Her breathing evened out almost immediately, but the weight of my lies pressed me down into the mattress until I couldn’t breathe anymore. How was I supposed to sleep when I could think of nothing but what I’d done?
And what I had to do. I had to tell her.
“You awake?” I whispered.
She mumbled something and scooted closer to me, letting off a soft snore. I wanted to wake her up and spill my guts, but I forced myself to lie still.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I would tell her the truth.
This afternoon class was never going to end. I sat back in my seat and eyed the clock. Only three more minutes until my class was over, and then I could see Finn. He’d promised to meet me at the dorm afterward, and I couldn’t wait to see him again. Couldn’t wait to kiss him and hold him and hug him. And, well, more.
I fanned my cheeks with my notebook as I recalled exactly what we’d done last night, and how amazing it had made me feel. How amazing I’d made him feel. I wanted more. Lots more. I’d known sex brought pleasure. Known I would enjoy it. But with Finn, it far surpassed pleasurable. As a matter of fact, what he did to me just might tip the Richter scale.
Cory elbowed me and tipped his head toward the professor. The professor, meanwhile, was looking at me. No. Scratch that. The whole class was watching me. I sat up straight in my seat and smoothed my hair. Why were they all staring at me?
Professor Hanabee turned red and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Would you be answering my question anytime soon, Carrie?”
“Uh,” I said, looking to Cory for some help. He didn’t even look at me. Just stared at the front of the classroom. “What was the question again?”
The professor rolled his eyes. “Cory?”
Cory gave the answer easily.
I looked down at my notebook. All I’d done was draw squiggles and a few random words like bilateral and hemorrhage. I thought I saw Finn’s name in there too, but I could be wrong.
Professor Hanabee gave me one last, piercing look, then turned back to the class. “There will be a quiz tomorrow. You may go now.”
While everyone else got up, I kept my head lowered. My cheeks were on fire, but I knew that I had no one to blame but myself. I’d always been at the head of my class. Straight A’s. Eye on the end game. What the heck did I think I was doing, neglecting my academic obligations to daydream about a guy? I slammed my book shut and stood. After collecting the rest of my stuff, I started down the steps.
“A moment, please?” Professor Hanabee called out.
“Yes?” I climbed the rest of the way down and stood in front of his desk.
He wore one of those god-awful professor jackets with the patches on the elbow, and his glasses kept sliding down his nose. He jammed them back up with a short, stubby finger. “Did I mention I’m friends with your father? He calls for updates every so often. I’d hate to give him a bad answer.”
I swallowed hard to stop the scathing reply trying to escape. Of course Dad would have friends on staff. He had spies everywhere. “Yes, sir.”
I headed for the door, mentally figuring out how much time I would need to cram a day’s worth of missed lesson into my head. Would there still be time for my fun evening with Finn? Could I do both? Cory waited at the door for me, his sandy blond hair perfectly in place like usual. The complete opposite of Finn’s messy curls. He leaned against the wall, phone in his hand.
When I came to his side, he lifted his head. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I scanned the crowd for Finn. “Sorry about today.”
He followed my gaze. “Looking for someone?”
“Yeah,” I answered distractedly. “Finn.”
“Marie said you didn’t come back to the room last night.” Cory shoved his phone in his pocket and gave me a look. A look that said he had his suspicions where I had been, and what I’d been doing. “Where were you?”
I stiffened. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“I thought that we had something going between us, so, yeah, it kind of is.”
Cory yanked on the collar of his polo. His pink-and-yellow striped polo, buttoned all the way up to his neck. Did he ever let loose? Wear a T-shirt that didn’t come from a brand name store, or stop thinking so much about what everyone would think about him if he did?
“We’re just friends. I like you a lot, and you’re a great guy. Excellent, really. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” I sighed. God, I sucked at this stuff. “But I’m kind of with someone else right now.”
He stiffened. “The surfer?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed back my arguments that Finn was more than a surfer. More than what Cory decided to label him as. He was smart, funny, handsome, brave…
Cory chuckled and his shoulders relaxed. “Good.”
I blinked at him. “Good?”
“Yeah.” He stared at his impeccable nails. “It won’t last, and when it falls apart, you’ll come back to me.”
“That’s a really shitty thing to say,” I snapped, heading toward the doors. “He’s a great guy.”
Cory’s mouth pressed tight. “He can be great all he wants, but it still won’t work. You aren’t the same type of people.”
“You’re wrong.” I stopped walking. “You don’t know him like I do.”
“No, I’m not wrong,” he said, his face red. I opened my mouth to slam his opinions to the dirt, but he didn’t give me a chance. “You’ve got plans in your life that don’t include a surfer boy who has no immediate goals in his life besides when he should catch his next wave.”
“He has a great job. He’s a Marine.” I took a breath. “How dare you pretend that’s not a career.”
Cory rubbed his temples. “He’s got nothing to offer you, really. Can’t help you study. Has no knowledge of what you’ll be doing with your life. Won’t get along with your father. He’s a rebellious stage in your life. Nothing more.”
“I don’t need him to help me study. I’m fine on my own.”
