Waterdreamer (The Emerald Series Book 2)

by Kimberly James

  “Caris, look at me,” Sol demanded, and I couldn’t do it. My eyes stayed trained on the windows and the force amassing outside. Athen’s power called to me, his energy seeking me out, demanding what I could give him. Chaos that I didn’t have the will to control. Is that what had happened to my father all those years ago? Had he simply lost his will for control? Had he lost it now?

  I’d lost it once. That night on the beach with Noah. I’d given myself over to it and it felt good. It felt right. But this was different. This felt wrong. I felt nothing like the girl of that night. That night, I discovered a part of myself and I knew with certainty if I gave in to it now I would lose the self I’d been trying to find, maybe the most important part.

  “Caris.” The sound of Noah’s voice lured my eyes away from window. He swam in and out of focus. In an odd moment of dizziness, he tunneled backward as if the wind had finally found me and snatched me right off the boat. The windows rattled. Lightning cracked and bolted from the clouds.

  “Noah!” I screamed as pain ripped through me, doubling me over. Temptation slipped under my skin like the slice of a knife and I thought this is what it must feel like to be skinned alive. Why did it hurt so much to resist?

  The boat rose on a steep pitch and I stumbled back. A cup tipped over and clattered in the sink. The vase of flowers Sol always kept on the table beside his sofa fell over, water and stems spilling on the floor. Noah reached for me, but I lunged to get away. I tripped and fell. Sol’s hands caught me, but not before my head snapped against the table. My body went limp. The darkness I’d been trying so hard to resist captured me. I sank into oblivion.

  * * *

  The Deep. She sang to me. She cradled me, whispering over my skin until my head no longer pounded. Until the cut above my right eye was healed and all that was left was the blood stains on my shirt. Sol’s arms kept me afloat. It was his bed I slept in.

  The continuous drone of rain woke me sometime during the night. Hours. It had been pouring for hours. “Why won’t it quit raining?” I asked, only half conscious.

  “I don’t know,” Noah’s voice came out of the shadows. “Go back to sleep.”

  I drifted off again, soothed by the knowledge that he watched over me.

  The next time my eyes fluttered open, Noah sat on the edge of the mattress. Sunlight filtered inside the cabin, highlighting his mussed hair, making him look like an angel. I rolled over and blinked a few times to clear my eyes. He was still there. Not a dream or wish, but real. I searched his eyes, soft and tired and beautiful as the quiet grew around us. It had stopped raining.

  “How long have you been sitting there?” I sat up, the silk sheets slipping down around my hips. I wore a different shirt than the one I’d had on the night before. By the scent of it, salty with a hint of dreamweed, I presumed it was Sol’s.

  “A while.” He arched his back, muscles stretching under his tan skin. Oh so touchable.

  “Where’s Sol?” The darkened glass drew my eye, the day beyond bright and cloudless. Small mercy. I needed the sunlight. Something deep in my soul still resided in the dark.

  “He went for a swim,” Noah said, shifting closer.

  I ran my hands over my hair and face, my fingers lingering over the spot where I’d hit my head. Not a touch of tenderness remained. I knew my eyes were puffy, my arms and legs heavy even though I’d slept. “My dad must be freaking out.”

  “I called him.” Noah dropped one hand to the mattress, fingers curling slightly.

  “What did you tell him?” My eyes stayed trained on his long fingers, the strong bones underneath tight, smooth skin.

  “The truth, for the most part. That you fell asleep on Sol’s boat and I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “And he was okay with that?”

  “You were in no condition to go home.”

  No, I don’t suppose I was.

  “Thank you,” I said, hugging my knees to my chest and resting my chin there, wanting so bad to take the hand resting by his thigh. “You always take care of me.”

  Even when I didn’t need it. When I didn’t deserve it.

  “I’ll do anything for you.” His voice pebbled over my skin. “Even watch Sol carry you through the Deep while you heal.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said and I wasn’t talking about a bump on the head. That was nothing. “I don’t know what came over me.” Grief. Despair. My father. All three struck me so fast I’d almost let it overwhelm me. And therein lay the danger. Those tidal waves of feelings that crashed into me so hard they swept me away until it seemed I didn’t know up from down. Or right from wrong. Or good from bad.

