Tell Me You Want Me

by Joya Ryan

  It had been too much.

  It was still no excuse. She’d hurt Dex. Any apology she attempted would come too late. He was done with her anyway. Maybe he had wanted to be done with her from the beginning.

  “Men and their pride are stupid,” Natalie tried again.

  Michelle was grateful her friend was so gracious when it came to her feelings, but Dex’s pride wasn’t the only thing wounded. Michelle was pretty sure she’d cut to the heart of him. And that broke her own heart right back.

  Michelle looked at her friend. “I told him I wanted more. Told him I was sorry…but it wasn’t enough.” It would never be enough. And no matter how many messages she’d left saying all of this, she got nothing back from him. “Maybe I built up our relationship in my mind. Made it more than it was?”

  “Love is tricky,” Natalie said.

  “Whoa, who said anything about love?” Michelle asked. Yes, her heart was torn in two. But love?

  Natalie crossed her arms. “You’re eating your weight in chocolate, you look like hell, and if you glance at your cell phone one more time in hopes that you may have missed a silent call from him, the poor phone is going to get whiplash.”

  Oh crap.

  She thought about what Dex had said in front of her father. The one word she’d never heard from a man. The one word Brad had never used…

  We.

  He’d wanted to help. Tackle life and her shop and everything as a team.

  She did love Dex. That brutish man with a wicked smile and even more wicked mind totally had her swooning.

  “Love or not, we don’t belong together,” Michelle said.

  “Says who?” Natalie asked.

  “Uh, everyone. His mom hates me. My parents hate him. And I messed up, Nat. Bad. I should have stood up for him, for us.”

  “So, isn’t your daddy hating the bad boy you’re dating part of the thrill?”

  Yeah it was, but that was just it. Dex wasn’t a bad-boy cliché. He was…more. He was special and kind and funny. But that’s how he was seen. The bad boy. The party guy. The fun time. And that’s what she’d used him for.

  “I messed up,” Michelle said again. “I can’t ask him to forgive me for what I did.”

  And he was done with her now, anyway. This wasn’t some sappy love story. There would be no grand gesture to fix this.

  “I think he messed up, too,” Natalie said. “But the great thing about messing up is that you get messy.”

  Michelle frowned. Getting messy was fun. It was something she and Dex did really well.

  Natalie held her friend’s hand. “It’s up to you how you want to go about this, but no matter what, you have to realize what you want. And the kind of woman you want to be. If Dex doesn’t bring out that woman, then it’s best he’s gone. But if he does bring out that woman… If he helps you be the woman you want to be…” Natalie swiped a finger of frosting off the cupcake. “Then that sounds like something worth fighting for.”

  Michelle let out a heavy exhale. There wasn’t much she could do beyond scarf down more chocolate and wallow. Not when he was gone. Not when she’d all but told him he wasn’t good enough for her and never would be.

  Except that wasn’t true. Not at all.

  He wasn’t just good for her. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

  She loved him.

  “I know you’re a pain in the ass, but I never thought you were a full-fledged asshole,” East said, walking up to the rec center with Dex. They were set to teach survival training soon. East was doing medic and CPR training, and all Dex could think about was the click of the restaurant door he’d walked out of last night.

  “What are you talking about?” Dex asked.

  “I’m talking about your woman. I heard her basically kick her parents out of the restaurant last night, then call you a million times.”

  “I’m not taking calls right now,” Dex said.

  “Yeah, which makes you either an asshole or a pissy twelve-year-old that doesn’t know how to handle your shit.”

  “I’m handling my shit just fine,” he said. “This isn’t your business.”

  “Maybe not, but someone needs to tell you when you’re being stupid. Which is what you’re being. That woman loves you. Yeah, she made a mistake. But guess what? People mess up. Did you get a look at her parents? Shit, I froze with terror staring down her dad. Can you imagine growing up with that?”

  No, Dex couldn’t. Because their lives were different. Which was something that’d grown increasingly clear over the last several weeks. And it wasn’t just her parents. Michelle had said he was nothing. Yeah, she’d left messages trying to explain that’s not what she’d meant, but it still fucking sucked. She’d almost looked angry at him. Like he was trying to take something from her, when he was just trying to help.

  “Natalie filled me in a little,” East offered. “You know that the dick Michelle was with before she moved here basically controlled her. Then dumped her when she finally tried to do something for herself.” East shook his head. “Between city-tight-ass parents and an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s no wonder that woman fights so hard for her life.”

  That made Dex stop. His stomach twisted, because East’s story sounded awful. Awful that Michelle had to deal with that. Was still dealing with it. And it clicked now why she snapped at him when he’d said, “we.” She was trying to stand up for herself to her father, and he’d swooped in and made it about them instead of about her.

  “She ran after you last night at the restaurant,” East said.

  That made Dex’s head snap up and meet his buddy’s eyes. “She did?”

  “Yep. And when you weren’t there, she went back inside and gave her parents an earful in your defense.”

