Persona

by Amy Lunderman

  Moira still feels worried as she steps through the narrow machine and walks through the door.

  Clear of anything metal or illegal, Moira rejoins the bustle of a regular hallway. With her shoulders hunched, she reaches into her bag for her schedule. She memorized it the night before, but feels better knowing she won’t walk to the wrong room or something. Her first class is history, on the second floor. So she hurries toward the stairs off to the right. She makes it to the classroom just before the bell rings. Eye’s follow her as she finds an empty seat in the back. She notices that the eyes belong to the dark haired boy from the bus. He watches her from the other side of the room intently. Blushing, she quickly looks away.

  Slouching in her wooden deck chair, she tries to appear as unthreatening as possible, and plans to do this for the rest of the day. It works for her for the most part too, just going from one to the next class with no trouble. Not really looking at anyone, and no one really cares to look at her. That is until she goes to lunch. Usually Moira would bring her own lunch, just to avoid the line to buffet food, but she was running late. So, now she stands in line and the smell of the various food stings her nose. She can feel her persona under her skin, as if the food is a threat or something. Snickering to herself, she thinks the food is probably dangerous, most school food is. Having just grabbed some sort of meatloaf medley, she makes her way to the woman cashier. She’s just about to step up to her, when a girl that’s all blonde hair steps in front of her to get to the register first.

  In surprise, Moira tries to stop before she smacks into the girl, and only succeeds in spilling her tray of food on her. Screeching, the girl spins around to glare at her, and Moira cringes as the meatloaf gravy slides down the girls once pink tank top. The cafeteria goes quiet, and Moira wishes a black hole would swallow her up.

  “What is your problem freak?” The girl in front of her yells.

  Moira notices that she has the look of someone popular, with the long blonde hair and expensive looking clothes. She also notices a group of similar looking girls coming over to them, and she assumes they must be her click. Not good she thinks, all she needs is to get the notice of the popular girls, and not the good kind of notice.

  “Sorry…” Moira stammers. “…but you came out of nowhere.”

  Clearly this is not what the other girl wants to hear, since her eyes go large in rage. Her friends are trying to clean the mess of her, as the cashier lady signals someone behind the counter to get the mess on the floor.

  “I, came out of nowhere? I was giving change back, and was supposed to be here. You, on the other hand, were in the way.” She seethes.

  Not wanting to start anything, Moira says “I didn’t mean anything by it. I swear. Let me pay for your dry cleaning or something?”

  “Oh you’ll pay all right.” She says over her shoulder. She walks away with her group of friends, all glaring at her.

  Standing in the same spot, Moira can only feel humiliated as the room slowly fills back up with conversation. All about her, she knows, and can feel her cheeks reddening. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she jumps about a foot in the air, before turning. It’s a dark haired girl holding two trays, and with a smile she holds one of them out to her. Moira doesn’t even know what to say, so taking the tray with a smile, she pays the cashier without any other disaster. That is if you don’t count the seating situation, which Moira does. Coming to a stop in front of the large room with rectangle tables, they are already mostly filled with people. Standing there like an idiot, she doesn’t know where to go from here, especially after what just happened.

  “Don’t panic. This sort of thing happens daily around here.” The brunette that gave her a tray a moment ago says. She points to a table across the room. “You can sit with my friends and me, if you want. I mean, any enemy of Quinn’s is a friend of ours. Come on. I’m Raven by the by.”

  Moira nods. “Thanks. I’m Moira.”

  Following Raven, she makes her way across the room and between the other tables. Near the back by itself is a table holding three other people, a girl and two guys. She notices that this particular table is away from the others, and wonders why for a moment. Then she sees that one of the guys, is the kid from the bus. She knows right away that that they are all like her, and finds it funny that when she’s decided to hide who she is, they are who she gets introduced too first.

  “Hey guys, this is Moira, the new enemy of Quinn and the Quintets. I said she could sit with us. All right?” Raven says as she sits next to the dark haired guy.

  A blonde girl with a bright smile nods enthusiastically and says, “More the merrier, have a seat. I’m Daisy.”

  Daisy scoots over, and nudges the blonde guy beside her to move. Smiling, he dramatically moves aside and waves to Moira to sit down. Hesitantly, she sits down beside Daisy and places her tray down on the table.

  “I’m Ray, by the way.” The blonde guy says as he leans around Daisy to get a look at her.

  Blushing Moira waves at him, she’s never been so nervous meeting new people than she is right now. Timidly she picks at what’s on her tray, not really seeing what it is.

  “Dude, your such a weirdo. ‘I’m Ray, by the way.’ You do know that rhymed right?” The dark haired guy says with a chuckle.

  “Shut it, Martin.” Ray says, as his face goes red and he leans back so Moira can’t see him.

  “Marty, not Martin, and we go way back. Isn’t that right Moira?” He says with a leer.

  “Oh? Do tell you secretive little vixen.” Raven asks as she leans on the table, and looks between Moira and Marty.

  “We rode the same bus this morning, and I think we have a class together.” Moira says.

