Bad Traveler

by Lola Karns

  “No, thank you, Dr. Jones.” Coffee couldn’t wash away the lump forming in his throat. “You think he wants to reconcile with Gwen?”

  “Yes, I do. And I fear my daughter is foolish enough that she’ll put her daughter first without considering her own needs and the needs and desires of those with her best interests at heart. I don’t know what Cody is up to, but it can’t be good. He’s a disaster. Not too meddle in the affairs of others, but you and Gwen seem…bonded. You might want to think about whether you are willing to fight for her.”

  That battle was a no-brainer.

  Chapter Sixteen

  With Chloe strapped in the car seat, she rolled down the driveway. Ice crunched under her tires. It was too blustery to walk to the restaurant for an early brunch. By ten thirty, the church crowds started rolling in, making parking impossible and the wait for tables too long for Chloe’s level of patience. As Gwen approached the hostess, Cody stood up tall from a corner table and waved.

  He was attractive, even if his black hair did need a trim. Collared shirts didn’t show off muscular arms as well as T-shirts, but for once, he’d dressed up. Perhaps he wanted to appear responsible or perhaps to blend in with the college crowd as much as a guy who looked like a professional fighter slash firefighter could. His work-place injuries couldn’t be too severe, at least not enough to interfere with his workout routine. He was a handsome man, and she appreciated the effort he put into today. On the other hand, she’d tossed on a Ravens hoodie, jeans, and snow boots.

  His gaze bore into her as she walked across the dining room and put Chloe in the highchair. He let her handle Chloe, though he did help with the diaper bag and her coat. Chivalry wasn’t dead. Arms the size of tree limbs gripped her chair from behind. As the chair neared the table, he kissed her on the cheek. He’d done that hundreds of times while they were together. A cold shiver ran down her spine.

  “Thanks for agreeing to meet me for a little family time.” The last few words rumbled in the back of his throat, in a seductive purr.

  Warning lights flashed in her mind. This was the man she remembered falling for. Maybe he was taking his medication again, the one that kept him more even-tempered—until he went off them and got weird. The pills she’d coaxed him into taking time and time again. He must be on them again.

  Cody was making an effort to know his daughter. Since everything she’d read claimed fathers should be an important presence in a child’s life, she would make an effort, too. It was easier on neutral turf to remember he had redeeming qualities.

  She skimmed the menu, refusing to look at him. “It’s the least I could do. You traveled all this way to see Chloe.”

  “This isn’t about Chloe. I wanted to see—”

  The server arrived, interrupting his thought.

  Relief swept through her bones as she requested coffee and French toast. She didn’t want to hear the end of his sentence. After Cody ordered half the menu, she pulled an assortment of jars, cups, and spoons out of the diaper bag.

  “I find it easier to feed Chloe before my food arrives. I brought pears, oatmeal, and a blend of chicken and apples. Would you like to help feed her?” Keep the focus on Chloe, keep the focus on Chloe.

  “That didn’t go so well last time.”

  “Her tooth pushed through yesterday. Besides, practice makes perfect.”

  He hesitated and then reached for the spoon dangled in front of him. She snatched her hand away, unwilling to risk a touch. The tiny thing looked ridiculous in his oversize hand. The spoon had to be smaller than his pinky. After twisting off the lid, she set the open jar of chicken and apples in front of him.

  “Chicken for breakfast? Gross.”

  “This from the man who ordered half a pig to accompany his scrambled eggs and pancakes.”

  “You always have to overthink things. It ain’t that complicated.” He put some food on the spoon. “Open wide, here comes the airplane. That’s how you do it, right?”

  “She’s a good eater. So far, I haven’t needed tricks to get her to eat.” Concentrate on Chloe and the spoon.

  “You’ve done good with her.”

  Chloe kicked her legs and opened her mouth again as soon as he pulled the spoon away.

  “Thank you.”

  “I never meant for it to be like this,” he continued, in spite of her scowl. “I didn’t want you to take off with Chloe and leave.” He put down the spoon and put his hands to his hairline, but Chloe’s sharp cry demanded more food. Shut up and feed Chloe. Instead, he looked at her with sad puppy-dog eyes. “Gwennie, I screwed up, and I screwed up bad.”

