Much later, they lay together, naked, and enjoying each other’s bodies to the fullest, touching, caressing, tasting.
However, reality came rushing back as he glanced out the loft window. "When do you have to leave?" she asked.
"Very shortly, my darling."
"Oh Leroy…oh…so soon?" Her tears choked her as they rolled down her cheeks.
"Yes, honey. Forgive me for being selfish and rushing you, but I couldn’t stand another minute thinking someone else would have you. Now I know you are mine, I'm a happy man, today."
She lay back against the hay. "No one will ever have me but you."
He stared at her a long time, his eyes going slowly over as she stretched herself in the hay. Her lovely body moved seductively as he watched.
"My God…can it be possible…I want you again?" He whispered as he came to his knees and touched every part of her, closing his eyes he memorized her.
"We still got time…" he murmured.
"Then let’s don’t waste a moment of it." She said and reached to pull him down to her again.
She wasn't timid or shy.
He smiled down into her love drugged face. "I’m going to be very tired tonight, but very happy, too."
She smiled. "This memory will last forever."
Chapter Fifteen
Josey couldn’t stop the tears when Leroy and his men saddled up and left the yard. There was no telling where he might have to go, or how long it would be before she saw her beloved again. He’d even taken a lock of her hair and put it in his shirt pocket. Her happiness at being his wife though sustained her. For this was her dream, and she couldn’t wait for his return so she could make him the happiest of men.
Rose had packed as much food as possible for the men to take with them and they all wanted to give her a hug before they left. Hank soot aside to let them.
Still, a farm was not something to be idle with and the chores and the everyday routine needed to start again. At least this time she knew what she was working toward. Their marriage seemed almost like a beautiful dream that ended too quickly.
~*~
Spring came with a flourish of wild flowers and budding trees. The farm looked alive once more.
Hank had driven the buggy into town for a few supplies and George was busy mending fences. This was Rose’s chance to talk to Jacob once more. She wandered out to the barn. Jacob was doing a little blacksmithing. He often shoed Hard Tack and practiced the trade when he had the spare time.
Rose ambled over to him. "Jacob…you’ve been mighty quiet lately."
Jacob tried his best to not look at her, but she noticed how his gaze strayed to her rounding belly. "Yes ma’am."
"Do you want to touch me there?" she encouraged.
He nodded, and extended his hand to her round belly. "It's just as I pictured you, beautiful." He whispered.
"Jacob, I been thinking. Mama freed you…and you’re still here. You don't have to be. You obviously chose to be. How come?"
Jacob hammered the hot steel, and then glanced at her. "We done talked about what we were to do about the baby. If the babe is mine, I ain’t gonna walk off and leave her. The baby is a part of you, and I couldn’t leave you or the baby like that. I'll claim it as my own, and raise it and be the happiest man in the world."
"I see." She moved around him closer. He pushed her back. "It’s dangerous if you get too close to the fire."
She nodded.
"So you are staying because of the baby?" She asked, her voice tight with restraint.
"And you…I wouldn’t leave you, not knowin’," he answered. "I’m not that kind of man. If the babe is mine, I’ll do like we said and raise her myself, and you can still be a part of her life, if you want."
"Of course I would want to be a part of her life too, it’s part of you…part of me. Oh Jacob, do you realize you just called it a her?" Rose answered almost in a strangled voice. "You haven’t touched me since…am I unattractive to you now that I’m with child?"
He stopped what he was doing and looked at her with wide unbelieving eyes. "You are always attractive to me, Miss Rose. Why…you are the most beautiful woman I knowed. And even more so just thinking you might have my child tucked inside."
His words warmed her. Jacob had the nicest way of putting things. She had missed him so much she couldn’t believe how much her love had grown for him. Her respect for him had grown too. She so wished things were different.
But a hint of maturity had quelled her appetite. "Thank you, a woman likes to hear things like that when she’s caring a man’s baby and as big as a barrel." She tried to laugh.
