Dead Outside (Book 1)

by Oliver, Nick

  She was already under the covers when I laid down. She was facing away from me, so I didn’t say anything, even though I felt like I should. All of the sudden I heard a sob. She was only crying for a few seconds before she rolled over and grabbed me. She buried her face in my chest, it didn’t take me long to feel the moisture of her tears soaking through my shirt.

  I searched my mind for what to say, but it all seemed cliché. I knew what happened to her, she knew I knew, and we both knew there was nothing I could say to make it okay. “I’m here,” I reassured her. “I’m here.”

  11:00 AM, July 6

  I awoke with a start. The other half of the bed next to me was empty, which at first made me think the previous day was nothing but a dream. I saw the light coming between the boards on the windows, then heard Sarah and Roxie talking in the kitchen. That quelled my suspicions that the previous night was a dream.

  I got out of bed, got dressed, put my hat on and made my way into the kitchen to find Sarah and Roxie eating pop tarts and having coffee.

  “Morning sunshine.” Sarah smirked. “You were still out of it when I woke up, I figured I’d let you sleep a little longer.”

  I rubbed my face and took a deep breath, “You were right, as always.” I looked around, and noticed the absence of a body. “Where’s Nick?”

  “Still sleeping,” Roxie answered, “Though he has less of an excuse then you.”

  “Well I wish you would have woken me up earlier,” I sat down next to Sarah. “We’ve got a lot of work to do today if we’re eventually going to leave here.”

  “We haven’t agreed on that yet,” Nick argued as he walked in the kitchen. “If we’re doing anything we’re fortifying this house.”

  “Why are you so adamant about staying here?” I challenged. “If enough of those things show up here, we’re fucked.”

  “If enough of those things show up anywhere we’re fucked, so why go closer to the danger?” He made a good point, but not a good enough one.

  “How much food do we have here?” I asked, knowing we barely had enough food for a few weeks, let alone long term.

  He didn’t answer my question, he just stared, “What’s your point?”

  “The School has all the shelter food dropped by the military, enough to feed hundreds for a few weeks.” I exaggerated a bit, I did see food crates there, but had no real idea how much there was. “For four people? That’s food for a lifetime.”

  That caught Nick’s attention, but I could tell he wasn’t going to be persuaded this easily. “We can get more food, there are plenty of stores, and hell people’s houses probably still have food in them.”

  “That’s not the point!” I insisted. “We need better security, stronger walls, weapons, access to supplies, communication. There’s only so much we can do here!”

  “Enough!” Roxie yelled at both of us. “We aren’t five anymore. Can we at least have a rational discussion for five minutes without arguing?”

  Nick and I just stared at each other. We both knew the other wasn’t going to give in. He wanted to stay, I wanted to go. Nick broke the staring contest and looked at Sarah, then Roxie. “And what exactly do you two think?”

  Roxie still had an angry look on her face. She looked at me, then back to Nick. “We should stay as long as we can. There’s no sense in running off while we’re safe.”

  “I think we should leave,” Sarah shrugged. “We’re too far from anything out here, we’d never know about rescue, or anything.”

  I was glad Sarah agreed with me, but I could tell her reasons were bull shit. She looked at me with a bit of a poker face, but I saw her tell. The corner of her mouth twitched briefly.

  The girls didn’t help the situation, I don’t know about Nick, but I knew Roxie wasn’t going to disagree with him, and I knew Sarah wasn’t going to disagree with me. I knew it was going to take a lot more than a rational discussion to convince Nick to leave.

  “Fine,” I reluctantly conceded. “We’ll stay here for now, but we should still pack up my truck with some stuff in case we have to bug out quick.”

  “Fine,” Nick had a bit of a smug look on his face, which was half the reason I didn’t want to give in to him in the first place. “My uncle’s got a lot of car parts lying around, and maybe you can use some of them to finally get your truck fixed while we’re at it.”

  “Maybe we will,” I sneered back mockingly. “Let’s get to work, we’ve already wasted half the day sleeping. I want to get this truck packed up and ready by tonight.”

