Sidekicks
Page 6
“Man! All I did last night was watch MTV. Did you get a medal or anything?”
“No. Everyone thought we were dead, so they gave the medal to Pumpkin Pete as my sponsor.”
“But once they found out you were alive, didn’t Pete give the medal to you?”
“What do you think? But it doesn’t matter. The ribbon was so big because it had to fit around Pumpkin Pete’s pumpkin head, it would’ve hung down to my knees.”
“Yeah, I suppose.” Miles took a bite of his sandwich. “So Peenoh Keeoh and the Brotherhood of Rottenness got away?”
“Some of them. We captured The Complainer, Jellyfish, The Professor, Mayham and Rye....”
“Dude, you are so a hero! How does it feel?”
Until that moment, I really didn’t think about it. I had saved the League of Big Justice and the Sidekicks and stopped Peenoh Keeoh’s plan to turn everyone into puppets, but for some reason, I still felt the same. I was still Guy Martin.
“It feels, I dunno. Good?”
“That’s it?” Miles blurted out, nearly dropping his milk carton. “Good!?”
“Okay! Real good.”
“Hey, Guy.” It was Charisma Kid in his Mandrake Steel secret identity. “Good to see you and the human cork got out okay.”
“I bet you were losing a lot of sleep,” I snorted.
“Real shame you didn’t get any credit,” Charisma Kid sneered.
“It’s not about the credit... but neither did you!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” he laughed and dropped the front page of the newspaper in front of me.
KING JUSTICE AND CHARISMA KID SAVE EARTH! the headline screamed. PUMPKIN PETE AWARDED MEDAL OF BRAVERY! a smaller one blared.
All the work I did, all the danger and risk and effort, and this is how everything winds up? Charisma Kid’s overly attractive mug and perfect hair plastered over the front page of every newspaper in the nation, except for the one from Ohio that said AHHH! WE’RE ALL PUPPETS!
Now I know how Peenoh Keeoh felt.
“Good for you,” I said and spilled the brown sauce from my Salisbury steak onto the picture.
Charisma Kid leaned over to pick up the paper. “Oh, and I won’t be able to make the Sidekicks meeting today,” he whispered in my ear to make sure no one could hear. “I have a date...”
“Good for you,” I repeated, and tried to flick my cranberry cobbler into Charisma Kid’s hair.
“. . . with Prudence Cane.”
Ouch.
“Good for me, huh?” Charisma Kid stood up and smiled.
I had to admit, the guy has great teeth.
Suddenly the Salisbury steak looked more like the lump of mystery meat it really was rather than the tasty morsel it wanted so badly to be.
“Looks like you won’t be able to follow Prudence Cane home today,” Miles said.
“I don’t follow her home!” I defended. “I just happen to go home the same way.”
“But you live in the opposite direction, Guy.”
“Shut up.”
Where was Peenoh Keeoh’s puppet ray when I really needed it?
So, maybe there has been a time or two when I’ve gone out of my way and strolled in the general direction of Prudence’s house. I mean, I don’t follow her in a creepy way. I just kinda . . . linger slowly behind her while she walks. That’s not so bad, is it? And believe me, I’m not the only one. Some real losers follow her all over school.
Okay, so sometimes I follow her all over school, too. But she’s totally hot! I mean ... it’s just... she’s...
I am such a loser.
Chapter Twelve
The End
Guy’s mom tapped the steering wheel with her index finger. She stopped after a few seconds and looked at the radio. She had given up on it hours ago, unable to find anything worth listening to. She adjusted the rearview mirror for the tenth time, then checked the gas gauge again. Finally, she leaned over the steering wheel and looked up through the windshield into the general direction where she had watched the ship take her son into the sky.
“Do you think they’ll be back soon?” she asked.
“I hope so,” Exact Change Kid replied. “I have to go to the bathroom.”