Back to Me without you (Sibling Love Book 1)

by Christie Mack

  Also in that time, Abby managed to get halfway done with her latest book. She hopefully to be done by the time she returned to New York City. Once the wedding was done, she would be able to dive really into the rest of the story because she would have more time to concentrate on it.

  Tonight was the rehearsal dinner for the wedding tomorrow. Abby still couldn’t believe her baby sister was getting married. She still remembered when Jess was wearing pigtails in her hair and shadowing Abby around because she had wanted to be just like her big sister. Everyone had always thought it was adorable, including Steven, who was mainly glad she wasn’t following him.

  It was a memory Abby would relish forever.

  During the wedding rehearsal, Abby couldn’t help but focus on her sister’s face, beaming with love and excitement, as she walked towards her fiancé on Steven’s arm.

  At that moment, Abby realised her sister wasn’t making as big of a mistake as she first thought. And part of Abby wanted the kind of love that Jessica shared with Justin. She just hadn’t been blessed enough to discover it yet. It would happen someday, just not today.

  “Are you okay?” Jessica whispered to Abby.

  Abby nodded, silently drawing in a breath. Of course, she was okay. But her little sister getting married was a big deal, and Abby couldn’t help but be a little emotional. It was not that she was jealous. It was very much the contrary.

  With their parents gone, the responsibility of giving Jessica away weighed heavily on Abby. They were never coming back, and knowing that hurt like hell, more than she was prepared to admit to anyone. She hadn’t been able to break down properly when they died, because as the oldest, she owed it to Steven and Jessica to be the strong one and take care of them, look out for them like their parents would expect her to do.

  “Abby?” Jessica’s voice snapped Abby back to reality.

  “I’m sorry. Did you say something?”

  “You were staring into space.” Raleigh blurted. She was sitting two seats down, and Abby was glad to have Adriana between them. She couldn’t stand Raleigh.

  “Sorry. I guess I was lost in thought.”

  Thinking about Sam’s chiseled face but she kept that bit to herself. No one needed to know that Abby couldn’t stop thinking about Justin’s older brother and how he stirred feelings in her that she thought she had brushed off. Feelings about falling in love that maybe was possible and not just a dream that was out of reach. His face haunted her dreams, keeping her awake at night.

  Jessica clasped Abby’s hand underneath the table. “It’s okay. No one knows that my maid of honour is off with the pixies. They’re all too busy eating their dinner. Can I ask what you were thinking about? Obviously, it was something. Is it Sam? You don’t have to love the man but for my sake, try to be nice to him. We can always get you a date to dance with at the reception. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find the one,” Jessica said positively. The smile spread across her face told Abby everything she already knew about her sister. Jessica was good at seeing the Brightside to everything. Most of the time she was the bubbliest and happy person Abby knew.

  “No, I can handle Sam. He’s fine. It’s just life in general. I guess it takes your sister’s wedding to put everything else in perspective. And I don’t want a date for the wedding. I wouldn’t have a chance to be with him anyway. Besides, you pinkie-swore that you wouldn’t play matchmaker again. You can’t go back on your word now.”

  “Okay, I won’t,” Jessica answered reluctantly.

  Knowing Jessica was like their mother made it all the harder to know if she was going to be able to stand by her word or not, but she’d give her the benefit of the doubt.

  For now.

  After the rehearsal dinner, Abby hadn’t been quite ready to go home. Jessica reminded her unnecessarily that she would need her sleep before the big day ahead and then went home with Steven.

  Somehow Abby ended up at the last place she ever thought she’d go to at night—the cemetery.

  Graves gave her the creeps in the daylight, let alone at night where she was positive spirits were skulking around every corner on every tombstone. But it was something that she felt she had to do. A part of her was urging her to visit her parent’s grave. She had held off on visiting them for as long as she could. She couldn’t do it anymore. Tonight was the night, no matter how scared she was.

