by Dori Lavelle
“Open your eyes and look around,” he said over the sound of the water licking the side of the boat.
Melisa lifted her eyes. On the distant shore, people still celebrated, but their boat was the only one left on the water, surrounded by a dream of petals.
“Where did the other boats go?”
“To join the party. Now we can have our own, undisturbed.” He slipped his tongue into her mouth again, then quickly removed it. “Do you want me as much as I want you, Melisa? You just need to say the word and I’ll stop…or continue.”
Melisa threw back her head and smiled up at the velvet sky. “Yes,” she said breathlessly. In response, he hardened beneath her. She brought his head to hers and drowned in his kiss, allowed him to carry her away, to lift her up high. He pulled away and dug into his pockets to find a condom. Placing both of his large hands around her waist, he moved her a few inches away from his bulge.
Melisa watched as he unzipped his jeans and freed his erection. For a moment she feared he might not fit inside her, but she was ready to try.
She took a deep, unsteady breath and laid her hands on top of his; together they glided the condom over his shaft.
Excitement lurched inside Melisa’s belly and she throbbed between her legs. She wanted him inside her so badly.
Scott slid his hands over her butt and tugged her denim skirt to her waist, so her skin was exposed to the balmy night air. He didn’t remove her panties, just used his thumb to move them away from her crotch. She gasped as he slipped a finger into her and gently moved it in and out while massaging her clit gently with his thumb. “You’re so wet, so ready for me,” he murmured.
Melisa moaned with pleasure and he thrust his finger deeper, breathing heavily into her ear. If he didn’t stop soon, she’d come before the real thing.
“I want you… please,” she begged. “I want you. Now.”
“You have me, baby. You have me.” He removed his finger, leaving her feeling empty, but not for long.
She squealed when he lifted her as if she weighed nothing and positioned her above his erection. Slowly, he buried himself inside her, filled her inch by inch, releasing starbursts inside her body, until she reached the base. She couldn’t wait for him to guide her anymore. She swayed above him, her knees cushioned by the petals, crushing them with each thrust, releasing the sweet scent of flowers into the night. Scott grabbed her ass and increased the speed, lifting her up and down his length. He alternated fast and slow movements and sweat dripped off his forehead and into her shoulder. Having all of him inside of her, filling her completely, made Melisa feel whole again. With each plunge, he seemed to grow larger, and Melisa found it hard to breathe as liquid fire swirled inside her body. She clung on tight to his strong, broad shoulders, and they rocked the boat for what seemed like hours. Then an orgasmic wave rose inside her, crashed, and swept her away.
Scott tightened his grip around her waist and sucked in air through his teeth, making a hissing sound as he plunged deeper and harder into her. Finally, a guttural groan of pleasure escaped his lips, and with his arms tight around her, he found his release.
Melisa smiled as she snuggled up against him, panting. She felt a deep peace in her heart. What they had would not be a one-time thing. Scott was in her life to stay.
Chapter Seventeen
“Are you okay?” Heat asked from the other end of the line. His voice sounded hoarse. “Should we do dinner tonight? I can come to the hotel.”
“No,” Melisa said quickly. She hadn’t heard from Scott in two days. Even her calls to his room at the inn went unanswered. Melisa suspected he was still coming to terms with her relationship with Heat. But he knew where she was staying. What if he decided to show up and he and Heat bumped into each other? She couldn’t risk it. She feared the repercussions of Heat finding out that his best friend—and wife’s ex-husband—had returned from the dead. The knowledge would most definitely breed anger and insecurity and could possibly destroy their already fragile marriage.
“I’ll…” she continued. “Why don’t we go to Don’s?” During the early days of their marriage, they used to frequent the pizzeria for lunch. They hadn’t been there in months and she knew it would no longer feel the same. Their marriage had been shaken to its core. Everything had changed. Or maybe only she had changed, after all the blows she’d been dealt. Who could remain the same after discovering the life they believed was real had actually been built on lies?
“Sounds great. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“No, it’s okay, I’ll take a cab.” Melisa said. She had to keep him away from the hotel, away from Scott.
“That’s fine.” Heat’s tone was gentle and understanding. Melisa couldn’t help wondering when he’d crack. When would he stop being so patient?
She wished she could tell him the anger she had felt toward him had weakened. On many nights she had put herself in his shoes, trying to figure out what she would do if she were made to choose between two people she loved. She always ended up undecided. She would probably end up losing both people because of her unwillingness to decide. She had been devastated about the choice Heat had made, but at least he had been brave enough to make one.
***
They ordered their food as soon as they arrived at the restaurant, but neither of them was in the mood to eat. They merely stared at each other over their plates, wondering how they could be in the same room, a breath, a touch, a whisper apart, and yet be so far away from one another. When they met at the entrance of the restaurant, they’d given each other a brief kiss on the lips and hadn’t said much since that moment. It was as if they had forgotten how to communicate.
Heat wore a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and jeans. His wavy, chestnut hair was shiny in the candlelight, and the shadows that had been under his eyes the last time they saw each other had faded. He looked fresh and handsome and as if he was ready to start over.