  “Oh, there was screwing involved.” The sarcasm was lost on him.

  “I freaked out. The whole idea of being married, having kids, having to get a different job when I flunked the fire test, buying a house. It scared me.”

  “I was scared, too. Throwing up morning, noon, and night is pretty unsettling, especially when the guy who’s supposed to be there to help and support was never around because he was too busy running around with a teenager.”

  His betrayal no longer had emotional power. Her bitterness dissipated the night she and Kyle waited at the hospital for word on Coach Meyer.

  “I deserve that. I am sorry, ya know.”

  Their food arrived. Cody dove into his plates while she alternated between nibbles of her food and feeding their daughter. The jarred food disappeared by the spoonful. She juggled twenty pounds of girl on her lap and tried to eat around her, without making a mess. The one piece she dropped on her lap was a gooey, buttery, syrupy bite of French toast that Chloe shoved in her mouth. She extracted it, but not before noticing the beatific expression the sweet syrup brought to her face.

  Her hot coffee grew cold, neglected out of fear she’d bump the mug and burn both of them. Kyle would make sure she got to drink her coffee while it was still hot. He was that kind of guy. Meanwhile, Cody didn’t take a drink until all the food had disappeared from his plate.

  “You know I’m sorry, right, babe?”

  “Don’t call me babe. You lost that right when you found a girlfriend.”

  “She wasn’t a…. Aw, hell, Gwennie. You weren’t putting out and she was. She was rubbing up—”

  “Stop. It’s done.”

  “I was dumb, and now I’m sorry. I feel bad for everything that I missed, ya know? Like seeing Chloe grow up. She’s way bigger now than she was in October, better, too. She makes cool noises. I missed you more. I’m jealous of all the time she gets with your boobs and you.”

  “Please.” Her optic nerves got a good workout with an eye roll. “Feel bad about how you threw away your chance to know your daughter and how you disrespected me, but don’t feel bad for me. Coming back to Corwin has been wonderful. I’m surrounded by family, making new friends, and I have my bakery. Chloe and I manage just fine. Better than fine actually.” Her thoughts fluttered to Kyle. Maybe she’d see him later.

  “But you live with your parents.”

  “Did my father complain about that when you two were out drinking the other night? He misses his quiet office, but he’s the one who set up Chloe’s play area in there. It’s temporary. The rental market opens up in a few weeks, and I have a list of places open to families.”

  Cody’s mouth pressed into a line. She took delight in his struggle to remain in control. “You’ve got it all figured out, then. You’re not a family though. Not yet.”

  He’d gone too far. She and Chloe were a family. Her nostrils flared. If Cody recognized her aggravation, he chose to ignore it.

  “It seems like an okay place, but too freakin’ cold. I wanted to take Chloe to a park, spend some time with her, but it’s too cold. The hotel carpet looks dirty. I saw this show on TV once about dirty hotels. Well, you know what we did when we went to Mexico for the weekend. I don’t have to tell you.”

  She shuddered at the memory, but he went right on talking. “No offense, but your little coffee place ain’t the best place to play with a kid, you know?�
��

  “What do you want, Cody?” Her patience was running low.

  “Is there some place fun I can take her? Like an indoor zoo?”

  “Not really.” His lack of parenting knowledge knew no bounds. If he had Chloe for a whole day, the girl would return home in a diaper ready to explode from being too full, and she’d be hungry or worse. If he proved himself capable of watching her for short period, he might demand more. But what was the point? He’d go back home soon, and she could go back to life as usual. She’d deal with visitation options later, when Chloe was older.

  “Or maybe we could hang out at your parents’ and check out those toys I sent her at Christmas?”

  She resigned herself to spending the day supervising some father-daughter bonding time. Chloe arched back against her, rubbing her eyes. She’d discuss the toys later. “That would be easier. Chloe is ready for her nap. Why don’t you come over about two hours.”