  Coming there sent a quiver through her body, just as it had on the day she, Steven and Jessica had buried them. She brought her hands to her arms, squeezing herself as she sunk to her knees on the ground.

  She stayed liked that for a moment.

  It was silent, except for the movement of the trees and whistling of birds in the distance. There was tranquillity surrounding her that almost made her forget where she was. Abby hoped her parents were finally at peace.

  “Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad.” Her voice was hushed. Why was she whispering? No one else was there. It was just her and a cemetery full of dead people.

  She found herself sketching around each letter of the engraving spelling out her parents’ names across the front of the tombstone.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been back since that day we buried you.” She struggled to speak, fighting back tears she had kept at bay for so long. “It’s hard for me to come here. For so long I had been the strong one to support Steven and Jessica. I suffered silently through my misery of losing you because I didn’t want to show Steven and Jess that I’m not as tough and fearless as they think I am. They needed me to be there for them and so that is why I haven’t come sooner. Besides, it’s a little hard when I live in a different country.”

  She broke down in tears, unable to keep from crying anymore.

  Abby closed her eyes, wishing that everything would go away and when she woke up, her parents would still be alive and well. This would be one big, ruthless nightmare. Even at twenty-eight years of age, Abby still needed her parents, and she was sure Steven and Jessica felt the say way too. She needed her mum to provide her with a hug, consoling her when she got a broken heart or when life didn’t pan out the way she had hoped. She needed her dad to help her stand up for what she believed in, push away those who’d betray her trust.

  Loving husband and wife.

  Devoted parents to their three precious children.

  Abby read the engraving and smiled through her tears. “Your baby is getting married tomorrow. Can you believe it? Neither can I, but Jessica is going to make one hell of a bride.” She covered her mouth swiftly. “Sorry for cursing, Mum.”

  “You’d be proud of her. Steven is walking her down the aisle, and I’m her maid of honour. At first, I thought she was rushing into marriage too soon, but now I have had some time to get to know Justin, I know she’s marrying the right man. You’d like your new son-in-law. His brother, Sam, is nice as well.” She bit her lower lip and then confided, “I can’t tell Jessica because she believes it would be weird if she and I were to date brothers, but I think I like him, Mum. And it scares me a lot. He makes me feel special and important. I guess I just needed to talk to someone.” She paused between sentences. “I needed to tell you, Mum. I am happy. I’ve aimed to be a writer for as long as I can remember. Ever since you convinced me to submit my stories to magazines. You never wanted me to give up, and I never did. I made it. I’m an author. I have books with my name on them.”

  Abby sucked in a long deep breath, almost like she forgot something. Tears continued to fall down her cheeks, but she didn’t care.

  “Steven’s good too. He’s working. He’s a hero and puts his life on the line every day. Whenever I hear on the television about some big bush fire, I worry that Steven won’t make it out alive. Then I hear his voice, and I know that he’s okay. I don’t think Jess and I could stand to lose another member of our family. We may argue and don’t agree with his decision to stay a bachelor forever, but we love him. We’re family. And I don’t think he’ll be single forever, just as I hope I won’t be either. I think a part of us wants what we had as childre
n. We yearn for the kind of love you and Dad had.”

  Abby looked down at her watch. It was getting late. Jessica and Steven would be wondering where she was.

  “Bye, Mum. Bye, Dad. I love you.” Abby blew a kiss, placing it on the tombstone with one hand. One single tear ran down her cheek before she wiped it away and got back onto her feet. She turned around and walked towards the exit.

  She wasn’t looking where she was going and ran straight into a pair of arms.

  Her heart leapt to her throat, and she let out a little shriek until she realised who held her.

  “Sam! Oh, my God. You scared the daylights out of me!”

  The moonlight illuminated his blond hair, and when she took a step backwards, he looked even more drop dead sexy than before.

  He steadied her. “Are you okay?”

  “I am. I was just visiting my parents. But what are you doing here? Are you following me?”