  “Do you feel better?” Noah leaned forward, so close all I had to do was reach out and touch him. Did I dare? I resisted, taking mental stock. Quiet. Nothing but complete quiet.

  “Come here.” I held out my hand and he took it. We must have pulled at each other because we ended up in the middle of the bed, the weight of Noah’s body sinking me into the mattress, the sheets getting tangled between our legs. His kiss was tentative at first. A test. Maybe he too was still wary. I took his face in my hands and held his mouth to mine, lips parting, kiss deepening, and I was floating, not in a torrent of uncontrolled emotion, but in a lazy river of complete content. Noah did that for me. He made me better.

  “I’m sorry,” I said again when he lifted his head, his eyes coasting over my face, his lips pressing to the side of my head.

  “You don’t have to be sorry with me. Don’t be sorry for being you,” he said, his eyes bright with acceptance. “I love you.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe I’m bad. Last night I felt bad.” And I’d wanted to let go, lose control, and I might have if I hadn’t fallen.

  “No, Caris. God no.” His lips worked their way behind my ear and down my throat. “You’re good. So good.”’ He raised his head, looking down on me. ”And even if you were, it wouldn’t matter. I’d be bad with you.”

  I leaned up and took his mouth with mine. Finally able to let go and feel. And it was good. Noah was good and sweet. His skin. His taste. I tugged at the hem of the t-shirt I wore, wanting to feel more of his skin.

  Noah’s hands stopped me from removing the borrowed shirt. “There’s nothing I’d like more than to do sex with you all over this bed, but Athen’s here.”

  “What?” My eyes flew open, and I strained to see out the glass.

  “I wanted to let you get some sleep. He wants to see you.” Noah lifted himself off me, taking my hand in the process and pulling me from the bed. He smoothed down my hair.

  “I guess I need to talk to him.” I must not have sounded too sure for Noah’s face to fall like it did, the corners of his mouth turning down. I wanted to kiss his frown away.

  “I can tell him to leave if you want,” he said, ever stalwart. Ever loyal. “You don’t have to see him if you’re not ready. Not after last night. I don’t pretend to understand what’s between you, but say the word and I’ll make him leave.” His eyes took on a new fierceness. I felt it in the weight of his hands, the warmth of his pearl. He’d fight a storm for me if I asked him.

  Sterling’s warning about my mother niggled at my conscience. What he’d said about her being seduced by her own power, the control she exerted. I knew the truth of it now. She’d confessed as much in her letter and I was determined to not abuse my gift. Either of them.

  “No. I need to see him.” Like I needed the water. I’d upset him by showing him her letter. Almost twenty years later and Rena was still able to push him into a rage. She still controlled him.

  “I’ll tell him you’ll be out in a minute.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll warn you though, he looks bad.”

  “He’s hurting,” I said, because I understood. I was too. “I don’t imagine I look great myself.”

  “You’re beautiful.” He kissed me and then turned for the door.

  “Wait.” I took his hand and pulled him back around, wrapping my arms around his neck, holding him as tight as I
could. “Stay close.”

  “I will,” he said next to my ear. “Always.”

  * * *

  I splashed my face with water and used Sol’s toothpaste to finger brush my teeth before going to meet Athen. When I walked out of the cabin, the wind hit me and I paused, my hand clinging to the doorframe. He looked at me, eyes bereft, his scent reaching me under the steady breeze.

  “It’s not me. It’s just windy today,” he said, his voice full of disparagement. I was struck by the pallor of his skin. He exhibited none of his usual vitality. Instead, he looked drained. Almost emaciated. His gray eyes dull and sleep deprived.

  Sol’s shirt hung halfway down my thighs and I wore a bathing suit underneath, but I still felt exposed. My feelings raw and hurt. He’d driven me away in anger. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and stood mute in front if him.

