Breaking the Reins

by Juliana Haygert

  My body shook with fury, and I fought the urge to argue with him. But I pushed it back and told it to wait. I would let the anger out, but not in front of others. Mr. Nash had to leave at some point, and I would confront Eric. Bringing a buyer to the ranch, which wasn’t and would never be for sale. What was he thinking?

  I heard hooves crunching hay and whirled to find Argus still in the corner. However, the strawberries were gone.

  ***

  Eric left when Mr. Nash did, and without talking to me again. Which was good. Sort of.

  But he did message me right after his car was out of sight.

  I’ve got a game soon. I’ll be back later.

  I erased the message, wishing that I could erase the memories from my mind with a simple button too.

  Soon, Jimmy showed up and we talked about Argus while we prepared the horses for the upcoming riding group.

  “You ain’t gonna give up, are you?” he asked, hauling Black Jack and Chip out to the arena.

  I grabbed Dakota’s and Belle’s reins and guided them out too. “I don’t want to, but I’m lost. I don’t really know what to do other than be patient with him. However, being patient means time, and we don’t have it.”

  “I don’t think waiting for him to come around is wasted time.”

  “Me too, but still, it’s precious time,” I said. We tied the horses’ reins to the fence. “What other options do we have?”

  He turned to me, a don’t-kill-me-please expression over his battered face. “Call Mr. Fernandes and ask him to keep helping you?”

  I sighed. “I can’t do that.”

  Jimmy tsked. “Then hire another experienced horse whisperer? Or send Argus to one?”

  Surprisingly, my heart squeezed and I frowned. “I don’t know.” One corner of Jimmy’s lips turned up. “What?”

  “With all the effort you made to stay away from every other horse, I thought it would take longer for you to care about this one.”

  “I care for all horses,” I said too quickly, busying myself by checking on Belle’s saddle.

  Jimmy nodded. “Well, it’s not that kind of caring I’m talking about.”

  “He’s a mistreated horse, and I’m just helping him.”

  “Once he’s fixed, what are you going to do with him?”

  My hands froze over the stirrups, realizing I had never thought about it. What would I do with Argus once he was well? Put him up for adoption? Return him to animal control so they could find him a new home? I guess I never really envisioned Argus leaving the ranch and that was … disturbing.

  Images of Hercules, so beautiful and powerful in his exuberant black form, flashed in my mind: running around this arena, riding with me to the waterfall, jumping with me in tournaments, lying on the ground under the shade of a tree and wanting me to lie over him, to take a nap after a tiring day.

  My heart tugged. I still loved him way too much, and there was no room in my heart for another horse.

  Once Argus was well again, I would find him a new home.

  I opened my mouth to tell Jimmy that when cars drove up the road, their engines too loud for my taste, and parked beside the stable. The riding group had arrived, and I was allowed to keep my troubled feelings to myself.

  Jimmy and I helped them settle on their horses, and once they left, I straightened up the stable in silence, while Jimmy fed the remaining horses. He opened the lazy Susan feeder from Argus’s stall and the horse neighed. I put away the bridle I had been holding and observed them.

  Argus was in the same corner, snorting and hitting the ground with his right hoof. He was agitated and I wondered why. There were no loud noises, no rain or thunder, no danger.

  “Calm down, boy,” Jimmy said, one of his hands raised, the other holding a bucket of grain. He placed the bucket on the lazy Susan and closed it.

  Once more, Argus neighed.

  I went to stand beside Jimmy. VIP seating to one of Argus’s inexplicable tantrums. Perhaps Jimmy was right. Maybe I should try to find a real horse whisperer to help Argus.

  Argus and his agitated state kept going for at least another thirty minutes, and, as expected, he didn’t eat anything.

  The group came back after almost two hours out. They helped Jimmy and I take the equipment off the horses, take the horses to their stalls, and put everything away in the tack room.

