Isle of Fright

by Annie Kelsey

  So I tried a new joke.

  I wrote: What do you call a three-legged donkey?

  I passed Sophie the note and she read it, then I scribbled the answer and flicked it across the table.

  That was when the trouble started.

  Mr Bacon saw the note and glared at me. “Pippa!” He looked cross. “Why are you and Sophie passing notes?”

  “Sophie’s not passing notes,” I told him quickly. “Just me.” How could I explain that I was trying to make her smile? Only Catie was supposed to know about my secret mission.

  But Mr Bacon kept frowning. (I think long division makes him cross, which isn’t surprising. Long division is horrible.)

  “Sophie!” She turned pink as he called out her name. “Read out Pippa’s note so everyone can hear it.”

  In a wobbly voice, Sophie read it out loud. “A wonkey.”

  Mr Bacon looked confused. So I explained. “It’s a joke.”

  “Not a very funny one.” Mr Bacon frowned.

  He was totally wrong. “It’s funny if you hear the first part!” I grabbed the other note from Sophie’s side of the desk but Mr Bacon interrupted before I got a chance to read it.

  “Please stop bothering Sophie with jokes and concentrate on maths.” Then he threw the piece of paper in the bin. I felt terrible. I hadn’t been trying to bother Sophie. I just wanted to make her smile. But I’d embarrassed her. And now I couldn’t tell her any more jokes.

  After maths, Mr Bacon gave us each a list of what we’d be doing on the Isle of Wight. “We’re visiting Seaview World on Friday afternoon,” he explained as he gave me my list.

  He gave a list to Julie. “On Saturday, we’re visiting Carisbrooke Castle.”

  Then Julie threw up on his shoes.

  While I watched Julie barf, I thought two things at the same time:

  Poor Julie!

  Is this a ghostly omen?!

  It could be the spirit world sending a warning. Why else would the words “Carisbrooke Castle” make someone sick?

  Mr Bacon sent Julie straight to the office so the school secretary could look after her and phone her mum. While he was rinsing his shoes, Jenny told us that Julie had woken up feeling poorly but she insisted on coming to school so she didn’t miss any pre-trip gossip.

  Julie looked really pale as she left the classroom. She has to feel better tomorrow. She can’t miss the trip. That would be even worse than throwing up on Mr Bacon’s shoes.

  Here’s the list of places we’re going to visit:

  1. Seaview World Wildlife Park

  I wonder if animals have ghosts? If they do, I might detect hundreds! Imagine an elephant ghost! Or a tiger ghost!

  2. Carisbrooke Castle

  Yep - a real-life castle! Whoop! Whoop!

  Mr Bacon says King Charles was held prisoner there by the Roundheads before they chopped his head off. He didn’t explain why the Roundheads chopped his head off. Perhaps the king was a Squarehead?

  ANYWAY.

  According to Marcus Flaunch, ghosts mostly appear in places where there’s been violence or sadness. I bet being a prisoner must be really sad, especially if you’re about to have your head chopped off. I bet the king’s ghost visits a lot.

  3. The Ultimate 4D Cinema Experience

  I won’t be able to hunt ghosts in a 4D cinema. It’s too new to be haunted. I bet it’ll be ages before someone chokes on their popcorn or dies of fright during a film.

  Mum must have finished cooking. The wok has stopped making sizzling noises. And the smoke’s starting to clear. Dinner time!

  GHOSTS DETECTED: 0 (GHOST OMENS: 1)

  SMILE METER: K

  Friday, 7 a.m.

  I have been dressed in my jeans and Tiffany J hoodie for, like, an hour. I’m waiting for Dad to fetch me. He’s taking me to the coach at school. It leaves at eight a.m. Mum’s wandering around like a zombie downstairs.

  In her nightie, with her hair all fuzzy from sleep and no make-up, she looks a bit like a ghost. When I went to get some toast, she dropped the coffee jar on the kitchen floor. It sort of exploded and there were coffee granules everywhere. They made a really satisfying crunching noise when I walked on them.

