“Yep, you were.”
I stood in front of her and tugged her to her feet. She wrapped her arms around me once she was standing, then kissed the spot directly over my heart. I hugged her close, my heart speeding up at the soft kiss. I wished…
Wished these things would never change. Wished she wouldn’t have to hate me. Wished I didn’t have to tell her the truth tonight. The cowardly part of me wanted to hold back. Wait. But I knew it was the right thing to do, even if I didn’t want to.
She rose up on tiptoes and kissed me. “Ready?”
Hell no. “Yeah, come on.”
I grabbed her hand and led her into the kitchen. As we built our burgers, mine with mustard and ketchup, hers just ketchup, I kept stealing glances at her. She was tapping her foot as she created her meal, her lips moving silently. I had no idea if she was singing or citing medical terms, but either way…fucking adorable.
I grinned. “You singing a song over there?”
“Hm?” Her foot stopped mid-tap. “Maybe.”
I scooped her up in my arms. “Don’t stop. I love it.”
Her cheeks tinged pink. “Really?”
“Really.”
She pushed out of my arms and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Well, then, you better get used to it. I’m kind of a dork.”
“I find you adorkable.”
She snorted. “That was a pretty adorkable thing to say.”
“We have to stick together.”
She flopped down on the couch. “I have to eat this, then give me ten more minutes to study.” She picked her burger up. “Then we play.”
“Deal.”
We ate in companionable silence. Once she was finished, I cleared our plates and busied myself with the dishes while she studied. I leaned against the counter and dried my hands. “How’s it going over there?”
She glanced up at me. “I feel like I ate a house, but I think I’m ready.”
I crossed the room and took the book out of her hands. I glanced down at the page and scrunched my eyebrows together. “Exciting stuff, huh?”
“It’s anatomy.” She stretched her arms over her head, baring a tiny strip of stomach. That was all I needed to want her. Hell, I didn’t even need that. “None of it is exciting.”
“I beg to differ,” I said. I dropped to my knees in front of the couch and pushed her shirt back up. She sucked in a deep breath and held it, her bright blue eyes on me. “I find anatomy, yours in particular, quite exciting.”
She arched a ginger brow at me. “Oh really?”
“Mmhm.” I ran my fingers over the bare strip of skin and kissed it. “Really.”
She threaded her hands through my hair, holding me there. I closed my eyes and practically purred like a cat. This. Right here. I could live like this quite happily for the rest of my life. I nibbled on the patch of skin right under her belly button, tightening my grip on her hips when she started squirming.
“Don’t stop doing that,” she whispered, her eyes drifting shut. “Like, ever.”
I didn’t want to. “Are you sore?”
“No.” Her cheeks turned red, and she opened her eyes to peek at me. “My lower extremities are fine.”
“Look at you, showing off your medical vocabulary.” I kissed her stomach, this time a little bit lower and grabbed her waistband. “Say something else the book taught you, and I’ll kiss you again.”
She spouted off some medical jargon I couldn’t really understand, but it sounded legit. As long as I got to kiss her some more, I’d be happy. I undid her pants and pulled them off her legs. She had a dark purple satin thong on that just might be my favorite color in the whole world right now. I ran my fingers over the soft satin, dipping down to brush across her clit.
Her left leg fell to the floor, granting me better access. I took full advantage of this, slipping in between her legs and nibbling on her upper thigh. “Say something else or I’ll stop.”
“The way you make me feel…” she moaned. “Will soon cause a series of muscle contractions in the genital region…that will be accompanied by a sudden release of endorphins.”
I blinked up at her, amusement threatening to overtake my desire. “Did you give me the medical definition of an orgasm?”
“Yes,” she said through her teeth. “Now kiss me again.”
I laughed and flicked my tongue over her clit, through her panties. “More.”
