The OUT OF LINE Series

by Jen McLaughlin

  I stiffened. “Why not?”

  “Because you’re not blowing your cover for me.”

  “What if I want to?”

  “I don’t care.” He lifted a brow. “Besides, your father’s taking care of it. I had to fabricate a story so that he wouldn’t know I was outed to you, but he bought it.”

  Wait, if he lied and didn’t tell him about me knowing his identity, did that mean he was staying? Please God, yes. “What did you tell him?”

  Finn quickly relayed the fabricated story, and I nodded. “That was quick thinking.”

  “No, it wasn’t. I was up all night, waiting.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep, anyway.”

  I looked up at him. “Me either.”

  Our gazes latched, and he turned a little bit red. “Look, Carrie, I—”

  “Are you still leaving?” I asked at the same time.

  He broke off. “Do you want me to?”

  “I don’t want you to,” I said slowly, not dropping my gaze. “I want you to stay, but I get it if you can’t.”

  “Can you ever forgive me? For lying?”

  “I do forgive you.” I took a deep breath. All night long, I’d been asking myself this very question. Asking myself if I could ever understand his motivation. It wasn’t until I answered just now that I realized I already had. “I forgive you for it all. I understand why you did what you did.”

  His eyes lit up. “Do you think you can ever… Can we ever…?”

  I wished I could say yes, but he’d hit me where I was weakest. All my life, Dad had been paying people to get close to me. And the first man I fell in love with was one of them. It hurt too much. Brought back too many memories—none of them good.

  He made a choking sound. “You don’t have to answer. I can see it in your eyes.”

  “I’m so sorry,” my voice a mere whisper. It’s all I could manage past my aching throat.

  He swallowed hard. “I love you, will always love you. I’m sorry I killed us before we even had a chance.”

  And with that bombshell, he shut the door in my face.

  Well, there you had it. I’d told her I loved her. Had asked for another chance. She’d said no. Chapter over. End of our story. I’d always known she was smart, and she’d proved it even more by rejecting me. She deserved more than I could give her. Security. Diamonds. A fucking mansion.

  With another man, she could get all those things and more.

  I slammed my fist into the wall, trembling from the force of the frustration and anger and pain storming through me. What had I been thinking, falling for her? What made me think I could find a way to make her forgive me, when I had so clearly fucked up? She didn’t love me. She never would.

  A knock sounded on the door, and I yanked it open. Carrie still stood there. “How dare you?”

  I closed my fist around the knob, ignoring the way my heart leapt at the sight of her. “How dare I what?”

  She shoved my shoulders, and I backed up. “You don’t tell someone you love them and then just leave. What the hell is wrong with you?”

  I rubbed where her hand had impacted with my shoulder and raised a brow. “You might as well sit if you want me to list everything. It could take all day.”

  “Shut up, you idiot. God, you make me so…so…” She made a frustrated sound and covered her face. “Mad.”

  I dropped my hand and held my breath. “Carrie?”

  “Did you mean it?” She lifted her head, her eyes shooting a challenge at me I would gladly accept. Any day. Any time. Anywhere. “Do you really love me? Or are you just trying to trick me into thinking you do?”

  I frowned at her. I wouldn’t dignify that with a response. “What do you think?”

  “Finn.” She advanced on me. “I need to know. I need to hear it.”

  I growled. With one quick step, I had her in my arms and I was kissing her. Kissing her so she would shut the hell up and stop shooting questions at me. Kissing her because if I didn’t, I might die. When she stopped squirming in my arms, and instead clung to me, I broke off the kiss.

  Cupping her cheeks, I met her eyes and said, “I want to be your man. To show you how happy I can make you. I promise you, with all my heart and soul, that I’m not lying about this. I’m not making anything up. Not anymore.”

  “Finn…”

  “I’m falling in love with you, Ginger.” I kissed her nose. “Hell, who am I kidding? I’m already there. I’m not exactly used to this feeling. If you want me to leave, then I’ll go. You can fall for someone who is much more appropriate for you. If you want me to stay, I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy, or I’ll die trying. Just say the word.”

