by Nicola Haken
“Stop sulking,” Jared teased playfully, kneeling down in front of me. The sound of his smooth voice was pulling me out of my bad mood whether I wanted it to or not, and I hated that he knew it. “Did you get my petal?”
“Yeah, cheapskate. Am I not special enough for flowers anymore?”
“We’re going to be together forever, saffy. Even the world’s strongest man would struggle to carry that many flowers.”
I glanced down at my body – amazed to see that it was still there and hadn’t in fact melted into a puddle of goo on the floor.
Refusing to let him see that I was thawing however, I stayed quiet and set my lips into a firm line. He breathed a small laugh at my petulance and then reached over to the chest of drawers beside us. I watched him curiously, still refusing to speak so I couldn’t ask him what he was looking for when he started fingering the contents of my knicker drawer.
His hand re-emerged with a packet of cleansing face-wipes and he stared intently into my eyes as he slowly pulled one through the hole.
“You don’t need all this shit,” he murmured, slowly smoothing the cold wipe across my cheek. “You’re stunning enough without it.”
I simply sat there and watched him – never taking my eyes of his as they wandered over my face. What in fuck’s name is happening to me lately? I feel so powerless with him. Jared was practically washing my face and I couldn’t do anything but gawp pathetically at him. Why didn’t I tell him to piss off? I can clean my own bloody face. But something about the way he was doing it - the tender strokes, the attentive look in his eyes… He entranced me. Again. Sometimes it feels like he has the power to control me completely and it both excites and scares the holy crap out of me at the same time.
I closed my eyes instinctively when he brought the wipe towards them. He wiped over the lids with gentle pressure before bringing it down the other side of my face. When I opened them again the wipe was gone, and he cupped the side of my neck with his hand as he began drawing slow circles under my chin with his thumb.
“You’re so beautiful, Rachel Mason,” he whispered before trailing his thumb up to my lips and sweeping across them. “Both here,” he laid a flattened palm on my flushed cheek, “and here,” he added, placing his other palm over my heart. My lips parted slightly but no words came out. “I got you some presents today.”
“Presents?”
“Wait there.” After rising lithely to his feet, Jared hopped out of my bedroom and returned seconds later with a white carrier bag. “When I heard you talking to someone I stashed them behind the cushions on the sofa.” He handed me a bag and my eager fingers snatched it away from him. It was the flash of pink silicone that gave it away before I read the description on the box.
“A Kissing Swan, huh?” I noted, teasing open the seal on the box and clamping my fingers around the bright pink vibrator. Pulling it out I stroked along the curves and gave the little clit-stimulating ‘lips’ a little flick.
“The Rabbit is so last year,” he said with a camp accent he was altogether too good at. “We’re going to undress now,” he commanded firmly. I almost wanted to laugh. Had he taken a peek at the copy of Fifty Shades Freed on my coffee table? “Then you’re going to suck my cock until I can’t take it anymore… and then I’ll give you your other present.”
“I think it’s polite to ask first,” I teased, playfully protesting.
“You wanted masterful, saffy… I can give you masterful.”
Kneeling in front of me again, Jared took hold of the hem of my hoody and teasingly worked it up my body before sliding it over my head. After smoothing his palms over the lace cups of my bra his fingers wandered to my back and deftly undid the clasp. Then he set straight to work on my jeans – hooking his fingers into the waistband, pinching my knickers too, and tugging them down as I raised myself up with my arms.
Next, he stood up, and for a few long seconds he let his hungry eyes gloss over my naked body from head to toe, biting on his bottom lip and letting a low moan escape. Never taking his eyes off mine he undressed himself. He shrugged out of his shirt first, his muscles flexing with the move of his arms, then he pushed his pants down until gravity took over, pulling them to the floor.
My heart quickened when he stepped towards me with slow, purposeful strides. He stopped in front of me, holding his proud erection in one hand. I knew what he wanted from me and the strangest part was, I wanted it too. I swear my mouth was salivating for him as I bent my head forwards and he uncurled his fingers from his cock, letting mine take their place.
He brushed the tip against my lips and my tongue instinctively darted out to circle the end of it.
“Take it all, Rach,” he ordered softly. I wet my lips and took him in my mouth, sucking softly as I took him all the way to the back of my throat. “Fuck yes. Just like that.”
He pressed his hands onto my shoulders to steady himself as I moved my head faster and faster. Every so often I would graze the sensitive groove below his head with my teeth, causing him to groan and twitch in my mouth. When I eventually slowed my pace, teasing him with slow, feathery licks, he pulled himself from the warmth of my mouth and smiled devilishly down at me.
“I can’t wait any longer. Time for your other present.” I stared after him, biting my lips as I admired the way his perfect arse cheeks tightened with every stride as he walked out of the room. My heart continued to race in anticipation until he returned to the room holding…
“What the fuck is that?”
“A sex wedge,” he announced proudly, setting the giant foam wedge on top of the mattress. “I Googled ‘sex after spinal cord injury’. You won’t believe the positions I’m gonna get you into using this little beauty. I’ve just had my turn, saffy. Now it’s time for yours.”
