“It was me,” Mary Ruth replied. “I made a batch of brownies. Would you like to try one?”
He nodded eagerly. “Jah, I sure would.”
“Well then, please follow me.” Mary Ruth headed down the hall, and Jesse was close behind. Upon entering the kitchen, he spotted Cindy on the floor with a plastic mixing bowl on her head. He laughed and pointed at her. “Is my little girl learning how to cook?”
“Well, I have a hunch that’s exactly what she thinks. She helped me bake brownies today—or more to the point, she watched from her high chair while I made the brownies.” Mary Ruth gestured to a plastic container on the counter. “Help yourself to one if you like.”
“Would it be all right if I take a few home?”
“Certainly. I’ll put them in a container before you leave.”
“Danki. That’s so nice of you.” Jesse crossed and uncrossed his arms, then gave a sidelong glance toward the door leading from the kitchen out to the hallway. “Is Lenore here? I’d like to speak to her.”
Mary Ruth shook her head. “Afraid not. She made plans to meet up with Sara after school let out today, and then they were going to eat supper out.”
Jesse had a hunch Lenore was avoiding him, since she wasn’t here this morning when he’d dropped Cindy off. He guessed he couldn’t blame her for that, but he did want the opportunity to speak with her again and apologize once more.
“I’m sure Lenore told you that we won’t be getting married.” Jesse rolled his shoulders to get the kinks out.
“Yes, she explained everything to me.” Mary Ruth’s forehead wrinkled. “I understand your reason, but you should have been honest with Lenore from the beginning, then let her decide if she’d be willing to enter into a marriage without love.”
“I agree, but since I’m not free to give her the kind of love she deserves, the only logical thing was to call off the wedding.” Jesse leaned his weight against the counter. “I wonder if it would be better all the way around if I asked Vera to watch Cindy again so it won’t be uncomfortable for Lenore to see me every day.”
Mary Ruth pursed her lips. “We would miss Cindy, of course, but it’s your decision, so please do as you wish.”
“Okay, and in the meantime, I will look for someone who’d be willing to come to my place and watch Cindy while I’m at work. I probably should have pursued that option a little harder before Lenore began watching Cindy.”
Mary Ruth nodded.
“Guess I’d better gather up my daughter and her things now so we can be on our way.”
“And don’t forget the brownies.”
“Right.”
When Jesse headed for his horse and buggy several minutes later, he felt unsure of what he should do. Mary Ruth was so good with Cindy, and Cindy seemed content being there. But it was unfair to expect Lenore to see him each day and not be upset. She sure couldn’t have supper away from home every night or hide out in her room until he left with Cindy. There was no question about it: finding someone else to watch his little girl would be the best thing for all.
“Are you sure you don’t mind eating here?” Sara asked as she and Lenore entered a restaurant down the street from the flower shop.
Lenore shook her head. “I always enjoy pizza.”
Sara smiled. “Same here. Brad and I have eaten at this place several times and never been disappointed.”
Once they were seated, a waitress came and gave them menus. They both ordered personal-sized pepperoni pizzas and glasses of iced tea.
“This whole situation with Jesse is such a shock,” Sara said. “Have you had a chance to develop any strategies for dealing with him and Cindy still being in our community?”
“I try not to dwell on it, because there is nothing I can do to change what happened.” Lenore glanced out the window at a horse and buggy passing by. The distinctive clippity-clop sound of the horse’s hooves could be heard inside the restaurant. “I’ve been avoiding Jesse whenever I can because seeing him and Cindy hurts so much and is just a reminder of what will never be.”
“This too will pass, Lenore.” Sara fingered her beaded necklace. “Someday, when the right man has come along and you’re happily married, you’ll look back at this time in your life and realize that what happened was for the best.”
Lenore was about to respond, when a clean-shaven young Amish man with thick blond hair approached their table.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, looking at Lenore, “but aren’t you Lenore Lapp?”