  Mum told me to eat my toast in my room while she cleared them up.

  I’ve texted Dad four times to make sure he hasn’t overslept. His flat is only a mile away so it won’t take long for him to get here, but when I stay at his place, he likes to sleep late. Even on Saturdays. Sometimes I think he doesn’t realize that Saturday is the best day of the whole week. Who wants to sleep through it? I always make sure I wake him up really early so he doesn’t miss any of it. I hope he’s not sleeping late today.

  My phone’s buzzing! Squeeeee! That must be him replying.

  YAY! He’s awake. But his spelling is still sleepy: AWKE. ON MT WAY. BE THER 15 MNS. He really needs to use autocorrect more.

  I am so excited. Sitting still is really hard. I’ve checked my bag four times. I’ve definitely remembered the midnight-feast sweets and my ghost-hunting equipment. This is going to be my first overnight school trip. We are going to have SO MUCH fun! And I’m going to find a ghost. I just know it. Can’t write any more. Too excited. Going to watch out of the window for Dad…

  On the coach

  DISASTER! Julie’s still sick and SHE CAN’T COME ON THE TRIP!!!!

  Jenny texted Catie this morning and Catie texted me.

  I can’t believe it. Poor Julie. It must be the worst thing that’s ever happened to her! (Apart from throwing up on Mr B’s shoes.)

  Me and Catie and Jenny have promised to take pictures of everything so we can show her when we get back. We could do a presentation, like we’re scientists explaining the solar system, with maps and diagrams and explanations and everything so she doesn’t feel like she’s missed anything.

  We were first on the coach and we took pictures of our seats so Julie could see them. I sat next to Catie and took a picture of her, but Mr Bacon came and said (in his quiet voice like it was a secret), “Pippa, would you mind sitting with Sophie? It might be nice for her to make a new friend. I want her to feel that our school is welcoming, and if anyone can make her feel welcome, Pippa, it’s you.”

  That was SO SWEET!

  AND it meant I finally had a chance to talk to Sophie! I could put my Make Sophie Smile plan into action properly. I wondered if I should try out the other jokes I’d learned. Then I decided NO. Last time I tried, it didn’t work out very well. (Oh no! What if I’ve put Sophie off jokes FOR EVER? What will she do at Christmas? Crackers will never be the same!)

  Catie moved to the seat behind me, next to Jenny, which was great because Jenny was feeling lonely without Julie. I think she’s worried about not having Julie with her. Jenny and Julie do everything together because they’re twins.

  The only things they don’t do together are:

  1. Judo.

  2. Clarinet.

  3. School projects. (Mr Bacon makes them have different project partners.)

  4. Eat carrots. (Julie hates carrots and Jenny loves carrots. On days when they wear the same outfit, the only way to tell them apart is to say “carrots” and see which one smiles and which one pulls an icky face.)

  I kept the space next to me free while the rest of the class filed past and found their seats. Then I spotted Sophie. She got on the coach last and looked super-sad. So I waved at her and called to her to sit next to me. She just shrugged and squeezed in beside me with her rucksack.

  She’s still hugging her rucksack now. I tried asking her about the trip - I asked if she was excited and she said no. Then I asked her if she was looking forward to going to Carisbrooke Castle and she said no. So I said she MUST be excited about the 4D cinema and she said no. So I tried asking her about non-trip-related things.

  Other things Sophie said no to:

  • Do you have any hobbies?

  • Do you have any brothers and sisters?

  • Do you have a favourite TV programme?

&n
bsp; • Do you like pizza?

  SHE DOESN’T LIKE PIZZA! I didn’t dare ask her about chicken nuggets.

  If she’d said no to chicken nuggets, my heart might have broken.

  So I decided to stop asking her questions and told her about my pink pig pyjamas instead, but she just mumbled and kept looking at the seat in front.

  Poor Sophie! She’s on the world’s most exciting trip and she’s sad.

