Inside, Pt. 2

by Kyra Anderson

  “Something bad? How bad?” my mother gasped.

  “Well…” I said, looking at my food anxiously, “…pretty bad.”

  “For God’s sake, Lily, you can’t just say things like that. What happened?” my father pressed. I hesitated.

  “I’m not sure if I should tell you or wait for Dana to tell you.”

  “We’re seeing him tomorrow. We won’t have time to tell anyone or do anything Dana wouldn’t approve of before we see him,” my father insisted. “What happened?”

  “Um, do you remember those pop-ups?” I asked, pushing the food around my plate.

  “I still get the emails,” my mother grumbled. “I thought they would have fixed that by now…”

  “Well, Dana thinks that a group of those people broke into the Commission and broke out a bunch of people from the holding cells.”

  “People are missing from the Commission?” my mother gawked, her eyes wide. I nodded slowly, looking at Mykail, who was also acting surprised, as though hearing the information for the first time. My parents looked at one another in disbelief before turning to me.

  “No one saw anything? There are cameras and guards all over the place!”

  “From what he told us, most of the guards were killed, and the security system was down for seven minutes. By the time they got the system back online, it was over and all those people were gone.”

  “Are there any leads?” my mother pressed.

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I haven’t seen Dana since Saturday, and the break-in happened a week ago. All I know is that security is a lot tighter, now.”

  My parents exchanged horrified glances.

  “That is terrifying…to think, a terrorist group that has access to the Commission…” my father breathed.

  “I guess it’s a small miracle that the experiments weren’t broken out as well,” my mother said with her eyebrows high.

  I glanced at Mykail, who looked at me briefly before we turned back and played our ignorant parts.

  * *** *

  I was not worried about my parents meeting with Dana and learning more about the breakout because, while Dana understood I was involved, he had no proof. I knew he wouldn’t say anything. The game was between the two of us. My anxiety was directly linked to Mykail. I went to the Commission Friday with Mark and Clark, where Clark once again tried to get me to tell him what had been bothering me Sunday when I had refused to talk about Mykail in front of Mark, but I still told him it was nothing and that I was overreacting.

  I wanted to pull Mark aside and ask him for greater details about why he did not trust Mykail, but I was so worked up, the thought of confronting the leader of the Eight Group about the problem made my anxiety much worse.

  Therefore, when I got home, I texted Becca and asked her if she wanted to see a movie in order to enjoy our last Friday of freedom before school started. I did not entirely expect her to answer, since it had been so long since I had spoken to her, but she texted me back only ten minutes later and told me that she would meet me at the movie theatre near the river.

  Telling my parents that I was going to a movie, I took the bus to the center of town, where I walked to the river and sat on one of the benches outside the theater, looking over the low water tumbling over the rocks. I huddled into my scarf, my hands shoved deep into my pockets as I bounced my legs, trying to stay warm. Light snow was falling, but most of the snow on the sidewalks and streets had been cleared away or melted, so nothing was sticking to the wet surfaces.

  I glanced up and down the walk, looking for Becca. I saw one couple walking, arms linked and smiling with one another. They were not talking or making a big fuss like most of the couples my age did. They were walking quietly, occasionally throwing shy smiles at the other. I remembered looking at those kinds of couples and rolling my eyes before. But now, I wished that I could have that type of relationship with Mykail. We would never be able to stroll down the river in public, holding hands and smiling at one another. And now that I was worried about trusting Mykail, I was not even sure if I could call Mykail my boyfriend anymore. The realization made my heartache.

  More than anything, it still frightened me how easily my thoughts changed and how quickly I became paranoid about Mykail.

  “Hey, sorry to keep you waiting,” Becca said, suddenly at my other side.

  I jumped and turned to her. She smiled warmly and I retuned the grin, thrilled to meet with her after so long. I had not realized I was in such desperate need for a friend until that moment. A big smile broke out over my face and I leapt to my feet, throwing my arms around her. She let out a surprised laugh and hugged me back.

  “I missed you, too,” she chuckled.

  I pulled away, trying to pass my sniffle off as a result of the cold weather.

  “So, do you have a movie you want to see? I don’t really know what’s out right now…”

  “Well…we could see a movie,” Becca said slowly. “But you can’t really talk in a movie…”

  My eyes went wide, scanning to see if she was able to see how much I needed to talk to someone. Her smile widened knowingly. The tears came to my eyes though I tried to hold them back. I sniffed again and cleared my throat.

  “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” I laughed, my voice breaking at the end. Becca walked forward, hugging me again, weakening my barriers further and causing the tears to flow.

  She took my hand and led me to the coffee shop across the street, which was crowded with people enjoying their Friday night. After ordering something hot in an attempt to still the violent shivering of my body, Becca and I took a back corner table, where we had to sit close to hear one another over the din.

  “So…what’s the problem? Is your plan not going to work?”

  “No, it’s not that—hold on.” I reached into my purse and pulled out my makeup bag, opening it quickly.

  “You look fine, hun,” Becca teased.

  “Not that,” I grinned. “Can you turn off your phone for me? Make it seem as though we went to a movie?”

