him back. But it’s so fuckin’ hard, she tells herself. I miss seeing him. But I have to be strong. Even though it’s undeniable there is an attraction between us – I know we won’t work.
Selena sets her phone down on her desk. She goes back to working on the music for Flo’s video game. Twenty minutes later, she looks at her phone and picks it up. She’s about to type something, but changes her mind.
You have to stay strong, she reminds herself.
She sets her phone down and gets back to work on her music.
Chapter 38
“Raise that back leg higher, Flo. Good. Now go back to standing position. Take a break.”
Nash and I are working out in the pool again. After finishing my rep, I swim to the pool’s edge. I grab a water bottle and take a sip.
“I’ve been thinking about cooking a lot lately,” Nash admits.
I turn and look at him. “That’s good. I’ve been thinking about eating.”
Nash smirks and shakes his head. Then he looks at me seriously.
“Don’t bullshit me, Flo. Do you really think I’m good enough to pursue cooking, for real?”