"You’re big with baby, that’s all." he said. "You…ain’t that big, baby." He winked.
"Have you missed me?" She whispered as though it were necessary to do so.
"Every day. I dream about holdin' you in my arms, and lovin' on you and touching that soft swell of yours." he whispered back.
"The way you say that, makes me warm all over. Me too." She kept her voice down.
"You still gonna marry Hank?" he asked lowly.
"Guess that depends." She sighed.
"On what?"
"Well, if it turns out the baby is yours, he might not marry me. Hank and George would know." She sighed heavily. "I mean, I couldn’t keep it a secret…at least not here."
"No, I reckon not. I hadn’t thought of that. I’m sorry. We should have had more sense. Mrs. Anderson would be ashamed of me."
"No she wouldn’t. She’d be proud as a peacock of you, Jacob. Mama loved you almost as much as I do." Rose turned about to look at him. "The blame’s with me, that’s who she’d be ashamed of. I never could talk to her about anything. I often wanted to talk to her, ask her things. But somehow I just couldn’t. And she always looked at me like I was dirty or something. That bothered me. I never understood."
"Why you think she’d be proud of me?" He asked obviously stunned by her statement.
"Because you are a man, Jacob. A good man, who…well, despite everything is willin’ to do the right thing. She’d be proud of you, and ashamed of me for my wantonness," Rose admitted.
"Love ain't nothin' to be ashamed of."
"No, but wanting and needing you is…"
"You cain’t hep that Miss Rose. I knowed you couldn’t hep it. Some is that way I guess. And I couldn’t hep feelin’ the way I do about you neither. I wanted to. I really did. But I watched you grow from a beautiful little girl child. Even then, I had feelings I shouldn’t have. You’re the only lady I ever had, Miss Rose, the only one." He said almost like a promise. "And truly, the only one I ever wanted."
"I am?" She stared into his face.
"Yes ma’am. The only one…"
"I didn’t know you loved me that much Jacob." Her voice faltered.
"Don’t cry, please don’t cry. I hates to see ya cry." Jacob came up to her, but still didn’t touch her.
She leaned back against him then, her body going limp, his arms encircling her as he caught her to him. His hands sought the softness of her breasts as he massaged them with the palm of his hand.
"Does this feel good?" He whispered in her ear.
She closed her eyes and covered his hands. "Yes…"
She stayed in his arms until she could stand it any longer, then turned tip-toed and kissed him solidly on the lips.
After they were breathless and panting, he pulled away looking into her somber eyes.
"Don’t…do this Miss Rose…we done said our goodbyes. And touchin' you like this is heaven and hell, I want you so bad."
She whirled around in his arms. "I don’t want to say goodbye to you Jacob not ever, I love you too much to say goodbye. I've thought about it forever, and I know I can't say goodbye. Isn’t there another way? I ache inside thinkin’ about you. I want to be in your arms. I want to tell the world how I feel about you. That's how your love makes me feel Jacob, happy."
"Nobody wishes it more than me." He kissed the top of her head hard, and set her at arm’s
length. "Wait till the baby comes, then we’ll talk."
"But the baby has nothing to do with how I feel about you, Jacob. That's not going to change today, tomorrow, or years from now." she declared. "I need you to hold me, love me, kiss away the sorrows."
"I know…that’s true. I seen it in your eyes every time I look at you.…I love you…more than I can say. I don't want you to be sad, ever." he whispered, holding her against him, just for a second. "I truly do. And I guess God himself will tell me someday why we cain’t be together."
But as silence filled the place, he added in an almost whisper. "It cain’t be, Miss Rose. I have thought about this a long time. But even if this child is mine, we can’t be together, as man and wife, and that’s how I want you. I’ve dreamed on it. As my wife, mine…no one else’s. I’d want to claim you every day of my life, fill you with my love. But it's not to be…don’t you see."
"Oh Jacob, kiss me." She tiptoed to reach his lips trying to pull his head down to hers. At first he relented, his lips covering hers so masterfully, but he pushed her gently away.