  I’ve decided to stop bugging her so I can write my diary. Writing might help me come up with a new plan.

  Everyone else is fizzing with excitement. Jason and Tom are playing catch at the back with Darren’s rucksack and Mandy Harrison is talking a hundred miles an hour to Ms Allen, while the rest of the class are chattering to one another. Everyone is smiling, except Sophie. J

  Yay! Mr Bacon has just told us we can start eating our packed lunches even though it’s only nine o’clock. Perhaps eating will cheer Sophie up.

  Nope, food doesn’t work either. I offered Sophie one of my breakfast crisps. (Having packed lunch for breakfast ROCKS! I want peanut butter sandwiches and crisps every morning now.) But Sophie said no. She said she doesn’t like salt and vinegar. I can’t imagine not liking salt and vinegar. It must be awful. What does she put on fish and chips? Dad sometimes has ketchup on his chips, but that’s AS WELL AS salt and vinegar.

  Poor Catie had sushi for her breakfast. I nearly died of shock when I leaned over the back of my seat and watched her open her lunch breakfast box. It was full of rice swirls and little fishy lumps with cucumber on top.

  I offered her one of my sandwiches, but she said she liked sushi. Which is totally weird after I’ve introduced her to chicken nuggets. She still doesn’t understand good food. Perhaps if she tries one of Dad’s pizza face dinners (we make pizzas with topping faces - pepperoni for eyes, pepper slices for hair, sweetcorn for freckles … etc.) she’ll finally realize that you don’t HAVE to enjoy stuff like sushi because there are much yummier things to eat.

  I checked out Sophie’s breakfast too. She had:

  Three cheese triangles.

  A packet of cheese puffs.

  Four cheese crackers.

  A lump of cheese.

  Perhaps that’s why she’s so sad? I like cheese, but if I had to eat it all the time, I’d feel pretty cheesed off. J Then I imagined her family, all eating cheese.

  SOPHIE’S MUM: Dinner’s ready!

  SOPHIE: What are we eating?

  SOPHIE’S MUM: Macaroni cheese.

  SOPHIE’S DAD: Can I have extra cheese on mine?

  SOPHIE’S MUM: Of course! And don’t forget, there’s cheesecake for pudding!

  Perhaps Sophie hates cheese but her mum and dad make her eat it ALL THE TIME. Like when my mum decided we should eat more turnips. She put turnips in everything: stew, spag bol, curry. She even served them mashed, with sausages.

  IT WAS HORRIBLE. I thought I’d turn into a turnip!

  Luckily, she got bored of them and we went back to normal food after a week. But the Turnip Days scarred me for life. I still feel queasy when I see turnips in the supermarket. I think I may have turniphobia.

  I just asked Sophie if she likes turnips. She said no. Then she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye like she was sitting next to a crazy person. I guess it might have seemed like an odd question because she didn’t know I’d been thinking about turnips. (Imagine how much easier conversations would be if you knew what the other person was thinking. Being a mind reader would be great! Actually… NO! Mind reading would be TERRIBLE! I have enough trouble listening to everything I think. Imagine if I had to listen to other people’s thoughts too! I’d probably explode. But I wish I could read cats’ minds. I’ve always wondered what cats think about.

  And dogs. And otters. I bet otters have the cutest thoughts. Like, “Shall I float on my back and let my tummy get dry?” or, “Wow, this fish tastes even better than I expected.”) So I asked Catie and Jenny if they liked turnips, just to make it seem normal. They don’t like turnips either. (I must remember to tell Mum that NO ONE likes turnips, just in case she goes turnip bonkers again.)

  The coach is whizzing along a motorway. Catie and Jenny are making bracelets while I write in my diary. Sophie’s playing a game on her phone.

  SAD NEWS!

  I feel a bit sad because Mr Bacon just told us who we’ll be sharing rooms with. I’m sharing with Sophie. Catie’s sharing with Jenny. K I was SO looking forward to sharing with Catie. It was going to be like a three-night sleepover.