  We spent the rest of the day cataloguing all the supplies, and gathering up what we’d need in a pinch to put in my truck. It was a tight fit, but we got as much in as we could. We decided that having a few smaller vehicles would be helpful, so we brought the four-wheeler and a dirt bike into the garage from the shed out back. The dirt bike we lifted up into the bed and strapped in, Nick volunteered to ride the four-wheeler when the time came.

  Sarah was doing her best to pack the food and water into the back seat and still have enough room for Roxie to sit back there.

  “How much you got stuffed in there so far?” I asked, checking the straps holding the bike down.

  “That’s what she said,” Sarah joked from inside the truck. It was a good sign. She hadn’t talked much all day, except to Roxie.

  I smirked, “Good one.”

  “We got two cases of water bottles, about a dozen cans of beans, and a case of ramen noodles.” She climbed out of the truck and stretched, “You know, as small as it is back there, I didn’t know I could fit as much as I did.”

  “Now that’s what she said,” I jested. We both burst into laughter. It was the first real smile I’d seen on her face since we’d gotten back. “Well, I’m glad we can still laugh, I haven’t done that in a while.”

  Her smile didn’t last long, she looked troubled. I knew what it was about, but I also knew she wouldn’t want to talk about it, at least not right away. I was just about to say something when she cut me off.

  “About last night,” she looked down for a second. “I know you probably have questions, and I know you’re also too polite to ask.”

  She looked up at me, her eyes were getting watery. “Guilty,” I admitted. “Sarah, you don’t have to do this.”

  She shook her head, “I do.” A tear started rolling down her cheek. “What Rodger did,” she paused, looking for the words she was afraid to say.

  I wiped the tear from her cheek with my thumb. “No,” I told her, and pulled her in for a hug. “It’s over, he’s gone.” I pulled her bangs away from her eyes, she looked up at me and sniffled, “He can never hurt you again.”

  “I’m so sorry.” She buried her face in my chest. “I should have gotten away, and I should have run.”

  “Sarah, it’s not your fault,” I brushed her hair away again. “It’s mine, I should have been there, and I should have been here to protect you.”

  “You saved me,” she sniffled again, wiping her face with her wrist. “And I don’t mean when you physically saved me.”

  I was about to ask her what she meant, but I knew she was only pausing because she was getting choked up. I waited for her to continue on her own.

  “When we talked on the phone, over a week ago, you told me you were coming for me. When Rodger grabbed me, and I thought Roxie and Nick were dead, it was the only thing that kept me going.” She choked up again, and I was starting to get choked up too. “The only reason I’m alive now is because I knew you were coming. You travelled a thousand miles to save me.”

  “It was the least I could do,” I felt a tear roll down my cheek. “Listen, none of that matters now, we’re safe, we’re together, we’re gonna be alright.”

  Her face lit up a bit, “You think so?”

  “Well I hope so.” It probably wasn’t the best time for a joke, but I knew it would lighten the mood up a bit.

  Sarah punched me in the arm playfully, “Come on, do you really think so?”

  ”Of course
I do,” I reassured her with a smile. “It’s us against the world, and the world doesn’t stand a chance.”

  Her eyes were still puffy, and she still had a tear rolling down her face, but she had a genuine smile on her face. “How do you do that?” she asked.

  “How do I do what?” I asked back, not quite sure what she meant.

  “How do you always manage to get my mind out of the dark and make me smile?” Her eyes were just inches from mine, close enough for me to see my reflection in them.

  I thought for a second and answered, “Probably the chiseled jaw and smashing good looks.”

  “No, that can’t be it,” she said sarcastically, then looked up. “It has to be something else.”

  I just smiled back, “I know you,” the answer was simple enough. “I’ve known you for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been closer to anyone, and probably never will.”

  She was giving me a look. I’d seen the look before, one I’d always wanted her to give me but she never gave. She wanted me to kiss her, and I was more then happy to do so.