“Yes, I am.” Lenore had no idea who the man was or how he knew her name. She was about to ask when he said, “I’m Mark Zook. We knew each other in school, but my family moved away when I was in the fifth grade.”
Lenore tapped her chin. “Oh, yes, I remember. It’s nice to see you again, Mark.” She extended her hand. When he clasped her hand and shook it, Lenore noticed that it felt warm and sweaty. “What brings you back to this area?”
“I’m here helping my uncle with his woodworking business.” His blue eyes held no sparkle. Lenore wondered if Mark might not like his job.
“I see.” She gestured to Sara. “This is my cousin, Sara Fuller. She owns the flower shop here in Strasburg, and she and her husband, Brad, live in Lancaster.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Sara.” Mark shook her hand.
Sara smiled. “It’s good to meet you too.”
Fiddling with her napkin, Lenore couldn’t think of anything else to say. She hadn’t known Mark very well in school and knew even less about him now.
Mark’s gaze went back to Lenore. “Maybe we can get together sometime and catch up with each other’s lives.”
When the waitress came with Lenore and Sara’s pizzas, Mark backed slowly away from their table. “Well, guess I’d better get going.”
“It was nice seeing you.” Lenore couldn’t bring herself to respond to his suggestion about getting together sometime. If Mark was looking to establish a relationship with her, she had no interest whatsoever. Lenore couldn’t afford to get involved with another man right now—if that was even what Mark had in mind. Maybe he was only trying to be friendly, and since he had been gone for so long, he might need someone to talk to. Either way, the only thing Lenore needed right now was to find a way to heal the deep ache in her heart.
“Mark seems nice,” Sara whispered after he’d walked away. “Maybe you should get together with him sometime and catch up. It would take your mind off the situation with Jesse.”
Lenore gave a noncommittal shrug.
“And you and I need to get together more often too,” Sara added. “With us both working full-time, we don’t see each other nearly enough.”
“True.” Lenore drank some of her beverage. “I haven’t told anyone this, but it’s getting harder for me to teach school.”
“Oh, why’s that?”
“I had so looked forward to getting married and having a family to care for, and I was prepared to give up teaching.”
“But you still enjoy your job, don’t you?”
“To some extent, yes, but I’d much rather be a wife and homemaker.” Lenore dropped her gaze to the pizza before her. It didn’t hold nearly the appeal as it had before this conversation began.
“I’m sorry, Lenore. You deserve better than this. I wish there was something I could do to alleviate your pain from losing out on a relationship you believed was for keeps.” Sara’s tone was soothing.
“There’s really nothing anyone can do about my situation, but I appreciate your words and emotional support.” Lenore heaved a sigh. “I’m so thankful your mother left you that note in her Bible and told you about our grandparents. Because if she hadn’t, you never would have come here to Strasburg to meet Grandma and Grandpa, and I never would have had the privilege of knowing you.”
Sara smiled. “I feel the same as you. It’s been wonderful to have a cousin I can visit with and share my thoughts and concerns with, as well as the joys in my life. I hope we will always be close—not jus
t in where we live, but in the bond that ties our family together.”
Chapter 35
Gordonville
The following Saturday, Lenore decided to attend a mud sale sponsored by the Gordonville Fire Company. Mud sales, so named because of the condition of the thawing ground in the spring, were major fundraisers for the volunteer fire companies. All the mud sales Lenore had previously attended drew huge crowds, and up for bid were things like hand-stitched Amish quilts, locally made crafts, livestock, baked goods, and all kinds of housewares. Six or more auctions were conducted at the same time as Amish and English folks milled around.
Grandma had come down with a cold and didn’t feel like going out, so Lenore went to Gordonville alone. As she wandered around, perusing various items for sale and smelling the tantalizing aroma of sticky buns and funnel cakes, Lenore caught a glimpse of Mark Zook standing in a crowd of people near one of the food vendors. He must have seen Lenore at the same time, for he waved and headed her way.