  “I’m so sorry, Caris.” His head tilted toward a clear sky, the brilliant blue drawing my gaze as well. The air was dry and light with an underlying coolness that brought with it a sense of reprieve after last night. On a ragged breath he said, “It seems I’m destined to always say that to you. I would never hurt you. You must know that. My anger wasn’t directed at you. I only sent you away because I didn’t want you to see me like that. After reading her words, knowing what she did. I was ashamed.”

  “I didn’t intend to shame you. I just didn't understand,” I said. And still didn’t. Not totally. Maybe I never would.

  “No. How could you?”

  “I thought it might help you to know she forgave you.” I dared to step closer, putting my hands on the rail. The water below matched the sky in clarity, pure and precious as a gem.

  “I wish it were enough,” he said and moved over to stand beside me, resting his arms over the shiny metal. My gaze wandered out over the horizon, and I felt myself fully relax. Last night, I doubted we could find this place again, this place of peace, of calm.

  “Rena wasn’t the only one to die that night,” he said, his tone one of disdain.

  The wind buffeted my shoulders and the sun warmed my face. I waited, my breath held tight in my chest.

  “A woman drowned along with her child when her car was swept away in a flash flood.” He swallowed, the long column of his throat working. “So it wasn’t one crime I committed, but two.”

  The admission tore through my conscience, giving reason to the apprehension that plagued me. What he described was unthinkable. The weight of responsibility, unbearable. It gave credence to my fears that I wasn’t entirely good anymore.

  “Surely it wasn’t your fault.” The words fell flat. My mind was in protest. I’d felt responsible for a few sticks and leaves on the ground. A trashcan toppled over in the street. He’d lost control and two lives had been lost. One of them a child.

  “It was and I accepted it. That is why I cautioned you about using it, letting it wrest control from you. If you give nature what it wants, what it needs, it’s impossible to stop. In that sense it was my fault. I started it, and then I couldn’t stop it.”

  “Like last night,” I said, remembering the rain that fell for so long. Hours and hours.

  “Yes. That’s another reason I sent you away. It wasn’t safe for us to be together, to feed off each other. Not with emotions running so deep and unchecked. The potential is there to cause great harm and there are those, if they knew, that would go to great lengths to use that power for their own gain.”

  “My uncle,” I said, remembering Sol’s admonition for me to show Flores nothing.

  “Sterling and a host of others, and not all of our own species. Think about it Caris. We wouldn’t be safe if they knew. It is the single greatest factor that keeps us as a species from making ourselves fully known. It’s one thing to be able to breathe water, it’s quite another to possess the ability to literally generate a weather disturbance on the scale of a tropical storm, and in the right conditions a hurricane. The implications are vast.”

  “So you’re saying I’m dangerous.”

  “I’m saying you must be careful. We must be careful.” He sighed long and heavy. “I wasn’t, and if I could take that night back I would. Instead, I’ve had to live with the knowledge of what I did. And now I live knowing she not only sacrificed for you, she sacrificed for me. I drove her to such an insane decision. You were worth it. I was not.”

  “She believed you were worth it.” My whisper caught on the wind. “You forget, I not only understand the power you have, but I understand hers too. The influence it has. No one is blameless.”

  “Except for you.” He turned his face to me, a soul baring flash of eyes. “Why aren’t you angry? Your hate of me would be justified for what she was forced to do because of me.”

  “I’m not angry. I’m just sad,” I said, my eyes searching a cloudless sky, an endless deep. “Sad for her. I just want us to put it behind us. Both of us. Together. I’d hoped you’d do that with me.”

  “How do I do that?” His baffled tone pulled my head toward him. “The knowing will never leave me.”

  Our eyes met and locked for one quiet beat of time. “Accept her forgiveness. Accept mine.”

  He turned his face away from me as if what I offered were more than he could bear.

  “That’s all I wanted yesterday. For you to know she forgave you. That I forgive you.” My heart felt weightless. It beat clear and strong and unencumbered.

  “Even now?” His jaw clenched, his words tight and clipped. “Knowing the truth? That I really was a monster. That I still could be.”

