Yellow (The Safeword Series, #2)

by Ava Claire

  The waiter shuffled over, holding Kara’s drink and an expression so tight with anger that I felt him trembling from several feet away.

  Kara didn’t wait for him to lower it to the table, plucking it right out of his hand. “Now, we can begin.” Her choppy strands flew around her head like blue flames as she whipped her attention to the waiter. “Is there a reason you’re still breathing my air?”

  The kid looked ready to quit, or worse. Mallory jumped in, flashing him a smile and drawing the fire in her direction. “My egg sandwich was delicious, could you recommend anything for...” She glanced down at the menu on the table. “Dessert?”

  The waiter threw a final glare at Kara, then took my sister’s olive branch. I took the opportunity to get to the point.

  “I assume you didn’t ask us here today so we could catch up, so let’s get on with it, Kara.”

  Kara took a loud, obnoxious slurp of her drink before she burned holes through my skull. “Can’t sneak a thing past you.” Her voice darkened, practically blotting out the sun. “And just in case it needs to be said, you can’t sneak a thing past me.”

  “The word ‘sneak’ implies some degree of fear,” I fired back. “Let me assure you, I don’t sneak—and I’m not afraid of you.”

  I knew that fact drove her insane; she was used to the power that fear gives, to having people scramble when she entered a room. She wanted her words to hold the same weight as if God himself was speaking.

  I wasn’t capitulating to her and the fact that she nearly crushed her glass was proof that she was pissed about it. “I’m not here to argue with you, Desmond. I’m here to stress that when you go rogue and do your own thing, the rest of us are left to clean up the mess.”

  She had a flair for the dramatic. “Rogue? Me finally telling a talented cook that, to be frank, is leaps and bounds more skilled than any of the five that are left, the truth-”

  “If you want the truth, reality TV isn’t the place for you. The truth is painful, unhelpful, and since we’re being frank, boring.”

  I tuned out the rest of the conversation, present in body only. I didn’t want to give Kara the satisfaction of knowing that she was right.

  I was the one that pulled out my cellphone, scrolling to the entry I’d created for Sin. All the reasons this thing could end horribly paled in comparison to my need to explore. To figure out what it was about this woman that had gotten under my skin, closer than anyone had been in years.

  I crafted my text, letting her know that this time, I wouldn’t hold back.

  This time, I’d make her scream.

  Chapter Two: Sophia

  “I should end this interview right here. You’ve clearly lost your damn mind.”

  Haunting music drifted like smoke from the speakers overhead. The doors of the elevator were like a fun house mirror, turning our reflections into shapeless, faceless caricatures. The walls seemed to creep in with every passing moment, like some sort of tomb. None of it was nearly as frightening as the glares I was getting from Mary - and the realization that my first swing at this covert stuff had blown up in my face.

  I had no idea how long until we reached our destination; the office, or the roof so she could hurl me from it...

  I bit my lip and cast a cautious eye in her direction. She was a far cry from the grinning woman who greeted me with a smile as big as her curly locks. She’d even hugged me, clucking her tongue at my extended hand, surprising me with how strong she was when she nearly lifted me off the floor. She stared straight ahead now, like she was ready to get out of the elevator before she went off on me.

  “M-Mary,” I stammered, wringing my hands because honestly, I had no idea what else to do with them. “I’m sorry I lied about the bathroom thing-”

  “What else are you lying about, I wonder?”

  Her question was rhetorical, but I answered anyway, probably too quickly to be trusted.

  “N-nothing,” I said weakly. “I...I wouldn’t lie to you...”

  I didn’t finish. I was literally lying right that moment. I wasn’t there to interview because I was an eager sub with bills to pay and kinky itches to scratch. The other reason I didn’t bother wasting her time with excuses and reasons was because she struck me as a woman who could weed out BS, and had zero respect for people who insulted her intelligence, or wasted her time.

  So I told her the truth.

  Well, most of the truth.

  “I did lie.”

