Spellkeeper

by Courtney Privett

“Please just tell me when you get those pains. It's an easy spell to ease it. I know it doesn't take away all the pain or the underlying cause, but–”

  “But it helps. I took a troll hammer to the spine. It's never going to be right.” He gently drew her down so they were crowded side-by-side on the bed. “And I couldn't fight effectively because of it. I couldn't defend you like I should have been able to.”

  “Damn it, Tessen.” Kemi scoffed and shook her head. “We were ambushed. Nothing that happened was your fault. The other three were there to help us, the Fae are dead, and Mordegan should be fine. Don't you dare blame yourself for anything.”

  “That's just what I do.” He rolled toward her and rested his hand on her belly. A tiny prickle greeted his touch.

  Kemi set her hand over his. “I had to let out some of my clothes yesterday. I know I'm not showing yet, but everything is already getting snug.”

  “I can feel her now,” Tessen whispered. He kissed Kemi's temple and stroked her bare skin with the side of his hand.

  “Her?”

  “I think so. I'm not completely sure, and there are people who present as a different gender than how I feel them, but I think it's a girl. This is the first time I've felt her, and it's just this faint tingle of security and warmth because she's not aware yet. We're in this panic, but she's floating through her little world within you, safe and content.”

  “That's so . . . calming.” And it was. Kemi's adrenaline receded as Tessen spoke, and her body relaxed against his as she rolled to face him. She draped her arm and leg over him. “I'm afraid something bad is going to happen to her or us. I'll lose her before birth, or she'll lose me during birth, or you'll lose both of us. Your mother once tried to joke with me about how much more difficult your birth was than any of your siblings because you were huge, and now I keep getting stuck in this thought loop about how I'm too small to safely birth a gigantic half-elven baby.”

  He kissed her forehead. “My mom should have kept her mouth shut. You'll be fine, both of you. Look at Berra. She isn't any bigger than you are, and she had Benny.”

  “I know. She tried to tell me my body won't grow a baby any bigger than it can get out, but that doesn't stop the thoughts from creeping in. Highborn elves lose a lot of babies, and more elven than human mothers don't survive childbirth. They don't want to admit it's because most of us are married off to our cousins.”

  “Good thing I'm not your cousin, and your parents are from two lines that were intentionally kept separated until they married. It's going to be okay, Kemi. You're going to be okay.”

  She kissed him and ran her fingers through his tangled curls as the boat swayed around them. It was a disorienting motion, and he knew she was fighting the nausea induced by it even more than he was. She gulped, then whispered. “I have never felt safer than I do in your arms. It's such a wonderful feeling to fall asleep and wake up with you.”

  “I was never able to sleep if anyone was touching me, until you.” He slowly ran his hand down her back and let it glide over the curve of her hip.

  “And you let me do that within days of meeting me. See, we might be ridiculous and too young, but we're supposed to be together.” She closed her eyes and sighed as her wave of nausea swept across them both. “Just hold me like this for a while, will you?”

  “Forever?”

  “Longer.”

  YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY water. You don't need to go into it for it to soothe you. Please don't go into it.

  “I wasn't planning on it,” Tessen mumbled, his eyes still closed.

  “Wasn't planning on what?” Kemi's hand settled on his collarbone.

  He yawned and looked up at her. She sat next to him with his spectacles perched on her nose and a book on her knees. Tessen's back ached as he slowly sat up, and his stomach lurched in time with the waves. “Nothing. I think Serida was talking to me. She must be up top enjoying the rain. I . . . I guess I fell asleep?”

  “We both did.” She turned the page and giggled. “I found an orcan romance novel tucked between the mattress and headboard. At least I think it's romance. It's quite something.”

  “Trying to get some insight on Iefyr?”

  “Heh. No. He clearly takes after his mother, if this is any indication. I don't know. Maybe South Isle orcs are different from Pearl Realm orcs in more aspects than language. There are some interesting . . . um . . . mating rituals detailed in this. Don't worry, I don't plan on trying any of them on you. I don't think either of us have the physical strength for half of this.” She shut the book onto a ribbon, then took off the spectacles and handed them to Tessen. “I want to borrow these again later.”

