Beneath the Shadows

by Sara Foster

  ‘No it doesn’t,’ Veronica cried. ‘Disorganised, maybe. Lazy, no.’

  Meredith smiled thinly and began to help herself to more potato salad.

  ‘How old is your daughter, Grace?’ Jenny asked.

  ‘Millie is fifteen months.’ Grace couldn’t help smiling as Millie’s petite little face came into her mind. ‘She’s developing a strong will of her own already – though she hasn’t started walking yet.’ She looked across at Liza. ‘How long till your baby arrives?’

  ‘Five weeks,’ Liza replied. ‘I can’t believe it.’

  ‘It changes your life, that’s for sure.’ Grace tried to catch Veronica’s eye for backup, and Veronica smiled but didn’t seem willing to comment. Grace fell silent again, feeling as though she had hit on an awkward subject.

  She was relieved that everyone’s attention moved next to Claire, who was roundly berated for planning yet another trip abroad, with no sense of, in Dan’s words, ‘long-term responsibility’. Grace had always been a little envious of big families, but as she listened she realised that they could be quite claustrophobic too – particularly if everyone decided to gang up on you and tell you how to live your life. Perhaps that’s what had happened to Ben. She looked at the mantelpiece clock. It was after nine and there was no sign of him. It didn’t seem as though he were coming – which meant that she had a long night ahead of her with the rest of his family.

  She had just finished eating when the conversation swung her way again. ‘So, Grace, how are you getting on with the cottage?’ It was Steve, Veronica’s husband, who had spoken.

  ‘Slowly,’ Grace admitted. ‘But hopefully things will speed up a bit, now all the festivities are out of the way.’

  ‘Meredith told me about her suggestion,’ he continued, and Grace recalled Meredith saying that he was a solicitor. She looked over to see that Meredith had her head tilted to one side as she listened, like a bird suddenly aware of an interesting morsel.

  ‘When people go missing the spouse can get tied into their property for years, even if it is in joint names,’ Steve continued.

  Grace tried to keep her face fixed as she said, ‘Yes, I’m aware of that…’ Her voice was hostile, and she avoided everyone’s gaze.

  ‘Meredith’s idea might be advantageous for both of you,’ Steve persisted. ‘And I’d be happy to find out what can be done legally. If you rent it to someone you know, you might avoid a few problems – particularly if Adam comes back and isn’t happy with the arrangement.’

  ‘That’s unlikely to happen now,’ Dan added as he ate, waving his fork in the air. ‘Sorry, Grace, but you don’t often find a missing person after all this time.’

  Grace was seething. How dare they casually discuss her decisions, her life, and her husband over dinner like this. She was on the verge of losing her temper, when the conversation moved on as though nothing had happened. Veronica started to reprimand one of their children for running around with their food. Jenny got up and began collecting plates.

  Grace met Claire’s eyes and saw her sympathy. Meredith was scrutinising her too, but as soon as Grace noticed, the older woman got to her feet and busied herself helping Jenny with the dishes.

  People began to leave the table, and Liza hurried from the room. ‘I’m going to check on Millie,’ Grace announced to no one in particular, and followed. At least if she could press Liza to talk to the police, this night wouldn’t be a total waste of time.

  However, by the time she reached the hallway, Liza was nowhere to be seen. Frustrated, Grace headed instead to the lounge and peeked under the pushchair hood, reassured by the sight of Millie’s peaceful face. She sat down, and was considering whether to rejoin the party or sneak back to the cottage, when she realised she could hear talking. It was coming from behind her, beyond a window that looked out over the front of the house. She wanted to move, but the curtains were open, and if she got up she would probably be seen in the lamplight. So she sat there uncomfortably, unable to avoid hearing what was being said.

  ‘Liza, listen to me,’ came a male voice. ‘You can’t stay with him. He’s an idiot.’

  ‘What choice have I got? I’m not asking for anything from you, so leave me alone – I can’t do this any more.’

  ‘We’re not doing anything, I’m just talking to you…’

  ‘You know exactly what I mean. It should never have happened in the first place. If anyone finds out… If Veronica -’

  ‘They won’t…’

  ‘They would suspect right this second if they opened the door. I have to get back.’

