Unstitched

by Jacquie Underdown

  Leith looked me square in the eyes. ‘I miss her, Brendt. I’m going to try and win her back.’

  All went silent and the air in the room became glassy. I stood, breathing deeply in the icy shards, every muscle charged, and walked back out. I marched into my boss’s office and said, ‘I quit.’

  Chapter 4

  Anthea

  I arrived at City Hall with Sabine before time. I felt beautiful when I stepped into the venue, but my stomach was a knot of nerves. This needs to go off without a hitch.

  I had spent the entire morning primping myself for the occasion: painted nails, ringlets and a retro band of diamantes in my hair, along with the most stunning dress of red satin, deep plunging at the front and back, that skimmed down my thighs to meet my new three-inch-high silver Jimmy Choo’s.

  Angela Barnes was Martin and Marshall’s biggest client. Tonight was one of her major fundraisers and, by far, the biggest I’d ever been in charge of.

  I glanced over the expansive auditorium, the result of all my hard work. There were thirty round tables, each set for ten guests with crisp white linen and shiny tableware. The centrepiece of every table was a dozen blood-red roses that billowed from ornate gold vases. Each chair was white with gold brocade. Bundles of candles set on ostentatious gold candelabras crowded against the walls, while the entire ceiling space was strung with winking fairy lights, reminiscent of a star-dotted night sky.

  It was romantic, magical, everything I intended and yet so different from how I left it, because now it had laughter, expectation and animation. Yesterday, it was still lonely in anticipation of nearly three hundred guests to breathe life into it.

  Sabine smiled. ‘Holy shit, Anthea. You’re a bloody genius.’

  I grinned, the knot in my tummy slowly loosening. ‘Thank you.’ My job was my art. This room my canvas. And my mind, the endless contractors, props and equipment, were my pallet. This space was a tiny representation of my soul and to have it accepted and loved by others reaffirmed that there was a part of me that was beautiful and loveable, too. I craved these moments like an addict craved cocaine, because when my seeming soul was appreciated, my constant yearning stopped, albeit ever so briefly.

  Angela spied me from across the room and waddled over. She was an enormously successful property developer: mid-fifties, peroxide blonde hair and oversized, botoxed lips. She wore the most exquisite silver beaded gown, and expensive jewellery dripped from her wrists and neck. As well as being M & M’s biggest client and, not to mention, my favourite, Angela had the kindest heart.

  ‘Anthea, darling,’ cooed Angela, as she kissed each of my cheeks, smothering me in dense plumes of expensive perfume and hairspray fumes.

  ‘Mrs Barnes, you look stunning, as always.’

  ‘You’ve done such a wonderful job tonight. The use of roses and candles is simply fabulous. Well done.’

  ‘Thank you so much.’

  Angela narrowed her eyes and frowned. ‘So where’s this date of yours? Leith, was it?’

  My stomach curdled at the mere mention of his name. I’d forgotten he was my date for tonight. I glanced sidelong at Sabine, then back to Angela. ‘Ah, Leith couldn’t make it. He’s not feeling well.’

  ‘Oh well, dear. Never mind. Perhaps I’ll get to meet him next time.’

  ‘Yes, next time. I hope you have a successful evening, Mrs Barnes.’

  ‘I’m sure I will. Please enjoy yourselves tonight, ladies.’

  Angela noticed someone else she knew and fluttered away, leaving behind a mist of glitter and eccentricity.

  Sabine hissed. ‘Fucking Leith.’

  I rolled my eyes and grinned. ‘Imagine if I told her the truth — sorry, Angela, but Leith’s a complete arse-wipe and was only with me as long as it took to get into my pants and win himself a tidy sum of money.’

  Sabine laughed. ‘I think she’d enjoy that.’

  ***

  All the guests had arrived. They were sipping champagne and nibbling canapés. The band was rocking it — bellowing out songs that had the guests singing and dancing. I looked upon the stage at Lucas and his band. He was dressed in faded ripped jeans, heavy black boots and a black t-shirt. My heart warmed with gratitude for him helping me out at such late notice.