  “Did you guys pack any toilet paper yet?” Nick asked, leaning through the door from the house to the garage, completely oblivious to what was going on.

  “Nope, sure didn’t,” I answered in a get the fuck out of here tone, but it was too late. Sarah took a step away and wiped her face. She looked at me for a second then started toward the door. “I’ll go ask Roxie if she did.”

  She walked passed a still oblivious Nick, who looked at me with a face full of bewilderment, “What was going on here?”

  “Nothing, thanks to you.” I felt like punching him, but decided to hold off. We’d probably end up fighting again later anyways. “Maybe next time you could glance into a room before barging in like you own the place.”

  “Well technically since my uncle did own this place, and he’s probably dead now, that does technically make it mine,” he responded with more then a hint of sarcasm.

  “Do you want me to hit you?” I asked seriously, though he probably thought I was responding to his sarcasm with more sarcasm. “Because I will hit you.”

  He raised his hands in a mock surrender, “Not necessary, my bad.” He walked off with his hands still held into the air.

  I rolled my eyes, “Look at me, I’m Nick, I like to ruin special moments.” I did my best impression of Nick’s voice, despite how cheesy it sounded and then threw a wrench across the garage.

  The truck was packed full by six o’clock. The way I figured it we had about three or four days worth of food and water in it, though Nick was adamant it would last a month. It was dark outside, so we decided to call it a night and relax in the living room. We had a few candles on the coffee table, which barely illuminated the room. Roxie and Nick were on the loveseat, and Sarah and I were sitting on the couch.

  “So what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Roxie asked. “Do we just sit here, or do we have something productive to do?”

  “The truck’s packed up. we have room in the bed to throw our remaining supplies in if we have time.” My arm was around Sarah’s shoulders. I rubbed my thumb back and forth a bit, “We have to make a run tomorrow.”

  Nick and Roxie looked at me quizzically. I’m sure Sarah was giving me a similar look. Roxie spoke first, “What do we need?”

  I let out a sigh, I wanted to take Sarah to her dad’s house, and I didn’t know if she knew he was dead, but I knew she needed to see him buried, she needed to have that funeral. I didn’t want to have that conversation now, so I lied. “I think we need to get a head start on gathering supplies. It would be better to do it now then later.”

  Nick was hesitant, but I could tell he agreed with me. “Where did you have in mind?”

  “We should check some of the houses closer to town, leaving the ones closer to us for later, and maybe a gas station or two if it’s safe enough,” I suggested, knowing Sarah’s house was on the way. I’d talk to Sarah tonight, then Roxie and Nick in the morning about the truth of the drive.

  “Well, if we have such a big day tomorrow we should go to bed now,” Roxie stood up, “See you two in the morning.”

  Sarah and I said goodnight, Nick got up and followed her upstairs. I pulled the couch cushions off, and pulled the bed out. I got undressed, and hung up my hat.

  We both laid down on the bed. It didn’t take long for Sarah to roll over on her side and ask me, “Why are we really going out tomorrow?”

  I rolled onto my side as well. I sighed and looked at her, “We need to go to your house.”

  She went right to the point, “Is this about my dad?”

  I nodded, “I went to your house when I was looking for you.” I paused because I wasn’t sure what to say next, but she spoke before I could continue.

  “My dad called me the day before I talked to you in the car.” She wiped her eyes, “He told me to be careful, to trust you, that you would keep me safe, that he loved me, and not to come back home.”

  I didn’t know she’d talked to him. He must have called her after he got bitten, but before he killed himself. “I didn’t know you knew.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek, then closed my eyes and tried to find the words to respond, but felt her finger wipe it off my cheek.

  I opened my eyes. Sarah was giving me the same look she was before in the garage. “Thank you,” she said, then grabbed my head and pulled it to hers, kissing me passionately. I’d always imagined our first real kiss to be shared romantically at some fancy restaurant, or a picnic. Maybe even a distant vacation. But I never dreamed it would be in Nick’s Uncle George’s house, with both of us in tears.