Some girls need flowers, chocolates and candlelit dinners to make them feel wanted. Me? Turns out all I need is a triangular lump of foam. Knowing Jared had looked into ways to make me feel good, ways to help us get physically closer and knowing that what I experienced during sex actually mattered to him, made me feel like the most wanted girl in the world.
Special. I’ve always detested that word. But in that moment, staring at the navy-blue wedge lying suggestively on top of my bed… I had never felt so special.
Jared scooped me in his arms and carried me to the bed before gently laying me on my stomach over the wedge.
“She’s called Cindy.”
“You named it?” I retorted, unable to stop the laughter filtering into my voice.
“Of course.”
“Why Cindy?”
“Cindy’s got a certain ‘porn star’ ring to it don’t you think?”
“Well maybe I don’t want to be bent over a Cindy, maybe I’d feel more comfortable being bent over a Mark or a Brad.”
“Well I’m not sharing a bed with anything called Mark or Brad, so you either get that fine body of yours acquainted with Cindy, or you’ll be brushing your own beaver tonight while I sleep on the sofa.” Words eluded me, so I just giggled and shook my head.
“Besides, I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to have two girls in my bed at the same time,” I couldn’t see his face but I could imagine only too well the delicious smirk it was sure to have on it.
So, there I lay, hugging Cindy with my knees bent, arse in the air -completely exposed to him. I’d never been in this position before and for the briefest of moments I felt a little embarrassed… until I felt him crawl up behind me and put his warm hands on my waist.
We stayed like that in perfect stillness for what must have been minutes. When he didn’t move or speak I started to wonder what the hell he was doing.
“What are you doing?” I asked breathlessly, every nerve ending in my body prickling in anticipation.
“I’m enjoying the view,” he answered, his voice deep and sultry. “Seeing you like this,” he continued, caressing the small of my back with his flattened palm, “is fucking beautiful. I’m committing this image to memory…
so the next time I’m alone, I’ll have the perfect image to get myself off to.”
I was expecting to feel him inside me at any second. My fingers gripped the sheets and I bit my lip as I impatiently waited for him to fill me. But then, a light buzzing flooded the air and I tensed, knowing where the sound was coming from but wondering what the hell he was going to do with it.
When the cool silicone brushed the sensitive skin between my thighs I couldn’t prevent the yelp that escaped.
“Like that, do you?” Jared asked – the satisfied smirk evident in the sound of his voice.
“Yes.”
Oh God yes.
He continued to torture me with soft strokes – the vibrations ricocheting through my entire body. Then, without warning he plunged the shaft of The Kissing Swan inside of me and I cried out his name, begging for him to take its place.
“Please, Jared…” I whimpered – begged.
“Please what, Rach? You don’t like this?”
“Yes. God yes,” I cried as he worked the pink silicone faster and harder into me. “But I…” My orgasm was building against my will and I didn’t want to come yet. “I can’t hold off much longer, and I want to feel you inside me when I come.”
“Fuck, Rachel… hearing you talk like that? Fuck.”
What felt like fire cascaded through my veins. My skin was so hot yet goosebumps still found their way to the surface when he removed his hands from my body and pulled the vibrator out torturously slowly. Next, I heard the familiar tear of foil and a few achingly long seconds later he scooted closer to me, grabbing my hips and nudging at my entrance from behind.
“This, Rachel…” Without warning he plunged himself deep inside me, making me cry out his name as I braced my forearms on the mattress for support “This is for you.”
This wasn’t lovemaking. It wasn’t slow and gentle. Jared pounded me hard and fast, hitting a deep spot I didn’t even know existed until my arms buckled from the sheer intensity as I exploded around his cock.
“That’s it, baby. Enjoy it. Enjoy it for me,” he rasped, only seconds before he juddered to a stop and collapsed on top of me. We lay, folded over the wedge for several breathless minutes before I summoned enough energy to speak. It lasted only minutes. It wasn’t romantic or sensual or an expression of love. It was a pure unadulterated, animalistic pounding and I loved every fucking second of it.
Perfect.
“I think that may well have just been the best moment of my life,” I announced breathlessly. Jared threaded his hands around my waist and in a nanosecond I was flat on my back with his body hovered over mine.
“That was just the beginning, saffy,” he breathed against my mouth before kissing it softly. “I’m just getting started.”
Chapter Seven
Jared
One month later…
“Do you need your spray?” I asked my dad when he started rubbing at his chest. Since his angina attack a few months ago we’ve all been on high alert.
“No. Stop fussing.” Well excuse me for giving a shit. “So this girl. Does she work?” Rachel and I have been officially together for a month now and I had come to my parents’ house to tell them about her. Rachel has mentioned them a few times and I think it’s her way of trying to wangle an invite. Truth is, I was nervous. My parents can be judgemental arse plugs, my dad especially, and so I wanted to come alone first to try and sound them out.
“She’s at university,” I answered.
“I see,” he said, sounding pleased with that answer. “Last year?”
“First.”
“How old is she?” And so it began.
“Nineteen.”
