The Healing Jar

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  He felt like he was sinking in quicksand. He desperately needed to change the subject. “I hope Cindy’s being good for Mary Ruth. Now that she’s learned to walk, she manages to get into a lot more things. Taking care of her might be more than your grandmother can handle now.”

  Lenore shook her head. “If I know Grandma, she’s keeping Cindy well entertained.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I still need to find some appropriate gifts for my two witnesses.” Lenore brought their conversation back to the wedding again. “Have you gotten anything for your witnesses?”

  “Uh … no, not yet.” Jesse reached under his shirt collar and scratched at the yellow jacket sting. He needed to come up with a new topic to talk about. He bit into a drumstick and wiped his mouth on a napkin. “This hinkel is sure moist and tasty.”

  Lenore nodded. “They’ve always served good chicken at this restaurant.”

  Desperate for something else to talk about lest the conversation turn to their wedding plans again, Jesse brought up the dessert bar. “Sure hope I’ll have enough room for a piece of shoofly pie. Some vanilla ice cream to go with it would be mighty good too.”

  Lenore set her fork down and drank some water. “The pies here are delicious, but in my opinion, no one makes shoofly pie better than my grandma.”

  “Your pineapple pie’s hard to beat too.”

  Circles of pink erupted on Lenore’s dimpled cheeks. “Danki.”

  As they finished eating their meal, Jesse kept the conversation rolling, talking mostly about food. He was willing to talk about nearly anything except the wedding that might not be happening. Everything depended on Lenore’s reaction once he found the courage to tell her how he felt, and he needed to do it before their date ended.

  When they left the restaurant and climbed into his buggy for the return trip home, Jesse’s nervousness and apprehension took over again. It was good to be out of the restaurant and alone with Lenore, but he needed to choose the right moment to tell her the truth. Not that it mattered, because she would probably be upset regardless of how he put it.

  “You’re kind of quiet all of a sudden. Is everything all right?” Lenore broke into Jesse’s thoughts.

  It’s now or never. I should just spit it out. He gripped his horse’s reins a little tighter. “Uh … there’s something I need to tell you.”

  “What is it, Jesse? You sound so serious.”

  “It’s about us getting married.”

  “Have you decided we should wait till fall?”

  “No, I—” He paused and swallowed hard. “The thing is—I haven’t been honest with you, Lenore.”

  “In … in what way?” Her voice quavered a bit.

  “I never should have asked you to marry me.”

  “How come?” Lenore spoke so quietly, he could barely make out what she said.

  “You’re a good person, and I care about you as a friend, but I’m not in love with you, Lenore.” Jesse paused and drew a quick breath. “Truth is, I’m still in lieb with Esther, and I think I’ll always love her.” He let go of the reins with one hand and touched his chest.

  Lenore sat quietly beside him, breathing heavily.

  What’s she thinking? Why doesn’t she say something? Jesse was tempted to reach for Lenore’s hand to offer comfort but thought better of it. She might think he felt sorry for her, which of course, he did. Truthfully, he felt sorry for himself too. How’d I ever get myself into this predicament?

  “I’m really sorry, Lenore, but unless you’re willing to be a wife in name only, I can’t marry you. It would be asking a lot, and would not be fair to you.”

  “So why did you ask me to be your wife?” Her tone was flat, almost devoid of emotion.

  Before Jesse could respond, Lenore rushed on. “Was it so Cindy could have a mudder? Or was it because you need someone to cook, clean, and wash your dirty laundry?” Her voice had risen to a high pitch now.

  Quietly Jesse choked out, “A little of both, but mostly it was for Cindy’s benefit.”

  “Well, at least you told me the truth before it was too late, because I could not deal with a loveless marriage. I’ve waited a good many years to fall in love and get married, but I guess, for me, it’s not meant to be.”

  Jesse didn’t think he could possibly feel guiltier. His voice cracked as he repeated, “I’m sorry, Lenore.”

  She said nothing.

