by Kat Mizera
33
Patrick
For the first time in a long time, I was nervous as fuck the morning of a game. We’d arrived in Philadelphia yesterday for the Frozen Four tournament and I’d barely slept last night. I was excited, because I loved hockey and this was going to be the climax of my college career, but I was worried. There was a lot of pressure on the team in general. We hadn’t come this far in the tournament in a long time, since before any of the current players had gotten to college, so we had something to prove.
My father had made some noises about coming, but Paxton told him rooming assignments had changed and we had nowhere for him to stay. That had been a lie, but we’d talked to Coach Keller about it and he was happy to move us around so I was rooming with Tate and Paxton was rooming with Lex. We couldn’t afford a distraction like Dad, so we’d tried to be proactive in keeping him from showing up. The tickets were expensive and we knew he couldn’t afford them, but he was wily when it came to hockey.
I stretched out when we got to the arena, loosening up my muscles and clearing my mind as best I could. Seeing Ellie a few days ago had thrown me off-balance again. She’d seemed so sad, even more so than I was on the inside, but she wasn’t as good at hiding it. Plus, I knew her well enough to see the hurt that practically radiated out of her. And it fucking gutted me. I wanted so much to soothe her, to take away whatever demons were haunting her soul, but she was keeping me at an emotional distance and I hadn’t wanted to push it.
“Good news/bad news, boys.” Coach Keller came over to where Paxton and I were still stretching. “Which do you want first?”
“Bad news,” Paxton replied automatically.
“Your dad is here. We just got a request for a ticket to the game.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I put my hands on my hips and stared up at the ceiling, counting to ten.
“Fuck.” Paxton shook his head. “Sorry, Coach. You don’t have to get him a ticket.”
“It’s all right.” He gave us a brief smile. “He’s still your dad, even if he’s a pain in the ass, so I get wanting to see you play the biggest games of your college careers.”
“Then what’s the good news?” I asked dryly.
“The Sidewinders and the Sockeyes both reached out to let us know they sent representatives to attend the games.”
“Shit. Dad and the pros.” I glanced at Paxton. “No pressure, huh?”
“Nah, I’m good. I’m going to text Naomi and sic her on him. He won’t know what hit him.”
I nodded but I really didn’t need this kind of distraction. What was my dad thinking to show up like this? We’d tried so hard to discourage it, but he was nothing if not persistent. I was done letting him get under my skin, though. I didn’t need or want him in my life, but breaking all ties was harder than it sounded.
“Head into the game,” Coach Keller said quietly. “Don’t worry about him—I’ll handle it. I’ll get him a ticket and make sure security knows he’s not to be allowed back to the locker room, no matter what he says.”
“Thanks, Coach. I’m sorry he keeps doing this.”
“Like I said, he’s your father, so I get it. When we win the whole thing tomorrow night, he can gloat and brag and annoy you all he wants. But until then, I’ll handle it.”
“Thanks.” I walked out of the locker room and into the tunnel toward the ice. It was early, so no one was in the arena but the staff, and I stood there staring out at it. This was one of those moments I might never have again. The calm before the storm of the tournament, my final games as a college hockey player. They didn’t have to be, because I still had the option of staying in school, but I was so torn. When it was all said and done, going pro meant leaving Ellie and I was having serious second thoughts about that.
What would be the harm of staying in school another year? Especially if it gave us the time to deepen our bond and come up with a plan. Maybe if she stayed at Moo U and started her doctorate there, she could go back and forth from Vermont to Vegas while she worked on her dissertation. It would all depend on the program, of course, but I knew she wanted to move into biotechnology and a quick internet search told me they had a biotechnology department at UNLV too. Whether or not it was a good one or whether she could get in were separate issues, but another year at Moo U together might buy her the time to figure it out.
I’d come to the conclusion I’d do whatever I had to do to get her back, to show her I was serious, that I loved her. A huge part of me had been missing since she’d left me and I needed her. Physically, emotionally, sexually—I needed it all. Whether that meant staying in school or taking her with me or even offering to do a long-distance thing, I had to try. My dad would kill me, the Sidewinders would undoubtedly be disappointed, and I might be taking a huge risk by waiting, but if that’s what it took to have Ellie, I was going to do it.
I breathed in deep, the scent of a hockey arena moving through me with familiarity. I could and would do this. One step, one day at a time. Today, I would put it all out of my mind and do everything in my power to win this game and eventually the tournament. On Sunday, I would fall at her feet, tell her how I felt, and beg her to give me, give us, another chance. I’d make all the sacrifices—whatever it took—as long as she was happy and loved me the way I loved her. And I was pretty sure she did.
Coach Keller was true to his word, keeping Dad away from us during and after the game. We snuck into the hotel through a side entrance and took the stairs up to our rooms so we wouldn’t run into him, and Coach made the whole team go digitally dark that night anyway, asking us to turn off our phones and computers and get some rest. We were going to need it, and no distractions were allowed. Personally, I was grateful. I got out my global business textbook and read until I fell asleep, determined to stay on track as much as I could.
