Riptide (Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances Book 2)

by Michelle Mankin

  She had eventually given in, but she wouldn’t have if she had known how hard I got just thinking about her. The quickie hadn’t helped matters at all.

  * * *

  Karen

  Front row seats, just behind the pit packed with rabid Dirt Dogs fans. The band had sold out both their back to back shows at the Garden within hours of the tickets going on sale eleven months ago.

  I was thrilled for Ramon. I didn’t begrudge the guys their success. They had come a long way since that first mini tour up the SoCal coast in Ash’s father’s Volkswagen bus. But as I stared at the dark stage and the spot to the left of the center mic where I knew Ramon would stand, I noted the fever pitch of anticipation in the crowd growing, but I didn’t feel right about being a part of it. The empty seat beside me added to my guilt. It wasn’t so much that I had come knowing that Dominic wouldn’t approve. It was because of my own thoughts regarding Ramon.

  He tempted me.

  Not because he was a rock star that millions of women around the globe coveted.

  Not because of his sexy body that made him the number one score for the groupies.

  Not because of how sinfully handsome he was with those dark glossy curls, that piercing gaze and that half-mocking smile.

  It was because he was my best friend, the person who understood me better than anyone else, more than the man I had married who didn’t seem to realize, or didn’t care anymore how much it hurt me every time he left me.

  Isolated. Lonely. Heartsick.

  Most of my married life I had been like that…a widow’s existence though my husband was very much alive.

  Suddenly a scintillating guitar rift split my thoughts and nearly ripped the roof off the venue. The fans went nuts. I rose from my seat like everyone else around me. Purple and blue beams came together illuminating the side of the stage where the Dirt Dogs’ guitarist appeared. Cock sure confident, his shoulders back, his shirt unbuttoned to the waist, his jeans hanging low, he strode across the stage, commanding the sold-out crowd’s attention. When he reached his mic, he leaned backward in a lazy repose, his fingers flying effortlessly across the fretboard of his Les Paul.

  Inwardly I swooned, acknowledging that the rock god thing factored prominently in my more elaborate private fantasies.

  * * *

  “What’d you think of the show?” Ramon swaggered off the stage amid thunderous applause.

  “I thought you were fantastic.” I smiled euphorically, a rush buzzing along my skin from the energy the Dogs had conjured from notes, lyrics and a monumental dose of attitude.

  He liked my answer. Grinning, he shook out his sweat drenched hair the same way he did whenever he emerged from the ocean.

  “Ramon!” I complained, letting out an affronted squeak and jumping backward too late to avoid the spray.

  “Glad you made it, surfer girl.” He lifted his chin as someone stepped behind me. A glance over my shoulder revealed not the security guard who had escorted me backstage, but a guitar tech wearing a black t-shirt that said, ‘staff’ in white block letters. Ramon handed him the well-used Les Paul he had played most of the night, trading it out for a light blue hollow body. “Hurry up guys!” he shouted the abrupt order to his bandmates. Linc, Ash and Diesel were a couple of feet away from us drying off their sweat drenched hair and faces with towels that they hastily tossed aside. “We still have to do an encore,” Ramon explained to me, shifting closer. His heat and his oak moss and sandalwood scent swirled around us. The intensity in his gaze held me spellbound as he leaned in and pressed a soft butterfly kiss to the round of my cheek. “Stay right here,” he stated firmly while I swayed as if I had downed a double dose of straight Tequila. “Don’t you dare go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”

  Legs shaky, I planted them into the black boards beneath me and lifted a hand to hold the kiss that married to another couldn’t mean anything to my flushed skin. I stared at him and only him as he reclaimed the stage with the others. I watched the lights pulse lovingly on his form, transfixed by the glow that seemed to transform him into something more than a mere mortal.

  But as the backstage personnel carried out their assigned tasks, I summoned the will to back away. Ramon wasn’t for me. I had made the mistake of thinking he might have been once before. I didn’t have the reserves to relearn that lesson. Reason prevailing over fantasy, I left the man I wanted to return to the one I had. That I didn’t care to have anymore. But the one I had chosen. The one I was committed to walk it out with. Even if I had to do it mostly alone.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Ramon

  June 2012

  “Where the hell’s your helmet, skateboard girl?”