  Soon enough, Angela took to the podium and the formal processions began — speeches, an auction, and a five-course banquet. By midnight the majority of guests had moved on. Sabine had left early, leaving me behind to wrap up, but I was stuck, like a foot squelching around in sticky mud, chatting with Reese Spencer, a recently divorced solicitor. He was round, not tall enough and definitely too old for me. I wanted to brush him off, because he was plastered and gawked way too much at my breasts, but he approached me and I have the hardest time being rude to people. Yes, even overzealous perverts like Reese.

  ‘I thought on a whim, I need a new car. So I went out last weekend and bought one of those new Range Rovers,’ he said.

  I had heard those cars were highly overpriced and impractical. ‘That’s nice,’ I said, glancing down at my watch. ‘Look, Reese, it’s a pleasure to have met you tonight, but I really must be getting home.’

  ‘Yeah, it’s black, shiny. Handles real well. Not too good on the fuel, though. But who really believes in that global warming bullshit anyway? Maybe I could pick you up tomorrow and take you for a spin?’

  I fidgeted, searching for the exit. After Leith, the last thing I needed was this guy, whose wife had recently left him and had taken the kids, and was in the midst of an eye-gouging divorce. ‘That’s a flattering gesture, but I’m sorry, I actually have a boyfriend and he wouldn’t approve of that.’

  Reese swallowed a mouthful of his straight scotch. ‘I’m up for a challenge.’ His eyes dragged from my hips to my breasts, where they lingered for just enough time to make me shiver and want to cross my arms over my chest. ‘You look like you could use the services of a man, a real man. I bet your boyfriend isn’t much of one,’ he said, eyes still not making their way back to my face.

  I rolled my eyes but resisted turning away in a huff because, damn, he made my heart sigh with sympathy for that part of him that was most obviously lonely and insecure.

  ‘He is man enough for me. Thank you for your attendance tonight, Reese, but I must be heading off. I’ve an early start tomorrow.’

  I searched the room for an escape route, for someone to rescue me. I saw Lucas on the stage, kneeling to unplug some cords from the back of an amplifier as tall as me. Lucas lifted his head, as though sensing my gaze, and captured my eyes. I stumbled back one pace as I sucked in a ragged breath. His outward appearance was not what I remembered. I’d only ever seen him this close-up through a drunken haze and it was clear my shady memories did not do him justice.

  ‘I’ve an early start tomorrow as well,’ said Reese. ‘No rest for the wicked. But I feel like the night is just starting. Maybe we can have a nightcap back at my penthouse?’

  I managed to drag my attention away from Lucas and catch my breath. ‘Reese, I —’

  ‘Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt,’ Lucas’s sexy-as-hell voice, ‘but the rest of the band and I need to get going soon, and I’ve a few questions for you, Anthea, about that matter we were discussing earlier.’

  Reese folded his arms over his chest and glared at Lucas, eyes storming darker.

  ‘Of course. It’s rather important we talk about that thing before you leave.’ I swallowed hard. ‘Very important.’

  Reese sighed, smiled weakly. ‘It was great to meet you, Anthea. I better leave you to it.’

  ‘I enjoyed meeting you, too.’ Not.

  Then it was only Lucas and I facing one another. I was drawn to the flawlessness of his beautiful, light coffee-toned skin and his eyes. Holy shit, they were the most unusual shade of green, with striking grey flecks, and lined with the darkest eyelashes. Guys should not have lashes like that. It simply wasn’t fair. His deep brown hair was grown out and hung untidily in loose waves around his ears and neck —
so rocker-bad-boy.

  But most appealing was his stature: wonderfully tall, with a broad chest and strong limbs. The type of height and raw masculinity that made my tummy flip and legs shake, because you couldn’t help but feel completely safe and, concurrently, dominated by a man like that.

  With Reese a decent distance away, I gathered control over my brain and mouth and managed, though my voice was weak, to say, ‘Thank you so much for that, Lucas. I now owe you twice.’

  He smiled, two perfect dimples etched into his cheeks. No wonder I stopped to talk to him at the Cloud Bar. He was divine — not a euphemism; he literally looked like he was cast down from Heaven to corrupt any woman lucky enough to lay eyes on him with deliciously wicked thoughts.

  ‘No worries at all. I kind of overheard your conversation. Thought you might need some help. He wasn’t taking no for an answer. You weren’t telling the truth about having a boyfriend, were you?’