  After everyone left, including Jimmy, I went inside the main house and dashed to my bathroom. I wanted to take a quick shower, change, and go to the hospital. I had been talking to my mother often, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to be there for her and my father. I wanted to hear news from the doctor, even if it was only to tell me my father was still in bad shape.

  I opted for jeans and another checkered shirt and boots. Why should I dress up to go to the hospital and just sit there? Besides, other than cutoff shorts and tank tops, this was my preferred outfit.

  I stepped out of the house and found Leo’s SUV in the parking lot. He slipped out of the car, wearing his official Montenegro uniform, his wet hair framing his perfect face. Apparently, he had come from a game. And he came here without showering? I didn’t get it.

  He walked up to me but remained down the porch steps.

  “What are you doing here?”

  His thumb twisted the black band on his ring finger. “You always go to all of his games, but you weren’t there this afternoon and I was worried. As soon as the match was over, I rushed here.”

  My heart lurched. He still worried about me. I shook my head. “You had a game against Eric?”

  “Yes.”

  Oh crap. I was afraid of asking who won.

  I climbed down the steps and started walking past him. “You shouldn’t have come.”

  Leo groaned. “Can I be worried about you?” I shook my head, but didn’t stop my path to my car. “And how about Argus? Can I be worried about him? I want to know how he is doing.”

  I paused to dig my car keys from my purse. “He’s fine.”

  “That sounds like bullshit.”

  I turned to glare at him. “Did you come here to accuse me of something?”

  He approached me, his eyes doleful. “You know why I’m here, morena.” He reached to me, and I was about to step away when I saw the purple Douglas Iris in his hand. He placed it behind my ear, his fingertips lingering on my face.

  I crossed my arms and tilted my chin up. “What about Megan? She was very excited to tell me about you two.”

  His hand dropped to his side. “Porcaria. Okay. Listen to me.” He ran a hand over his hair. “I’m sorry about that. I was upset, I was frustrated, and I wanted to get back at you. I knew she would tell you right away, and at that moment, I wanted you to hurt as much as I hurt when I see you with that jackass.” He closed his mouth, and his jaw popped.

  “Leo—”

  “Wait, let me finish,” he interrupted me. “I thought I could pretend to date her for a couple of weeks, but I don’t like her. At all. You know that. I haven’t talked to her since that night.” He tilted his head. “I hope you don’t think I’m a jerk.”

  My gaze flicked to his mouth, but I forced myself to focus and stared into his eyes. I could see longing in there, mingling with hope and desire. I wondered what mine told him. I bet he could see straight through me and see my desire.

  “A little,” I teased, but in truth, relief coursed through me. “Seriously, though. You shouldn’t have come.”

  As if to prove me right, Eric’s car entered the property. He zipped down the road and parked his car beside mine in record time.

  My heart beating unevenly, I distanced myself from Leo.

  Eric exited his car with eyes clouded by rage. Like Leo, he was sweaty and dirty and smelly, and still wearing his team uniform.

  He marched toward us. “Mr. Fernandes, what a surprise seeing you here.” He placed his arms over my shoulders.

  “Mr. Fernandes came to check on Argus. He heard the horse was having problems and thought he could give me som
e advice.”

  “Really?” Eric asked, through gritted teeth. “That’s generous of you, Mr. Fernandes, but we’ve got it covered. If Hannah needs any advice about that horse, she asks me.”

  Touching the black band on his finger, Leo frowned. “Of course. I guess I was too focused on helping an abused horse that I forgot you have a lot experience with horses too.”

  “Exactly.” Eric squeezed my shoulder.

  Leo’s eyes met mine briefly, but enough for Eric’s fingers to dig into my skin.

  “Thanks, Mr. Fernandes,” I said, trying to fix this situation before Eric jumped at Leo’s throat. “I’m sorry for your wasted trip here, though. Like Eric said, we’ve got it covered.”

  “I see,” Leo said, his jaw popping in and out. “Good evening.”

  He simply whirled around and hopped into his SUV without waiting for a reply.

  Eric’s fingers on my shoulder stirred me to the house. We heard Leo driving away as I opened the front door.