  ‘Liza, wait…’

  But then there was the sound of the front door opening and shutting, and footsteps hurrying along the corridor.

  Grace sat there, stunned. It was unbelievable. This family became increasingly complicated the more she knew of them. Surely Veronica would have some idea of what was going on right under her nose. She couldn’t live with someone and not know…

  Then she realised where her thoughts would lead, and cut them dead.

  There had been no sound since she heard the front door, and her anger had faded to resignation. There was little point in sitting here. She would go back to the party and at least try to see in the New Year.

  She had another peep at Millie, who was still soundly asleep, then headed back out. She was in the corridor, about to re-enter the dining room, when the front door opened.

  Steve looked at her in astonishment, but as he saw the look on her face, his eyes turned guilt-ridden. Grace could only hope that she did a passable job of feigning disinterest before she turned away.

  A few people asked after Millie when she returned. They had all moved across to the comfier seating, and as the wine flowed, most of the family gradually forgot Grace was there. At one point her phone beeped in her pocket and, collecting it, she saw she had a text from James.

  Looks like our friendship is finished.

  She would have been disturbed by it if she didn’t know him so well. He would have had too much to drink for the New Year countdown. Don’t be daft, she quickly replied. But after that she heard nothing more.

  When the clock read a quarter to eleven, Claire leaned over and said sadly, ‘I can’t believe Ben isn’t going to come.’

  Claire had seemed so hopeful that this evening might be a step forward for them all, and Grace felt sorry for her. ‘I’m sure he has his reasons.’

  ‘Yes, he’s as stubborn as Mum,’ Claire muttered.

  As the year met its final hour, the conversation began to turn maudlin. Veronica had eventually got her boys off to bed and appeared to be determined to make up for the drinking time she’d missed. She was lying on the couch with her head propped against Steve’s thigh when she said, ‘I can’t believe this is the first New Year without Dad.’

  ‘I know,’ Claire agreed. ‘He did love a good knees-up.’

  ‘He loved the idea of a party,’ Liza said with a smile, ‘but let’s face it, often by this time he’d be exactly like Jack…’

  They all looked across. Feathery Jack was slumped in an armchair, his head lolling forward over his chest as his body rose and fell rhythmically.

  ‘Not on New Year’s,’ Meredith said. ‘That was different.’

  Grace turned with the others towards Meredith, who had hovered between the kitchen and the dining room all night. She had kept on the outskirts of the conversation, and yet the girls hadn’t noticed. They treated this place as though it belonged to them, and their mother like she was part of the furniture. But Grace had the feeling that Meredith was the glue that held them all invisibly together.

  Grace felt a rush of sympathy as the older woman stooped to collect some empty glasses. She got up and went across, determined to make an effort.

  ‘Can I help you with anything?’

  Meredith abruptly straightened. It was as though she had been lost in her own world and Grace was interrupting her. Lamplight bounced off her eyes and made them appear moist, but perhaps it was just a
trick of light – after she moved, all Grace could see on Meredith’s face was the emotionless expression she was used to.

  ‘I’m fine, Grace,’ she said, ‘but thank you for asking.’

  ‘Mum… Grace…’ came Veronica’s voice from across the room. ‘Steve’s going to do first footing. No reason why we can’t keep up Dad’s tradition. Dad always made a big deal about it,’ she explained to Grace. ‘We had to go outside before twelve, and then follow him back in after midnight.’ She glanced at her watch. ‘In fact, we’d better get on with it.’ She got to her feet and whipped a whisky bottle from the table in the corner, then picked a lump of coal out of the fireplace. ‘Mum, what else do we need?’

  ‘I’ll get the rest,’ Meredith said, and left the room. Veronica surveyed them all sitting there. ‘Come on, everyone.’

  ‘What’s all this about?’ Grace asked Liza as they began to haul themselves up.

  ‘First footing is meant to bring luck to the house. A tall dark man has to enter first after New Year, and bring gifts – whisky for good cheer, coal for warmth, bread for food, salt for flavour, and a coin for prosperity. Mum and Dad did it every year.’