  Dex stopped mid-stride and stood on the sidewalk. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I’m saying that you’re a dick. If you want, I can spell it slowly for you. D-I-C—”

  “I mean about Michelle.”

  “Well, I don’t know if you deserve to know, considering how you treated her.”

  “How I treated her?” Christ, East was as bad as the women he hung out with. He knew all the ins and outs of his damn friends. But that didn’t make him an expert. Certainly not more of an expert on Dex than Dex was on himself. Yet here East was claiming he knew something Dex had completely missed.

  Any other day, he would have told his friend where to stick his insight.

  But Dex already knew East was on to something. Because deep down, he’d known he’d made a mistake with Michelle ever since she’d left last night. Hearing East say something only confirmed it.

  “Her dad was ready to pay me for my services,” Dex said. “Do you know what that would make me?”

  “Yeah, stupid. Because you know that’s not what Michelle wanted you for.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Dex said, getting it all out there and hearing how wrong it all sounded with every word. “She wanted a good time. That’s it. She never had a claim on me, and I never had a claim on her.”

  “Because you never made one,” East said.

  Yeah. Wasn’t that the hell of it?

  “We’re too different. From different worlds,” Dex said. “And she wants independence more than anything.” So taking him on as her boyfriend or any kind of commitment wasn’t likely. “Even if she does have feelings for me. Me pulling for her would just make her afraid all over again. Might even make her feel like a failure when she needs to know she’s anything but.”

  East shook his head. “You’re too busy buying into your own bullshit to see that those worlds could co-exist if you wanted. Did you give her a chance to claim you? Give her a reason to? Did you offer more than your ‘good-time Dex’ sense of humor?”

  No, he hadn’t. To any of that. But she’d come after him, tried to explain, and he’d shut her out. Because he’d assumed she was like the others. And he’d made that assumption from the beginning. He’d acknowledged and then igno
red all of the signs that proved she wasn’t like the other women. The signs that proved how right she was for him. The signs that proved…

  “I love her,” he said. Maybe at first sight—maybe at first glare more like it. And he’d blown it. He’d seen how her face fell when her parents talked over her. They’d treated her that way her entire life, and she still had the courage to leave them and try to be something different. Something better.

  He knew firsthand how hard she’d been working to gain her independence and a stronger sense of self. He’d just barged in and blindsided her. What was worse, he should have understood, because he knew what it was like to live a life based on expectations—how people expected you to be something so small that you never tried to be anything more.

  Apparently East could see Dex was putting shit together, because he was smiling. “You know what you could do to really show her you won’t do anything to compromise her independence?”

  “What’s that?” Dex said.

  “Give her the chance to choose you. Or to reject you. Let her know she has the power. You’ll love her either way.”

  His friend was right. Whether she still wanted him or not, he had to tell her the truth. He had to tell her that he loved her. That he believed in her. That she couldn’t give up on herself, not when she was so close. And, though he didn’t dare dream she’d say yes, that he hoped she wouldn’t give up on them, either.

  “Can you start without me?” he asked East. “I need to make a call.”

  East patted his shoulder. “You better be a hell of a groveler.”

  East went inside the classroom, and Dex dialed Michelle.

  It went straight to voicemail. “Michelle, we need to talk. I’m sorry. I’ll be back tomorrow.” He paused, gathering his courage. “I’m coming for you.”

  First, he had to finish this damn class.

  He shoved his phone in his pocket and stomped into the classroom. He put down his pack on the front of the table and glanced at the crowd. Maybe twenty people were there. He didn’t look too hard, just turned his back and started writing on the whiteboard. The sooner he ended this stupid training, the sooner he could get to Michelle.

  “Welcome to survival training. Can anyone tell me what is one thing you need to know about your surroundings in any situation?”

  It was silent for a solid three seconds, then a sweet voice rang out, “You need to know how to use your surroundings to your advantage.”

  Dex’s head snapped up. He turned around and saw Michelle sitting dead center, her little notebook and fuzzy pen in hand and looking beautiful and all the classy woman she was and always would be.

  He wanted to jump through the crowd and snatch her up right there. But that challenging brow she gave made him want to play back just as much as the hope that she’d give him a second chance.

  “That’s right, ma’am,” he said, and she tried to hide a blush, but he saw it. “But you need to be careful. Sometimes the wilderness is brutal, and you have to choose your tools carefully.”

  “Is there a terrain that is truly unforgiving? Surely even the rocky cliffs and dangerous peaks have an upside in exploring them.”

  “They do,” he agreed. “And they provide an endless adventure. If that’s what you’re interested in.”

  She raised her chin. “I’m more interested in holding on to a certain tool. The adventure is just a bonus.”

  He smiled, and his chest did a flip. She wanted him for him, and she was claiming him.

  “That tool is lucky to have you then, princess. More than lucky.”

  “I hope so,” she said and stood to walk toward him. “Because I’m staying to make this work with him, and I sort of love that tool.”

  He damn near knocked over one of the desks to get to her. He wrapped her up in his arms. “That tool loves you. And I’m so sorry for being such an idiot.”