“Argh.” She yanked on my hair with just enough force to make my scalp sting. I liked that too. “When the endorphins rush to my head, I’ll experience a sudden sensation of…”
I tugged down her panties, listening to her medical talk, but not really paying attention. At this point, I was a little bit too distracted by the fact that I wanted to make those endorphins she’d mentioned rush to her head. Repeatedly. When her thong fell to the floor along with her pants, I nibbled my way up her thigh. The closer I got to her clit, the faster she babbled. And the faster I forgot all about studying, and could only focus on her.
She whimpered and tried to urge me closer. I let her take control of me. Let her put me where she wanted me…but only because I wanted to be there. When I flicked my tongue against her clit, her legs jerked and she moaned. I liked the sounds coming out of her mouth. I needed more.
I rolled my tongue in a lazy circle, keeping my touch light. She dug her nails into my scalp and lifted her hips, begging for more. Her soft scent teased me. She smelled like lilies and something else. Something fruity and intoxicating and her. I gripped her hip with a trembling hand, holding her in place, and slipped my other hand in between her thighs. She said she wasn’t sore, but I wasn’t about to thrust inside of her without making certain of that fact.
I swirled my tongue a little harder this time, then gently slid a finger inside her. She was tight. Too tight. My cock ached to be buried inside her slick folds, but I ignored it. Her muscles clenched down on my finger, hard, and I increased the pressure of my mouth a fraction more.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop,” she panted, over and over again, her nails digging into any piece of skin or scalp she could reach. She’d apparently given up on medical lingo. “Finn.”
As soon as she said my name, I pulled out and put another finger in, my tight hold on control slipping fast. I needed her too badly. Power like this wasn’t good. Wasn’t right. Yet, she held it over me without even trying. And worse yet? I didn’t think I stood a chance at breaking free because I didn’t even want to.
Her muscles clamped down on me, and she froze, her entire body rigid and held taught. Then she breathed my name again and collapsed to the couch, her breathing erratic. I stood up and crossed the room, going to the nightstand to grab protection. As I approached her, I undid my shorts. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was messy. She looked fucking hot right now, right after I made her come.
She sat up and licked her lips. “Can I…can I do that to you?”
“Fuck yeah, you can.” I kicked my shorts off and let them fall to the floor. All of the contents of my pockets spilled on the floor, but I didn’t give a damn. All that mattered was her, and making her happy.
She reached out and trailed her fingers over my abs, her touch feather light. I closed my fists, nearly crushing the condom in the process. This might be the most torturous thing I’d ever put myself through, but it just might be the most pleasurable too. She pulled me closer, and I stumbled forward, letting her put me where she wanted me.
When I stood between her bare knees, she looked up at me through her lashes, almost as if she tested my reaction before she even started. I slit my eyes, making it look as if I wasn’t watching her, but I’d be dead before I missed the sight of her mouth on my cock. She leaned in and flicked her tongue against the tip of me, and every muscle in my body jerked in response.
“Hm,” she said, shifting her weight on the edge of the couch. She cupped my balls gently, running her fingertips over the sensitive skin. I hissed and tightened my jaw. She was going to kill me with her almo
st-there caresses. “Do you like that?” she asked, her tone throaty and whispery and oozing of sex.
“Yes,” I managed to say through my swollen throat. “Do it again.”
She grinned and rolled her tongue over the head of my cock, this time doing a complete circle. I’d tried to keep my hands to myself, but she broke my restraint. I dropped the condom on the floor and buried my hand in her red curls. I urged her closer, gently, in case she changed her mind.
She didn’t.
Without warning, her mouth closed around me and she sucked me in, keeping the suction constant and the pressure just right. I looked down at her, watching her fuck me with her sweet red mouth, and couldn’t look away. Each time she drew back, she took more of me in. And she didn’t stop playing with my balls, increasing the pleasure by tenfold. My fingers flexed on her head, and I forced myself to stand still. To not thrust into her warm mouth…but it was the hardest thing in the world to do.
To just stand there, while I wanted to bend her over and fuck her senseless.