“Sure you are,” Cory agreed, nodding. “But that’s not the biggest problem. The biggest problem is that you two have nothing in common. The things you like about him now? The stuff you think you admire most because he’s so different?” Cory leaned in, latching gazes with me. “That’s the stuff that will make you hate him later.”
Could he be right? Would I eventually hate Finn’s laid-back lifestyle? His quest for fun? The way he laughed as he surfed, his eyes lit up and his laugh blending with the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore? “You’re wrong.”
“No, I’m not. I learned it in psychology.” He nodded his head toward the dorms. “Speaking of the devil…”
Finn came up to my side and cleared his throat. He wore a light yellow shirt with a surfboard on it and plaid shorts. His shades were firmly in place, and his short curls were a little messy. Not messy enough, though, due to his haircut. “I was starting to think you forgot about me.”
“No. No, of course not. I’m just a little bit late because I got in trouble.”
“You?” Finn raised a brow. “How could you have gotten in trouble?”
“We’ll talk about it later.” I knew I should get ready for the quiz tomorrow, but I didn’t want to give up time with Finn. I could make time for both. “Come on.”
Finn took my hand and nodded at Cory. “Later, Cody.”
“My name’s Cory,” Cory said, his voice hard. “But you already know that, don’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Finn said, his tone completely innocent.
Even I believed him…almost.
Cory grabbed my arm as we passed, and Finn stiffened next to me at the touch. “Are you going to study?” Cory asked.
“Yeah. Later.”
Cory flexed his jaw and let go of me. “Fine. See you later.”
“What was that all about?” Finn steered me toward his bike.
“Nothing. We have a quiz coming up. I’ll study later tonight.”
He s
topped walking and looked over his shoulder at Cory. “Are you sure? Your grades come first. Maybe you should go with Golden Boy.”
Golden Boy. Why did that name ring a bell? I shook my head, shaking away the niggling sensation that I’d heard those words before. “No, I’ll be fine. You promised me cheeseburgers and milkshakes, and I intend to collect.”
He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me close. “First, you need to pay up.”
He lowered his mouth to mine, giving me a passionate kiss that quite literally knocked the breath out of me. I curled my hands into his shirt, trying to urge him closer, and he moaned before breaking off the kiss. Before I could so much as blink, he slid the helmet over my head and reached for his.
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”
I bit down on my lower lip. “Oh? What is it?”
He sat down on the bike and looked straight ahead before slamming on his own helmet. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”
I pulled the bike up to the curb and closed my eyes, relishing the way her arms felt around me. Loving the fact that I could show how much I liked it when she clung to me, now that we were together. Now that she knew how I felt about her. I tore my helmet off, and then picked her up, setting her on my lap.
She shrieked at the sudden movement and flung her arms around my neck. Her sweet ass pressed down on me, making my cock hard, but I wasn’t looking for that right now. I just needed to hold her because I fucking could. “Hey, babe.”
I gently removed her helmet and set it aside. The way she looked at me…
I loved it.
I could get used to seeing that same light shining in her eyes for the rest of my goddamned life. And that’s what I wanted. Not a short period of her life. I wanted forever. Even though I knew, subjectively, that we were doomed from the start. I’d started this relationship with lies, and it would end the second the full truth came out.
And even if I hadn’t lied to her, she was too young to even contemplate forever. A baby, practically. When I’d been nineteen, the furthest thing from my mind had been love or settling down with someone. To her, this was nothing more than the obligatory college fling.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked breathlessly.
I snapped myself out of whatever unicorn land I’d been stuck in. “Like what?”
“Like I bit you or something.”
I snorted. “You can bite me anytime you want, babe.”
She slapped my arm, but I barely even felt it. She was like a mosquito bite on my arm. “Keep it up, and I just might. And I bite really hard.”
“I hope that’s a promise.”
She rolled her eyes. “So is this the surprise? I already knew you had an apartment.”
I chuckled and nuzzled her neck. “That’s not the surprise.”
“Then what is?”
She arched her neck to allow me better access. Nice. I nibbled some more. “You’ll have to go in and find out.”
She hopped off my lap and practically ran up to the door. Note to self: she likes surprises. I followed her more slowly, grinning at her exuberance. When she turned to me impatiently, her hand out, I set the key in her hand. She burst inside the door—and then stopped.
She scanned the room, looking for any signs of something different. Turning to me, she cocked a brow. “Uh, where’s the surprise?”
“Right here.”
She eyed me, her eyes dancing. “Is it you?”
“I wrapped something with a bow.”
Her gaze dropped to my cock, and her voice came out breathy. “Seriously?”
I burst into laughter. “Nope.”
“Darn, that would’ve been fun.”
I made a mental note to remember the idea. “It’s better than that.” I reached into her bag and retrieved the item I needed. I brandished her anatomy book with more flair than I knew I had in me. All for the greater good, of course. “We’re spending the night…studying!”
“Studying. Really,” she said dryly. “I can hardly contain my excitement.”
“I see that,” I said, laughing. “But that’s not all.”
She perked up. “Oh? What else?”
“Every time you get an answer right, I get to kiss you anywhere I want.” I let my gaze dip down low. “And I’ve got a few ideas where I’d like to start.”