  “I was worried about you. When I saw you catch a taxi instead of going home with your brother and sister, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I am. I just needed to get out of there and get some air. Did you uh hear me talking to my parents grave?”

  “I was, but I didn’t hear everything,” he admitted bashfully.

  She pulled her knit cardigan tighter around her. Abby was glad he hadn’t heard her rambling on and on.

  “God, you must think I’m some weirdo because I’m talking to my parents as though I expect them to respond to me.

  Sam stepped forward, cupping her face in his hands. Abby should have expected what was going to happen next, but she didn’t. “For the record, I don’t think you’re weird at all. I think it’s sweet that you’re talking to your parents about everything they’re not here to see. It shows just how big of a presence they still have in your life even though they’re not physically here for you,” he said, then his mouth collided with hers in one of the most passionate kisses she had ever experienced.

  No man had ever before come close to making her feel this way. If she closed her eyes, she could see stars and fireworks.

  His tongue sought entry into her mouth. It would have been easy to deny him access, but part of her didn’t want him to stop.

  Kissing Sam was mind-blowing.

  Her tongue twined with his, and for a little while, she lost herself in the kiss. Then Abby came to her senses and pulled away. Questions she was afraid to ask filled her brain.

  Did he kiss her because he had feelings for her?

  Or was it because the thought she was a lot of fun and kissing her might be a nice way to end his time in Sydney?

  Overwhelmed with indecision, Abby hurried away and hailed a taxi to take her home.

  In light of Abby’s sudden departure, Sam deliberated what happened and why she bailed so hastily?

  Was it something he did wrong?

  Was his kiss too brash?

  I like him.

  The moment he’d heard her words, he’d wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her heartily on the mouth. And while she had tried to fight the urge to return his kiss, she had also allowed him access to her lips. That had to count for something because this time she wasn’t drunk.

  He hoped he wasn’t the only one who saw fireworks.

  Abby noticed Jessica watching her. “What?” she asked quickly, pulling her thoughts away from the night before.

  Jessica shrugged and turned back to the mirror. She was doing a quick touch up of her hair and make-up in the bride’s room of the church. “You look uneasy. I’m the one who should be nervous. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, well, I’m just nervous for you,” Abby lied. “It’s not everyday you see your little sister get married.” Jessica didn’t need to know about her true worries on her wedding day.

  “Thank God! I don’t think I could handle my sister getting married for a second time.” Abby and Jessica heard Steven mutter underneath his breath from the doorway.

  Both women burst out laughing.

  “What if I find Mr. Right and get married?” Abby challenged. “You’ll have to be there for me as well. I’ll need my little brother to walk me down the aisle. You’ve got big shoes to fill. You even kind of look like Dad.”

  “You, married?” Steven scoffed. “You’re like me. You’re not settling down any time soon because you’re content with your life the way it is.”

  “Well, I hope that this is my first and only wedding,” Jessica said. “While I love this dress and planning my wedding, I don’t want to do it all over again. Once is enough.”

  Abby hoped for her sake she was right. No one set out to enter into marriage twice. “Oh I don’t think you’ll have to worry about remarrying. Only if you’re planning to renew your vows again,” Abby said with a smile. She rose to her feet and walked over to where her sister was sitting. “You’re beautiful, Jessica!” Abby was in awe of her little sister. She was a beautiful bride and if their parents were here, they would have said the same thing.

  “Do you think so?”

  “I do, Sis,” chimed in Steven. “Oh, wait. That’s your line. If I can say it, you can. So you don’t have to worry about messing it up.” Steven wasn’t one to show affection or give compliments towards his sisters, so when he did, they meant a lot. “You’re breathtaking and I’m sure Justin will think so too. I can almost see the dopey grin on his face as we embark on our walk down the aisle.”

  “How do you know he has a dopey grin?”

  “I’ve seen it.”