  I shrugged a shoulder and grinned sheepishly. ‘It was a lie. Not that it did anything to stop him.’

  ‘So you say you owe me thanks twice? What’s the second time for?’

  ‘You got me out of a tight spot at work, agreeing to do this gig tonight. You may’ve even saved me my job.’

  He arched a brow. ‘Is that right? Glad to be of service, even if it is inadvertently.’

  ‘Thank you again. You were brilliant. I received many, many compliments on your behalf.’

  He smiled and I had to steady myself.

  ‘I had a fun night. So thank you, too.’

  I opened my mouth, but made no sound. I shook my head and looked away, cheeks blotched with warmth.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked

  I laughed, hiding my mouth with my palm. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know why, but I feel like I know you.’ I stared at my feet, unable to hold his eye contact and certain he must be thinking I was cracking on to him. Am I cracking on to him? My collarbones tingled; no doubt they were flushed with colour. ‘I’m sorry, that’s the oldest pick-up line in the book. I didn’t mean it like that…’

  He grinned, flashing those dimples again. ‘I know how you meant it. Please, you have no reason to be embarrassed around me.’

  He was completely genuine. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘So I seem familiar to you?’ he asked.

  I nodded. ‘Strangely familiar.’ But how best to explain that his familiarity had nothing to do with his physicality? I’d never laid eyes on him before last week. I’d surely remember someone like him. But there was something memorable about him. My eyes wandered over his strong square jaw lined with dark coarse stubble, his wide arched brows, the tangle of dragons and lotus’s inked onto his arms. His familiarity was none of those things. His familiarity was something intangible, emanating from him, through him and about him. But how the hell did I explain that to someone I barely knew, without appearing bat-shit crazy?

  ‘I think it’s your smile,’ I said.

  ‘Really?’

  ‘It’s so strange. Your smile, it belongs to a new face, yet I feel like it belongs to an old friend.’ I shrugged. ‘Perhaps you remind me of someone.’

  ‘That could be possible. Hopefully someone well liked?’

  I laughed. ‘That smile of yours is what made me introduce myself, and, of course, my unfailing business savvy. I know a good thing when I see it.’ I lowered my eyes to my feet. ‘I promise that wasn’t intended to be a pick-up line.’

  ‘That’s a shame, because if it were a pick-up line, it would definitely work.’

  Did he seriously just say that? I met his eyes again. He was smiling with half his mouth, cheeky. I drew a deep breath and tried to calm my racing mind, my thundering heart. This guy destroyed me — in the best possible way.

  ‘Anthea, I was just about to head off. Did you need me to drive you anywhere?’

  Every warning and comment made about getting into cars with strangers flooded my brain, trying to impart good judgement.

  ‘Perhaps I could wait for a cab with you?’ he suggested.

  My apartment was less than a couple of blocks from here, however, I’d never walk it alone at this time of night and especially not in these fabulous, yet ankle-swelling, pain-inflicting heels. But Saturday, at this hour, could have me lined up at a cab rank for hours.

  My mother is going to kill me. ‘I would really appreciate a lift home.’

  I waited for my body to respond, for my heart to start aching; telling me I was making a mistake, reminding me of those unstitched threads no man could ever heal. I waited, but it only felt like I was floating on gentle ripples in the ocean with the sun warming my skin, and I had nowhere to go and no one to be.

  I sucked in a deep breath and threw my hands to my chest. Not because of the familiar ache that has plagued me since I was little girl, but because it wasn’t there, at all.

  Lucas took a hold of my shoulders. ‘Is everything okay?’

  I stared wide-eyed at him as a blush crept over my cheeks and made my ears hot. He couldn’t possibly understand what was going on. He wouldn’t understand my issues. I slowly dropped my arms to my side and painted a polite smile on my face. ‘I’m sorry. I-I forgot about something I was meant to do, but it’s no big deal.’

  Lucas’s jaw was tight, his lips drawn into a long line.

  ‘I’m fine, really,’ I said.

  He held my elbow the entire way to his car. I didn’t protest. It felt so right and protective. On the brief drive home he asked me a hundred times if I was feeling okay, and each time my answer was the same — fine.