  My voice was tentative, conciliatory, but I didn't shy away when she cut her eyes in my direction. I needed to show her that I could be trusted. Avoiding her like I had something to hide would just make her more suspicious.

  “I don’t have nearly as much experience as I said in my email.”

  Her ebony eyes narrowed until they were slits of skepticism. She reached past me to the control panel and I expected her to punch the ‘L’ button and hustle me right out of the building. Instead, she yanked the emergency stop button, bringing the elevator to a shuddering halt.

  She got in my face, crossing her arms against her ample chest. “This is your final opportunity to convince me that you’re the right fit for Hush.” She made a decapitating motion with her pointer finger, her crimson, razor sharp nails glittering. “We can’t have hostesses kicking ass while they’re on the clock.” Her midnight eyes softened. “Even if they deserve it.” She relaxed her arms, but she didn’t move an inch, making me take a small step backward.

  She didn’t have to spell it out for me. This was my shot, and not just my shot to prove that I belonged, but that I could do this; could do what it took to write this story.

  I wiped my clammy palms on the front of my skirt, my nerves trying desperately to do me in. They listed off all the reasons I would fail; that I wasn’t tenacious enough. Sexy enough. Just...anything enough.

  When I silenced my insecurities, I knew exactly what I needed to say.

  “My ex-boyfriend is the one who introduced me to the lifestyle.” It was a lie, but the negative energy that his memory evoked was very real. Powerful enough that she, or anyone who had given their all to a man who didn’t deserve it, could instantly relate. “I thought being submissive was always saying yes; to let him use me and if I let him hurt me, maybe he’d love me.”

  Tears blurred my vision and I had no idea whether Mary was buying it or waiting for me to finish so she could get on with her night. I was lost in the fact that the bits of truth hiding in the lie, that my ex used me, and made me feel like I was worth less than nothing if I wasn’t his version of perfect, still had the power to bring me to tears - and I’d ended things over two years ago.

  Realizing that the only story I’d given Mary confirmed that I wasn’t stable enough for this job, I sniffled and rolled my shoulders back. I put the past behind me and focused on the future.

  “But my story has a happy ending. I finally found the strength to leave him and met a guy who showed me that my ex wasn’t a Dom at all. He nurtured my need to give over control and taught me to trust again.” I fast forwarded to tonight and my altercation a few minutes ago. “That man tonight, he triggered something in me when he grabbed me like he owned me. He reminded me of my ex.” I clenched my teeth, letting my very real disgust flicker all over my face. “I didn’t speak up until my ex nearly ruined me and...’not again’ screeched through my head. I dropped my chin to my chest. “I’m not proud of what I did.”

  Silence followed my confession and when I drew my eyes from the floor to meet Mary’s, the smile she’d first greeted me with was back with a vengeance.

  “Between you and me, that man was overdue for an ass kicking. That you were the one to do it is something you should be very proud of.” Her smile remained, but a bit of the glow dimmed. “We all have baggage; pasts that haunt us. Sometimes it’s just a whisper here, a jump scare there, a full on paranormal mess that drags you back to some really unpleasant shit.” She disengaged the emergency stop and the elevator rumbled back to life. “But the minute
you let the past possess you, that sucker who broke your heart wins.”

  We stopped on the fifth floor and she stepped out first. I waited, still unsure of where I stood with her.

  Mary perched a hand on her hip, giving me a steely look. “You still want this job, or do you want your ex to take this chance from you?”

  “Hell yeah, I want this job,” I answered without hesitation. I followed her, excitement popping in my chest like fireworks.

  I passed the test.

  ****

  “Girl, the Doms are gonna eat you alive tonight.”

  I was in the office with Mary, blushing like crazy. Considering she was the personification of sexy, it was quite the compliment. Her dark hair was in chunky, thick plaits that weaved around her head. Her makeup was perfect, accentuating her high cheekbones and rosy red lips. She wore a lacy, black mask that enhanced her big, brown eyes and a black dress that put every other black dress to shame. She was Beyoncé level gorgeous, with the personality to boot, and she was telling me that I would have problems keeping men away?