  But I’ll have plenty of time to make Sophie smile. When she sees my pink pig pyjamas, she HAS to smile. They are the best.

  Mr Bacon promised that our room will be right next door to Catie and Jenny’s. That’s quite exciting. We can invent a code and tap messages to each other through the wall just like spies.

  Pippa’s Secret Code

  1 tap = hello

  2 taps = are you awake?

  3 taps = yes

  This is harder than I imagined. Me and Catie usually have a lot more to say to each other than “hello”, “are you awake” and “yes”.

  I know! Dad taught me a code ages ago. His granddad used it when he was a prisoner of war in World War II. He was locked up in a big wooden hut with lots of other prisoners and at night they weren’t allowed to talk so they used to tap messages to each other on the sides of their bunks, or on the walls if they were in different rooms.

  Great-Granddad Morgan’s Code Grid

  Number of knocks

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  1

  A

  B

  C

  D

  E

  2

  F

  G

  H

  I

  J

  3

  K

  L

  M

  N

  O

  4

  P

  Q

  R

  S

  T

  5

  U

  V

  W

  X

  Y

  You read across, then down, to find the right letter. So one knock followed by four knocks is 1 across, then 4 down, which is P.

  My name is 1+4, 4+2, 1+4, 1+4, 1+1.

  There’s no room in the grid for Z, but I guess Z can share the Y box. We’ll just have to remember that:

  Zou = You

  Zellow = Yellow

  Zummy = Yummy

  Zucky = Yucky

  This is going to be brilliant. I will make grids for Catie, Jenny and Sophie RIGHT NOW!

  Catie and Jenny were super-excited when I gave them their grid. They couldn’t wait to try out our code. They’re practising now by tapping on their sandwich boxes. I was hoping Great-Granddad’s code would cheer Sophie up, but she just said thanks when I gave her the grid, then stared at it for a minute, then looked out of the window. Perhaps she thinks it’s too hard. It is kind of hard to begin with. I’ll explain it to her later when we’re off the coach. She’ll love it when I show her how easy it is.

  She might even smile. That would be perfect! Especially if I found a ghost straight after.

  GHOSTS DETECTED: 0

  SMILE METER: K

  Later

  The hotel is fab! Our room has a high ceiling and big old windows and its own bathroom. This building has to be haunted. It’s so old! And there are miles and miles of corridors and stairs everywhere. If I was a ghost, I’d definitely want to hang out somewhere like this. When I wasn’t floating along hallways, scaring guests, I’d hang out in empty rooms and order room service. I could float through the walls. And bounce on the beds without ruffling the sheets. Awesome sauce!

  I have to write this quickly. We’re just dumping our bags in our rooms before we have lunch and head off to Seaview World. Me and Sophie have got bunk beds and when I asked her whether she wanted to have the top bunk, she said, “I don�
��t mind.”

  Yay! I got the top bunk. I’ve never slept in a bunk bed before. It’ll be like sleeping on top of the world! I’ve climbed the ladder six times already. Catie came in to see our bunks. She and Jenny are next door and they’ve only got ordinary beds. I told Catie she has to sleep in the one next to the wall so we can use our secret code even after everyone else is asleep.

  Imagine if we’re sending coded messages and a ghost starts knocking on the wall! It could send us all kinds of messages about what it’s like to be dead. Do ghost eat and drink? Can they see other ghosts? There are so many things I want to ask a ghost:

  Can you fly?

  Can you float through walls?

  What do you think about smartphones and TVs and cars and computers?

  Can you speak, or just make scary woooooooo noises?

  Can you go anywhere in the world? (Imagine flying to India or Japan! Or perhaps they don’t fly. Perhaps they just imagine where they want to haunt and then go there. Or perhaps they are stuck in the place where they died.)

  Ms Allen’s calling us. (She’s going to be sleeping in a room at the end of our corridor. The boys are all on the floor underneath us with Mr Bacon.) Gotta go eat lunch. Hotel food! I am SO excited. I wonder if it will be like the food on Mastercook?