  “My father’s going to kill you,” she said, tears falling out of her eyes. “Because I love you too.”

  My heart stuttered to a stop, then sped back up to light speed. Beam me up, fucking Scotty. She loved me. “You do?”

  “I do.” She kissed me gently, then shoved me back again. “But if you ever even think about lying to me again, I’ll cut off your balls and shove them so far up your butt you won’t even know they’re missing. Got it?”

  I laughed. “Got it.”

  My phone buzzed in my pocket, and she raised a brow. “Who is that?”

  “Your father, no doubt.” I twisted around to yank it out, holding it down so she could see. No more secrets. Got the problem taken care of. Where is she now? “Hm. I can’t lie, so…” I picked her up and carried her to my bed, falling down on top of her. Then I texted, She’s still in bed.

  Carrie laughed when I showed her what I wrote. “Tell him I’m with three different men, but not to worry. They’re all Ivy League.”

  I growled and nibbled at her throat. “No way. You’re all mine.”

  “No arguments here. Not anymore.” She clung to my shoulders and arched her throat to give me better access. “But he doesn’t know it, and he can’t.”

  I lifted my head. “Why don’t you want to tell him? Is it because you don’t want anyone to know about me? About us?”

  “What? No. No!” She smoothed my hair off my face. “I don’t want your father to lose his pension. He’s always been kind to me, and I need to return the favor. After this year is over, and after your father is done, we’ll tell my father together. Until then, we’ll wait.”

  The fact that she cared enough about Dad’s well-being to lie to her own father only made me fall for her even more. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive as a proton.”

  I laughed and kissed her. My phone buzzed again, and I held it up so she could read. You’ll be returning home with her for winter break. Your father has requested you visit, so I arranged it all.

  Yes, sir.

  I chucked the phone aside and settled in between her legs. “Looks like we’ll be spending Christmas together, Ginger.”

  “Good.” She trailed her fingers down my spine, then over my ass. “I can’t go too long without this.”

  “You’re going to have to if you want us to be a secret.” I lowered my body, nibbling at her shoulder now. “Because when I make you come, you scream, babe.”

  “I do not,” she said haughtily. “I never scream.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  I ran my hand down her stomach, tracing the waistband of her shorts. “I just might have to prove you wrong…”

  I closed my mouth over hers, and she slipped her tongue inside my mouth. I groaned in satisfaction, savoring her taste. Her smell. The way she moved underneath of me, undulating her body and asking for more. More that I’d readily give her. Anything she wanted. The moon. The stars. It would be hers.

  She gripped my ass, yanking me against her. “God, I need you.”

  “Not nearly as much as I need you.”

  I kissed her gently before I took off her sweatshirt. I made quick work of her bra, and then closed my fingers around her bare breasts. When I kneaded them and bit down on her shoulder, she cried out and dug her nails into my back. I hissed, half in pain and half i
n pleasure, and captured her mouth once more.

  I rolled her nipples between my thumbs and fingers, tugging with just enough pressure to make her squirm. When she trembled and moaned into my mouth, I lowered my hands to her waist and yanked her shorts off. Once she was blessedly naked, I made quick work of my own shorts, then grabbed a condom and tossed it on the bed. I laid down on the bed and rolled her on top until she straddled my hips.

  The sight of her perfect breasts hanging above me was almost too much to take in. I lifted my head and urged her down, closing my mouth around her nipple while gripping her hips with my hands. She let out a surprised cry and speared me with her nails, leaving little half-moon marks on my pecs.

  She shoved my shoulders back and took a shaky breath. “That’s enough of that. I want to explore this new position.”

  Her long hair cascaded around her breasts and her back, making her look wanton. Sexy. “You look so hot right now.”