We had a morning skate after breakfast and then spent the afternoon in our rooms, relaxing until it was time to leave for the arena. I turned on my phone for the first time in twenty-four hours and there were at least a dozen texts from my dad, but I ignored them. I went to Instagram instead, planning to mindlessly skim my feed.
“I’m going down to see Maggie for a little while,” Tate told me. “I’ll be back in a bit. You need anything?”
“Nah, thanks.”
I sighed, wondering what Ellie was up to. Was she studying? Hanging out with Chastity? I wanted to reach out, maybe call her, but I’d promised Toli—and myself—I’d focus on nothing but hockey until this tournament was over. Distractions could be dangerous and I didn’t need that.
I was just about to close my eyes and take a nap when someone pounded on the door.
“Patrick?! Open the door, son!”
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
I got up and steeled myself as I faced my father. “I’m trying to nap, Dad.”
“Fuck that. We need to talk.” He brushed past me and then turned, folding his arms across his chest. “What’s this bullshit about you knocking up some girl?”
I froze. I had no idea how he’d found out, and that terrified me. Paxton and Naomi wouldn’t tell anyone and I was fairly certain Ellie hadn’t even told her professors. For my father to know, it could only have come from Toli, and the fact that they’d talked was bad.
“Dad, it’s none of your business.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? After how hard you’ve worked, you’re going to ruin your life over some broad who’s after your money?”
“Dad, there’s no baby, no girl, no nothing.” That was true, at least, even though I planned to do everything in my power to change the last part of that statement.
“Don’t lie to me. And what the hell are you doing airing your dirty laundry to Toli Petrov?! Man, it’s a good thing you’ve got the athleticism because you really aren’t big in the brains department.”
Fury was slowly racing through my veins and it was taking control I didn’t know I had not to lay him out.
“How did Mom marry a prick like you?” I mused alo
ud. “I mean, she’s been gone eleven years and no one else can stand you, so either she saw something the rest of us don’t or she was blind.”
“Don’t you talk about your mother that way!” He moved toward me but I laughed. He was twice my age, overweight, and out of shape. I was in no way, shape or form intimidated now, though I had been when I was younger.
Another knock on the door interrupted us and I stepped around him to answer it, grateful for a reprieve. Coach Keller stood there and he looked past me with a frown.
“No guests,” he growled, as if he was mad at me. I knew him well enough to know he wasn’t, that he was just protecting me, but it was a little disconcerting nonetheless. I was a thousand times more afraid of my coach than I was of my father.
“I didn’t know he was coming,” I said quietly.
“I’m leaving,” Dad grumbled, brushing past me. “But this conversation isn’t over. You’re not going to ruin your life over some knocked-up bimbo!” He stalked down the hall and I slumped against the wall.
“He’s tenacious,” Coach Keller said when he was gone. “I’ll give him that.”
“All I want to give him is a broken nose.”
Coach scowled at me. “Do I need to babysit you today, Trick? I’m serious. We’re on the verge of winning the whole damn thing—you better not fuck it up getting in a fight with your father or girlfriend or whoever.”
“No, sir. I’m good.”
“Why don’t you take your things and go on up to Lex and Paxton’s room? You and Lex can change places and your dad won’t know where you are.”
“Thanks. I’m really sorry he’s here.”
“It’s not on you. I’m just trying to keep my team on an even keel. Three hours until we leave for the arena. Can you stay out of trouble until then?”
I really fucking hoped so.
34
Ellie
I hadn’t told Patrick I was here in Philly but I was getting antsy on Saturday. Though they’d won easily last night, tonight’s game was going to be rougher. North Dakota was a tough team and they had a stellar lineup. Not that Moo U was anything to sneeze at, but it wouldn’t be as easy to beat North Dakota. In the meantime, though, I was having a great time with the WAGs from the Sidewinders.
Renee had brought Chelsea and Tessa with her and we’d gone out to breakfast this morning and then gotten pedicures. I rarely took time to do stuff like that but Renee was spoiling me on this trip, saying she could afford it and anyway, she was invested in getting Patrick and me back together. I thought she was wonderful, and though I wasn’t sure Patrick and I could make it work, I was going to try.
“I say we go down to ice level during the warm-up,” Renee suggested as we got ready to go. “He needs to see you, know you’re here.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to mess with his game mojo until after.”
“Are you sure?” Tessa asked. “According to Toli, Patrick’s father is here making a nuisance of himself. He texted me a little while ago and said that Donald Graham approached him in the hotel lobby.”
“Patrick’s dad is here?” I grimaced. “That’s not good. He hates his dad.”
“Yeah, and I think Toli opened his mouth about something he wasn’t supposed to. He, Jared and Nate are meeting us at the arena so we’ll find out in a little bit.”
“Shit.” I ached to text Patrick and make sure he was okay, but he’d probably locked up his phone already. Coach Keller had strict rules about technology in and around game time.
I didn’t know what his father’s appearance meant, but it couldn’t be good. Impulsively, I texted Naomi on the way to the arena.
ELLIE: Are you at the arena?
NAOMI: I’m in Philly, yes. Why? Are you here?!
ELLIE: Yes. I’m going to try and surprise Patrick after the game.