  Sensing his anger, I wiggled free from Eric’s hold once we stepped inside, and rushed to the other side of the living room.

  Eric banged the door closed and puffed, his rage pouring from him.

  Clenching his fists, he growled and launched at me. What the …? Fear crawled up my spine. I snapped out of it and ran across the hallway, and into the kitchen, but he caught up with me half a second later. His arms hooked around my waist and pulled me to him. I yelled, jerking as much as I could, but he was too strong. With my back glued to his chest, he held my wrists across my stomach.

  “What was that Latin scum doing here?” he asked. I whimpered and that encouraged him to yell, “What was he doing here?” I yanked from side to side, trying to break free of him. “Stop fighting,” he whispered in my ear, and I flinched. “Stop. Fighting.”

  I did. I knew I wouldn’t win right now and I didn’t want to waste all my energy on futile escape attempts. Tears welled in my eyes.

  “Good girl.” His grip on my wrists loosened a tiny bit. “What was he doing here?”

  I took a deep breath, willing my nerves to calm down. “What he told you. He found out about Argus and wanted to help.”

  Eric scoffed. “And you believed him? You aren’t that blind, baby. You know why he was here.”

  I shook my head. “No, Eric. That’s the only reason I know.”

  With fast movements, he spun me around and pinned me to the wall. “You know what pisses me off the most? I was just at a game with him, and he rushed here the second it was over. I didn’t know where he was going, of course, but I saw him running off the field. And while I was having a pep talk with my team, he was here, flirting with you!”

  “No, no,” I muttered. “Not flirting.”

  Eric pulled my hair back and I yelled in pain. "Do you know why I was having a pep talk with my team? Because I lost,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m out of one of the most important tournaments in the country because of that Latin scum. I LOST!” He punched the wall, missing my face by mere inches. I winced, letting out a sob. “Do you know how hard I worked to get where I am? How many sacrifices I had to make? How many ……?” He shook his head. “Mark my words, I’m going to wipe the winning grin off their faces one way or another.” He growled before resting his forehead on mine. One of his hands curled around my waist, painfully, while the other traveled up to my neck.

  For a moment, he seemed to focus on me and his anger abated.

  And that was my cue.

  I kneed him in the groin. Surprised, he crouched, and I ran to the back door.

  My hands were shaking, and it took me a couple of precious seconds to finally unlock the door and run out. I had reached the steps off the back porch when I was yanked back—one of Eric’s hands on my upper arm, the other in my hair——and dragged into the house.

  “Eric, let me go! Let me go.” I yelled and jerked and tried to kick him again, but this time he was prepared. He held me tighter each time I tried to get away, or deflected it whenever I tried to hurt him.

  He pulled one of the kitchen’s chairs from under the table and pushed me down on it.

  “What the hell are you doing? Eric, what the—?”

  My head whipped to the side. Pain exploded on my cheek. My vision darkened. The chair wobbled. I was sure the blow had hurt not only my face, but my neck too. I pressed my eyes and lips closed, trying to swallow the pain and tears.

  Oh good gracious, what the hell had just happened? Because I was certain that what I thought ensued couldn’t have actually occurred.

  It just couldn’t.

  I pressed my hand to my face, as if it would stop the pain, and noticed my cheek was wet. I was crying.

  And just like that a sob shook through me.

  And another.

  And another.

  His hand curled over my chin, his fingers digging into my stinging skin, and he pulled my face to his. “You are going to be a good girl. You’re going to behave. You’re going to do whatever I tell you. And right now I’m telling you: SHUT UP!”

  I whimpered.

  Eric released me and paced the kitchen, his fists clenched, his shoulders tense, and his eyes radiating anger.

  Who was this man and what had he done with my boyfriend? I was watching him and, besides the physical resemblance, there was nothing else familiar about him.

  Nothing.