  Karen whirled around, executing a tight little circle on her board. Eyes that had been dull and lacking her usual passion a moment before lit up brilliantly at the sight of me. “Ramon!” she exclaimed. “How did you know where to find me?” She dismounted, stomped on the back of her board, popped it into her waiting hand and ran to the spectator section to meet me.

  “Your secretary told me you took off early to try out some new wheels. I knew this was your favorite park. I guessed you would be here.” And I rarely announced my intention to visit her in advance anymore. Far too often she would make excuses. Far too many times she would say yes then leave me hanging like she had all those years ago at the Garden.

  “Ah, so you’re a detective now in addition to your other numerous talents.”

  “You have no idea the extent of my talents.” I glanced around the busy skate park with its bowl and trick ramps as if looking for a spot to have my wicked way with her. “It’s kind of busy here. We can try the Helmsley if you’d like a private demonstration.”

  She play punched my shoulder.

  “Weak,” I told her. “And you never answered my initial question. You should wear a helmet. It’s not like you to be so reckless.”

  “I know. I forgot to bring it. I had a rough day. And I wanted to skate.”

  I frowned. Sometimes, I think she courted disaster a little too cavalierly. She had lost more weight since the last time I had seen her months ago. She worked unceasingly, exercised constantly and skated like her sanity depended on her mastering each increasingly risky maneuver. She reminded me of myself, how things had been when I had tried to live my life without her in it, filling the emptiness with nonstop activity so I didn’t have to focus on what couldn’t be.

  I reached for her, trailing the back of my knuckles down her cheek. I had to touch her even if the platonic contact she allowed me was always less than I really wanted. I nearly groaned with satisfaction at the softness of her skin beneath my own. For a too brief moment she leaned into the simple caress as if she were as starved for my touch as I was for hers before she straightened and glanced around. I knew she was looking for photographers. She had mentioned how much the gossip upset Dominic.

  “There aren’t any.” I angled my head toward the still as a statue but alert six foot one shadow underneath the tree. “Roland is my new bodyguard. He did a quick sweep of the area before we moved in. There are no paparazzi in the immediate vicinity, but there’s no telling how long that will last.” I slowly swept my gaze over her. “It’s been forever since I saw you. Can we go somewhere quiet and private so we can talk?”

  Her brow scrunched together as she considered my proposition. “Sure,” she decided, tossing her braid over her shoulder. I was glad she had grown her hair out. The shorter style hadn’t suited her any better than living in the city the past five years had. “But where did you have in mind? I’m not really dressed for hanging out at the Four Seasons’ bar.” She gestured at herself. She wore elbow and knee guards, black pants, and graphic tee tied tightly at her waist so it wouldn’t fly into her field of vision when she went airborne for tricks. I found her outfit adorable. The clothes skimmed her alluring curves, but she did have a point.

  “No, I guess not.” The Seasons was where I was staying. It would be swamped with paparazzi loo
king to catch someone rich or famous up to something that they could spin into the next news cycle.

  “Why don’t we go to my apartment?” she suggested. “I’m tired. I don’t have the energy to go out. I’d like to catch up, but I’d prefer to do it after a hot shower and after I put on some comfortable clothes. We can get something delivered.”

  She didn’t intend for any of what she had said to be sexy, but my body didn’t get the message. The thought of her being naked and wet and soapy made me hard. Hell, just about any thought with her in it turned me on. Luckily, she couldn’t read my mind.

  “Sounds great,” I agreed, shifting to relieve the pressure inside my pants. “But you’ll have to lead the way.” I had never been to her apartment and hadn’t been alone with her in a long while. This would be interesting in more ways than one. I wondered if her place would tell me more about what was going on inside that sweet head of hers lately. Our friendship remained strong. Her name was at the top of my text messages and my recent call log. But the boundaries of our relationship had changed because she had changed. She seemed less and less herself, her slim shoulders and subtle curves too fragile, her vibrant life force sputtering.