  “Yup, friends till the end, we are.” Marty says.

  Raven laughs at Marty, and smacks his shoulder, but he just smirks at her. Moira only just meeting them, can already tell they are all pretty close. You’d have to be, to be able to mock one another with ease.

  “Stop it, you guys. You’re going to make Moira, think we’re all nuts or something.” Daisy faces Moira with a sympathetic look. “They can be weird, but are nice. Trust me.”

  For the rest of lunch, Moira gets to know them, but mostly sits quietly listening to them banter with one another. She takes them all in, and is glad that she met them. Raven seems like a very strong personality that makes Moira comfortable. The girl is taller than her, and is all curves. She wonders if she wears clothes too small for her, or if they just fit that way on her. Her face is all sharp angles, and she has dark brown eyes, that match her hair. Seeing her you’d think emo, but her smile is too bright to make her too dark.

  Daisy is like Raven’s polar opposite, she’s just a waif of a girl. Her hair is a light blonde, and it hangs down her back in long waves. Her eyes are a sparkling blue, and make her face almost glow. She has the aura of someone who is carefree, but Moira can sense something in her. Like she may have been hurt in the past, and is still trying to get through it. She likes her instantly.

  The blonde guy, Ray, could be Daisy’s twin since he has similar light hair and eyes. But where Daisy is small, he’s very large. Taller than Moira, he is very muscular and his biceps push against his shirt. For such a big guy, you’d get the impression he could be mean, that is till you see his face. His hair is just as wavy as Daisy’s, and it falls into his eyes, so much so that he tosses it with a smile often. His face is so bright and free, and it makes Moira feel it would be easy to goof around with him. Like nothing in the world bothers him at all.

  Across from her is Marty, and now she can actually give him a once over. He’s the exact opposite of Ray, being the dark to his light. His hair is almost two shades of brown, making it a cross between brown and black. His eyes are a deep shade of green that makes his face shadowed. Even with his ease of picking on the others, he comes off as very private and hollow. That is until he grins though, and he makes it seem like a smirk with hidden secrets.

  What makes Moira calm is the fact they
befriended her right away, not caring that she’s new and could be different from them. As Raven and Daisy talk about they’re next class together, she looks around the lunch room. Along the back wall, she notices there are some upper classman with clip boards scanning the cafeteria. They’re eyes float back, to Moira’s table a lot, and she wonders what they are looking for.

  Marty noticing her watching them, says, “What do you think of our very own, crime stoppers?”

  Looking back to Marty, Moira says, “Crime stoppers…for what?”

  “For us, the freaks, or in they’re eyes the monsters. They keep an eye on all the students with MBS, to make sure we keep on the straight and narrow.”

  “You’ve never seen them before? I thought they were everywhere.” Raven asks, after Marty was done.

  “I went to a private school in Rhode Island, we never had them. What do they do?” Moira asks hesitantly.

  “The usual stuff, dish out detention for flashy behavior.” Marty quips.

  Moira looks back over to the not so subtle students watching them, and has to stifle a shiver. It must be because they live so close to the military base, that they have heightened security. Like the metal detectors at the doors this morning. Moira realizes it might be harder to keep a low profile here. That is if she never wants to get caught. Knowing the new friends she might have made are like her, she can’t possibly tell them the truth. She decides though, that if they’ll have her, she’d like to stick around.

  It’s nice not to feel so alone.

  ***

  September 2012

  As Peter Fletcher juggles a full cup of coffee in his hands, he slides his id card into the key pad next to the door. Before the door is even open halfway, he can hear the child giggling from inside. He tries to feel indifferent, but can’t stop the smile coming to his face as he makes his way into the room.

  It doesn’t surprise him, when he sees Moira’s tiny toddler form jumping on her bed. She’s wearing one of her numerous frilly dresses that he got her, and her strawberry curls bounce with her. He remembers when this room was a cell for her mother, and not a toddler’s bedroom. One of the nurses had painted it pink and decorated it for her months ago. Moira seemed very pleased with the big girl bed that was brought in last week, and is always jumping on it regardless if she falls down.

  When the door closes behind him, she stops jumping and turns to him with a shriek, and before he can put his coffee down she is running at him. He catches her with ease, and wraps her in a hug. Her little arms squeeze’s him, and then as fast as she ran to him, she is already jumping down to do something else. While she sits on the floor and plays with colored blocks, he makes his way to the filing cabinet on the back wall.

  He reaches in the first drawer at the top, and pulls out this month’s evaluation form. He frowns when he reads the normal report of her blood analysis. He finds it so surprising that she would have no effect of the infection her mother carried. Moira laughs again, and when he turns to watch her play, he wonders when it would be a good time to start giving her doses of his current serum.

  ***

  September 2028

  As Moira waits in line at the metal detectors, at school on Friday, she can’t believe she has already been here for a week. For being the new girl, she can’t really complain. She had a group of friends from the beginning that had no problem showing her the ropes. Her only problem is the blonde girl Quinn, which Moira bumped into at lunch on her first day. She hasn’t let up on her hostility towards her, and if anything she seems to despise her for some reason. Not that it really bothers Moira. Girls like her are no longer the type she’d want to hang out with. That was a past life, when she didn’t have to worry about anything.