“Hey, it’s good to see you again,” Mark said as he reached her. “Have you been here long?”
“About half an hour or so.”
“Did you come to buy or just look around?”
“A little of both. If something catches my eye and I think I can’t live without it, I may place a bid.” Lenore smiled. “How about you? What brought you to the mud sale today?”
“I’m actually looking for a good used buggy. I lost the one I had before moving here. It got demolished when a driver who was talking on his cell phone rear-ended it. My buggy was parked near the hitching rail in the parking lot.”
“What a shame. Were you hurt?”
“No, I was in the store when it happened. Thankfully, my horse was okay.”
“That’s a blessing. So have you seen any buggies here today that you like?”
He shook his head. “Unfortunately, there are only two up for bids. One is a large family buggy, which I have no use for at this time. The other is pretty old, and it probably won’t be long before the rig needs to be replaced or have some major repairs done to it.”
“So what have you been doing for transportation since you moved back here?” she asked.
“Borrowing my uncle’s open buggy, but I need something of my own, and soon.”
“Have you checked with one of our local buggy shops to see if they have any used buggies for sale?”
“Not yet, but since I didn’t have any luck finding one today, I plan to check with one or more of the buggy shops next week.” Mark removed his straw hat and pulled his fingers through his thick blond hair. “When I get a new one, would you wanna go for a ride with me to test out the seats?”
Before Lenore had a chance to really think his request through, she smiled and nodded. “Sure. I’ll give you my grandma’s phone number so you can let me know when.”
Mark offered Lenore a boyish grin and gave her arm a light tap. “Great. I’ll look forward to that.”
The tantalizing aromas from food vendors scattered around the mud sale beckoned to Jesse as he stepped out of his buggy. In a hurry to drop Cindy off at Vera’s so he could get an early start to the mud sale, he hadn’t taken the time to eat breakfast this morning.
After making sure his horse was secured, Jesse strode across the parking area and blended into the crowd. He had a few things on his mind he would like to see. Jesse thought about getting a rocking chair for his place, but the smell of food was rising to the top of his to-do list.
Jesse noticed a place farther down from where he was and started in that direction. He’d only gone a short ways when he spotted Lenore talking to a tall, blond Amish man. He had no beard, so Jesse could only assume the man was not married. Seeing the two of them together caught him off guard so much that he bumped into a kid ahead of him. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Jesse apologized. “I should have been watching where I was going.”
The boy turned around and gave Jesse an amused-looking grin, then moved on with his family. Jesse decided to step out of the way to avoid running into someone else. He moved to the side of the crowd and kept a close watch on Lenore and the blond man as they chatted.
Fists clenched, he took a few steps closer, hoping to get a better look. He’d never seen this fellow before, although he could be from another district in Lancaster County, or even an Amish community in some other state.
When the man touched Lenore’s arm, Jesse felt a burning sensation in his chest. What is wrong with me? He took a few breaths and tried to refocus. There’s not a single reason for me to feel jealous. I have no claim on Mary Ruth’s granddaughter. I told Lenore I don’t love her, so she’s free to see whomever she chooses.
Hoping Lenore hadn’t seen him, Jesse quickly moved on.
Lancaster
Sara and Brad had spent most of the morning shopping at several of the stores at the Rockvale outlet mall. Now, tired and hungry, Sara felt ready to stop somewhere for lunch. “Are you hungry yet, Brad?”
“Sure, anytime you are.”
“How about we go in there and get something to eat?” Sara pointed to a Ruby Tuesday restaurant. Since the first time she had visited the establishment, she’d been hooked on the salad bar, offering so many choices. Brad enjoyed the burgers there, so Sara figured he’d be more than willing to go along with her suggestion.
“Sounds good to me.” Brad put his arm around Sara’s waist as they headed in that direction.