  “So have I,” Abby chimed in. “He’s enamored with you. You only have to see the way he looks at you. His eyes sparkle when you enter a room.”

  “You wouldn’t see it, because you’re just as smitten as he is not to mention delusional. Love does that to a person,” Steven added. “And that’s something I do not have to worry about. I’m never getting married.”

  “We’ll see, big brother. We’ll see,” said Jessica. “There was a time when I used to think the same thing and then, I met Justin. I’m about to marry the man of my dreams. And it feels right—like he’s my best friend in the universe. You and Abby might find that too. It’ll hit you in the face and there will be nothing you can do about it. You’ll just want to hold them forever. After all, we’re Carters.”

  “Well, you won’t be a Carter for much longer. And neither will Abby if she chooses to marry. I’m the only one who can hold up the legacy of our name.”

  “Lord help us all,” Jessica rolled her eyes and they burst out laughing.

  Abby watched the way Jessica stared dreamily at the engagement ring on her left hand and couldn’t help but yearn for that kind of love. Sure, she was happy with her life as a single woman and in her career as an author. But there was a part of her that dreamed of one day walking down the aisle in a pretty white dress towards the man of her dreams.

  She thought back to the kiss with Sam. It had been more than a little shocking and breathtaking. The most brilliant kiss she had in quite some time.

  Was he the man of her dreams?

  After today, she was going back on a plane to New York City. She would likely never see him again unless there was a family emergency. She should just forget about him.

  He would probably forget all about her. Especially since she ran out on him after their kiss.

  Sam probably wouldn’t want anything to do with her. He likely thought she either didn’t care about him, or she had emotional issues that would be more than he wanted to deal with.

  It would take some time but she had to stop thinking about a man she had no future with. They had too much going against them. They both had busy careers, he wasn’t equipped to be in another serious relationship, and Jessica didn’t think they should be together. They weren’t a match. They were living in two different worlds.

  She knew that.

  But it didn’t stop her from thinking about that kiss...

  Snap back to reality, Abby. Get a grip, girl!

  Raleigh and Adriana, the other two brid
esmaids, entered the room wearing their plunging neck, pink maxi dresses. They were the same style as Abby’s dress. They also wore a single diamond tennis bracelet as a token of thanks from Jessica.

  “It’s getting crowded out there,” Adriana commented as Abby slipped her shoes onto her feet.

  “Then, that’s my cue to leave. Let me know when you’re ready to walk down the aisle.” Steven walked over towards the door.

  “If you see my hunky groom, say hello to him for me,” Jessica called out to her brother.

  Raleigh wandered toward Steven, placing one finger on his tuxedo. “Don’t forget to save me a dance tonight,” she purred, making Abby almost gag.

  She got that women found her brother good looking. But there was a time and a place for everything. Attempting to hook up with your best friend’s brother at her wedding wasn’t one of them.

  Steven didn’t seem moved by Raleigh’s flirt. He signalled his sister in response to her and then left the room.

  “I saw Justin,” Raleigh said. “He’s looking good. You’re lucky to have snagged a man as fine as him.”

  “There’s nothing lucky about it. I think they’re both lucky to have found each other,” Abby elaborated. She hated how Raleigh made it sound like Jessica didn’t deserve to be with Justin, like he was far better than she was. It was almost like Raleigh thought she should be with him and not Jessica.

  Abby kept quiet after that, though. She didn’t want to risk causing drama on Jessica’s special day.

  “I’ve found my one true love,” Jessica replied. “I am lucky, just as I’m sure Justin is as well.”

  The door opened just as Jessica was rising from her chair. Steven re-emerged, clutching his hands together. “We’re ready to begin.”

  “That’s our cue to leave then,” Abby said.

  Raleigh and Adriana were the first to leave the room and as Abby turned to leave, she kissed her sister on the cheek.

  “You look beautiful, Jess,” she murmured. “Mum and Dad would think so, too.”