  “Nah. I’ll come over now. Maybe while she’s sleeping we can check out the toys I sent you for Christmas.”

  She remembered that glint in his eye, the one she fell for too many times in Phoenix. His affection repulsed her.

  “If you mean that red monstrosity, I threw it out.” Or used the store credit for everyday underpants. His reddening face was priceless. “Perhaps your little girlfriend would have liked it better.”

  With Chloe’s feeding supplies in the diaper bag, she prepared to leave, but he grabbed her wrist, pulling her firmly to her seat. Chloe continued to wiggle and rub her eyes, grunts and squawks escaping her mouth.

  “Sheila and I are no longer together.”

  She feigned surprise. “Really.”

  “Yeah. We split right after you left. I was broken up about that.”

  She wondered which breakup he meant.

  “Anyway, it’s given me time to think, you know, about you and me and Chloe.”

  His grip loosened on her hand, so she took the opportunity to slip away, diaper bag flung over her shoulder.

  “Let me be clear. There is a me and Chloe, and a you and Chloe, but there is not a you and me.”

  “Sure there is.” He snickered. “We are connected, babe. We have a kid.”

  Chloe’s fussing grew louder. Gwen clenched her teeth so hard she expected a filling to pop out of place.

  “I’m taking her home now. You may come over later.” She hoped her voice sounded as frosty as her car windows in the morning. Once, she had thought they were a good pair, that he needed and loved her, but the more he opened his mouth, the more she regretted the time she spent with him.

  Guilt flooded her system. How could she denigrate the past? She would never regret Chloe. No matter how little she wanted to see him, he was right. They were forever connected. Too bad a better man wasn’t her daughter’s father.

  ***

  Kyle rolled out of bed and started a pot of coffee. He dropped the stainless-steel carafe into the sink. The carafe remained intact. The quiet morning did not. He turned his head toward the loud moan emanating from the couch. “Sorry, Logan.”

  “If I can’t get some sleep, can I at least get some coffee?”

  “I’m working on it. Besides, you didn’t have to stay out so late last night.” With the press of a button, the machine whirred to life. His coffee would pale compared to Gwen’s.

  “I did have to stay out. I was on a mission for you, remember?”

  Coffee dripped into the carafe, and he pulled two mugs from the cabinets. “Right. Let’s debrief.”

  Listening and prodding his cousin with questions, he learned a considerable amount, in spite of Logan’s disorganized recounting and his hazy memories. He assessed the situation later in the day, after Logan went home.

  As expected, Cody had accepted Logan into his confidence during the game, when the two grumped about a bad call. They went out for beers after the game. At the bar, Cody commented on the cute coeds, bought several rounds, and claimed he was in town visiting his girlfriend. According to Logan, he made no mention of having a daughter. Instead, he waxed poetically about Gwen as beautiful, smart, and hot in the sack. The accurate assessment only made him want to hurt the guy more. He confessed to being on the outs with his girlfriend, some hormonal thing. Apart from the occasional nagging, she was all right and desperate to return to his bed.

  Perhaps his opponent for Gwen’s affection was delusional. That would be the best and most likely scenario. Nothing in her behavior made him believe she returned the guy’s affection. Cody insisted she wanted him. He’d failed to mention Chloe to Logan. On the other hand, if Cody appealed to Gwen’s sense of family and duty, would she go with him?

  ***

  Gwen struggled to turn Chloe over to Cody in the afternoon. She didn’t want to trust him. Part of her wanted to say yes when Cody asked her to join them, but he would read it as a sign of her interest in him, not as a sign of her protection of her daughter. How much trouble could they get into running to the store for diapers anyway? This was all about Chloe needing a relationship with her father. In their absence, she cranked up music and worked on developing new recipes. Her mind refused to focus on budgeting. She called Kyle.

  “Caramel brownies? I’ll be there in ten minutes.” And he was.

  Knowing Cody could return any second, they stayed in the kitchen, tasting samples using different types of caramel and running projected costs for materials. Not only had he rallied customers when she first opened and talked her through the rough spots, but he cheered her success. Since that awful airplane ride and a chance meeting in Detroit, her life had improved. Her business and her life seemed like a partnership with Kyle. And he liked chocolate.