  “Whew, I’m exhausted!” Gazing at Cindy sleeping peacefully on a blanket on the living-room floor, Mary Ruth lowered herself to the couch. How one little girl could have so much energy was beyond her.

  Maybe I’m too old to be caring for a young child. After Cindy had knocked over a potted African violet and pulled the cat’s tail several times, Mary Ruth had spent the rest of the evening chasing after Cindy to keep her from getting into anything else or bothering poor Precious the cat. And when she wasn’t doing that, she was busy trying to occupy the child with toys, food, and the fuzzy-squirrel book.

  Now that she finally had some quiet time to herself, Mary Ruth’s thoughts went to Jesse and Lenore. She hoped they were having a nice evening together and didn’t feel that they had to rush home. While Jesse came over regularly and spent time with Lenore, they didn’t get the chance to be alone very often.

  Mary Ruth had noticed how nervous Jesse seemed before he and Lenore left for their supper date. She hoped he wasn’t having second thoughts about getting married.

  She pinched the skin at her throat. Or maybe he’s just excited about making Lenore his bride.

  Lenore deserved to be happy, and Mary Ruth was eager to see her granddaughter married to a good man like Jesse. She pulled on her chin as a smile formed on her lips. By this time next year, Lenore could be expecting a boppli. Now wouldn’t that be exciting?

  Mary Ruth leaned her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. She was at the point of dozing off when the front door opened and Lenore and Jesse stepped in. Without saying a single word to Jesse or Mary Ruth, Lenore sprinted down the hall and dashed up the stairs.

  Tipping her head, Mary Ruth looked at Jesse. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to upset Lenore this evening?”

  Jesse nodded. “I’m the reason Lenore is umgerennt, but it would be better if she tells you about it.” He gathered up Cindy’s things, lifted the still sleeping child in his arms, and went for the door. “Danki for taking care of my precious girl this evening,” Jesse called over his shoulder before shutting the door.

  Mary Ruth’s gaze flitted around the room as though she might find the answer to her question there. Rising to her feet, she headed for the stairs, hoping Lenore would tell her what had happened.

  Chapter 33

  At the end of the school day Monday, Lenore remained at her desk a while, thinking about the past weekend and giving in to her tears.

  Thankfully, yesterday had been an off-Sunday from attending church in their district, so Lenore hadn’t had to endure the pain of seeing Jesse so soon after he’d called off the wedding. Besides, news traveled fast, and since her parents and brothers knew, they may have already begun to spread the word. Facing people’s well-intentioned questions was something Lenore did not look forward to.

  This morning she’d made sure to leave early so she wouldn’t have to face Jesse when he dropped Cindy off. After Lenore left the schoolhouse, she planned to stop by the flower shop with more of her homemade greeting cards. She would wait at the shop until Sara was free to leave, and then the two of them planned to eat supper at one of the local restaurants in Strasburg. Sara had called last Friday to set it up, saying Brad wouldn’t be able to join them because he had a meeting early Monday evening.

  I wonder what Sara will say when I tell her I won’t be getting married in May after all. Lenore took a tissue from the desk drawer and blew her nose. Will she be as sympathetic as my family was when I told them what Jesse said? Lenore’s mother had been compassionate, of course, and Dad had made some negative comments about Jesse
’s deception in leading Lenore on all these months. “Doesn’t that man have a conscience?” he’d said with a look of disdain. “I have half a notion to go over to Jesse’s house some evening and give him a piece of my mind.”

  Lenore had pleaded with her father not to say anything to Jesse. It would be embarrassing and might make things worse. Dad had only grunted in response.

  Lenore could still see the sadness in her grandmother’s eyes as she listened and then offered counsel. “God will work things out in His time and in His way. Just trust Him with your future.”

  Lenore dabbed at the corners of her eyes with the tissue. She loved Jesse and his daughter with her whole heart, but if he felt no love for her in return, their marriage would not have been a happy one—at least not for her. It wouldn’t have been enough just to remain friends. Lenore needed more than friendship. She wanted a husband who would love her as much as she loved him, and if she had agreed to become a wife in name only, she’d never have felt complete. So as much as it hurt, Lenore had convinced herself that Jesse had done her a favor by calling off the wedding.