  “Useful, aren't they? I'm glad I ended up with them.” He shivered as a rumble shook the ship. “Is that thunder, or is the coaxi thing chasing us?”

  “Storm.” She rested her head on his shoulder, then wove her fingers through his. “Berra's crew seems to be enjoying it. I can hear them laughing up on deck.”

  “They're an interesting group.”

  “All-female pirate crew? Oh, yes.” She looked up at him and grinned. “I think some of them are settling at the cove with us, too, some of the ones who brought family members with them. Auberline's as good as gone, so they're all either joining us or sticking around until Berra can sail them up to Coral Bay in the Amethyst Realm.”

  Tessen closed his eyes and inhaled. He felt the giddiness of the sailors, Radella's comfort as she was held by one of her parents, the Vale children's boredom and unrelenting hunger, Mordegan's irritated bursts of pain. None of it was overwhelming. It was just there, like the wind on the sails and the fabric beneath his bare skin.

  “Are you all right?” Kemi asked.

  “I'm wonderful,” Tessen whispered.

  “Is that supposed to be sarcasm?”

  “No.” He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “Water calms me, and I'm surrounded by it. It dampens the sharpness of everyone else's emotions. I can feel them, but it's part of the ambiance and not an assault. I felt like that sometimes in Auberline, but this is different, more peaceful in spite of all the noise.”

  “You're not thinking of becoming a pirate to subdue your magic-skill, are you?”

  He laughed. “Gods, no. I don't think I can ever get used to this constant certainty that I'm about to vomit.”

  She reached up and stroked his chin. “I don't know. I think we'd be excellent pirates.”

  “I don't want to be a pirate.” He let her nauseated giddiness settle around his back. “You've entertained the idea though, haven't you? Let's not. I've been done with adventuring since before I even started.”

  “I used to want adventure. Thought I'd found it when Kai and I were sent to the Faelands. First diplomatic mission, but we were more excited about being allowed out of Anthora than the actual task. We went hunting for this rogue Spellkeeper, thought it would make Mom happy if we brought him to her instead of to Dad. Thought she was a better person than Dad. We ended up in a gladiatorial arena instead.” She closed her eyes and sniffled as guilt and grief further clouded the gray light. “We held our hands to the flame and only one of us returned. We ignited a war. How many people have died now because Kai and I wanted to go on an adventure? Five this morning, five Fae, and that was just to save me from some people who my people wronged. Again.”

  “Sometimes we try to do the right thing and instead the world laughs as it crushes our hopeful dreams. You said yourself over a year ago that your father was looking for an excuse to declare war on the Fae. He would have found that excuse even if Kai . . . even if you hadn't lost Kai.”

  “The world lost Kai. I'm just an imitation of what he should have been.” A sullen laugh escaped from between her clenched teeth as she leaned to the side to lift the clothing sack onto the bed. She barely restrained her tears as she dug through the bag. “Before we got to Parandor, Kai took me aside and told me you were important. He said you'd be the father of my children. I laughed at him. I thought he was mocking
me because I was already attracted to you. He was right, though, wasn't he? The only children I will ever have will be yours. The only adventures I have will be with you.” She wiped away her tears, then handed him a rumpled tunic. “And now I find comfort in that, and in remembering the words he said to me. We found each other through misguided adventure, bound ourselves together with another, and now we're on an adventure to forsake all further adventures. You need calm like you need air, and maybe so do I. I never want anyone else to die because of me. Let's not be pirates. Let's live simply and peacefully, with a handful of children and some friends who need that calm just as much as we do.”

  The boat rocked and Tessen's stomach lurched. “I think that's a good plan.”

  “Get dressed and we can go find out what's happening. I think I need to eat something. I know it's going to come back up, but I still need to eat. So do you.” Kemi sighed, then tossed the sack onto the floor and pulled one of Tessen's shirts over her head. The sleeves extended well-past her fingertips. “Nothing I grabbed will fit me without alterations. I think I left the clothes I altered on the bed in the manor, or I packed them in one of the crates. Damn it, I can't remember. Maybe someone on board has something I can borrow, but in the meantime...” She held the sleeves to her nose and inhaled deeply. “...in the meantime, I'm wearing this. It smells like you and that's calming my stomach.”

