“Thank you, Axel, I appreciate your help, once again. It’s sad that I can’t help myself but you have been there for me; so, for that, thank you.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Anytime, Samantha, anytime.”
I start walking out and turn to see Ma sitting next to Sam as she digs into a bowl of pasta.
I make my way to the car and head home. The closer I get to the building, the more adrenaline I feel. Camaron, yeah Camaron, is getting his ass kicked tonight.
I park outside our building and try to calm down before I storm into the prick’s apartment and beat him to a bloody pulp. I slam my fist against the steering wheel and get out of the car. Keep calm, Axel, you cannot kill him, he is your business partner and a friend.
I keep reminding myself that I will not kill him, but I’ll make him regret whatever he did. I take the stairs two by two and pound on the door.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
“Open up the door, you fucking prick!”
BANG. BANG. BANG.
“Camaron, open this fucking door!”
I am about to bang again when Camaron opens the door, rubbing his face.
“What the fuck, Axel?”
I push my way past him and make my way inside. “What the fuck did you do?”
“Dude, calm the fuck down! What the hell is your problem?”
“Samantha, what the fuck did you do to Samantha?”
I look at him and the exhaustion he just had on his face is gone, the color is gone, he is white as a ghost.
“I didn’t do shit, man. What the hell?”
“She is gone, man. She left here about a fucking hour ago and you didn't even try to fucking stop her? What the fuck is your problem? She is supposed to be your friend. When she left here she was fucking crying and looked broken.” I walk closer to him, now in his face. “What the fuck did you do? Tell me now, Camaron, before I break your fucking neck.”
Camaron is staring at me like I just killed his puppy. “What the fuck do you mean she is gone?”
He backs up and runs to her room. “Fuck!” I hear drawers slamming and I walk in and see what the fuck he is doing. He is going crazy, throwing drawers, stomping through her closet and throwing shit all over the floor.
“Dude, I told you she fucking left. What the fuck did you do?”
“I didn’t do shit! Back the fuck off, asshole!”
He is pacing back and forth rubbing, his head and mumbling. I look over to see what might have happened. What the fuck did Roni do to her? There is nothing but all the shit on the floor now that Camaron tore it apart and her bed that looks like it was just fucked in.
NO . . . NO, THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED.
I take a second look at her bed and flip the fuck out. I mean I fucking lost it. I see Camaron’s black Two Pricks shirt on her bed with fucking cum on it.
“You fucking asshole! You fucked Roni in her bed? Are you fucking serious?”
Out of nowhere, Roni is standing in the doorway.
“He didn't fuck me in her fucking bed, asshole.”
Camaron and I both turn and Camaron loses his color again.
“Well, if he didn't fuck you in her bed, why the fuck would Samantha have packed her bags and left?”
“The bitch is gone? Hell yes, now my night just got better.” I turn and look at the skanky bitch and am about to ream into her but then it hits me.
“You fucking asshole.” I run at him and take him to the ground. “You fucked her, you fucking asshole you, fucked her!” With each word, I hit him in the fucking face. “You are the most selfish fucking bastard I have ever fucking met. You destroyed her, you cocksucker! YOU FUCKING DESTROYED HER!” Camaron pushes me off him and stands up only to cover his face as Roni is clawing at him.
“You fucked her? You fucking touched that fat cow? You fucking bastard.” I stand there for only a moment because he deserves the fucking scratches to his face, but I can’t stand there for long because this chicken head is not going to talk about Samantha like that.
I grab her around her waist and put her on the bed. “You shut the fuck up! You will not fucking speak about her like that again, you fucking slut. If you do, you will regret it.”
“Oh, what are you going to do, Axel? You gonna hit me?”
I laugh at this bitch, I do, I laugh right in her face. “Oh, hell no, I don't touch trash, but, Carrie, she will make sure you have permeant scars, bitch, so just sit here and don't fucking speak, do you hear me?”