  I fixed my wig, even though I knew it wasn’t out of place. That led to me tugging at my skirt, even though it wouldn’t go down any further unless I was pulling it off altogether. It stopped below my buttocks and suddenly that seemed way too short. “You’re just being nice.”

  She rolled her coal lined eyes. “Honey, I don’t waste time on being nice or blowing smoke up people’s asses. Life’s too short to be fake.” She leaned back in her seat and took stock of me like she was seeing me for the first time. “What happened to the firecracker from last night?”

  I didn’t answer her right away, going to the chair in front of her desk and plopping onto the cushion. The truth was one I’d been fighting all day. I never should have answered his text. It was more than the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about the way his hands felt on my body, the look in his eye, like he was starving for me. Me.

  I’d completely forgotten about my story, my name, anything outside of his hand pounding my bottom. Four strikes and I’d forgotten this was all pretend. I’d counted down the hours until my work day was over, spent the three hours after pouring over outfit after outfit, Youtubeing makeup tutorials, and I almost went shopping with money that I didn’t have...for him.

  And now that I was here, and hearing that men, possible sources, would be noticing me, wanting me, and putting me that much closer to my story - it was irrelevant. I didn’t dress for them. I was here for the man in the black mask. It was terrifying to think about because the last time I’d been ready to throw away everything for someone, I ended up alone and forgotten.

  When would I learn?

  I picked up the folder with my name on it, filling out the tax paperwork and putting aside the attachment I had to this virtual stranger. “Just first day jitters.” I initialed and signed all the pertinent places. “I’m still in awe that I’m here, actually.”

  “You’re a natural and you’re gonna do awesome,” Mary assured me.

  I glanced up from my folder and saw she was pouring cherry red wine into two glasses. When I was done, she offered one to me and toasted me, wishing me luck and clarifying that was just custom because I didn’t need luck.

  I smiled and laughed with her, trying to swallow the guilt. Sooner or later, the truth would come out. This place, her identity...would it ruin her? Ruin her career? How could I do that to her?

  How could I do that to him?

  I forced a smile, thoughts rattling in my head. You’re not exposing anyone. The devil on one shoulder consoled me. You’re just telling a story. The angel just shook its head in silent condemnation.

  “Do you know what time it is?”

  The office door had already clicked shut, so I knew Mary hadn’t heard him, but I still blushed, keeping my distance.

  It wasn’t fair.

  He looked even sexier than last night. His suit was charcoal gray, his dark hair slicked back and intensifying the angular perfection that was his face. The only thing that was masked was his eyes and nose. He wore the same black mask from the night before.

  I couldn’t look at him any longer than a few moments because my cheeks were on fire; the ones on my face that gave me away immediately...and the other ones that remembered his palm.

  Stop thinking about the spanking. Stop thinking about the spanking... “I’ve got to head downstairs to check in with Liza.”

  “Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. We’re going to Dungeon #3, where I expected you to be at 8PM.” He glanced at the watch on his wrist, though I knew he was the kind of man who knew the time, because it stood still and moved at his whim. “It is now 8:15. I should give you a lick for every minute that you left me waiting-”

  “Left you waiting?” I slipped in, focusing on something besides the fact that the word ‘lick’ had suddenly become the sexiest word I’d ever heard. “You could have any woman here. Why would you wait for me?”

  His lips became a thin line and I knew I was screwing this submissive thing up again. When he stalked in the opposite direction, my butterflies flew from my gut to my throat and I almost called out after him. He stopped a few feet away, in front of a marble table leaning against the wall and some framed piece of art.

  My mouth opened, a croak coming out. Wait! I’m afraid. I’m a fraud. Any closer and it’ll be too late, you’ll have me right where you want me. But he beckoned me with a finger instead of reading my mind. Reading my apprehension for what it really was: guilt.