Guilt washed over Melisa as she watched her husband, wishing she were at the same place he was. “How’s work?” she asked, trying to cultivate a safe atmosphere.
“Work is fine.” He cleared his throat. “But aren’t there more important topics to discuss right now, Mel? You’ve been away for weeks. We need to talk about you coming back home where you belong, about how I can help you cope. This isn’t good for us or our marriage. I miss you, dammit.”
“I know. It’s just hard.”
“It will be hard, for a long time, Mel.” Fire blazed in Heat’s eyes. “It will take ages for us to get over what happened. We might never recover completely. But we love each other. We’ve lost a baby, but we also have a son who might contact us any day, wanting to be a part of our life again. We have to move on.” He reached for her hands and held them tight. “Baby, we still have more than some people have.”
“Honey,” Melisa pulled her hands away. It took all her courage not to confide in him, to fall into his arms for comfort. But when he was affectionate towards her, the guilt she carried over hiding so many secrets from him gnawed at her. How could she tell him her heart was bleeding in so many different places, for so many different reasons? That the secrets and lies Scott had brought with him had wounded her in ways that made her wonder if she would ever get over the shock? There might come a time when she had to tell Heat the truth. Secrets had a way of coming to light at the least expected time. But not yet. For now she had to keep everything to herself. And she couldn’t go home. It would only take a slip of the tongue, or her blurting everything out in her sleep to bring it all out into the open.
“I do love you. I do miss you, and I will come home, I promise. Just not yet. Please… Let’s not talk about this.” Blinking away tears, she pushed the chair back and stood.
“You’re not going to walk away, Melisa.” Heat also jerked to his feet. “You’re going to stay here until we talk this through.” He dug deep into his pockets and removed some money, which he placed on the table.
Tears trickling down her cheeks, Melis
a headed for the door, almost colliding with a waitress.
Suddenly Heat was beside her, and when they exited the restaurant, he spun her around so she was facing him in the circle of his arms. “Baby, you know what we went through to be together again. Are you going to throw it all away, as if it meant nothing, after all that we’ve been through? Please come back to me, come back to us.”
“I love you,” she mumbled. “I do love you, baby, and I will come home…in time. Can you be patient a little longer?” She kissed him, and he welcomed what she was offering. Although the kiss was pleasant, it didn’t turn on the sparks that usually accompanied his kisses. A piece of their love had been torn off. It would be best to stay and try to fix what they had left, but it shattered her to think that Scott had less than a year to live. She couldn’t bring herself to ruin the last few weeks of his life. Or could it be that, at a deeper level, she wanted to have this time with him, a chance to be able to say goodbye—a chance she had been robbed of the first time? Whatever the truth, she only wished it wouldn’t cost her what she had with Heat.
Chapter Eighteen
Heat climbed into the car, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes for a long time, trying to calm down. Melisa was not coming back. He’d made himself believe it was a phase, but now he could feel her slipping out of his life. She told him she loved him. She kissed him. But all that didn’t mean jack if she wasn’t willing to fight for their marriage. For the second time since they’d taken their vows, he felt a baby was more important to her than everything else. Even him. The way it had seemed when they were trying to get pregnant. Now it was confirmed.
He wiped the sweat off his brow and inhaled deeply. Then he started the car and drove like a zombie through town, hoping he could pay attention well enough to avoid another accident.
Why the fuck couldn’t she see that the baby was his as well? Why couldn’t she understand that the decision the doctors had asked him to make had been the hardest thing he had ever done in his life? He’d done things that would make anyone cringe with fear. He walked through fire almost daily at his job, but the possibility of losing her had almost killed him. He would forever remember the day the doctor came to look for him in the hospital waiting room, his face showing that something was wrong even before he said the words. Heat had listened attentively as the doctor explained they had to perform a procedure that would result in only Melisa or the baby surviving, and that Heat had to make a choice that no man should be asked to contemplate. The doctor had walked away with Heat’s answer, unaware of the storm raging inside him.
Heat remembered thinking that after his shift at the hospital, that doctor would probably go home to his wife and kids. They’d all sit at the table for dinner, and the only choice he might have to make is whether he wanted rice or potatoes as a side dish. Or a beer instead of a Coke. But Heat’s choice would change his life forever.
He’d told Melisa that, if he had to, he would do it all over again. And he would. He would choose her every time. She was everything to him. He didn’t want to live in a world without her in it. Maybe that was selfish, but no one could judge him until they were faced with the same dilemma. He would forever live with his decision. And he hoped once Melisa forgave him and returned home, they would work through this horrible trauma together. But she was choosing to be alone.
He managed to arrive home safely. But a home without Melisa in it was just a house. He wanted her back, he wanted their life back. He did not make the decision to save her life only to end up with nothing. He was determined to fight tooth and nail for her.
He entered the kitchen, took a bottle of water from the fridge, and went upstairs to the bedroom, where he took a big swig and then lay on the bed with his hands clasped behind his head. There had to be a way to save their marriage.
An hour later, he knew the answer and picked up the phone. If what he had in mind didn’t work, nothing else would.