When she sucked me in more, making me grow horribly close to an orgasm, I placed my hands on her shoulders and pulled out of her mouth. My entire body tensed when she increased the suction, trying to keep me in, but I refused to come in her mouth. I needed to take her gently and sweetly. I needed to make love to her the way I would have if I’d known it was her first time last night.
“No more,” I rasped.
“But—”
“No. If you keep doing that, I’ll come.” I ran my finger over her hard nipple, squeezing gently. “But when I come, I’ll be buried deep inside of you. I won’t accept anything else.”
I ripped open the condom and slipped it on before bending down and carrying her to the bed. After laying her down gently, I lowered my body over hers and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and tentatively slid her tongue between my lips. It was the first time she kissed me like that, taken the initiative during sex, and the devastating effect it had on me was not missed.
My arms tightened around her, and I wished I could hold her close forever. Keep her safe forever. Make sure no one ever hurt her again. But I’d be the one hurting her. I’d be the one ruining the very thing I so cherished…her trust.
She curled her legs around my waist and lifted her hips. “Now,” she demanded.
After taking a calming breath, I slowly inched inside of her, making sure to be gentle. To go slow. My body shook with the effort it took to hold back, but it was worth it. She deserved this and more. When I pulled out and moved inside of her even slower, she broke free of our kiss and looked up at me.
“What’s wrong?”
I gritted my teeth when she dug her heels into my ass. “Nothing, babe.”
“Then move.” She arched her hips up while slamming her heels into my ass, and I surged inside of her another few inches.
Still, I held myself back, even though the sweat pouring down my forehead was stinging my eyes. “I…don’t want to…hurt you.”
“You won’t.” She cupped my cheeks and smiled up at me, her eyes shining with tears and something else. “I trust you.”
I swallowed hard, the guilt threatening to overwhelm me. To choke me. I needed to tell her the truth. Now. “I have to tell you something. I’m—”
She curled her hands behind my neck and jerked me down, kissing me passionately. When she arched her hips up, taking me completely inside of her, I groaned and pressed even farther in. She increased the pressure of her lips, her teeth digging into my lower lip, and moved again.
“Carrie, I—”
“Tell me later,” she demanded against my mouth. “I need you. Harder.”
And that? That was my undoing.
I pulled out of her and thrust inside, sure and fast. She moaned and scratched her nails down my back, so I repeated the gesture. As I moved inside of her, something inside of me gave way, and I knew I would never go back to the way I’d been before her.
Her legs clamped around me even tighter, and her breathy cries grew quicker. She was close. So close. I reached down between us, never breaking the kiss, and pressed my thumb against her clit. She moaned into my mouth and pumped her hips up once, twice, then came—her body tensing all around me. I slid out of her and drove back inside, my own orgasm taking control of my body within seconds of her release.
I collapsed on top of her and buried my face in her neck. Taking a deep breath, I tried to remember the last time I’d felt this way after sex, but I came up empty. I had never felt so damned happy and satisfied after sex until…until Carrie.
I couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not ever.
Now that was what I called a study session. I closed my eyes and took a nice, long breath. No matter how many times I read the why and how of sex, nothing compared to the reality of it. The reality of Finn touching my bare skin, moving inside of me and taking me higher and higher…
Yeah. Nothing.
I shivered and within seconds he had a blanket over me. He was always so considerate and compassionate. I shivered, he got a blanket. I yawned, he got me to go to sleep. I needed to study, he kidnapped me and forced me to do so. He was supportive, hot, and honest.
Cory didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.
Finn was everything I wanted in a partner and more. I wouldn’t grow to hate him for his “faults.” Heck, I had yet to see any faults at all. Surely he had some, everyone did, but he hid them well. He stood up and headed for the trash can as I watched. The back view was almost as enticing as the front.
Almost.
He turned on his heel and scratched the back of his head. He always did that when he was nervous. I knew that about him. Why would he be nervous?