  * * *

  Karen

  I dropped my keys in the dish by the door and danced backward, trying to put distance between myself and Ramon. Being smashed into his rock-solid form on the crowded subway had been almost more than I could resist. His cologne, his warmth, his strong arm around me, his long, searching, caring glances…I wanted to succumb to him. I wanted to be the woman I saw reflected in his eyes.

  “There’s bottled waters, wine, beer, the usual things in the fridge. Help yourself to whatever you want.”

  His gaze flared in response to my words, but he didn’t make a suggestive comeback even though I had given him the perfect setup. “I’m fine, Karen. Thanks.” As he moved toward the sofa, his frame, his confident rock star persona and everything about him seeming to dwarf the tiny space.

  “Ok.” I backed away and entered my bedroom, closing the door behind me and trying to catch my breath. My heart pounded while my mind raced with all kinds of thoughts I shouldn’t have. It felt illicit, him being here in my home, in my private space. I glanced at the bed remembering far too many occasions when Ramon had played a starring role in my imagination.

  It’s only the allure of the forbidden with him, I told myself, though deep down I knew that was a big lie. So I told myself the other one. Dominic loves me. But even inside my own head those last three words rang the most hollow. So much time apart. So little interest from my husband. So much apathy on my part. My faith in my marriage ebbed at the water mark. Dominic might say he loved me, but words without the actions to prove it made it more of a theoretical thing. Reenlistment after reenlistment said he loved the Marines and his brothers in it far more than me now. The years of dedicated friendship and understanding from the man in the other room said the opposite. One seemed like a rip current that threatened to drag me under, the other a gentle tide to carry me away from my troubles. It had been unwise to invite Ramon here.

  I stripped, took a shower, washing my body and my hair with practiced efficiency ignoring how much my body ached to be touched. I was by myself too much. My heart brimmed with longing to be held, to be desired, to be appreciated as a woman. My mind didn’t have to strain to conjure up a sexy scene with the bad boy guitarist on the other side of my wall. Those talented fingers of his were probably even now at this very moment sifting through my personal things. That particular thought suddenly got me moving much faster.

  “Hey,” I announced breezily, a little out of breath when I emerged from the bedroom, my hair wet and pulled back into a ponytail and wearing an off the shoulder top and stretchy yoga pants. “I’m really tired.” I had talked myself into doing the right thing. “Would you mind too much if I took a rain check for now? I could come see you tomorrow. There’s a new coffee place near your hotel…” I trailed off when he turned toward me, raking his gaze slowly over me in an appraising way that made my nipples harden and other parts throb. But it was what he held in his hands that made my rapidly beating heart falter. Of all the things in the apartment, he had discovered what revealed the most. The worn notebook I had been journaling in for years, ever since that long-ago conversation when he had suggested I use it as a way to turn my negative thoughts around. Well, I had followed his advice, but the way I usually turned my thoughts positive lately was by thinking about him, the man who paid careful attention to me versus the one who treated me as if I were only an afterthought.

  Any hope that he hadn’t seen the last entry summarizing that sentiment was dashed when he set the journal down and stalked toward me. “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”

  I just shook my head and started to back away from him.

  He reached me in only a few short strides, his strong fingers relentlessly firm around my upper arms as he yanked me to him. Dazed by the intensity of his reaction, I tipped my head back and blinked up at him. The lines of his handsome face were drawn, and his eyes smoldered. Mesmerized, I didn’t dare move as he repositioned, his palms grazing my cheeks as he plunged his fingers into my hair and gently cradled my skull.

  “So beautiful,” he praised. His voice was like crushed velvet and so were his thumbs as he stroked my cheeks with them approvingly. My heart began to race when his gaze dipped to my mouth. I had to part my lips to accommodate my shortened breaths. He lowered his head but too slowly for me. I lifted mine to meet him, wetting my dry lips for the kiss that it seemed I had been anticipating a lifetime.