Chapter Nineteen
Melisa was crying hard as she scrambled in her purse for her keycard. When her fingers closed around it, she pulled it out and immediately dropped it. She bent down to retrieve it, but crumpled onto the cream-colored carpet in a heap of sobs. She couldn’t find the strength to get up. So much had happened, she wasn’t even sure anymore which slice of pain belonged where, or which teardrops belonged to which hurt. Everything merged into one big pool of liquid misery that flooded her throat and washed over her cheeks.
“Melisa?” a man’s voice said. She wiped her eyes and sniffed. Without looking up, she knew it was him.
He lowered himself to the floor and placed a hand on her back, moving it around in circular motions. “I know you’re in pain.”
At his words, Melisa cried even harder—the heart-wrenching, high-pitched keening of someone whose heart was being snapped in half. With every sob, the two pieces of her heart fell further apart, unable to find each other, to fix each other.
“Give it to me.” Scott extracted the keycard from her hand, unfurling her fingers one at a time.
He straightened up again and Melisa listened to the clicking sound of the keycard being accepted and the door being opened. She was powerless to resist the next thing that happened. Scott had picked her up and was entering the room with her, one arm around her back and another under her legs. When he reached the bed, he laid her on top of the sheets, removed her sandals one after the other, and positioned her against the pillows until she was comfortable.
He sat on the edge of the bed, and gazed down into her tearful eyes. His face was masked with the same concern he had shown when they had been a couple and she felt unwell. “Can I get you anything?” he asked and she shook her head.
“A glass of water, maybe?”
“No.” She did want something, she just wasn’t sure what it was.
His smile curled one side of his mouth and her heart started beating fast. “I’m sure what I brought you will change your mind. It will make you feel better. I’ll be right back.” He smoothed the hair back from her face and rose.
He returned less than a minute later carrying a mug, and she recognized the rich chocolate aroma immediately. A small smile snuck up on her. “Oh, my God, how did you get that?”
“I made it at the inn. Mrs. Drawbridge was kind enough to let me into her kitchen. She even lent me her flask to carry it in. Here.” He handed her the warm mug. For a moment, he didn’t move his hands from beneath hers.
Melisa looked down at both their hands cupping the mug, and the steam from the hot chocolate warmed her face. She blinked and looked up into his eyes, detected a flicker of hope there. She shook her head.
Scott removed his hands but remained seated close to her.
“Thank you for this.” Melisa took a sip of chocolate and an image of their babymoon weekend to New York came to mind, but she brushed it away before it brought along all the emotions from that time.
Scott nodded. “I shouldn’t have returned.” He looked hurt. “You were happy and now I’ve hurt you. Please forgive me, Melisa. If you want me to leave town, I will.”
“It’s not just you.” Melisa placed the cup on the bedside table. “Heat and I were going through a difficult time before you came along. We lost our baby a few weeks ago. You just complicated things.”
Scott gathered her into his arms and rocked her while stroking her hair. The way he’d held her for hours after their miscarriage years ago. They had healed together. Why hadn’t she been able to do the same with Heat? Most importantly, why was she finding comfort in the man who had betrayed her instead of her husband? She willed her body to pull away from Scott but it refused. Maybe she was soaking in the moments she had lost when she thought he’d died and she’d never see him again. “We wanted that baby so much. She was already a part of our lives.”
“Is that why you’re staying here? You needed time away?”
“It was hard to return home from the hospital. I will go back eventually. I’m just not ready yet.” She wasn’t sure if she would ever b
e ready.
“You do love Heat, don’t you?” Scott’s voice was a broken whisper.
Melisa pulled away from him. “I do. But the loss hurt our relationship.”
“I’m sorry,” Scott said. The two words were simple, but soaked with anguish, regret, and jealousy at the man who had stepped into the shoes he had willingly abandoned. But he had no right to feel those feelings. He had to respect that Melisa had moved on. He didn’t have anything to give her anyway. His days were numbered. “Talk to me. Tell me about your life…after I left.”
As if a gate had been opened, Melisa told him everything, even things that were none of his business. She told him about how Heat had rescued her from the fire that she had mistakenly set at the Oasis Shelter on the night of Carlene’s wedding, how he’d been there to teach her how to live again. She hesitated at the part where they fell in love again, but Scott begged her to continue.
“It hurts,” he admitted. “It hurts so damn much, but I want to hear it… everything, please.” He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself.
Melisa had the feeling he wanted to punish himself for what he had done to her.
“I was in pieces after you were gone. I completely lost myself. It was so hard…” A sob escaped her.
Scott held her again and buried his face into her hair.
The hair on the top of Melisa’s head dampened with his tears. He was crying with her. “I should never have left you. I should have told you everything. Maybe things would have turned out different.”
Melisa wasn’t too sure about that. If he’d stayed, he might have ended up in prison, and Heat would have been there to comfort her. The chance was high that they would have ended up right back here, because even as Scott held her, Melisa knew she loved Heat more. She knew it would have been just a matter of time before they ended up together again.
She broke their embrace and wiped her eyes. “Why are you here? I couldn’t reach you at the inn. I thought you didn’t want to see me again.”