  A grumble spread across Tessen's gut. “I think I forgot to eat before I went out this morning. It was still dark and I didn't want to wake anyone by rummaging around the kitchen.”

  “I think you'll feel better if you eat, even if you end up sick like I know I'm going to.” She slid a skirt over her hips, then stood up and watched Tessen wiggle into his pants. The shirt she wore reached her knees.

  “I think about eight of you could fit in that shirt. Makes me feel enormous.”

  She laughed and chased away the remainder of her grief. It would emerge from hiding again later. It always did. “You're tall and strong. Never expected to be attracted to a human, but ever since I met you, I look at you and my heart soars.”

  “Who were you attracted to before me?” Tessen asked playfully. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and slipped his feet into his boots.

  Kemi's ears reddened. “You really want to know?”

  “I'm curious.”

  She sighed as the blush spread across her cheeks. “Elves, because nothing else was considered acceptable. There was this guard in The Halls of Anthora, aloof as anyone I've ever met, but damn if he wasn't gorgeous. Raldaerian Brightstar. Black hair, storm-gray eyes you could just fall into and drown. He was my crush for a long time, and highborn enough that I could have married him without causing a fuss. But I didn't love him, and I wouldn't have been happy with him even if I'd never met you. My attraction to you took me by surprise, and I'm glad it did.” She opened the door, then reached for his hand. “Come on. Let's see if there is anything palatable in the mess hall.”

  They stumbled down a half-flight of stairs into an open area of the ship. Several sailors laughed together over a card game by the wall, and the smells of herbs and cooked fish swirled through the amusement in the air.

  Kemi tottered toward a vertical support, then righted herself by grabbing Tessen's forearm. His balance faltered and he struck his shin on a stool.

  “You kids've got no sea legs at all, do ya?” asked a half-orc sailor with a large scar across her nose. “This storm's nothing. Good thing the two of you weren't on board for that hurricane Captain sailed us through a couple years back. Remember that, Mari?” She clapped her hand against the back of a morose-looking dwarf.

  “Even I lost my stew during that mess,” the dwarf said, scowling. She looked up and nodded at Kemi. “Won't be too long and your weak little stomach will be back on land. A week, I think. Captain routed us around the reefwalker mating waters.”

  “Chirp?”

  Tessen stumbled around the support to find Auna tearing apart what appeared to be a large blue lobster. The balefire dragon's black tail fronds swished against Iefyr's leg and her red scales glittered in the light of the tiny fireball sitting above his extended palm.

  “You don't look seasick,” Kemi said. She pulled up a chair and sat across from Iefyr.

  The fireball evaporated and he looked up. Vague irritation revealed he'd been so lost in concentration that he hadn't noticed their arrival. He smiled and said, “I'm a Sealash. My father's clan is one of fishers and sailors. I spent a lot of time on boats as a child. Nothing as big as this one, but the smaller ones rock harder. You two look rather ill, but I find the motion comforting.”

  Tessen chose a loaf of bread from a serving table. He split it in half and handed one portion to Kemi before sitting next to her. “How's Mordegan?”

  Iefyr's ear twitched as he shrugged. “Alive and will stay that way. He's going to be miserable for a while, though. The location of the wound is going to make it agonizing for him to vomit. And he will, according to Benny. She has no problem transitioning between land and sea, but Mordegan's just not made for it. Radamar either, apparently. He was curled up on the floor with a bucket last I checked on him.”

  Kemi swallowed a chunk of bread. “Desert and mountain elves are not meant to travel by sea. I have a feeling we'll just be getting used to it when we reach our destination.”

  “Where we'll promptly miss the luxuries of plumbing and retail.” Iefyr grinned and offered Tessen a bowl of shelled nuts. “You'll feel better if you eat something. You look just as sick as she does.”

