Lady in Demand

by Wendy Vella

  “You designed those?”

  Alex nodded, looking wary. Finn had done that to him, made him wary, just as he had foolishly judged Phoebe and found her wanting.

  “I’m not a molly, Finn, I just have a flair for something other than machinery.”

  Closing his eyes, Finn lowered his head into his hands. When he’d finally reached his house after his confrontation with Alex and Phoebe, Finn had stormed into this room and locked the door. He’d sat and drank and during that time the one thing that had haunted him was how neither Phoebe nor Alex, two of the people he love most in this world, had trusted him enough to tell him what they were doing. He’d realized, as he sat there staring at the fire getting slowly inebriated, that by living with his rules and control, when something challenged him he couldn’t cope, hadn’t coped.

  “I’ve been a fool, Alex. I would ask you to forgive me?”

  “Accepted. Now what are you going to do about Phoebe?”

  Lifting his head, he opened one eye and looked at Alex.

  “How can you forgive me so quickly? I was an idiot to ever suspect you of gambling or having feelings for Phoebe. It was very wrong of me.”

  “Phoebe made me promise her that I would forgive you before she left.”

  “Christ, she’s been a better person than me all along, hasn’t she?” Finn shook his head and then instantly regretted it as pain shot through his skull.

  “Not better, exactly. Just perhaps a little less uptight and more forward thinking,” Alex said.

  “Although seeing you now,” Ben added, “no one would believe you are the formidable viscount who strikes fear in those who do not come to heel.”

  They were quiet for a few seconds and Finn closed his eyes again as he rested his head against the back of the chair.

  “She’s gone, you know.”

  Alex’s words were subdued.

  “Where?” Finn rasped.

  “Twoaks I believe. She told us some story about escorting Bella there but neither Hannah nor I believe it. She was running from you, Finn, or more importantly from the fact that she loves you. I’m sure of it.”

  “What?” Finn struggled upright. Ben steadied him as he wobbled.

  “Oh, she loves you alright, big brother, just as you love her.” Alex looked somber and Finn felt his eyes begin to itch. He never cried, couldn’t actually remember the last time, but he felt the first ones slide down his cheek.

  “It’s alright, brother.” Alex pulled him close and held him tight. Ben laid a hand on his shoulder and they stayed that way until Finn had himself under control once more.

  “I love you both so much and am proud of the men you have become. I shall try and let you make decisions for yourself, but can’t promise to follow through with this all the time. It-it’s just in my nature to want to protect you both.”

  “As you have always done,” Ben added. “But now let us care for you, Finn, because I think you have a trip to take.”

  “I love her,” Finn rasped, letting them lead him from the room.

  “We know, and she will forgive you because she loves you, too.”

  Lord, he hoped so because he was doomed otherwise. She was his life. To not see her smile each day and hold her in his arms would be torture.

  Forgive me, my love.

  Finn arrived at Will’s place two hours later. He had bathed while Alex and Ben had forced coffee and food down his throat. He’d gagged but managed to keep it all down. Alex had tied his necktie and, looking down, Finn marveled at the creation, his brother really did have a flair for fashion. Ben had ordered his bags packed and summoned his carriage and then they had bundled him inside and waved him on his way.

  Alex had forgiven him, but he doubted Phoebe would be as easy to conquer. He had hurt her badly by continually finding her lacking, and it would take a great deal on his part to get her to forgive him. He would have to tell her everything that was in his heart and hope she understood why he had done and said the things he had. Finn wasn’t good at opening up to people and sharing his emotions, yet he knew nothing less with Phoebe would do. But before he went to her he had to start with Will and Olivia. They deserved to know his intentions and what he had done.

  He was shown into Will’s office, and his friend sat behind his desk reading over some report or other as he constantly did.

  “Good morning, Finn. You look like hell.”

  “I feel like it.”

  “Sit and I shall order coffee.”

  Finn shuddered. “Tea, please.” He could stomach no more coffee.