  “I’m sorry, too,” she whispered, then planted those sweet lips on his. “But…I need your help…” She leaned in and whispered for his ears only, “And it involves my panties.”

  He smiled. “I’m happy to help you out with that anytime.”

  A woman like her loved a man like him, and he’d never thought he’d see the day when he could be holding the finest thing ever created.

  He glanced over and saw East with his arms crossed, his eyes saying WTF? but his smile saying he was pleased with what he saw.

  “You guys need to step outside,” East said. “I have a class to teach.”

  Once they were outside, Dex pulled her to him and kissed her again.

  “We can make the boutique a success,” he promised her.

  “I was hoping you’d say that, because I’m going to launch my lingerie line. And I had a marketing idea I was hoping you could help me with.”

  “Yes. Whatever it is, especially involving your panties, the answer is yes.”

  She smiled. “Well, I was thinking you could use your skills and reputation to gather some of your hot search and rescue friends to pick a ‘Look of the Month.’”

  “First off, you’re not allowed to think my friends are hot,” he said and nipped her bottom lip.

  “I don’t,” she defended. “I was just told you SAR guys are a big deal around here.”

  Well, he couldn’t fault her for knowing the truth.

  “I was hoping each of you would endorse your favorite item in the boutique. That would be my display for the month. You know, tying a hot guy with his ‘lingerie of choice’ could make for a lot of sales. Since this is all based on fantasy.”

  He nodded. She was smart. “I love the idea. So long as I get to pick next month.” He ran his palms down her sides. “My choice is that black lace number you had on when you were at my place.”

  She smiled. “So it’s settled. SAR officer Dex Young officially endorses the Black Magic set.”

  “Oooh, Black Magic, huh? I like it!”

  For a man that loved his adventure one night at a time, he couldn’t give up the one woman who made him want more. Turned out, she was the adventure he’d been searching for. And now that he had her in his arms, there was no way he’d let her go.

  Epilogue

  “Now this is rough terrain,” Dex said and looked around.

  “This is the Upper East Side,” Michelle whispered back.

  “Exactly,” he said.

  They were standing in the middle of the Four Seasons in New York, toasting her parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary. And throughout the whole event, Michelle hadn’t stopped kissing or loving on Dex. In fact, she hadn’t stopped kissing or loving him in the three months they’d been together. She couldn’t get enough of him.

  Though she had a tough relationship with her parents still, Michelle insisted on coming to their party. She wanted to show off her man. Because she was proud of him. So proud and she wanted everyone to know it. He’d been great helping her with her boutique as well, and it was finally booming. Turned out, women loved having a sexy guy to go with their fantasies and the custom-made lingerie was flying off the shelf faster than she could make it.

  “Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have you on my arm?” he said and gave her ass a little squeeze. She loved that he pawed her in public. It made her feel sexy and wanted.

  “I was just thinking about this man candy I have right here,” she said softly, moving to face him and running the back of her hand over his cock.

  “Do that again, princess, and you’re going to make things very, very hard.” He nipped her earlobe. “And we’re surrounded by people. I’d hate for them to hear you scream.”

  “I think I’d like for them to hear me scream.”

  Dex raised a brow. “Careful what you ask for.”

  She shrugged and took a drink of her champagne then trailed her finger over his growing cock again.

  “I don’t think screaming would be a problem since I have a nice meaty shoulder to bite into,” she said and kissed his neck, then his earlobe.

  His whole body said, Ga
me on. He grabbed her hand and took her through the mass of people, while she tried not to giggle with glee. Everyone offered “hellos” and “how are yous” but Dex just kept tugging her past them. She loved that about him and didn’t want to waste a second with anyone when she could have Dex.

  He didn’t slow down until he found the door to the stairwell and led her inside.

  Finally alone, yet within earshot of the public, she pushed him against the wall and her mouth was on him in no time. He spun, and pinned her back against the wall instead and hoisted her up. Dex held her weight while she went to work on his tie, loosening it while she kissed him. When he stared nipping at the pulse point in her neck, she lost her mind and tore at his shirt, exposing his strong shoulder.

  Moving her weight to one arm, he opened his belt and surged inside of her. Just in time for her teeth to find his shoulder. She bit down around a yell of pleasure.

  “Fuck, baby, I almost had to go two full hours without being inside of you.” He thrust again. “Not cool.”

  She shook her head. No, it wasn’t. Her time was spent mostly being in, on, or around Dex. If she went too long without him, she got cranky.

  And didn’t seem to ever be sated, either.

  He was a fun time. A wild man that made her feel dirty in all the right ways. And she loved him. Loved him so much, because he was her own personal adventure. All while teaching her how to be adventurous herself.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you,” she said as he continued pounding inside of her. Her orgasm rising as much as the need to scream his name.

  “I know I’ll never get enough of you,” he said. “I love you, princess.”

  As her pleasure overtook her, Dex was there to kiss her. She’d finally found her prince. And she was the lucky one.

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