The restaurant wasn’t too busy, so they were shown to a table right away. After Brad placed his hamburger order, he told Sara to go ahead to the salad bar.
When she returned to the table with a plate full of her favorite salad items, they bowed their heads for silent prayer. When Sara finished praying and looked up, she was surprised to see Rick Osprey standing quietly at their table.
“I don’t mean to interrupt, Pastor Fuller, but I saw you and your wife sitting here and wanted to come over and let you know that I won’t be coming to your church anymore, or attending the Bible study for new believers.”
Brad tipped his head. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He glanced at Sara, then back at Rick. “Is there a problem—something you’d like to talk about?”
“No, not at all. I won’t be back because I have a new job opportunity in Cincinnati. Me, my wife, Tammy, and our two boys will be moving to Ohio next week.”
Sara’s fingers twitched as she rolled her spoon back and forth next to her plate. A desperate need to know if Rick might be her father gave Sara the boldness to ask him a few questions.
“When we spoke at my flower shop, Mr. Osprey, you mentioned that you had known a young Amish woman named Rhoda Lapp when you were a teenager.”
He nodded.
“When I asked how well you knew her, you said you didn’t know most of the Amish girls that well, and you started to say something more, but then you never finished your sentence because you looked at your watch and realized you had to go somewhere.”
“Yeah, that’s right, but what’s that got to do with anything? I mean, since you’re obviously not Amish, why would you care about an Amish woman who was about the same age as me?”
“Was she your girlfriend?” Sara asked, without answering his question.
Rick shook his head, and his posture stiffened as he continued to remain next to their table. Sara wondered if she had touched a nerve. “No, of course not. I was dating Tammy Cantrell at the time, and I ended up marrying her.” He squinted at Sara. “You never answered my question: Why all this interest in an Amish woman named Rhoda?”
“She was my mother.” Sara’s face heated as she averted her gaze. “But I’ve never known who my biological father was.”
“That’s a shame. If I had a daughter like you, I’d want her to know who I was. Tammy and I have two boys, but she’s always wanted a girl.”
“About Rhoda … Did she have a boyfriend—someone who hung out with your group?” Brad spoke the words Sara was about to ask.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I barely knew the yo
ung woman, and she showed no interest in me—although I did see her talking to a couple of other guys in our group once. I suppose she could have been involved with one of them.”
“Do you remember any of their names?” Sara felt that the truth was at her fingertips, yet she couldn’t quite reach it.
“Sorry, I don’t.” Rick gave his ear a tug. “’Course, Tammy had me so mesmerized, I didn’t pay attention to much else going on.”
“I understand. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us.” Sara spoke quietly, hoping she wouldn’t break down. Rick Osprey was her last shred of hope, and since she didn’t know the name of the other young men in the group, there was no one else to ask.
Brad stood and shook Rick’s hand. “I enjoyed the opportunity to meet you, and you’ll certainly be missed at church.”
“Yeah, I’ll miss attending there too, but I can’t pass up this new job opportunity.”
“I understand.” Brad reached in his pocket and pulled out one of his business cards. “Once you’re moved and settled in your new home in Cincinnati, give me a call. I know a pastor in that area, and you might consider trying out his church.”
“I’ll do that.” Rick smiled. “My two youngest boys are teenagers, so it would be good for them to attend church and get to know some other young people their age.” He reached out and shook Sara’s hand. “It’s been nice meeting you too, Sara.”
She nodded and smiled. As much as it pained her, Sara resolved to drop the search she’d started a few years ago and learn to live with the knowledge that it must not be meant for her to find her father.
Chapter 36
Gordonville
When Jesse entered Vera and Milton’s house to pick up Cindy, he discovered her sitting on Milton’s lap in the living room. Since they were both asleep, Jesse went to the kitchen, where he found Vera at the table with a crossword puzzle.
“How did things go at the mud sale?” she asked, looking up at Jesse. “Did you find anything interesting?”
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