  “Yes,” I said. What choice did I have? I could be that monster too.

  He made a strangled sound. His chin fell to his chest between his arms. His eyes squeezed shut. He stayed like that for a long time, his inner turmoil evident in the trembling of his hands. He released a shuddering breath and stood, running his hands over his face. When his hands dropped, his eyes sought mine with renewed intensity.

  “You are a wonder to me, Caris. I’ve lived long enough and disappointed enough people to know it’s foolish to make such a promise, but I promise you, I’ll do my best to never disappoint you again.”

  I nodded and inwardly vowed to do the same.

  “You know I’m looking forward to it now, the Soulfast. I kind of feel like it’s for her. Maybe she’ll see and know everything turned out okay, that she got her wish. Maybe she can smile on the both of us.”

  “I’d like to think she will.” His lips rose on a heartfelt smile. “It’s customary for me to make a formal offering. Would you do me the honor of letting me stand up for you at your Soulfast?”

  “Yes,” I said on a shaky breath. “I’d like that.”

  A gentle wind blew between us and with it came a voice so faint I strained to hear it. She called us, and we both turned at the sound. The water beckoned an invitation. One I couldn’t refuse. I knew Noah lingered close like I’d asked him to, in the depths of this place that held such mysterious allure.

  I filled my lungs with the salty air, feeling its sticky sweetness on my skin. Knowing the step I took, I said, “Will you swim with me?”

  Athen’s eyes closed briefly. Then he climbed on the rail, exhibiting his keen sense of balance. When he looked down at me, one side of his mouth tilted. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this day. I might not have known it, but I have been waiting.” He leaped into the air, the strong lines of his powerful body a wonderful thing against the bright blue sky. He hit the water in a perfect line, slicing into it like the clean cut of a knife.

  I dove in behind him, a star shooting across the sky.

  Seventeen

  “One more,” Maggie said as I met her reflection in the mirror. A tiny green jewel sparkled on the fingertip she brought to my face. “I promise I’ll stop.”

  “Okay. One more.” I watched as she applied the last jewel into the pattern of others running from the corner of my right eye down my cheekbone. They looked like sun sparkles on the water over my emerald eye makeup.

  “Th
ere.” She dabbed the last sparkle in place and I tried not to squint my eyes and mess up all her hard work. My makeup alone had taken an hour, and for someone who rarely wore any at all, my patience had been rewarded. I looked good. I smiled at Maggie in the mirror.

  “Thanks, Maggie. I look…”

  “You are a delightful canvas. It’s okay for you to say it. You’re lovely. I can’t wait for Noah to see you, and I got to say, he’s looking pretty dapper himself.”

  I hadn’t seen him yet. I’d heard his voice, his throaty laughter coming up the steps. What was set up to be a girls’ dress up party had turned into more of a pre-game for the main event. The guys, Noah, Jeb, Daniel, and Mr. Shaw, brought the drinks, and Mrs. Jacobs supplied a few hors d’oeuvres. I’d eaten a couple of crab-stuffed mushrooms and stopped there, too nervous to eat any more.

  “I guess I’m ready,” I told my reflection before walking out of the bathroom. Erin and Quinn lounged on my bed, waiting to give me their approval. I dipped and bowed and twirled in a circle, my arms stretched out. I was rewarded with the appropriate amount of “oohs” and “ahhs”.

  “Oh my gosh,“ Quinn gushed. “The dress, I love the dress.”

  “It’s not too, you know…” I looked down, running my hands over the smooth fabric. It was so soft and weightless it was like wearing a cloud. “Skimpy.”

  “Caris, you spend most of your life in a bathing suit of some sort. It’s not too skimpy. You look amazing.”

  My dress had a deep v-shaped neckline and thin spaghetti straps that crossed at my shoulder blades, exposing my back to my waist. The silk was a silvery gray and shimmered under the light or when I moved, the hem hitting just below mid-thigh with a slight uneven flair. I wasn’t wearing any jewelry other than Noah’s bracelet and the jewels on my face. Since this party was at the beach, shoes weren’t required.