  With a sudden movement, Eric knelt beside me. He ran his fingers up my arm and caressed my neck. “I love you, baby, and I know what’s best for you. I want to take care of you. Let me take care of you.” I gaped, sure I heard him wrong. “I love you, baby. So much.” He traced his fingertips over my cheek, where he had slapped me. “I’m so sorry.”

  I couldn’t respond to that. My mind was blank, completely in shock.

  He looked at me with remorseful eyes. “I’m so, so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand, but you made me angry. I ……” He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He kissed my forehead, and I jerked back. Pretending he hadn’t noticed my reaction, he retreated a step. “To show you how much I love you and how sorry I am, I’ll make us a romantic dinner.”

  A tear rolled down my cheek. My life was falling apart, and I had no idea how to fix it.

  I stayed in the chair, wallowing in my pain and sorrow, while Eric fixed us dinner.

  I squinted at him as he broke a few eggs into the frying pan.

  What happened to the man who had just laid a hand on my face? He was gone, replaced by the same loving Eric I knew, the one who looked at me with dopey eyes and did everything to please me.

  Just like that, he looked more like a dream than a nightmare. In appearance, he was still handsome, with his perfectly cut dark hair and blue eyes, fair skin and strong build. In addition, he had a killer smile and loads of charm that no one could resist.

  I didn’t resist him.

  Not at first.

  Eric turned off the stove and approached me. “Come on,” he said, turning my chair to the table. He brought the frying pan and the plates to the table. “I added lots of pepper, the way you like it.” He smiled and sat beside me.

  I stared at my plate, unsure what to do.

  He gently caressed the back of my hand with his fingertips. “Baby, try it. I’m sure you’ll like it. Please.”

  A new tear fell down my face. I took the fork and grabbed a forkful of omelet. Perhaps, if I pretended nothing had happened ten minutes ago, it wouldn’t be true. It wouldn’t happen again.

  I hoped.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Eric barely left my side for the rest of the week. Fortunately, he didn’t hit me anymore. But he still hurt me. With his strong grip when pulling, pushing, squeezing, or simply touching, his harsh words, his gestures, his looks, and his threats.

  Mostly the threats.

  The worst moment was when he caught me trying to feed Argus one evening.

  “Strawberries for the broken horse? Are you crazy?”

  I placed the handful of st
rawberries on the stall’s lazy Susan and turned to Eric. “I think he likes them.”

  “Who cares?” He stared at Argus. “You shouldn’t have brought this animal here in the first place.”

  “I didn’t bring him here. Animal control did.” He should have known this, because I had told him before, but apparently, lunatics were self-centered.

  “Same thing.” His face twisted in disgust. “Look at him. All those wounds and scars. Atrocious.”

  Obviously agitated with Eric’s surly tone and posture, Argus neighed and reared.

  “Easy boy,” I whispered, holding my hands high, palms facing him.

  “I want him out of here.”

  I whirled to Eric. “What?”

  “You heard me. I’m leaving in two days for the tournament in Switzerland. When I get back, I want this horse gone.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  Fists clenched, he towered over me, making me lean my back over the stall door. “Do I look like I’m joking? We are selling this place, you will quit college, you will accept my marriage proposal, and we’ll be married by the end of the year.”

  “You can’t make me.”

  “Watch me. I've indulged you long enough. It's time you get your priorities straight.”

  “You’re cra—” The words died on my tongue when he gritted his teeth and raised his fist.

  I sucked in air, preparing myself for the punch. Instead, a hard bump from my back rattled Eric and me, causing Eric to lose his footing and lower his arm. Argus neighed and kicked at the door again.

  “What the fuck?” Eric shouted.

  After that, I spent a long time calming down both animals.

  The only relief to my troubled mind was the fact that Eric hadn’t tried to sleep with me. Shudders broke through my body each time I thought he would try something. I couldn’t bear the thought of him touching me like that and I was dying inside thinking it was only a matter of time until he came on to me.

  How would I defend myself then?

  On a Friday afternoon, Eric went to the club to watch the last game of the tournament—according to him, he needed to know who won the championship—and I took advantage of the quiet time to spy on Argus.