I look over my shoulder and Camaron is gone. I storm out and find Camaron sitting at the kitchen table. His head hanging and his hand is holding a towel of ice to his face. I guess he could hear me coming into the room.
“I fucked up, Axel. I fucked up, man.” I grab the chair across of him and control myself not to fucking punch him again.
“What the fuck, man? What the fuck did you do? Why the hell would you fuck her? What’s that?” His head is still hanging and he is staring at a piece of white paper. He looks up at me and I wince. I really did give the prick what he deserved. He has two black and blue eyes, his nose is definitely broken, he has a busted lip and blood is streaming from his nose. I look back at him and I see that he has tears in his eyes. Guy rule #2: you never cry in front of another guy, unless it’s absolutely necessary. Rule #1: you never mess around with a friend’s girl.
“Man, I fucked up. I lost my best friend. She really is gone, she isn't going to come back. What the fuck do I do, Axel? Help me, man, how do I fix this, man?”
Camaron hands me the letter that Samantha left him and when I read it, I want to fucking punch him again. “What the fuck, man? What the fuck did you say to her that she thinks you’re disgusted and that she wasn't good enough for you?”
“I fucked up. I couldn’t look at her. I love her, man, I really do, but I couldn't look her in the eye.”
I stand up and push the fucker off his chair.
“You treated her like a fucking whore, is that what you are saying? You treated her like one of your fucking slut buddies. Get the fuck up, Camaron!” Once again, my attention is now distracted by the blonde skank Barbie running into the kitchen.
“Calm the fuck down, Roni,” I say as I block her from Camaron. I’ll be the one to cause him pain not her.
“I thought you loved me, Camaron? Oh yeah, you are a fucking liar, you scumbag. I am so glad I was fucking around on you too, you dickhead. You and your small cock is nothing I am going to miss. You are such a prick! Don’t you ever speak to me again, you fucking liar!” Then she storms out of the apartment and Camaron drops to the floor.
“I said, ‘I love you, Roni.’”
“What the fuck do you mean?”
Camaron looks up at me again holding the letter in his hands like it’s a lifeline. “Sam told me she loved me; I was exhausted and buzzed and I said, ‘I love you, Roni.’ I broke her, Axel, I fucking broke the one girl who has always been there for me. I fucking destroyed her!”
I stand over him and shake my head at him.
“Yeah man, you fucked up.” I walk out and go to my apartment. I am going to call Ma and check on Samantha, make sure she is doing okay.
I am sitting here on a stool at Ellie's counter. She put a huge delicious bowl of pasta in front of me, with a large glass of lemonade and sat next to me. There were no words spoken, we just sit there and enjoy a nice bowl of pasta. When we were all finished, I wait for the questions to come, but once again I am surprised to see that she took the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, wiped up the counter and then handed me my suitcases and led me to her spare bedroom. I walk in and see white walls covered in bold colors. Art fills each wall; you see pyramids and sand on one, while the other is painted with blues of the ocean and a boat with waves crashing down on it, in the upper corner there is a compass the same compass that Axel has tattooed on his pec with the quote that reads: “Through the rough waters, I will find my way home.” This must be the room Axel stayed in when he was with them. I walk in and see a shelf hanging over
a desk and in front of us and a twin bed against the wall to my left. Ellie walks in and points to the bed.
“You relax for tonight, dear. No thinking—that’s a rule. Your bathroom is right next door, fresh towels are under the sink.” She walks over to me and I look down and see her smiling up at me. She takes my hand in hers and says, “You are going to be okay, baby girl. Ma is here and we are going to get you back on your feet. No worries, okay?” I nod at her with tears in my eyes. “No tears, baby girl, not tonight. Tonight, you are going to block everything and everyone out. You are going to shut your mind off, okay?”
I smile down at her and wipe the tear that has trickled out of my eye. “Yes, ma'am.”