  Tessen picked up a walnut and examined it before deciding his stomach wasn't quite ready for anything but bread. He set it in Kemi's hand, then propped his elbows on the table. “I seem to be absorbing everyone else's seasickness. I don't think I would feel quite this bad if I wasn't an empath. That's apparently a constant in my life.”

  “I don't think you have any idea how much better you're doing. I know you aren't where you want to be, but I can see the change in your eyes and posture. Even with the seasickness, you're calm and relaxed. You seemed so detached before.”

  “I was.”

  Iefyr's smile turned toward Kemi. “I think you saved his life.”

  “I didn't–” she started.

  “I know she did,” Tessen said. He finished his bread, then put his arm around Kemi while she fought a wave of nausea. Acid rose in his own throat as he kissed her temple. “Serida told me I wouldn't have made it long alone, that I have an innate need to be close to other people even when their pain becomes my own. She's right. You followed me to the edge, Kemi, and you pulled me back and refused to let me go. I love you so much, and in ways I never expected.” He reached across the table and grasped Iefyr's hand. “Sorry, I startled you. You didn't jump but I felt it. I love you too, Iefyr. Not in the same way, obviously. I know you're stuck on another miserable adventure with me, but I'm glad you're here.”

  Iefyr raised an eyebrow. “Miserable? No, not at all. Maybe dangerous, maybe unexpected, but not miserable. I was an operative for ten years and thought I'd end up living a short and lonely life in service to my adoptive realm. I'm not an operative anymore, and I'm not alone. I'm dragonbound, I have friends I trust with not only my life, but my feelings . . . and Kemi, you brought me to my family, my odd little family that I didn't even know was possible. It is an honor to be on this adventure with you, my friends.” He leaned back in his chair and grinned at Auna, who had finished her lobster and come over to rest her head on his lap. “Where are your dragons?”

  Kemi held one hand over her mouth and pointed upward with the other.

  Tessen grabbed a bucket from the bench behind them and handed it to her. “Getting in the way. Serida loves storms. Lenna is probably flying alongside the ship.”

  Kemi nodded, then twisted to the side and retched into the bucket. Groaning, she set it on the floor and slumped against Tessen. She closed her eyes and whispered. “Never again will I ride a boat while pregnant.”

  “You should
go lie down,” Tessen said.

  “I'm not tired.”

  “I know.”

  Iefyr patted Auna's head. “Lie on your back if you can. It helps. I tried to tell Radamar that, but he wasn't in a mood to listen. Benny has some ginger candies, but those might burn if you can't keep them down. If not for the weather, I'd say go up on deck for some air and a view of the horizon.”

  “Kemi.” Tessen leaned back as his own nausea threatened to overtake him.

  “Back to bed, both of you,” Iefyr said. The concern drifting from him was speckled with amusement. “I'll bring you more bread and buckets as soon as Auna lets me up, and I'll let you know if anything changes with Mordegan or anything else.”

  26

  Hael

  Min stood beneath the cliff, her hands on her hips and her eyes looking upward to take in the clear night sky. Behind her, Juna and Glin surveyed the barricaded entrance to a mine. Signs were posted around the heavy iron door, but Hael could only read a couple of the words. Danger. Do Not Enter. Illness.

  “The orcs said people who go inside get sick,” Juna said. He turned toward Hael and nodded. “We've been waiting for you for many breaths.”

  “I know. Elan needed my help.” Hael brushed past Min to get a better look at the signs. She raised her hand to touch the painted letters, but thought better of it and returned her fingers to her pocket. “Is this where the shaman found the Goldtrees?”

  “Yes,” Glin replied. She was a copper-skinned woman from Juna's Uldru. She and Juna looked enough alike that they were likely kin, but it was impolite to ask. Too many Uldru were separated from their families when young, and for free Uldru, wondering if another could be the sibling who was torn screaming from their arms to be sold to another hive was more devastating than joyful. There were sibling and cousin groups among them, but they only made their kinship known on their own terms.

  Juna nodded. “Frald followed an iron sprite to them. Daelis and his son were very ill, near death, from the sickness within the mine tunnels, and she cured them and brought them to the surface. Frald said the illness doesn't affect females like it does males. It is treatable and curable, though.”