  As they made their way towards the door, Claire asked, ‘What about Jack?’

  ‘Leave him,’ Veronica said. ‘He won’t even notice.’

  They filed down the corridor towards the front door and Grace followed them. Outside, Veronica gave Steve the whisky bottle and the coal, and Meredith gave him a loaf of bread and a pot of salt. She looked at the others. ‘We still need a coin.’

  Dan held out a coin, his stance, hand on hip, clearly indicating his contempt for the proceedings. Steve juggled the other items in his arms to receive it. Then they gathered around, and Claire looked at her watch and counted down the seconds.

  ‘Three… two… one… Happy New Year, everyone!’

  Grace had expected lots of hugging and kissing, as would have happened in her family, but instead, after a few choruses of ‘Happy New Year’, Dan piped up, ‘All right then, back inside – hurry up, Steve, it’s bloody freezing.’

  Steve walked towards the front door, twisted the handle and pushed, but nothing happened.

  ‘It’s locked,’ he said. He put the items in his arms on the ground, and tried it again, first with one hand and then with both, rattling it.

  ‘Let me see.’ Meredith sounded annoyed. She shook the handle, but it didn’t budge.

  Grace began to shiver. Please get the bloody door open, she prayed.

  Then she heard a long, piercing scream.

  At first she thought it was one of Jack’s screeching owls, but as it came again, she registered the familiar pitch of it.

  ‘That’s Millie,’ she shouted, charging towards the door. ‘Get the bloody door open NOW!’

  34

  Grace barged in front of Meredith, grasped the door handle and shook it hard, but it wouldn’t budge. She looked at it in a panic, mind and heart galloping together.

  A hand grasped her arm and she instinctively shook it off. ‘Grace,’ Claire shouted, ‘this way, come on.’

  They charged along the side of the house to the back, flinging the door open. Grace raced through the dimly lit kitchen, into the corridor towards the lounge. When she reached the room, she paused in horror.

  In the muted light, a shadowy figure stooped over Millie’s pushchair. As he straightened, Grace saw that it was Feathery Jack, and he held Millie in his arms. Millie’s small face was panic-stricken. Grace rushed across and snatched her daughter.

  ‘What the hell is going on?’ she demanded, fright becoming fury in an instant.

  Jack appeared confused as he looked from Grace to Claire. ‘Ah heard the bairn skrikin’,’ he said.

  Millie began to cry hysterically and Grace tried to shush her. She whirled around, her only aim to get away from this house, but her escape route was blocked by a crowd of worried faces.

  ‘What happened?’ Veronica was asking.

  ‘She must have had a nightmare or something,’ Claire said.

  Grace could feel all their eyes fixed on her, burning into her, bringing her close to screaming herself.

  ‘Poor little mite,’ Liza murmured. ‘Will she be all right, Grace?’

  ‘She’ll be fine,’ Grace replied through clenched teeth, ‘but I think I’ll take her home.’

  She walked across to try to put Millie back in the pushchair, but Millie clung tight and sobbed harder. Grace attempted to soothe her, rocking her gently back and forth.

  ‘Bit of a bad omen, that, isn’t it, us all sprinting round the back,’ Dan commented. ‘I think you were the last-footer, Steve, not the first,’ he chuckled.

  ‘Rubbish,’ Meredith said. ‘This’ll be Timmy, up to a bit of mischief, no doubt.’

  Grace’s blood ran cold at the idea of a ghost child in here alone with her daughter on the stroke of midnight, while she stood locked outside with this strange family. A spike of fear shot through her. ‘I need to take Millie home,’ she said. ‘Now.’ Her voice came out low and strange. ‘Let me out.’

  No one moved, everyone just kept staring, but then Claire’s kind face appeared in front of her. She held Grace’s arms as she said gently, ‘I’ll walk you home.’

  ‘Can you take the pushchair?’ Grace asked, and then headed towards the door, holding a shrieking Millie tightly to her. Everyone parted to let her through, but no one said a word. She avoided their eyes, making her way quickly outside and onto the road. The cold hit her like a blow as the darkness enveloped her, and she hurried down the hill. The light was on in the pub, and she used that as a guide. They were almost at the cottage when she heard footsteps behind them.