With that, Ellie leaves and closes the door. I walk over to the desk and see a calendar from 2001 with scribbles and drawings scattered all around it. Yep, this is definitely Axel's room. I look at the shelf; there are six pictures in small frames. The first two are pictures of Mr. and Mrs. Martinelli, along with a young Axel. The third picture is of Axel building the deck that is off the back of the house. He must be around 15 or 16 and damn, he was even cute back then. He doesn't have any tattoos or piercings, yet, but he still has those gorgeous eyes. I am shocked to see that fourth and fifth pictures are of Axel holding a certificate in front of a rehab center. What the hell is that all about? The last picture is a small photo that you would get from the photo booths. This is of him and a beautiful young woman with the same piercing eyes. Axel is looking up at her with admiration and she is smiling right back at him. It looks like a perfect mother and son moment. I wondered what happened to that to have him living with the Martinelli's. I yawn and realize that I’m exhausted. I crawl under the covers and snuggle into a ball. I just want to escape but I am also so afraid to be alone. It doesn't take long before my eyelids are heavy and I am asleep.
I am awakened by Ellie as she opens the blinds and blinds me with the morning sun.
“Rise and shine, baby girl. It’s a new day and a gift that has been given. Come on, silly girl, get your ass out of that bed. Chop chop . . . up and at 'em.”
I moan and try to cover my head with the pillow. “What time is it?”
“It is 6:15 and the birds are chirping. Up and at 'em, baby girl.”
It feels like I just went to sleep I just wish that I could sleep a little bit longer. “Don’t just lay there, sweet pea, it’s time for breakfast. I would like eggs, so let’s get you up and about. Don't make me use the bottle.”
I look up and see her standing there holding a bottle of water. “What in the world is that Ellie?”
I am up and my feet are on the floor. She is laughing at me now. “Oh this, this is how we had to wake up Axel. That boy never wanted to rise and shine. Tony was a marine and expected us all to wake up at the crack of dawn. Poor Axel, he could never seem to get in the habit, so Tony started to spray water on his face; that woke him up real fast. Especially because we kept the bottle in the refrigerator, it was always cold.”
I can’t help but laugh, the way she tells the story, she is so animated you just feel the love that she holds for both of her men.
I follow her into the kitchen and she opens the refrigerator and grabs some eggs, ham, and peppers. She snags the frying pan as well.
“Ellie, is there anything that I can do to help?”
She looks at me and smiles. “Well, of course dear, you could make me breakfast. I would love an omelet.” She chuckles and nudges me towards the food that she laid out and the stove. “Oh, let me go put on some music so we start the day off right.”
I am expecting some Elvis or maybe some Ella Fitzgerald to start playing but instead I hear Naughty by Nature’s “OPP” filling up the house. To top it off, Ellie comes walking into the kitchen singing, “Are you down with OPP, ya you know me.” She is shaking it across the kitchen and grabbing the orange juice and glasses.
“What are you laughing at young lady?”
Smiling at her, I can’t help but laugh. “I just never would have expected you to being jamming to Naughty by Nature this morning.”
“What did you expect?”
Still laughing, I tell her, “Maybe some Elvis.”
“Oh, baby girl, these boys are super talented. Just listen to them, yep, brilliant minds right there.”
I giggle and crack the eggs into the bowl so I can start chopping the peppers.
“Lesson number one is complete, you can’t assume anything about anyone. Because when you expect something from someone you are only let down when they don't do or care like you expected they would.”
I stop chopping and turn and see her writing in a tablet. “Lesson one?”
Ellie looks up with the biggest smile on her face. “Oh yes dear, lesson one.”
“I don't understand.”
“Baby girl, there are certain lessons that help strengthen us. One of those lessons is not to assume or expect others to act or feel a certain way. When you can accept that you become a little stronger.”
I grab the plates that Ellie has pulled out and place our omelets on them; she has two glasses of orange juice already poured and waiting at the table. We eat in silence and I am still thinking on what she said.
“You may be right on that, Ellie. I really have to stop expecting people to be and feel a certain way.”