  Her ringing cell phone startled her. She checked the number. Cody. Through clenched jaw, she answered. “Hello.”

  “Hey, babe. Chloe got a bump, and she’s bleeding, so we’re going to the hospital.”

  “Oh, my God!” Her chest tightened. Kyle gestured for her to take deep breaths. “Which hospital?”

  “I don’t know. We’re in the car still.”

  “Go to the one near your hotel. I’ll meet you there.”

  She ended the call, certain she would crumple in a heap on the floor if not for Kyle’s supportive touch.

  The next few minutes blurred into a series of motions achieved without her awareness. Somehow, he got her out of the house and into the hospital. His presence kept her from spilling into utter panic.

  At the reception desk, she stuttered, unable to form the words. Kyle took charge, explaining how her daughter had been brought here. When they learned Chloe wasn’t registered as a patient, the nurse directed them down another hall toward triage.

  The vise of terror squeezing her lungs broke free. If it were serious, Chloe would be under the doctor’s care already, given her age. Walking away from the desk, she sensed the receptionist giving her the stink eye, accusing her of being a bad mother who’d lost her injured child. Why had she let Cody go off with Chloe? How could he have let her get hurt? Her fists itched to inflict bodily harm of her own, but Cody’s muscles put a bodybuilder’s to shame. Her mind raged, blaming Cody’s lack of attention and her own foolishness for Chloe’s injury. At least Kyle stood beside her.

  The patient intake room had low-back vinyl couches, low tables, and a more modern decor than the waiting room where she sat weeks ago with Kyle and Coach Meyer’s wife. She scanned the room, trying to spy Cody. Her diaper bag rested on the floor at a nurse intake booth.

  Sweeping Chloe into her arms as soon as she reached the cubical, she glared at Cody. He looked humbled. For once, his expression lacked swagger, arrogance, and lust. Her fingers traced Chloe’s face. Relief flooded her body. Chloe’s fat lip needed an ice pack, not stitches.

  The nurse drummed her fingers on the countertop. “Identification and insurance card please.”

  “Not necessary. I’m so sorry to have wasted your time for a little bump. I’ll follow up with her pediatrician tomorrow.”

  The nurse sho
ok her head, closed down the screen, and dismissed them. Gwen indicated Cody should follow her to a quiet corner of the waiting area.

  Chloe’s presence kept her from throttling Cody. Restraining her voice to no more than a hiss, she started with a few sugary words, praising his concern and willingness to attend to Chloe’s medical needs. She bit her tongue as Cody explained that he let Chloe down on the floor of the toy store because she was fussing in her stroller. When she climbed on a shelf, she slipped.

  “Accidents happen.” Inwardly, she seethed. Who let a nine month old loose in a store? Still, Cody had panicked the same way she did when her baby got her first scratch. Bloodcurdling screams brought nurses running from all over the nursery ward. Her cheeks burned in remembered embarrassment of the nurse’s casual assessment that Chloe’s fingernails needed a trim. She’d come a long way as a parent. That Cody freaked out in the store proved he was trying to become a good one, too.

  Still seated in the cubical chairs, he questioned her willingness to have Chloe checked out by doctors.

  “The bleeding stopped, and she’s acting like herself.” Her meager health insurance coverage had factored into her decision to wait. She couldn’t afford a trip to the hospital, not unless it was a true emergency. No time like the present to discuss this idea.

  “Raising a child is expensive, especially medical care. If I use my insurance too much, they’ll raise my rates or, worse, drop me. The Christmas gifts were nice, but maybe you could also help with expenses like the health-insurance premium.”

  He sat back, looking deep in thought, or as deep as a shallow man could. He nodded. “I’ll make some calls, see if I can get her on my coverage.”

  His offer was more than generous. At most, she hoped he might contribute a bit of money, but this was better. The fire department offered great coverage. Adding Chloe to his policy would be a huge help. Maybe, just maybe, he was growing up a little.