  “Is Livvy at home, Will? What I have to say I want her to hear also.”

  Will rose without saying anything further and headed for the door. Minutes later he returned with his wife.

  “Hello, Finn.”

  Livvy sat in the chair Will brought forward for her.

  “Yesterday I followed my brother when he left the house to Madame Alexander’s. I walked in to find Phoebe, Miss Wooller and Alex inside having a discussion.”

  “I’m glad that was a moment I was able to avoid,” Will drawled.

  “I was understandably shocked and, yes, hurt,” he added, deciding on honesty.

  “Strangely, my sister-in- law, looked just as you do, yesterday, before she ran to the country.” Will took Livvy’s hand in his and patted it. He did not look overly upset.

  “What did you say to my sister, Finn?”

  “It is not what I said, Olivia, but that I have continually judged Phoebe and found her lacking.” Finn cleared his throat before continuing. It was easier to stand in the House of Lords and give a speech than to bear his soul in front of these two. “I’m afraid I have not been myself since I met Phoebe.”

  “Why were you not yourself, Finn?”

  Taking a deep breath, Finn looked at Olivia and then Will.

  “I love Phoebe very much, yet did not recognize that love for what it was until it was too late. She is kind and gentle and genuine to those around her, unlike so many who walk amongst us, and there is no doubt in my mind that she is the better person of the two of us. I have never known anyone like her and it is because of that, I believe, that I never quite found my footing around her.”

  “Oh my,” Livvy sighed.

  “It’s about bloody time!” Will snapped. “I’ve waited weeks for you to wake up, Levermarch, and when you do it’s to find her gone. Well, I wish you well, my friend, as you try to extract your large foot from your mouth, because believe me Phoebe will not make it easy on you.”

  “I want to marry her, of course, if she will have me.” Finn felt light-headed; all this unburdening was taxing on a person who had previously kept all his emotions locked neatly inside.

  “You better bloody marry her!”

  “Will, stop speaking that way. Can you not see Finn is upset.”

  Finn found his first smile as Olivia spoke.

  “He’s the one who was horrid to your sister not I, wife. Tell him off.” Will looked affronted; Finn, however, made himself sigh and look beaten.

  “No one is going to fall for that act, Levermarch, so drop it.”

  “Thank God that witch Croxley showed you her true colors before it was too late,” Will added. “Her father is sending her to the country for pushing Phoebe down those stairs if I promise to go no further with the incident. He has assured me that she will be settled there and married off to a local nobleman, and no longer show her face in London during the season.”

  “Does Phoebe know it was her?” Finn questioned.

  “I have yet to tell her, so perhaps if you see her first you can,” Will added with a knowing smile.

  “Finn, I would like to tell you something of our past now and if after hearing this you wish to go to Phoebe, then of course you have our blessing.”

  Surprise showed on Will’s face as Livvy spoke.

  “Are you sure, love?”

  “If he loves her as he says he does, he will understand.”

  “And if he doesn’t, I will p
ummel him until he does.”

  Finn’s eyes didn’t leave Livvy’s as she took a delicate sip of her tea. She frowned briefly and he saw Phoebe in her then.

  “The carriage accident that killed our mother and injured Bella also damaged my father. He could not cope with the pain and so he killed himself.”

  Surprise must have shown on his face.

  “That’s actually not the part that will surprise you, Levermarch. I suggest you brace yourself for this,” Will added.

  Livvy swallowed and then licked her lips.

  “When my father died, everything he owned went to our cousin who had no wish to support us; therefore, suddenly we were penniless and with debts we could not pay. Drastic measures were needed for us to survive and hold our heads high in the village we had always lived in, so Phoebe and I became highwaymen, or in our case, women.”

  The clatter of a carriage passing was the only sound in the room for seconds as Finn grappled to understand what Olivia had just told him.

  “We did not steal jewelry, or anything but money and we robbed a total of three carriages.”