  Chapter Fourteen: Memories

  8:00 AM, July 7

  My eyes opened to light shining into them. I sat up squinting at the light shining through the boards on the window. After shielding my eyes I noticed Sarah was still asleep next to me.

  Even though Sarah was hogging the covers I was still covered in sweat. The Florida heat was unbearable already. Now that there was no air conditioning it was like a nightmare.

  I stood up as quietly as I could, she deserved to sleep a little longer, and I needed to talk to Nick and Roxie before we left anyhow.

  After getting dressed and putting my hat on, Sarah rolled over to where I was and hugged my pillow thinking it was me. I couldn’t help but smirk, last night might not have gone how I thought or hoped it would, but it was the best night I’d had in years.

  I tried to go up the stairs quietly, but every step made some kind of noise. Luckily Sarah was practically in a coma. I was about to knock on the door to Nick and Roxie’s room, then just opened it. Sure there was the chance I’d see one or both of them naked, but it wouldn’t be the first time or the last, they had a habit of leaving doors open.

  They were both clothed thank god, though Nick was sleeping on the floor, which I was going to have to bring up later.

  “Roxie,” I whispered, not wanting to wake Nick up. I’d need to talk to him after my sister.

  She didn’t budge so I threw a pillow at her. She jerked a bit and looked at me with angry eyes, “What are you doing?”

  “It’s time to get up. We gotta talk,” I whispered again, trying to let Nick sleep.

  Roxie was giving me an evil eye, like she had been up all night, and combined with Nick on the floor, they must have been arguing again. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, “Fine, I’ll get breakfast started. Can you wake Nick up?”

  “I need to talk to you before he gets up,” I admitted. Nick had been a bit irrational lately. I just needed to talk to Roxie for bit before he got up.

  She rolled her eyes and walked passed me. “Come on, lets talk about Sarah.”

  Although I wanted and probably needed to talk about Sarah, there were more important issues at hand. I followed her down to the stairs to the kitchen.

  Roxie was still in the process of waking up, but I figured she was still awake enough to process what I needed to say. “We’re going to Sarah’s house today.”

  “I thou
ght we were going to talk about what happened last night,” she sighed, probably not quite grasping what I meant.

  “What do you mean what happened last night?” I asked, and then shook my head. “Never mind.” Roxie was still half asleep and wasn’t really listening to me. “Roxie!” I yelled, “Focus!”

  Her eyes widened for a second, like she was snapping out of a trance. “What? Why are we going to Sarah’s house?”

  “Jerry’s dead,” I felt myself choking up saying it. “I went to her house when I was looking for her.”

  Roxie’s eyes got wide, “What?” She sat down and her eyes glistened with inevitable tears, “How?”

  I let out a sigh and gave Roxie all the gory details of what I saw at Sarah’s house. She looked down and took a deep breath, “We feared the worst when things really started getting bad. Sarah got a call from him but she wouldn’t say what happened.”

  “We have to go and bury him.” I filled up a cup with water and took a drink, “Sarah deserves to have a funeral for her father.”

  Roxie sipped her coffee and nodded solemnly, “She does deserve that, and we do too.”

  It was in that moment that I realized I hadn’t told Roxie about our parents yet. I had hinted at it the other night when she was looking at that family photo of us at Disney, but didn’t really tell her. I took a big gulp of water, wishing it was something a bit stronger to help me work up the courage to tell Roxie what happened.

  “Okay, you took a courage gulp,” Roxie raised an eyebrow. “Come on, what’s eating you up?”

  “It’s about Mom and Dad,” I looked her in the eyes and shook my head. “They didn’t make it.” I was getting choked up so I paused to let it pass. “The Army bombed East Cleveland, including Grandma’s neighborhood.”

  “I know.” She took another sip of her coffee, “I mean, we heard about the bombings in the news, but they weren’t specific. But the last time I talked to Mom, she didn’t say ‘I’ll see you later,’ that’s when I knew. Whether they’re alive or not, we’re never going to see them again, we have to move on.”