  “Sure…” As Becca reached for her phone, I began rifling through my makeup bag, looking for the gift Griffin had given me on Sunday. Finally finding the black compact-looking object I had been searching for, I set the makeup bag on the table. I opened up the compact, using my nail file to pry the mirror off the back.

  “What are you doing?” Becca whispered, watching me set the mirror aside. I pressed a button on the side of the three-button panel. The small screen lit up blue, flashing the number one. I hit the middle button twice to get the number to three and then held the far right button until the number stopped flashing. “What is that?” Becca pressed.

  “A scrambler,” I said. “If there are any bugs around this table, this should jam the signal.”

  “Where the hell did you get that?”

  “Some friends…” I shrugged, gently closing the compact and replacing it in my makeup bag, shoving everything into my purse again. “Actually, we did it. We succeeded.”

  I was sure that Becca’s eyes could not get wider until I said that.

  “You…you already—? It worked?”

  “Yes. A week ago. Over one hundred people.”

  “Holy shit…” Becca hissed. “That’s incredible. And you got away with it? I assume so, since you’re sitting here now…”

  “Yeah,” I chuckled brokenly.

  “Well, you should be celebrating!” Becca grinned. “I mean, I know you still have a lot to worry about, but right now, you shouldn’t be this upset…”

  “It’s not about breaking everyone out,” I murmured, wrapping both my hands around the warm mug, trying not to make eye contact.

  “What’s the problem, then?”

  I sighed and attempted to hide behind my mug as I lifted it. When I glanced over the steaming liquid at her, I saw her waiting patiently for my explanation.

  Meticulously setting the cup down to stall, I tried to decide where to begin.

  “You
know, we broke out humans…and experiments…”

  “People like Mykail?”

  “Yeah, basically. Clark and I worked with a few other experiments on this plan and they told us which experiments were safe.” I tapped my forefinger against the side of the cup. “These experiments, well, particularly one, I really trust his opinion…”

  “What’s his name?”

  I opened my mouth, but suddenly hesitated, not wanting to reveal Mark’s name, even if I did trust Becca and I had the scrambler working.

  “Um…let’s just call him Dex.”

  Thankfully, Becca just laughed and played along.

  “Okay, Dex.”

  “But…he doesn’t trust Mykail.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know,” I shook my head, my eyes locked on the table. “He more or less said that…if Mykail had been in the cells when we broke everyone out…he would have left Mykail behind.”

  “Okay, so ‘Dex,’” she enclosed his name in air quotations, “doesn’t trust Mykail and you don’t know why. What’s the problem?”

  I worried at my bottom lip with my teeth.

  “Um…things…got a little complicated since the last time you saw Mykail…” I said awkwardly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I…I mean, he and I…” I sighed and hung my head, my cheeks burning hot.

  Becca leaned back in her chair.

  “You’re not dating Clark at all, are you?” she whispered. “It’s Mykail.”

  I nodded, closing my eyes, thankful I had not had to say anything.

  “You’re in love with him?”

  I looked at her, feeling the tears come to my eyes and a raw ball of emotion jam into my throat as I tried to keep my composure.

  “…I thought I did…”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I mean…as soon as I found out that ‘Dex’ didn’t trust him…I didn’t really trust him, either. And that scares me.”

  “You don’t trust Mykail at all?” Becca looked at me skeptically. “You obviously trusted him enough before to…I mean, I only assume that you…”

  “We did,” I confirmed.

  “So, you still trust him,” she declared with a nod.

  “Not as much as I did…or as much as I should,” I murmured. “I mean, I trusted him without question and then as soon as ‘Dex’ says that he doesn’t trust him…”

  “Don’t be afraid, be aware,” Becca told me. “Remember those guest speakers that came to the school to talk to us about danger awareness back in Second Tier? They went to every school…They said to always trust that inner instinct when something feels wrong and get away from the situation. So, just follow your intuition.”

  “You don’t think I’m a horrible person for doubting him so easily?” I looked up meekly.

  “Lily, considering his past and what you’re involved in, I don’t think you’re horrible. I think you’re smart.” Becca reached across the table and took my hand. “Don’t beat yourself up thinking that you should feel a certain way. If you trust Dex more than you trust Mykail, there is nothing wrong with that.”

  “No?”

  “Trusting someone is not a bad thing, even in your position. Obviously, you trust him more than you trust the person you’re in a relationship with, which means he must have done something to earn it.”

  I chuckled.

  “I guess so…”

  “Is that what has you so worked up?”

  “Ugh, it’s everything…” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “I mean, what we did caused a lot of panic, then I started having my trust issues with Mykail, and then to top it off, my parents came back from Europe, so I have to be super sneaky again.”

  “How are your parents doing?”

  “Oh my God…” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “My mom is having an affair and she—”

  “She’s having an affair?! How do you know?”

  “I saw her with the other man,” I told her vaguely. She blinked at me and then leaned back in her chair, her eyes still wide. “What?”

  “I think my mom is having an affair, too, but I don’t know for sure…”

  “You’re mom?” I blinked, leaning forward. “Why do you think that?”