"No…Let's don’t torture us. Jest…go back inside Miss Rose. And when the baby comes, we’ll see."
Realizing he wasn’t going to weaken, she backed away.
He blew her a kiss and turned away from her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she went back toward the house.
Her love for Jacob had grown and she couldn’t stop the fear that she was losing the only man she ever loved. Hank was a good man, a decent man, she should worry about him. But it was Jacob she needed.
~*~
Josey didn’t know what to do with Rose at times. She cried every day more and more. She even went to the doctor. However, he simply told her that having a child sometimes made women weepy.
Rose never spoke of her feelings though and Josey never knew for sure what was wrong.
It was a blessing when finally one rainy afternoon, when the chores seemed to come to a standstill that Rose began having pains.
Josey asked George to fetch the doctor. Jacob stood staring, his mouth hanging open. Rose looked at him a long time.
Josey had done everything she could to make Rose comfortable as they waited hours for the doctor to arrive. Fretting, she had never birthed a baby, and wasn’t sure what to expect.
The doctor checked Rose and nodded. "Well, we’ll be having a baby soon." Josey nodded and frowned.
The doctor closed the door and began his task of preparing Rose for the baby. Rose was in such pain she screamed several times, each time Jacob came running up to the house. Josey explained it was natural and that the baby was coming. Jacob's fists would nearly turn white every time Rose whimpered and Josey began to guess that the relationship of Jacob and her sister was more serious than first thought.
All three men paced outside, as though it were their child. Even George.
Hours passed and nothing happened. Josey tried to settle everyone’s nerves with a cup of tea, but no one was going to be happy until Rose had the baby.
The doctor came out after a long while. He didn’t say a word. "Well?" Josey asked.
"She’s fine."
"And the baby?"
"Isn’t here yet. She’s having a hard time. I’m going to have to turn the baby. It’s in the wrong position. That’s why she’s in such pain. She really is in pain, Josey. I’ll need you to help me hold her."
Josey turned white. "She’s going to be all right, isn’t she Doc?" Josey wailed. "I mean…she not gonna die, is she?"
"I think she’ll be fine, yes," he said. "Now, I’ll need a cup of tea. You’ll need to wash your hands thoroughly and come inside to assist." he instructed.
Josey nodded, and got his tea right away. She glanced outside and saw the men still pacing, still nervous. Right now she couldn't comfort them, she was terrified.
Deciding she couldn’t help them, she went inside and set the tea on the dresser.
Okay, you hold her legs apart and keep her knees up. I’m going to try to turn the baby. Once I do, the baby will be born." he announced.
"Josey." Rose cried aloud, her hair nearly soaked with sweat, her brow furrowed with pain. "Oh dear God, it hurts so bad…"
"I know love, but hang on, this will all be over soon." She assured her and glanced at the doc.
The doctor gently moved his hands inside, and moved the child ever so slowly, Rose yelled, then screamed. However, as he finally got the position he needed, the baby came out into his arms quite naturally.
Josey gasped. "Oh my God…"
The doctor chuckled and began cleaning the child off, then cut the cord and wrapped him in a blanket that Josey had brought.
"It’s a boy, Miss Rose…with the reddest hair I’ve ever seen…" Rose got a glimpse of the child, and passed out.
The doctor finished cleaning her up, and Josey took the baby outside for everyone to see.
George just smiled and shook his head. Jacob’s eyes were big and wide and a stiff smile played at his lips. "He’s sure little…" Jacob managed to say in a strangled voice.
"Yes…he is."
Hank looked at the baby and breathed a sigh of relief as he took the child into his arms. The baby grabbed his finger and wouldn’t let go. Hank laughed. "Would you look at that? He’s strong for a baby."
Everyone laughed.
Josey felt exhausted and sat in the rocker on the porch. It didn’t take much to figure out who’s baby it was. Hank was definitely the father, Josey surmised, and she was so happy for him because he knew it was his too.
The other two men walked off after a while and Josey noticed neither said much. "He looks like you, Hank." She laughed.