  ‘Is Millie all right?’ Claire asked breathlessly as she caught up.

  Grace had Millie cradled against her, but the little girl had gone quiet now. Grace nodded and didn’t speak further until they were at the cottage gate. ‘Thank you for bringing the pushchair. You can leave it by the porch – I’ll put Millie to bed and then I’ll come back for it.’

  She didn’t wait for a response, and hurried upstairs to settle Millie in her cot. The little girl rolled to face the wall without a sound. Grace watched her sleeping for a while, wanting to make sure she was all right, but Millie didn’t move again. By the time Grace headed back downstairs, she was both relieved and exhausted.

  She went to collect the pushchair, to discover that Claire was still hovering in the garden.

  ‘I wanted to check you were both okay.’

  ‘Really, we’re fine,’ Grace replied wearily.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  Grace took in Claire’s earnest face. This woman was a Blakeney – and she wanted little more to do with them after tonight. But Claire had always seemed different, and Grace felt a sudden need for company, so she found herself saying, ‘You’re welcome to stay for a drink if you like. Then I have to get to bed.’

  Claire followed her into the lounge.

  ‘Tea or something stronger?’

  ‘Tea is fine.’

  Grace made the drinks, then they sat down. Claire fiddled with the handle of her mug for a while before she looked up. ‘I feel I should apologise for my family…’

  Grace shook her head. ‘Perhaps I’m overreacting – my head’s a bit all over the place.’

  ‘Well, at least take no notice of the Timmy comments. He was a bit of a joke among us when we were little, but Mum really believes in him – she gets extremely irate if we push her too far on it.’

  ‘Well, maybe she’s right. Maybe he does exist, and he scared the hell out of Millie tonight.’

  Claire seemed astonished. ‘Do you really believe that?’

  Grace ran a hand over her face. ‘I didn’t. If you’d told me a few months ago that I’d be talking seriously to somebody about seeing ghosts, I would have laughed. But since I’ve been here, I’ve been dreaming of black dogs, hearing spooky stories everywhere, and standing in front of a clock that appears to choose when it stops and starts… I
don’t know any more…’

  ‘But Grace, there are perfectly reasonable explanations for those things… The clock might have a fault. And perhaps the dreams about black dogs are happening because you’ve made them significant, so your subconscious keeps throwing them back up again. All the ghost stuff is just hearsay. Until you see some incontrovertible evidence for yourself, don’t believe it.’

  Grace smiled at her. ‘You’re probably right.’ She hesitated. ‘You’re different to the rest of your family, Claire. More…’ She wasn’t sure how to finish.

  ‘I’m hoping you’re going to be the first person ever to say normal,’ Claire chuckled, indicating her piercings as she did so. ‘These usually make me stand out for a start. But I am very different to them. I think Ben and I have more trouble hiding our feelings than the others. And there’s so much going on in our family that I’d rather not know about. You’ll have to excuse Jenny, for a start. She’s all bitter and twisted at the moment because Liza is pregnant. Jenny would love a family, but she had to have an emergency hysterectomy a few years ago. She’s trying to live with it, but she doesn’t do a great job at times… She’s had a tough time of it lately, anyway – she was always Dad’s baby and it hit her particularly hard when he died. No doubt she’s envious of you having Millie – I remember her having a bit of a crush on Adam when he lived here. She always used to tag along when I went out for a sneaky cigarette with him. It annoyed the crap out of me, I quite liked him myself.’

  Grace smiled, still having trouble picturing Adam as a chain-smoking teenager.

  ‘My role in the family is primarily as the dumping ground for everyone else’s stress and problems,’ Claire continued, ‘most of which, if not all, are self-inflicted. You can see why I like to go on long trips away…’ Claire smiled as she said it, but her underlying frustration was clear. ‘And what about you, Grace?’ she asked. ‘What are your plans now?’

  ‘I have no idea.’ Grace sighed. ‘I’ve only been on my own here for a couple of days, and it feels like everything is getting on top of me again. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to see this out. I’m normally pretty strong – I don’t know why I’m struggling so much…’