  “This is the part where she justifies her actions.” Will laughed as Livvy thumped him on the arm.

  “The first was Will who was returning from India.” Olivia looked him squarely in the eye and Finn realized that this was where Phoebe got her strength from.

  “Quite a welcome home, as you can imagine.”

  Finn shot his friend a quick look before returning to Olivia.

  “The second was a man who lived in Twoaks, who was universally loathed by everyone and the third two old ladies who seemed to enjoy the experience so much they wanted us to take their jewels.”

  “I’m not sure I should admire you both for your actions, Livvy, but I find myself doing so.” Finn saw the relief in her as he spoke. Her shoulders lowered and the hand she had clenched on Will’s arm softened.

  Will snorted. “You’re far more forgiving than I, Finn. Livvy still bears the scar in her shoulder from Luke’s knife, where he tried to stop her from fleeing with my money. I nearly killed her with my bare hands when I finally dragged the truth out of her.”

  Finn climbed to his feet and shook Will’s hand and then returned Olivia’s hug. “Thank you for telling me, Olivia, and know your secret is safe with me. What

  you have told me allows me to understand Phoebe a bit more. I just pray now that she will forgive me.”

  Leaving the house he then made three other stops, before heading his carriage out of London for Twoaks.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Her night with Lord and Lady Lucas had passed swiftly. The elderly couple did not go into society anymore so Phoebe had filled them in on all the gossip and then they had all retired early. Rising early, she had said her goodbyes with the promise of seeing them on her return trip and now she was approaching Twoaks.

  Looking out the windows, she studied the familiar scenery, remembering a time when she and Livvy had ridden these roads late at night on horseback with masks covering their faces.

  The carriage rolled through the village and she waved to anyone she could see; all waved back. The Langley’s had been part of this village for generations. She felt the carriage cross the bridge and knew that soon they would pull up outside Willow Hall, her family home. Looking out the window as it neared, she could see no change since she was last here. All the change was in her. She’d left wide-eyed and excited to finally be having her first season and returned broken-hearted. She no longer wondered what it felt like to have a man hold her or have him feature in her every thought. She knew now, and with all her heart Phoebe wished she didn’t.

  As the carriage stopped, the front door was opened and out stepped Jenny and Freddy Blake, her family’s housekeeper and Will’s man of affairs. They had met and fallen in love and now they lived at Willow Hall.

  “Miss Phoebe!”

  Picking up her skirts, Phoebe ran into the waiting arms.

  “Why are you here? What’s amiss?

  “Let’s go inside and we can discuss this in comfort. I’m sure Miss Phoebe must be parched,” Freddy said, patting her shoulder.

  Jenny fussed over Luke and then ordered Phoebe’s bags to be taken up to her room by Freddy.

  “You’ll take tea, Luke?”

  “I have to see the family first, Jenny, so I’ll call by tomorrow. Will you be alright, Miss Phoebe?”

  “Of course.” Phoebe looked into his kind eyes and smiled. “Thank you for bringing me home.”

  “Twas an honor to do so.” He bowed and then was gone.

  Phoebe took off her outer clothing and then curled into her favorite chair. She was home; it was safe here. No more Finn to torment and judge her. Here, she could start to heal.

  They talked as she’d known they would. Jenny had been more than a housekeeper to the Langley family when they’d needed her most. She told them of her business and Livvy’s baby and that Bella was excited about her visit to Scotland. They did not question her, yet she saw them share looks which communicated what words did not. They knew she had a secret but did not press her for an answer.

  “And now I want to go for a walk before the sun lowers.”

  “Of course, and Freddy and I must pop out for a brief visit to old Mr. Hagley, as he has been poorly and we promised him, but we shall not be overlong. I’ll have Jane set your supper aside for you and we shall hurry back.”

  “Please take as long as you like. I shall return from my walk, eat my supper then fall onto my bed, Jenny. I am exhausted and an early night will be wonderful after so many late ones in London.