NAOMI: He’s going to be so happy to see you! Are you going down to ice level before the game?
ELLIE: No. I’m waiting until after. I don’t want to mess with his head. Where are you sitting?
NAOMI: There are some WAGs here from Seattle, so I’m sitting with them.
ELLIE: Okay, cool. Look for me in the concourse toward the end of the game and we can go find the guys together.
NAOMI: Will do.
I felt better after talking to Naomi, and I followed Renee and the others inside. Toli, Jared, and Nate were already in the concourse and came over to greet us. Toli looked upset as he kissed his wife.
“What did you do?” she asked him.
He sighed. “I think I fucked up. I had no idea…” He looked at me. “I didn’t realize Patrick and his father weren’t close. I assumed he knew about…”
“The baby?” My eyes widened. “You told Patrick’s dad about the baby?!”
“He was bitching about Patrick’s playing a few weeks ago and I was trying to defend him, so I said something about him having a lot on his mind, that an unplanned pregnancy was distracting, and he went storming off before I even had a chance to explain.” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry.”
“Patrick’s dad is a total prick.” I turned to Renee. “I changed my mind—I’m going down to watch the warm-up.”
“Let’s go this way,” Toli said, touching my shoulder. “We can stand by the tunnel, so maybe you can say hello.”
I glanced at him curiously, wondering why he cared about Patrick and me. It made sense that he cared about Patrick, since they were going to be teammates later this year, but what did they care about me? Patrick was a good-looking, talented man who would undoubtedly have all kinds of women after him. He’d certainly had his choice on campus at Moo U, and the numbers would be tenfold in Vegas. It made no sense that they were all essentially rooting for me. For us.
It made me feel good despite how up in the air everything was, but I couldn’t dwell on that now. If Patrick’s father had gotten in his head today, he would need something to calm him down and that was me. No matter what we’d been going through the last few weeks, I had that effect on him and he had it on me, and right now he needed me. He might not even know it yet, but I wasn’t going to let his father derail everything he’d been working for the last three years.
The teams hadn’t come out yet and we crowded around the railing that flanked both sides of the tunnel, waiting for them. Toli, Nate and Jared had baseball caps on and kept their heads down, not wanting to attract any attention, but I was grateful to have them here with me.
“Here they come,” Renee whispered, nudging me.
Toli pushed past a few people and lifted me up and over the seats so I could lean against the rail. The closer I was, the easier it would be to get his attention. I just wanted him to see me, so he would know I was here. That was all. I hoped it would be enough to keep him focused, and not have the opposite effect, but it was a chance I was willing to take. No matter what, I had a more positive impact on him than his father ever did.
“Hey!” Naomi tapped Toli on the shoulder and scooted past him so she could stand next to me.
“Hi.” I hugged her with one arm.
“Here they come,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “He’s going to be so surprised…”
I unconsciously reached for her hand. “I’m so nervous. What if he’s not happy to see me?”
Naomi smiled. “That’s not even possible. Trust me.”
The team’s starting goalie, a senior named Josh Gruber, led the team out onto the ice with a few guys like Tate, Lex, and J.D. behind him. No Paxton or Patrick yet, though. They were a pretty superstitious group, going out in the same order every night, with the twins usually right behind Josh, but it didn’t matter at warm-ups, only for the actual game.
Then I saw him. Even side-by-side with his twin, he was easily distinguishable to me. Paxton was more serious; there was no other way to put it. Patrick always had a tiny bit of mischief on his face, no matter what the situation was, and a cleft in his chin that was deeper than Paxton’s. It didn’t matter, though, because when I said his name, his
eyes snapped to mine and he faltered.
“Ellie…” His voice was a whisper and he stopped in front of me.
Our eyes locked and for a moment in time, everything stood still. Like we were back at the hockey house, some mythical energy drawing us together in exactly the same way it had that first night. But we weren’t actually at the hockey house, and so much had happened since that night. He also had a game to play.
“Go,” I whispered back. “I’ll be waiting.”
A grin slowly spread across his face and he tapped his stick against the wall beneath me before skating out onto the ice.
“Uh-oh.” Naomi’s voice had a weird edge.
“What?” I glanced at her in alarm.
She surreptitiously motioned with her head and I looked across the tunnel to the other side, and a middle-aged man was staring at me with a scowl of disgust.
“His dad,” she murmured.
“Crap.”
“Come.” Toli took my elbow. “Let’s go find our seats.”
“See you later,” I called to Naomi.
I ignored the man shooting daggers at me and followed Toli and the others. Something told me Patrick’s father wasn’t going away any time soon and it scared me far more than everything else Patrick and I had gone through put together.
The good news, of course, was that Patrick had definitely been happy to see me. I tried to focus on how that felt instead of letting his father’s obvious distaste upset me, but it was hard to ignore.
“It’s going to be okay,” Renee whispered to me as we got to our seats. They were in the lower level, a few rows back from the glass, close to center ice. Honestly, these seats were amazing, much better than where I usually sat for Moo U games, and I was so excited to be this close to the action.
“Have you thought any more about what you’re going to do about school going forward?” Renee asked me as we waited for the game to start.