  Pushing a stack of papers aside, Lenore slid her chair back and stood. All her tears and self-pity wouldn’t change a thing. She needed to focus on something else. But what? When she’d thought she would soon be married, Lenore had given up her desire to teach school and had known she wouldn’t miss it next year. Should she tell the school board she would be available to teach when school started up again in the fall, or would it be better to seek some other type of job?

  Sara’s floral designer, Misty, had left a short time ago for her yearly checkup with her doctor, and the young woman Sara had hired to do cleaning and odd jobs had the day off. That left Sara to answer the phone, wait on last-minute customers, and take care of any details needing to be addressed today. Fortunately, the young man in charge of deliveries had made them all earlier today, so it was one less thing she had to worry about this afternoon.

  Since there were no customers at the moment, Sara went to the back room to be sure everything had been put away. Seeing a vase with a lovely floral arrangement in it, she picked it up and sniffed the pretty pink carnations. Feeling something wet on her foot, she looked down and saw water running off the counter and onto her feet. On close examination she realized the vase had a small crack in it. She would have to transfer the flowers to a new vase.

  Sara had finished the transfer and was emptying the water from the leaky vase when the bell above the front door jingled. Great. This is not a good time for a customer to show up. I should have put the Closed sign in the window.

  Sara hurried to finish her job, then moved quickly into the main part of the store. Lenore stood near the counter. “Oh, good, it’s you. I was in the back room putting an arrangement in a vase, and when the bell jingled I was afraid a customer had come in and might leave before I could get back out here.”

  “Where’s your floral designer?” Lenore asked.

  “She left early for a doctor’s appointment.” Sara went on to explain about the cracked vase she’d discovered.

  Lenore frowned. “Sorry to hear that. Sounds like I came at a bad time.”

  “No, you’re fine. The carnations are in another vase now, and everything’s good.” Sara moved closer to Lenore. “Are you okay? Your usual smile is missing.”

  Lenore’s chin trembled, and her eyes filled with tears. “Jesse called off our wedding.”

  “What?” Sara’s brows lifted. “How come?”

  “He doesn’t love me, Sara. He’s still in love with his deceased wife.”

  “Then why did he ask you to marry him?”

  “He wanted a mother for Cindy and someone to keep house for him.” Lenore placed the palm of her hand against her chest. “I’m in love with him, and it hurts so much to know he doesn’t love me in return.”

  Sara drew Lenore into her arms and patted her back. “I’m really sorry Jesse did this to you. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved, and not just used as a mother for his child.”

  Lenore’s tears overflowed, dribbling down her cheeks and onto her dress. “I—I don’t think I can ever trust another man not to hurt me again. I must learn to accept this and be content, because I am obviously meant to remain single for the rest of my life.”

  Paradise

  “Peter, I thought I told you to unload that box of books and get them put on the shelf.” Ivan gestured toward the offending box.

  “I was gonna, Dad, but Mom asked me to take out the trash.”

  “So who do you get paid to listen to—her or me?”

  Peter’s cheeks reddened as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “Well … umm …”

  Ivan sighed. “Never mind. Just get those books out as quick as you can. I have plenty of other things for both you and your brother to do yet today.”

  “Okay, Dad. I’ll get on it right away.” Peter hurried off toward the books.

  “Are you a bit agitated today?” Yvonne asked, walking up to her husband.

  “Jah, I suppose so. I still can’t believe the nerve of Jesse Smucker asking our daughter to marry him, then tellin’ Lenore he doesn’t love her and that he only proposed so his daughter could have a mudder. There’s no way she could ever marry him under those circumstances.” Ivan breathed in a short, fast breath, then let it out with a groan. “I have half a mind to head over to that man’s house after we close the store this evening and have a little man-to-man talk with him.”

  Yvonne placed her hand on his arm. “No, Ivan, you need to calm down. Nothing good could come from you going over to give Jesse a piece of your mind, and you might say things you’d regret.”