Hank stared down at the baby and smiled. "Yeah…he sure does." He smiled at Josey. "How’s Rose?"
"She’s sleeping. Doctor said she’s been through a lot, and to let her sleep."
When the doctor came out on the porch, he glanced about. "Well, she’ll be fine with some rest."
"Thanks Doc." Josey got up to walk him to his buggy. "None needed, just doing my job."
"I’m so glad you were here."
He smiled, nodded, and was off.
When Josey joined Hank on the porch again she recognized that this made Hank officially family and wondered what his intentions were. "So…now what Hank?"
Hank leaned back in the rocker and smiled as he snuggled the child close to him. "Now comes the hard part."
"What do you mean?" Josey asked.
"I mean, getting your sister to marry up with me. I been buggin’ her forever…and she ain’t never said yes yet. But this kid is mine and there ain’t no denying that. I’m his father. And we are getting married whether she likes it or not."
"I didn’t realize you ask her." Josey said lowly.
"I have about a dozen times." Hank corrected. His annoyance quickly turned to embarrassment. A shadow of emotion crossed his face.
"Well, now that the baby is here and things will settle down, I’d ask her again." Josey sighed.
"I love her Josey…almost as long as you have loved my brother." He admitted. Josey looked at Hank curiously.
"You’ve known all along I loved Leroy?"
"Any fool could have seen that." Hank laughed then winked. "Everyone but him maybe. But you can’t blame him too much, you were pretty young. And we all know your ma would have had a fit if Lerory came courtin’ you instead of Rose."
"He didn’t care about me for a long while." She replied quickly.
"Ah…yes he did, but you were still a kid. And he couldn’t ask a kid to marry him. He always liked you best. He told me a long time ago. That’s why I didn’t feel so bad about takin’ Rose. I knew his heart wasn’t with her. And mine was."
Josey looked at Hank and stood up. "All that time he really knew?"
"Yes sum, he did. But he didn’t rob cradles, Josey, just the way my brother is." Hank laughed. "And a little like your sister, if you’ll notice."
"It’s not funny." Josey cried.
"No ma’am." H
e snickered. "It ain’t. I guess you and I had our share of waitin’ for the right time."
"You want to go in and see Rose?" she suddenly asked.
"Would you mind?" Hank handed her the baby.
"No, go on." Josey cradled the baby in her arms and snuggled him to her. He was so pink and his hair was so brilliantly red, she had to smile. Hank Jr. for sure.
~*~
Hank opened the bedroom door.
Rose was sitting up in bed, her eyes much brighter. "Hmm…hello Hank." she said softly.
"Rose…it's a boy." He told her.
"Yes, I know…with red hair." she said, her voice trailing off.
"Spittin’ image of me." He beamed.
Rose nodded.
"Have you picked a name for him yet?" Hank asked, coming to sit beside the bed.
Rose wore a beautiful gown of blue and with her hair combed back she looked so delicate and beautiful.
"No…not yet. I guess…I guess…I should let you pick one…since you’re the father."
"How about, Henry Lowell Thomas Van Houghton, Jr." He announced to no one’s surprise.
Rose shrugged. "I guess."
Some of the light went out of Hank’s eyes. "What’s the matter?"
Rose threw her arms in the air. "Nothing, what could be the matter? I’m just tired…I guess. For goodness sake Hank. I just had a baby."
"You don’t seem happy about it." Hank stared at her seriously.
"I’m happy." She played at a smile. "But I just had a baby. I’m weak and I need my rest, is all. I’ll bounce back."
"Rose Anderson, will you be my wife…now?" Hank asked, sticking his hand out toward her.
Rose looked at his hand, stared out into the yard, to get a glimpse of Jacob, and sighed again, overwhelmed by her silent grief. "I guess I’ll have to won’t I?" she asked her lips pursed into a brittle smile.
Hank stared at her long and hard, his face mirrored uneasiness. "You don’t seem too happy…to be my wife."
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