  “She and my dad have been fighting a lot. I’ve never heard them fight before, and now every night they’re arguing about one thing or another. My mom is saying that my father doesn’t pay enough attention to her and he blames her work for her not being around more often…then he accused her of being unfaithful…but…”

  “Parents fight and stay stupid stuff all the time,” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “I doubt she’s having an affair.”

  “She’s always on the phone with someone, giggling like a school girl…” Becca said, looking at me with a sad expression.

  I hesitated and then looked at the table.

  “That doesn’t necessarily mean anything…” I said. “Does your dad seem unhappy?”

  “Yeah…” Becca nodded. “He’s always moping around, looking at old pictures…” Becca looked up at me, her eyes frightened. “I’m pretty sure she’s having an affair. I can’t explain how I know…I just do…”

  I sighed, taking her hand and squeezing it gently.

  “Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it. Our parents can do whatever they want and we have no way to stop them.”

  “I’m sorry you saw your mom with the other guy,” Becca sighed, her eyes apologetic.

  “And I’m sorry that you’re going through this, too…” I said, shaking my head. “I’m so sorry…”

  Becca squeezed my hand.

  * *** *

  I had stayed out very late with Becca—past curfew. So, when I snuck in to the house, my parents were waiting for me in the dining room. They drilled me about where I had been, and I told them the truth—that I was at the coffee shop with Becca—they told me to never frighten them in such a manner again and sent me to bed.

  I went immediately to my bedroom, avoiding Mykail’s door like a child. I slipped into my room to put on my pajamas. I was exhausted and wanted to sleep.

  A part of me did feel guilty for avoiding Mykail in such an immature way, but I did not feel ready to speak to him. That, and I was physically exhausted. I was feeling the cumulative exhaustion of the past week catch up with me rapidly and I quickly fell into unconsciousness, huddled securely under my blankets.

  When I woke the following morning, my head was pounding angrily and I was shivering like a leaf. I groaned, realizing that I was sick. While I knew I was not in horrible health, I did not want to move, and being stuck inside the house all day, sleeping, sounded like a wonderful idea. My mom came to check on me when I did not come downstairs for breakfast and quickly brought me some soup and medicine, being quite attentive, as if I was six years old again.

  “You should rest for the rest of the weekend,” she said, setting my soup in front of me and running her hand over my hair. “You don’t want to start school feeling sick…”

  I wanted to ask her why she was suddenly being so kind when we had seemed set on killing one another before she left for Europe. But I did not want to start another fight, so I remained quiet. I took the opportunity to catch up on some much-needed sleep, as well as to read most of the assigned reading I had meant to do weeks before.

  It felt good to not do anything that day, and with my parents home, it gave me an excuse not to see Mykail. I knew I was acting silly, but I wanted some more time to work through my feelings so I would not say something rashly when I saw him.

  But when my parents went to the Commission meeting, leaving me behind, there was nothing stopping Mykail from coming into my room.

  I heard my door latch click and I felt my heart jump nervously into my throat. I wanted to kick myself for being so paranoid, but I was too worked up to scold myself.

  “Hey…” he smiled when he saw me on my bed, my book resting against my lap.

  “Hey.”

  “I was gett
ing really worried about you,” he murmured, sitting on my bed, reaching a hand out to take mine. “Are you feeling any better?”

  “A little,” I nodded. “I guess…everything just kinda caught up to me.”

  “Understandable. You have been on the go for a long time now. You needed the rest.” He squeezed my hand lovingly. My heart fluttered, and I found myself relieved. I still got giddy when he did something sweet. Slightly more relaxed now that I felt I was behaving what I considered normal, I smiled genuinely.

  “I’m sorry if I worried you.”

  “I just hate having to be so careful now that your parents are home. I had to pretend like I didn’t want to burst in here and cuddle with you until you went to sleep.”

  “You wanted to cuddle with me?” I teased.

  “Of course,” he chuckled. “I hope you didn’t feel like I was neglecting you, or anything…”

  “No, of course not,” I assured quickly. “I know how careful we have to be now.” I pecked a quick kiss on his lips. “And I’m sorry I can’t take you with me tomorrow.”

  “It’s okay,” Mykail assured, tenderly tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before placing his hand against my cheek. “Just don’t push yourself so hard that you become sick again.”

  “Okay.”

  “Mind if I sit with you?” he asked, moving so that he was lying on his side next to me. I smiled, picking up my book and pretending to read it. In reality I was listening to his breathing, thrilled that I still felt in love with him, despite the fact I did not trust him as much as before.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  “Okay, how are we going to do this?” Clark asked, glancing around the massive circle in the bunker.

  “Anyone have any ideas?” Tori chuckled.

  I was excited as I studied the massive group we had finally coordinated into a circle around the perimeter of the main bunker. Since everyone in the fort had had time to settle into a routine of living, it was time to get to know one another. Tori was calling it a therapy-support group, where everyone could talk about their family, their past, how they got into the Commission, as well as what had happened to them since. I knew it was going to be an emotionally heavy day with tears and painful stories, but I was hungry for information about the people I had helped free from the Commission of the People.