“For goodness sake, Jared she’s practically a child,” he grunted. I bit down on the inside of my lip until it really fucking hurt. It was the only way I could stop myself starting another one of our famous arguments. I didn’t have time for that today. “So what does she study? Law? Medicine?” I drew in a deep breath in preparation for his next rant.
“Art,” I muttered simply before biting back down on my lip while I waited for the response I knew I wasn’t going to like.
“Art? And what kind of profession does she expect to gain with a degree in colouring in?” he snapped mockingly. “Well I suppose you’ve found someone who strives to be as incompetent in life as you, my son. I should congratulate you.”
“Do not talk about her like that, Dad. She is one of the most intelligent girls I’ve ever met.”
“Because she can draw? Don’t be so ridiculous.”
“Dammit, Dad!” I shouted. “I should’ve known better than to think you’d accept her. I only came here because she wants to meet you. And stupidly I thought you might want to meet her too, because I’m your son and I fucking love her!”
Whoooooa….
I love her?
Do I?
Yes. Yes I do.
Who the fuck would’ve thought it…
“What on earth’s going on in here?” My mum interrupted, flying into the living room. “You’re… you’re in love?” she tacked on, clutching her chest like she’d just heard me announce I had a necrophilia fetish.
“Yes. I have a girlfriend. A girl who I’m madly in fucking love wi-”
“Language,” my mum admonished sternly.
“But it seems she’s not good enough for Dad here. Why, you may ask? Because she studies art. Oh and because she’s nineteen. Wanna know another little fact you’re not going to like? She’s in a wheelchair. Yep, that’s right. She’s a paraplegic.”
“A wheelchair?” she repeated like it was a dirty word. Funny, being a doctor I’d have thought she knew damn well what a wheelchair was.
“Oh wait, I almost forgot. She’s covered in tattoos and piercings and has hair brighter than a London bus. So go on, Mum… why don’t you get your disapproval off your chest too?”
“Jared stop this now. You cannot speak to us like that,” she scolded.
“Like I’ve just told Dad. She wants to meet you. But how the hell can I bring her here when you’ve already decided you hate her!”
“We don’t hate her. We don’t even know her,” my mum said, sounding surprisingly genuine. I felt my shoulders begin to relax.
Until my dad opened his mouth.
“I wouldn’t worry, Sue. He’ll have moved on to the next one soon enough.”
“You are unbelievable! Did you not hear me? I. Am. In. Love. With. Her!” I only realised it minutes before but now I knew… I was falling more in love with her by the second. “You know what, screw this. And screw you!”
Jumping from the sofa I started making my way to the front door.
“Jared, darling…” my mum said softly, putting her hand on my forearm as I reached for the door handle. “Just give him a few days to process it. Then… we would love to meet your girlfriend.”
“He doesn’t deserve to meet her,” I snapped but almost immediately softened. My mum was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She always has been with me and my dad. We’ve fought constantly for as long as I can remember and with her loving us both equally, she’s the one who suffers the most. “I’m sorry, Mum. I know you’re only trying to make the peace. But I’m sick to death of trying to please him. I’m a disappointment, a failure… I get it. I’m used to hearing it. But I will not have him saying those things about Rachel.”
“Rachel? That’s a lovely name.”
“She’s great, Mum. Really she is. I know she’s younger than me. I know she’s out there. She’s loud and confident… but that’s just her exterior. On the inside… on the inside she’s so strong. She’s beautiful, Mum, and I’m really, really serious about her.”
“But the wheelch-”
“Means nothing to me,” I cut in.
“I’m not judging her, Jared. Though I’m sure other people will.” Like the ignorant twat in there you mean… “And naturally living with any disability makes life more difficult. It’s a big commitment to make to someone. I just want to k
now you’ve thought about the long term”
“Yes, Mum. I have. But seriously when you meet her, you’ll see for yourself how strong she is. She’s completely independent – she wouldn’t let me care for her so to speak, even if I wanted to.”
“You know, darling… I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound so mature. If your new lady has got anything to do with this change in you, then I approve of her already.”
Wow. I think that is one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had with either one of my parents. Ever.
“Thanks, Mum,” I said sincerely, bringing her in for a hug. “I’ll call soon.”
“I’ve heard that before,” she said with a mocking smile. “Take care, darling.”
**********
Me: Let me no when ur home from uni. I need to talk to u
Rachel: Sounds ominous. Good or bad?
Me: Not sure yet
Okay so I was totally teasing her. Of course it was good news. I’m going to tell her I love her. Screw that… I’m going to make her dinner (alright so I’m going to order Chinese – same thing), then I’m going to kiss her, make love to her and tell her how much I absolutely fucking adore her. And hell, if she’s lucky I might even bring Cindy out to play.
Rachel: You’re acting weird. I don’t like it. Tell me now
Me: It needs to be face to face
Rachel: Gotta go. Late for class. Don’t fuck with me Jaz I’m nervous here
I planned to reply but was interrupted by a call from Mick wanting me to come into work for an hour to change some barrels. I couldn’t really say no when he’d let me have so much time off over Christmas, plus it would make the time pass faster until I got to pour my heart and soul out to Rachel. Yeah I know, I’ve turned into a pussy-whipped cheeseball.