  How inadequate that description was. What I felt was superlative to fine. But understanding what part Lucas played in producing that feeling I was unsure of. I was attracted to him physically — evident in the way my body prickled and flushed as he spoke. But I barely knew him. Surely this life-long yearning wouldn’t be anointed by superficial appearance alone? I wracked my brain back to last Sunday night when I met him at the Cloud Bar. Did I notice then how he made me feel? Christ, I couldn’t remember shit from that night. I shook my head and sighed. Perhaps this was all merely a pleasurable coincidence.

  Chapter 5

  Anthea

  ‘Who dropped you home last night?’ Roslyn said from the kitchen, with a grin as wide as her face. She was gorgeous. No doubt about it. Long caramel hair and ocean blue eyes. Skin as warm as sun-drenched sand and curves that rivalled Marilyn Monroe.

  My tastebuds watered at the scent of coffee lingering in the air as she rinsed her finished mug in the sink. I flopped onto a stool at the breakfast bar and chewed my bottom lip, but couldn’t shake off the grin. ‘Lucas.’

  Roslyn’s jaw dropped open. ‘That sex-god singer? From that band peren…perineum?’

  I laughed. ‘Perennial. You do know what perineum means, don’t you?’

  Roslyn turned off the tap, spun to face me. With a hand on her hip, she battered her eyelashes. ‘You’re seriously asking me that question? Of course I know. And believe me; the guys I sleep with know that I know, too.’

  ‘So crude for nine in the morning,’ I said.

  She smiled wide, cheeky. ‘After the crude morning I’ve had, I’m allowed to be.’

  ‘Too much information, but while we’re on the topic, was that the same guy from last weekend I saw heading to the shower just before?’

  ‘Yes it was.’

  ‘One guy. Two weekends. I’m guessing you like him?’

  Roslyn took a stool next to me and flicked her honey locks behind her shoulder. ‘Quit trying to divert the topic back to me. Tell me about Lucas?’

  I shrugged. ‘He’s the sexiest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on. He’s seriously sweet and charming. And tall. My God, he towers over me and has these,’ I touched my shoulders then my biceps, ‘muscles…everywhere.’

  Roslyn squirmed on her stool. ‘Now you’re making me jealous.’

  I laughed.

  ‘And?’ said Roslyn, when I didn’t say anything more.

  I frowned. ‘And I b
lew it. I won’t be seeing him again.’

  ‘What? How did you blow it? What happened?’

  ‘I acted like a crazy woman. I know he thinks I’m nuts. He barely spoke to me on the ride home, other than to ask if I was okay. He didn’t want my number or…’ I sighed.

  ‘Why does he think you’re crazy? You’re the most grounded, intelligent, gorgeous girl I know.’

  ‘You know my,’ I pointed to my chest, ‘heart thingy?’

  Roslyn nodded.

  ‘I couldn’t feel it when I was with him. I’ve never had a moment since I was nine where I didn’t feel it.’

  Roslyn’s eyes widened, her lips parted. ‘Woh. That’s huge.’

  ‘I know.’

  Her brow furrowed as she narrowed her eyes. ‘But I don’t understand how that would make you look crazy.’

  I told her about Lucas and my conversation after the ball and of my absurd heart-clutching reaction.

  She tensed her lips together, but her shoulders shook and a giggle burst through. ‘You’re right. You are crazy.’

  ‘Gee thanks,’ I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

  ‘But honestly, honey, if he really likes you, and it kinda sounds like he does, that’s not going to turn him away. Why don’t you give him a call? You’ve got his number.’

  I shook my head. ‘I need a break from guys anyway, to get my head cleared. I’ve taken two weeks leave, so I’m thinking about heading out of town for a while. Maybe go visit Mum up North.’

  ‘Your mum will drive you more fucking crazy. Call this guy. He sounds like he’s worth the trouble.’

  I shrugged as I sighed. ‘He knows where I live. If he wants me, he can come get me.’

  Roslyn rolled her eyes. ‘As if he’s going to just turn up on our doorstep.’

  The intercom buzzed.

  Roslyn and I stared at each other, eyes wide.

  The buzzing again.

  ‘Couldn’t be Lucas, could it?’ asked Roslyn.

  I burst in to laughter as I stood and ran towards the foyer. ‘Of course it isn’t.’ The intercom buzzed again just as I neared my finger to it. Talk about insistent.