Her cheeks flushed and she licked her lips. “And if I get it wrong?”
“Then you don’t get kisses and you go home with Cory to study.”
“I thought you hated him.”
I gently shoved her down on the couch and laid my body on top of hers. “I do.” I nibbled on her ear, biting a little bit harder than necessary. “So you better get the answers right.”
She dug her nails into my shoulders. “Fine, but I need time to study.”
“Time granted.” I gave her a long, searching kiss, my tongue circling hers. When she kissed me back without hesitation, her body melding into mine more completely than her mouth, I almost forgot her need to study. Almost forgot part of my job was to make sure she didn’t get distracted from her duties.
I was distracting her, and I had to stop.
With a groan, I pulled back and ended the kiss. “No more of that until our studying session starts.” Hopping to my feet, I handed her the textbook and headed for the kitchen. “I’ll be out on the patio, cooking you dinner.”
She blinked up at me. “You cook?”
“Hell yeah, I cook. Better than that, I grill. I have one on the back porch.” I gave her a cocky grin. “I’m more than a pretty face, Ginger.”
“I already knew that,” she said gently, meeting my eyes. “In fact, I knew it as soon as you opened your mouth and told me about yourself.”
I froze. I had been mostly joking, but I’d dealt with the assumptions I was nothing more than a pretty boy with no goals all my life. Hell, right now I was playing the part of that exact type of person. She saw the real me? Knew I had goals and aspirations?
I cleared my throat and forced myself to stop standing there like an idiot. “Uh, good. Now off I go. Study hard, woman. I don’t want you hanging out with Cory.”
She laughed and cracked open the book while I set about getting ready to grill some burgers outside. But first, I pulled the vanilla ice cream out of the freezer and grabbed some milk. I scooped half the container into the blender, added milk, then threw in some Oreos for good measure. I had promised her a milkshake before realizing she had to study, and she’d damn well get it.
I switched the blender on, and she looked up at me. When she saw what I was making, her eyes went wide. After I switched off the blender, she said, “You make milkshakes too?”
“Yep.” I pulled two red cups out of the cabinet. “And they’re the best you’ll ever have.”
“Really?”
I emptied the contents of the blender into the glasses and stuck two straws into the cups. “See for yourself.”
I crossed the room and gave her the glass with more in it. She took it from my hand, her fingers brushing mine as she did so. She wrapped her perfect lips around the straw and closed her eyes. And I was jealous of a fucking straw. “Holy crap, you’re right.”
“I know I am.” I grinned. “Now get back to studying, or I’m taking it back.”
She hugged it to her chest. “Never.”
Her phone rang and she dug it out. “Hello?” Silence. “Yeah, of course I can help you. How about tomorrow after class?” More silence. “Sure. I’ll see you then, Keith.”
Keith. Who the hell was Keith?
She hung up and smiled at me. I arched a brow. “Should I be worried about this Keith guy?”
“Nope.” She pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Remember the guy Cory was mean to?”
Nerd boy. “Yeah.”
“He asked me to help him plan the booth the school is running at the Relay for a Cure taking place next week.” She set down her phone. “I told him to contact me if he needed help. His parents died of cancer…a
nd so did your mom. So I wanted to help.”
I swallowed hard, moved by her compassion. “That’s nice of you.”
“It’s nothing at all,” she murmured distractedly, taking a sip of her milkshake. “I wish I could do more.”
Her attention was on her book, so I left her alone. She was always so busy wishing she could do more that she didn’t see she was doing enough. Her heart was big enough to encompass everyone around her, including me. I headed back into the kitchen, sipping my own milkshake. As I sliced the tomatoes and onions, I kept stealing glances at her. She sat on my couch, completely silent with her head bowed over the book, and I couldn’t get my mind off how much I liked this little bit of domesticity. I could get used to cooking while she studied.
And I could definitely get used to helping her study.
Hopefully when I told her the truth later tonight…it wouldn’t be a thing of the past. I just wanted to let her study before the fighting began. Or so I kept telling myself.
Though studying hadn’t been in my plans for the night, I hadn’t missed the way she’d hesitated when Cory asked her if she wanted to study. I knew she was torn between doing what she wanted to do, and what she should do. Hell, I knew that particular dilemma all too well. So I made the decision for her. She could have both. She didn’t need Cory to study.
She had me.
I might not be going to college to become a doctor, but I could certainly hold up a flashcard and help her cram words into her head. When I finished cooking dinner, I headed back inside. She was still on the couch, but she’d sprawled out across it and was balancing the book on her chest. I set the platter of burgers down on the kitchen counter, cracked open a beer, and took a long draw, my eyes on her the whole time. She’d finished her milkshake. Maybe I’d make her another one later. Anything to make her happy.
Her mouth moved silently as she read, but otherwise she was still. Yep. I definitely could get used to this. “Dinner’s ready.”
She jumped slightly and looked at me. “What?”
“Dinner.” I motioned to the plate behind me. “It’s ready.”
“Oh.” She set the book down and rubbed her temples. “I didn’t realize I’d been reading that long.”
The OUT OF LINE Series Page 13