With my head down, I think about last night. I think about how I expected Camaron to love me, to make love to me. I wanted him and he did what he thought I needed to fix our friendship, but he really didn’t want me. He didn't feel that for me, but he did it because I wanted him to. When he didn’t make love to me, when he didn’t look into my eyes, my spirit was broken. He didn't break my spirit, I did because I expected him to love me in a way he couldn’t.
I feel Ellie grab my hand and I look over at her and see sadness looking back at me.
“Sam, you, my dear, are a very strong and beautiful woman. Don't you roll your eyes at me, you are. Yet, when I look at you, I see that you are lost; you are not confident in yourself and you are looking for someone to validate you, you are looking for someone to make you whole. But, you know what, baby girl . . . no one can do that. You need to be the one to find yourself and fix what is broken. I don't know what happened last night, you will tell me when you are ready; until then, we get you stronger, dear, you hear me?”
I nod as tears stream down my face.
“Good darling, now wipe those tears and let’s get this cleaned up as we have a ton of things to do.”
I take the plates to the sink and start to wash all the dirty dishes, a moment later the phone is ringing and Ellie is handing it to me. I look up at her with worried eyes, I feel like I may lose my breakfast, because if it’s Camaron I can’t talk to him, not yet. “Sam, it's Axel, go ahead and take the phone, I will finish these.” I wipe my hands off on the dishtowel, take her cordless phone and walk into the living room before saying a word.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, Samantha. I see Ma has you out of bed already. Did she say ‘up and at ‘em’?”
I can hear him laughing to himself.
“Yes, she did, actually.” I laugh along with him and for a brief moment it feels really good.
“Well, I was just calling to see how you were doing this morning and if you needed anything that you may have forgotten.”
“I think I have everything, thank you, Axel. I just need to get a game plan together and get back to California.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Not sure, I really haven’t had time to get ticket prices. I mean it’s early, my brain isn't functioning yet.” I laugh at myself once again and then tell him with such confidence. “You would be happy to know that, even though I can't function, I have completed lesson one.”
“Lesson one, nice.” He now is really laughing.
“What’s so funny, Axel?”
“Oh, Samantha, you won’t be leaving any time soon.”
“What do you mean? I’ll look up the information this mo
rning and when I get the tickets, I’ll call a cab and be on my way back to my home.”
“No, sorry, Samantha, not gonna happen. Remember when you asked me about my tattoo; the STRENGTH tattoo.”
“Yeah.”
“I told you that I found my strength at Ma's house with Pop. He saved me and he taught me to find my strength. He, too, had lessons that I had to learn; now, hopefully, your lessons aren’t like mine or you will be building decks and pulling tree stumps out of the ground.” He laughs like he is remembering each lesson. “If Ma has already started with lessons, baby, you will be there for a few weeks. Just saying”
I have no time to respond as Ellie now is coming into the living room saying, “Okay, Sam, can I talk to Axel now? Say goodbye we have tons to do.”
“I have to go now, thank you so much for everything, Axel.”
I am met with laughter once again on his end. “Anytime Samantha, anytime. Tell Ma I said to go easy on you.” With that, he hangs up and I hand the phone back to Ellie.
“Axel said for me to tell you to go easy on me.”
Ellie starts laughing and shaking her head. “He is a funny one that one. Now, let’s go get ready for our walk.”
“Our walk? I thought that I would look up the airlines to see when I can get a flight back to California.”
“Pssh, non-sense, baby girl. You will stay here until you are ready.”
“Until I am ready? Ready for what?”
“I'll explain all that to you during our walk. Go on, chop chop . . . let’s get ready we have so much to do.”
The shop is at an all-time high tension rate right now. I walked in and tried to make it like nothing was happening, it didn't last long as soon as Camaron walked in beat up and looking like hell and the pricks knew something was up. He had Carrie cancel or give off his appointments since he couldn’t function today. After that, all the red flags were waving; because I gave Samantha time off to write, no one suspected anything that she wasn't at the office. Yet, when I was going over after care to a new client, I saw Carrie staring at Camaron who was just sitting down on the couch staring at his phone.
Guided Love (Prick #1) Page 17