  If I was smart, I’d walk away, but, damn it, I was completely idiotic. And horny. And curious.

  When I got closer, I realized it wasn’t a piece of art at all on the wall, it was a mirror. The glass was framed in ornate ivory and silver. He wasn’t looking at any of it. He was gazing at my reflection.

  “Why you?” he mused softly. “You don’t see what I see?”

  I bit my lip, sure my cheeks were the same color as my red skirt, so that was all I saw. “A blushing, mouthy girl in a costume?”

  He stepped behind me and I gasped when one of his arms circled my waist and the other stretched across my shoulders. The nearness of him was dizzying, his scent like something powerful and painfully out of my league. One look into the mirror, at him, and I saw that was all in my head. He stroked my shoulder with his fingertips, his touch sweeping upward to my chin.

  He held me steady. “You are so much more than meets the eye, Sophia. Your eyes, the adorable way you blush...” His fingertips danced to my neck and I hitched a breath when he went lower still, skimming the valley between my breasts. “Your body is delicious, but that’s not why I’m here. That’s not why I asked you to meet me tonight.”

  I was trembling, my voice sure to come out in a gravelly, unsure mess, but I tried to speak any way. “W-Why? Why did you ask me to meet you tonight?” I knew it was a bad idea, to look him in the eye if his touch was making thought and speech problematic; his eyes were the first thing that made me pause and flipped my world upside down.

  I found his gaze and I saw the answer flashing in his gaze, holding me rapt.

  “I’ve never met anyone like you,” he said softly. Tenderly. So stark from the hard line of his jaw and his fiery green eyes.

  When the hottest man you’ve ever laid eyes on chooses you, and looks at you like that choice wasn’t even a hard one to make, what else do you say besides, “Let’s go to the room.”

  I didn’t realize that I’d taken his hand, or that he let me take his hand until we stopped in front of the door for Dungeon #3 and he gently extricated himself from my hold.

  He typed in the access code, slowly this time, like he was worried.

  As soon as the door clicked shut behind us, I dove in with the apologies. “Sorry if I seem overly eager.” I sponged off my perpetually wet palms on my skirt. “And if I drenched your hand in sweat.”

  He didn’t say a word, so I kept talking.

  “It’s just, this is all so far from my element.”

  “Subm
itting?” One word from him and he said it suspiciously. Like he was questioning his own sanity with every passing moment.

  “Not submitting,” I lied, trying to tone down my nerves. The last time I’d come in this room, high off him, adrenaline, and the brazenness of grabbing him without permission, I’d been on some other plane of existence. A place where things that were created to inflict pain didn’t frighten me, they excited me. Where a man that I knew nothing about besides that he liked to hurt me, didn’t make me want to run as far away as humanely possible, but come closer. Delve deeper into his world of kink and agony. Delve deeper into my own dark desires.

  I didn’t go skipping from whip to whip like last time. I waited until he told me what he wanted. What he needed. When he didn’t say a word, again, I filled up the silence with the mess in my head. “Feeling so strongly for someone is out of my element.”

  His brow vaulted skeptically, so I decided to do something pretty crazy.

  I told him the truth.

  “I like you. I know how insane that must sound. I know nothing about you, besides that you’re a Dom, you’re clearly someone important, and you’re sexy as hell.” I took a breath, not thinking about how surreal all this was, or that I may be being a little too forthcoming. “When you texted me, I almost squealed. Squealed like some lovesick teenager.” Oh my God Sophia. Stop. Talking. “Not that I’m in love with you...” I groaned, turning back to the door. I was sure he was about to have some emergency, some reason to get him out of here and away from me, because I was clearly crazy. “I’ll just show myself out.”

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I was facing the door, gripping the golden knob, squeezing my eyes shut. I didn’t know if I’d imagined his question, but I’d already shown my crazy, so there was no use dialing back. “You’d have to be as insane as me to not be utterly done after what I just said.”

  “Did I say I was done?” He didn’t pause for a response. “Did I tell you to do anything at all?”