  She looked down at me with smoky eyes and crawled down my body. When she nibbled on my abs, I flinched and buried my hands in her hair. Without hesitation, she closed her lips around me, sucking me in deep. I groaned and closed my eyes, letting her mouth move over me. Torture me. When she rolled her tongue over the head, I bit my tongue to keep from crying out. From begging her to stop…or to never stop.

  I didn’t know which need would win.

  Reaching down, I picked her up and set her aside. After grabbing the foil and putting on a condom, I lowered her to my cock, spreading her legs wide. “I need you now.”

  She gripped my shaft and lowered herself onto me, inch by torturous inch. My balls tightened, and I practically came right there. I’d never been one to get carried away by passion, but with my Carrie…I didn’t have a choice. She touched me, and I was gone.

  I reached up and cupped her face, bringing her down for a slow, passionate kiss. She whimpered into my mouth and moved faster on me, trying to find a rhythm that would give her what she needed. What I needed too.

  I ended the kiss. “Let me try something I think you’ll enjoy.” I tucked her legs behind her body, lifted her up, and then rocked my hips into hers. She shrieked, her nails digging into my skin. “You like that?”

  “Again,” she rasped, her perfect lips parted. “Do it again.”

  I lifted her up a little bit, then lowered her body as I lifted my own, and she cried out. I grinned. “See? Told you you were too loud.”

  “Just shut up and do it again,” she said, ending on a plea.

  I did it again. And again. By the time I reached the third thrust, we were both too lost to talk anymore, let alone think. When her tight muscles clenched down on my cock, warning me of her impending orgasm, my own pleasure grew to a pinnacle. With one last thrust, we both exploded and sank into the mattress, her sweaty body resting against my equally damp one.

  I ran my fingers over her back and smoothed her hair over her face. She cuddled in closer, letting out a contented sigh. “Yeah, I can’t live without that.”

  I chuckled. “I don’t think I can either. We’ll find a way to keep you quiet.”

  “Me?” She reared back and glowered at me, but the sparkle in her eye ruined the effect she was going for. “I think we need to worry about you, not me.”

  I hugged her close. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  She climbed off me and headed for the bathroom. “I’m going to go in here for a minute, and then you’re going to cook for me.”

  “Is that all you want me for?” I rolled onto my stomach and grinned. “Food and sex?”

  Her head poked out of the bathroom. “And booze.”

  “Brat,” I called out.

  She shut the door in my face and I laughed. When I stood up, I stretched my arms high over my head and made my way to the trash can to get rid of the condom. I couldn’t believe she’d forgiven me. Given me a chance to prove to her how much I could be trusted. Life couldn’t get any better than this.

  After I stepped into my shorts, I heard my phone buzz. Padding across the room, I bent down and picked it up. I’d apparently missed a call earlier, and had a voicemail notification. When I recognized the number, I sank onto the bed and swallowed hard. This couldn’t be good news. I just knew it. Could feel it in my gut.

  I hit the play message button, then listened to the brief but life-changing message. When it ended, I let my hand fall to my side. Fuck. This wasn’t going to be good, and it was going to make Carrie cry. I didn’t want to make her cry ever again.

  But I couldn’t hide the truth from her. Not again.

  The door opened and she came out wearing my favorite red shirt. The same one she’d worn twice already. I tossed my phone aside and plastered on a smile. “Damn, babe, you look better in that than I do.”

  “You think?” She posed in the doorway, bending one perfect leg and shooting me a come get me smile. “I might just keep it. It smells like you.”

  I stood up and swept her into my arms, hugging her as tightly as I could. “If you want it, it’s yours. Anything you want.”

  “Well, then.” She lifted her face and smiled up at me, her eyes shining with tears. Happy tears. “All I want is you.”

  I swallowed hard. “You got me.”

  “I did,” she whispered, rising up on tiptoes and kissing me. “And now you need to feed me.”

  She skipped toward the kitchen, and I followed her with a smile. After dinner, I would fill her in. Give her the news. But we could be blissfully happy for a few hours, right? Because right now, I was too busy being fucking happy that I’d gotten the girl of my dreams. The girl I loved, and who also loved me.