“You want another milkshake now?” he asked, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. “We can sip on them while we finish studying.”
“I already got my reward.” I sat up, bringing the blanket with me. “What possible reason do I have to study now?”
He raised a cocky brow, and just like that, the Finn I knew was back. “Your grades? Your father? Your whole life?”
“Eh.” I shrugged. “I like your methods of persuasion far better than those.”
He grinned and crossed the room, then bent down to give me a lingering kiss before pulling away. His hand remained on my neck, his touch gentle. “Then far be it for me to leave you hanging. I’ll go clean up, but we need to talk. Deal?”
“Talk? That sounds serious.”
“Nah. It’s just something I have to tell you.” He gave me a lingering kiss, but seemed as if he didn’t want to let go. As if something was wrong. “I’ll be right back.”
He gave me one last look before he headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I let out a little sigh and slid out of the bed. As much as I’d like to remain here all night, he was right. I had studying to do, and I wasn’t about to do that naked. I got dressed in my clothing, but couldn’t find my shirt anywhere. When I spotted his red shirt lying on the floor, I grinned and slipped it over my head.
It smelled like him. Delicious.
As I hugged the shirt close to me, I caught sight of his phone lying on the floor under the table. I reached down and pulled it out, intending to set it down on the table so he wouldn’t be looking for it later, but right when I picked it up, the screen lit up. I tried not to look. I really, really did. It’s not like I wanted to be that girl who snooped through my boyfriend’s phone for hints of other women in his life. And yet…
My gaze flitted to the closed bathroom door before it returned to the phone in my hand, and what I saw there made my heart stop and my stomach twist in tight, painful knots. As if the floor dropped out from underneath me, letting me crash to my death five hundred feet below. At first it was the all capital letters in the text message that drew my attention. Dad texted in all caps, as did most older people. But then I looked at the number, and my entire body went all weak and shaky with disbelief. Confirmation came swift and hard, like a kick in the stomach.
I’d know that phone number anywhere.
I read the text again.
Have you seen her today? Is she studying with Cory?
For a second, I hoped I picked up the wrong phone. That I held my own phone in my hand, and not his. That would be so much better than the alternative. So much better than knowing that the first person I trusted enough to let get close to me, the first man I could possibly see myself falling in love with, was nothing more than a spy sent by Dad.
Oh my God. I was such a fool. I’d fallen for it all, without even questioning why a guy like Finn would want me. Without a second thought or a backward glance. Now I was staring the truth in the face. Dad was texting Finn, and Finn was hanging out with me because he had to, not because he wanted to. He’d been sent here to babysit me, and I’d been dumb enough to believe he might actually be interested in me.
That he actually cared.
I blinked back tears when the bathroom door opened, and Finn came out wearing a pair of boxers. “About that talk, how about if we—?”
He scanned the room until he found me, and then he broke off midsentence. He looked first at the phone in my hand, then at my face. He paled and stopped walking midstride. He opened his mouth, closed it, then tried for a casual tone of voice. “You okay, babe?”
Okay? No, I was not okay. I was horrible. Terrible. Ready to cry and scream and kill Dad for doing this to me. For sending Finn to watch me. For sending a man I could so easily fall in love with, then ripping him away from me without a second thought.
And I was even madder at myself for falling for it.
“Was it all a lie?” I asked, my voice miraculously even, even if it came out soft. I slowly lifted my head. “Tell me the truth for once. Was it all a lie?”
He flinched and seemed to break out of a trance. He crossed the room and held his hands out in front of him. “No. Please, let me explain.”
“No.”
I stumbled to my feet and backed away from him. I couldn’t bear his touch after all of this. After he…oh, God. No. I couldn’t even think about it right now. I tossed his phone onto the couch, not wanting to hold it another second. In some sick way, I almost blamed the phone for all of this. If I hadn’t picked it up, I wouldn’t be feeling like the world had stopped spinning.
The OUT OF LINE Series Page 14