  Ivan scrubbed a hand over his face. My wife is right, but it doesn’t change the fact that Jesse broke Lenore’s heart. The man should have had better sense than that.

  “There’s no need to worry, Yvonne,” Ivan reassured her. “I’m only blowing off a little steam that’s been brewing inside me ever since Lenore told us that she won’t be getting married in May.”

  Yvonne patted his arm. “I know, and I feel the same way. We just need to be thankful that Jesse admitted the truth to Lenore when he did. Can you imagine what it would have been like for our daughter if he’d married her and then she’d learned the truth?”

  The muscles in Ivan’s arms tightened. “I, for sure, would have gone over there and had a little heart-to-heart talk. I still have to wonder if that isn’t what Jesse needs.”

  Clymer

  Michelle placed both hands against her ever-growing stomach and sat at the kitchen table to enjoy a cup of spearmint tea. Her nausea was gone, but she still enjoyed an afternoon cup of herbal tea now and then.

  She had made a few friends from their church district, but no one she felt as close to as she was with Sara, Lenore, or Mary Ruth. Letters and phone calls didn’t ease the loneliness she felt or the desire to move back home.

  Maybe I’ll feel better once our boppli is born, she told herself. At least motherhood will keep me busy, and maybe I won’t have time to feel sorry for myself because we’re not living in Strasburg anymore.

  She thought about the prayer jars she’d discovered at the Lapps’. So many of the notes inside the jars had spoken to her heart and helped her through a difficult time. Some of those notes contained scripture verses.

  Michelle got up from the table and went to get her Bible, lying on Ezekiel’s desk. She’d placed it there last night after they’d had devotions.

  She opened the book randomly, her gaze coming to rest on Philippians 4:11, a verse she had underlined some time ago. “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

  Michelle’s cheeks burned hot, and her throat tightened. “Forgive me, Lord. How could I have forgotten that special verse? I have much to be thankful for—a loving husband who enjoys his new job, a cozy home”—she touched her stomach—“and a sweet boppli on the way.”

  At that moment, Michelle decided she would start a prayer jar of her own, fill
ing it with scriptures, prayers, and reminders of all the ways God had blessed her.

  Chapter 34

  Strasburg

  Mary Ruth looked down at Cindy and smiled. The little girl sat on the kitchen floor with a wooden spoon and a set of mixing bowls. Cindy held the spoon in one hand and stirred it around inside the smallest bowl, the way Mary Ruth had done earlier when she’d made a batch of brownies. The second bowl was turned upside down, and every few seconds Cindy would take the spoon and hit the bottom of the bowl like it was a drum. The third and largest bowl was on the little girl’s head.

  “What a sight you are, Cindy.” Mary Ruth chuckled. Having this delightful child around had made such a difference in Mary Ruth’s life. While she still thought about Willis often and continued to miss him, the raw pain of losing her husband had lessened some, thanks to the joy of caring for Jesse’s daughter.

  As Mary Ruth sat at the table, drinking a glass of water with a slice of lemon, she thought about the situation with Jesse and Lenore, comparing it to when she and Willis had been courting. Willis had proclaimed his love for Mary Ruth long before she could admit her love for him. They’d established a friendship though—and a strong one at that. But love came later. If Jesse had given it more time, he might have eventually fallen in love with Lenore. Then again, she reasoned, perhaps he might never stop pining for Cindy’s mother, in which case Jesse would never be able to commit to another woman with unconditional love.

  Cindy banged on the overturned bowl again, jolting Mary Ruth out of her contemplations.

  “Where do you get all that energy, little one? If I had even half your energy, I could get so much more done.” Mary Ruth smiled, and Cindy grinned back at her.

  A knock sounded on the front door, and Mary Ruth went to answer it. I bet that’s Jesse, come to pick up his daughter.

  When Jesse entered Mary Ruth’s house, his nose twitched. He recognized the smell of chocolate and knew someone had been doing some baking today. “The house smells mighty nice. Have you or Lenore done some baking today?”