  I moaned the moment our mouths connected, his lips soft as satin yet firm. Perfect, I thought as he softly brushed the warmth of them teasingly light across the surface of my own. My eyes fluttered open when he lifted his head a fraction. His lips hovered over mine. “Please,” I whimpered, feeling lightheaded. My pulse skittered beneath my skin as I stared into his sinfully dark eyes.

  “Hey, surfer girl.” His voice was an audible caress. “Open your mouth.” His warm breath dampened my lips. “I want to taste you.” He returned his mouth to mine. His lips moved persuasively, coaxing mine to part but coaxing wasn’t necessary. I opened for him feeling it deep within my core, within my very soul, when his tongue penetrated my mouth and swept inside. A rush of wet heat soaked my panties as his tongue touched mine igniting something primal inside of me. Passive before, my hands only resting on his forearms for balance, I leapt into the fire. He set me ablaze, and I wanted to burn higher and hotter. I grabbed his waist. He was all tensed muscle, and I arched my hips into his, urgently seeking and finding his cock thick and hard between us. He groaned into my mouth, my ponytail holder slipping free as his fingers tunneled deeper into my hair. He tugged on the wet strands pulling my head backward so he could deepen the kiss. Waves of pleasure rolled through me as he ravaged my mouth with unrestrained hunger thrusting his tongue in masterfully deep, once, twice, then three times.

  I moaned. I melted. I trembled with molten desire. I heard ringing in my ears as I bunched up the tail of his shirt to rip it over his head. I wanted him naked. I desperately needed to feel his skin against mine. I needed him inside of me. The kiss was a prelude. I wanted it all. I wanted him to take me without holding anything back. I wanted him to make me his own.

  He ripped his mouth from mine breaking the seal between our lips. Our breaths gusted hot between us. Framing my face, his fingertips touching my hair, he stared down at me, a possessive glint within his gaze and beyond that passion, a suppressed longing that seemed to rival my own.

  “I’m going to fuck you, Karen. Right here. Right now. Fast and hard. That’s for starters. Then we’re moving to the bedroom, and I’m going to have you again and again and again until we’re both exhausted and your throat is raw from chanting my name. But you’ve got to switch off your cell first. That ringing is driving me insane.”

  Ringing? Shit. As the noise of the buzzer pierced my haze, the heat in my blood drained away
and my body went cold. “That’s not my cell.” I stumbled away from him, tongue swiping across my bottom lip savoring the wild taste of him even as my heart flooded with icy panic.

  He reached for my arm. I shrugged away, freezing solid as Dominic’s voice blasted into the room from the intercom.

  “Q2. Surprise, honey. I got buzzed in with our next-door neighbor. I saw Ramon’s bodyguard in the lobby. He said you guys just went up and were planning to order takeout. Hope you’ve got enough for three.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Karen

  “I know this wasn’t the life you signed up for when you married me, but if you love me…” Dominic let that supposition hang. We were standing in the middle of our living room. Still wearing his fatigues, he had come straight from the transport plane. I remained in the comfortable clothes I had put on earlier but I wished I had worn body armor instead. His angry barbs had been piercing me since the moment Ramon had walked out the door.

  “I do love you. I do support you. But becoming a Marine was your decision. I was young and naïve. I had no idea what I was getting into. I didn’t realize that military life would be so different from the one we had been living before you enlisted.

  “It’s worlds different.”

  “I know that now. Believe me. But I wonder if you really have any idea what it has cost me. How little sleep I get when you are gone. How much I worry. How my heart races whenever I get a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, or whenever someone unexpectedly knocks at our door.”

  “Q2,” he breathed. “No, I didn’t. You never told me.”

  “You never ask. You just tell me how it’s going to be, then sign up for deployment after deployment, and I accept. I adapt.” I sighed, running a hand shakily over my mouth. I felt sick with guilt. I had kissed another man right here in this room, and it had been beyond anything I had imagined. “Sometimes I think I don’t even know you anymore,” I continued, laying out truths that had been buried too long. “Each time you return you seem more unreachable, less the compassionate artist I married and more the taciturn warrior.”