  “If you’re sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure, and there is plenty of time tomorrow to catch up.”

  Giving Jenny and Freddy a hug, she then left the house through the kitchens. She had walked these paths too many times to count. Letting herself through the gate at the bottom of the garden, she made her way through the woods and then started the climb up to the cemetery above. Walking along the rows of headstones to where her parents were buried, Phoebe then knelt between them and placed a hand on each.

  “Livvy is to have a child, your grandchild,” she said softly. “And I opened a boutique. Bella is soon to go to Scotland.”

  She talked until she had nothing left to say, telling them everything that was happening in their lives, and then speaking of Finn and the pain she felt. Only then did she place a kiss on each headstone before rising. Her heart may ache, yet being here was giving her a measure of peace. Perhaps she should stay here, not return to London. Surely if she never had to see him again then the pain would eventually go away.

  “Rest easy,” she whispered, rising to make her way back along the rows to the raised area where Will’s parents lay. She told them about the baby and all her news too, as their families were now entwined, before rising once more and heading for the bench that looked down over the village.

  Finn saw Phoebe as he walked into the cemetery. Placing the parcel he carried beside a headstone, he moved closer. The maid who had answered the door to Willow Cottage had said she left nearly two hours ago and he wondered if she had been sitting there the entire time. Her back was to him and she sat very still, almost as if she was not breathing. She wore no bonnet or coat and her hair had come down. The wind picked up several locks and whipped them around her face but she made no move to brush them aside.

  He walked around to the side and then started to climb to where she sat, so she could see him coming. He saw the moment she did, as her head started to shake and then she jumped from the seat.

  “Why are you here? Go back to London, Lord Levermarch. We have nothing further to say to each other.”

  Lifting her skirts she then stalked away from him.

  “Phoebe, wait!”

  She didn’t, of course, as he’d known she wouldn’t, so he ran after her, his long strides catching her before she reached the gate.

  “Stop, Phoebe. Please just listen to what I have to say.”

  H
e held her arm but she wouldn’t look at him; instead, her eyes were on the woods below them.

  “There is nothing you can say to me that I would want to hear, Lord Levermarch. Therefore, please release me at once and return to London and to Lady Croxley.”

  Her words were cold and flat. There was none of the wonderful emotion that was usually so much a part of his beautiful girl. He’d done this to her, hurt her so badly she had shut herself away from him. Finn felt panic grip him. How was he to make her understand why he had done what he had?

  “I’m asking you to listen to me, Phoebe, please. Just give me this one audience and then if after you have heard me out you wish me to leave, I will do so.”

  His voice sounded raw as he felt the desperation claw at his throat.

  “Speak then.”

  “I want you to sit on the bench and look at me while I talk.”

  She shook his hand free and then walked around him and back up the hill, where she seated herself on the edge of the seat, her feet touching the ground in case she needed to flee.

  Finn moved to stand before her and finally saw her face. She’d been crying; he could see it in her eyes. She was pale and tired and he wanted to hold her so badly he had to fist his hands to stop from reaching for her. She was hurting and vulnerable and he had done that to her, too.

  “When I first met you, I felt as if someone had punched me hard in the stomach. I told myself that if you were as beautiful on the inside as the outside I would offer for you that very day.”

  She didn’t show any emotion, her eyes staring off to the village below.

  “Then I realized you were outspoken and that marrying you would not be comfortable. You were everything I had always believed my wife should never be. You were right; I had made a list, and you were also right in stating that none of your character traits were on it.”

  “I believe this is old news, my lord.”

  God, she was cold.

  “I couldn’t get you out of my head. I used every excuse I could find for this and most of them were lies. I couldn’t get you out of my head because you had found your way into my heart, Phoebe. Too late I realized you were everything those other insipid women were not: full of life, outspoken, kind and generous. It is I who is lacking not you. It is I who can never hope to become the man you deserve, but the selfish man inside me wants to try.”