  For the middle of September, it’s already getting cooler outside, and the leaves are already tempting to fall off the trees. It’s a breezy morning, as she stands in line and wishes she wore a hoody instead of a graphic tee. Her hair is falling down her back, and occasionally moves in the breeze. Marty is standing behind her as he has for the whole week, except today he’s trying to flirt with a pretty freshmen. And by trying, Moira means he is being shot down pretty badly. It actually comes to a surprise that he’d be shot down at all, it’s not like he’s not bad to too at. But, it probably doesn’t have anything to do with his looks, and all about what he is. People tend to be a little over cautious with us diseased. Not to mention that it’s contagious. Moira never had a problem getting dates at her old school, but then she never told anyone what she was either.

  “Damn, I think I need to work on my pickup lines.” Marty pouts as he shifts a little beside Moira as the line moves up a step.

  She turns to him with a sly smile and says, “What the whole mirror in the back pocket thing didn’t work?”

  “Hey now, don’t be a hater. Seeing me in you is a FANTASTIC line, thank you.”

  “Sure , sure.” She says with a laugh.

  “So, what do you think of our great institute of learning, after your first week?”

  They move up a step again, and get closer to the double door entrance. Moira can feel the heat coming through the open door and can’t wait to get inside. She thinks about Marty’s question, and can honestly say she is satisfied with the turn of events.

  “It’s better than I thought, but that’s just the company though.” She says with a wink.

  He graces her with a rare smile and puts an arm around her shoulder.

  “Yeah, I knew I’d win you over the first moment I saw your…ugh...face.”

  “Not over confident are you?”

  “Only in the absolute literal sense of course, besides, we all knew it. You’re not the typical sheep.”

  “…Sheep?”

  “You know a follower. Quinn knows it too. It’s why she doesn’t like you.”

  Moira finally gets to step inside, as it’s her turn to walk through the metal detector. Marty has to move behind her again, so she can go inside. As she walks through the silent detector, she thinks about what he said about her not being a follower. She supposes it could be true, but it’s not like she’s a leader either. She didn’t exactly walk through the doors the first day with attitude, if anything she tried to keep a low profile. But it’s almost always true, the harder you try to stay under cover, it never works out.

  She walks into the school, and avoids eye contact with the security guard. The hallways are already bustling with activity even though it’s early, and she makes her way off to the side to wait with Marty. They share the first class of the day together, and they’re lockers are close together too. It makes her feel good to have a friend to walk around with, and he doesn’t seem to mind. Looking back to him walking inside, he doesn’t try to avoid the guard, and he greets him hello. It would be a really funny thing to witness, if the guard wasn’t so serious. He doesn’t even smile or anything at anyone, but this only makes Marty smile at him and walk over to Moira laughing. She can’t help but laugh along with him. She has never met anyone like him that is so open about who they are. He just doesn’t care to cause a scene.

  “You’re just relentless aren’t you?” She states, not even bothering to make it a question. Since he knows it’s true.

  “You know it babe. So are we really going to history today, or can I convince you to skip?”

  They are already starting for their lockers upstairs, and he’s asked her to skip for the last two days. And each day she had to let him down, she’s not the type to skip on classes. Not that she doesn’t want to. She’s just afraid of getting caught. She’s never been a rule breaker, too afraid of authority figures.

  Skipping up the steps, she says not for the first time,

  “Not today bud, maybe tomorrow, okay?”

  “That’s what they all say. I have to grab some notes from Ray, so I’ll see you in class.” He says as he slows his pace near her locker, just shy of the stairs landing.

  Moira waves him off with a smile.

  He immediately takes off down the h
all, and disappears into the masses. Shaking her head, she sets off to unloading and adjusting her messenger bag. She leaves the strap over her shoulder though, not wanting to look like a weirdo kneeling on the floor. She does have the problem of her hair falling into her face though, and can’t remember why she hasn’t cut it yet. Finished, she closes her locker and turns just in time to see Quinn and her friends walking down the hall in her direction. As they pass by, she freezes and Quinn gives her a dirty look.

  “Freak.” Quinn mutters under her breath walking by.

  Sighing, Moira rolls her eyes. Can girls like her ever be original, or is that asking too much. Petty insults don’t really bother her, and she wonders deep down if there is something wrong with her to not feel that way. Tossing that thought aside, she rushes down the stairs and hurries to class before the bell rings.

  History was uneventful that day. Marty was unusually quiet when he came into the class room. She didn’t even have the chance to ask what was wrong, since the teacher started a European monarch lecture. Moira not paying attention the lecture at all wonders if Marty had a fight with Ray or something, but then she dismisses that. Ray isn’t the type to cause a confrontation, Marty yes, but definitely not Ray. Then she thinks that someone or something could have happened to one of the others of their group. Meaning to ask him what’s wrong, she tries to catch him after class, but he easily dodges her and she loses him.