  Imagine that.

  First and foremost, I’d like to thank my family. I crammed in the time to write this book for Carrie and Finn, but in turn, my family got to see me hunched over my desk as I did so. Thank you for your love and understanding. Without your support, I’d never have gotten this done.

  To my agent, Louise Fury, and her wonderful pit crew, thank you so much for your advice and editing help! And all your guidance and advice and the support. Oh my God, the support! You are all like magical unicorns in the publishing world. You’re the bee’s knees, and I heart you all.

  To my wonderful publicist with InkSlinger PR, Jessica Estrep, thank you for all the unwavering support and dedication you gave to this book and to me. I’m so, so happy I signed with InkSlinger PR, and even happier I got you!

  To Heidi McLaughlin and Caisey Quinn, thank you for listening to me panic, whine, bitch, and moan as I learned the ropes of this crazy new adult world. And thanks for all the tips, pointers, and help, too. You two are the best friends a girl could ask for! Lots of hugs and kisses!

  To my beta readers, thank you! You all gave me invaluable advice and support, and you helped shape Out of Line into what it is today. I’ll be sure to send book two your way once I, you know, write it.

  To Casey Harris-Parks, Jessica Estep, Louise Fury, and all of her pit crew—thank you for the hours and hours and hours spent deliberating over the perfect title for Finn and Carrie. I couldn’t have done it without you! Seriously!

  And to all of the readers out there, keep on reading.

  Desperate to keep him...

  I’ve finally gotten everything I ever wanted: love, freedom, happiness, and, most importantly, Finn. Our love is everything I expected it to be and more. We’ve finally found each other, but the world seems determined to tear us apart. We thought my father was the only obstacle between us, but now it’s the military. With Finn’s departure looming, we’re squeezing in every moment together before we run out of time.

  Trying to make every moment count…

  Being Carrie’s bodyguard was one thing. Being her boyfriend is another. Every day she’s mine is a day the sun shines in my life. Yet our time together is running out. Her father will never think a tattooed Marine will be good enough, so I’ll do whatever it takes to be worthy of her love. But the road will take me away from the girl who makes me feel a
live—the girl I can’t live without.

  Time only gets us so far…

  Never letting go…

  He closed his arms around me and carried me to his bed. He was so hard and solid and it drove me insane every time he moved his tongue over mine like that. His teeth scraped my lower lip, and I whimpered into his mouth. His fingers moved over my butt, slipping between my legs and rubbing against the spot where I needed him most.

  As he lowered me to the mattress, he started to climb on top of me, but I broke the kiss and shoved at his shoulders. “No,” I said, locking gazes with him. “It’s my turn. Just stand there.”

  He stilled, instantly giving me what I wanted. “Your turn for what?”

  “Control,” I said, my cheeks heating. “I want to undress you.”

  He fisted his hands at his hips, watching me from beneath his lowered lids. When he looked at me like that—like I was his dessert or something—it made everything inside of me quiver and beg for his touch so much it hurt. I licked my lips and crawled to the edge of the bed on all fours. He twitched and took a step toward me; as if he couldn’t hold himself back anymore, but then he stopped.

  He stood there because I’d asked him to.

  I ran my hands over his chest, then up over his shoulders. Just touching him made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world, and I wanted to do everything to him. Everything in the romance books I read at night, and then more. Even though my mother had never figured it out, I used to sneak them out of her library after she was finished with them. I’d started it in sixth grade. Now I bought them with my own money.

  And I had a lot of ideas stored away in my mind that I wanted to try out on Finn.

  This one is for Tessa, Jill, and Trent. You guys kept me sane during my writing spree, and you’re the best friends a girl could ask for.

  I pulled Carrie tighter to my chest, closing my eyes, even though I was fully awake and alert. I just needed a second to hold her. To breathe her in. I wanted to ignore life for a second longer, because today was the day I had to tell Carrie I have bad news, and I was not looking forward to it. But hell, I didn’t even necessarily know what the message was about yet. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions.