Chasing Casey

by Jane Anthony

  Nevertheless, AJ is the one in my dreams at night. His haunted gaze and sexy smile still flash behind my lids every time I close my eyes. Being with him was the first time I ever felt like I belonged, but then I come down here, and this feels right too.

  Two completely different men both hold two completely different pieces of my heart. My past has caught up to my present, making it impossible to move forward. It’s not fair. Not to me, and not to Austin. I can’t move on because I still want AJ.

  “I thought about it a thousand times, baby girl. Now, here you are.”

  “I’m here, but I’m not. A part of me still exists up north, Austin. I’m not ready to let it go yet.”

  “When you’re ready, I’ll be waiting. Always.”

  CHAPTER 21

  AJ

  BLOODCURDLING SCREAMS TEAR through my eardrums. I’m running, trying to find her, but the fog is so thick, and the night is so black, I can barely see my hands out in front of me. “Where are you?” I call, but the shrieks continue as if they’re coming from all directions.

  Bright light beams out of nowhere, blinding me. Crunching gravel, shattering glass, and those ear-piercing screams that just won’t stop. My feet leave the ground. Am I being pulled? I don’t know, but I’m moving. Backward. A gravitational feeling sits in my gut. My back hits the cold pavement. The smell of wet blacktop fills my nose. No, it’s not blacktop. It’s . . . dirt. Clean, fresh soil. It’s all around me.

  Sudden silence then the sound of digging. Through the black, I see her, though she has no face. Just golden rays of sunshine yellow hair blowing in the night. I can’t move. Piles of dirt fall on my legs, my stomach, my chest. She’s burying me alive. Or maybe I’m dead.

  The desperate wails begin again, louder and more shrill. I want to move, but I can’t. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. Another pile lands on my face, but this time, it’s glass. So much glass, twinkling as it cascades down on me in slow motion.

  “AJ!” The voice saying my name is haunted and hollow as if coming through a tunnel.

  “AJ!” I want to go toward it. I move and fight and claw my way through the wreckage.

  “AJ!” Silken strands of hair crumple in my fists. My eyes pop open, but all I see is darkness.

  My eyes focus. There’s no dirt, no glass, no fog. I’m safe and sound, lying in my bed alone and mangling the sheets with my hands. The dreams have not only increased in frequency, but they have also gotten much more intense ever since she left. Even after I’m awake, they continue to torment me until I can’t stand to be in my bed anymore.

  Letting Casey go out there alone was a stupid mistake. I should have gone with her, supported her. Now, I’m sitting around my lonely house worrying that I ruined what we had forever. Had I known our goodbye at the airport was the last time I’d see her, I would have held her tighter. Kissed her longer. Our romance was a whirlwind, but it was real. At least to me. Whoever made up that “it’s better to have loved and lost” bullshit is an idiot. I’d give anything not to feel this soul crushing weight that sits upon my chest and doesn’t seem to want to go away.

  Knowing I’ll never be able to sleep, I swipe my phone from the side table and sweep my thumb across the smooth glass front. It comes to life, a tiny sliver of light highlighting the gorgeous ocean eyes of the most beautiful girl in the world sitting as my background image. The need to see her hits me like a bucket of water. The tip of my finger traces the outline of her face as if I’m Gollum fondling the ring whispering, “My precious.” If I don’t do something soon, I’m going to end up in the friggin’ loony bin.

  I light up a smoke, contemplating my next move. It curls around my phone as I begin searching for the next available flight. I should have done this from day one. My job, my house, my life in New Jersey . . . none of it matters. Nothing is as important as she is. I just hope she still wants me when I get there.

  ***

  Casey said Texas was barren, but I wasn’t prepared for the full brunt of that statement. New Jersey is rich with trees and mountains, buildings and construction. There’s always a view and something to see on the horizon, whether it’s thick, dense woods or the New York City skyline. A state that was once nothing but farmland built up into an industrial wasteland. Congested and overcrowded.

  The state is loud, even in the suburbs. Our home may have been alone on a wooded lot, but behind that lot is a strip mall, and beyond that, a highway. Late at night, eighteen-wheelers would thunder down the road, bumping and rumbling as they passed. The Doppler Effect sound of motorcycles racing at high speed would pollute the airwaves. I’ve gotten so used to it that I don’t even notice it anymore. It’s part of the background noise of my life.

  Out here, everything is flat. The deserted land strings for miles with no end in sight. I’ve never seen anything like it before. It’s almost as if I can see to the ends of the Earth. The highway stretches out in front of me, a long line disappearing into a never-ending V with no other cars on it. It’s eerie.

  Off the highway stands a small sign post with the name Grainger burned into the worn wooden plaque. Gravel crunches under my tires as I veer up the winding dirt road under a freestanding log structure announcing that Grainger Ranch is up ahead between the endless trails of white washed picket fencing on either side.

  It’s a little greener over here and slightly less desolate. In the far-off distance, mountains stand proud against the evening sky. It’s beautiful. Another world. No construction, no trash, no cursing commuters veering in and out of lanes—just acres and acres of undeveloped land, pristine, untouched, and very, very dry.

  It’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop. If I strain hard enough, I can hear the sleepy sounds of toads croaking by the pond or the occasional neigh of a horse somewhere on the property, but even that’s so far off it’s hardly noticeable.

  Casey and I are from two very different worlds. I finally see it firsthand. Mine is a fast frenzy of loud, brash rock ‘n’ roll, while hers is a slower, simpler kind of life. One that strums a quiet tune on your heartstrings.

  While hopping on the next plane to Texas wasn’t my initial plan, I am a little excited to see where Casey comes from and feel her familial roots in the place that raised her. You can learn so much from a person that way. Humans have a tendency to adapt to their surroundings, but try as they might, they can never shed where they came from. It’s an integral part of a person’s history. The biggest piece of who they are.

  I park the only available rental car they had, a hideous school bus yellow Kia Soul, next to the pond down a ways from the house. It’s dusk, but it’s so hot I can barely breathe as I follow the path to Casey’s new home. With its lemonade porch and beautiful bay windows, the quaint farmhouse is something out of a storybook. There’s even a porch swing rocking in the gentle breeze passing under the overhang.

  One lone light in the house is on, but no one answers when I knock on the front door. I follow the porch around, hoping to find her home, but what I find stops me in my tracks. The rhythmic clop-clop-clop of hooves echoes between the house and the barn. A majestic, black horse jogs around the track, guided by the angel sitting on his back. The ends of her blond hair carry on the wind as she makes her way around the track, but the black ball cap shielding her eyes hides most of it from sight. The milky skin I see every time I close my eyes is bronze now and shines in the soft sunlight still peeking out from behind the mountains.

  From the porch, I watch the way she holds the reins and squeezes her legs, commanding the beast to move faster or slower at her will. She captivates me. Owns me. I may as well sleep in the stable with the rest of the animals she controls.

  Casey steers the horse toward the stable, dismounts, and disappears inside. My feet propel me forward. Hay crunches underfoot as I step lightly into the stable. “I don’t mean to stare, but you look an awful lot like this girl I used to know.”

  She jumps, gasping at the sound of my voice, and turns toward me. “AJ,” she whispers. The blood
drains from her face. “What are you doing here?”

  How is it possible that she’s more beautiful now than she was at the beginning of the summer? I don’t even care what happened. The call, Austin, it all flew into the atmosphere the second I laid eyes on her again. The only phrase that runs through my head is I love you, but those three little words could make or break me if she doesn’t feel the same way.

  “Saying I’m sorry just didn’t seem like enough.”

  A lock of hair twirls around her finger, one way then the other, surrounding me in its flowery scent as she steps closer. Horses huff and puff in their stalls waiting to be tended to, but her eyes are locked on me. “So you came all the way out here?”

  “Of course.” I pluck the Zildjian cap off her head and slip it onto mine. “How else was I gonna get my hat back?”

  She rolls her eyes, flipping the lock of hair over her shoulder in a huff. My jokes aren’t going to cut it this time. If I want back in her good graces, I’m going to have to grovel a bit. “I’m an asshole, Case. I lost my cool, and I really am sorry. You still my girl?”

  “I haven’t heard from you in a week. I thought you were done with me, and now you’re standing here expectin’ me to jump right back in your arms? Not quite, city boy. You need to work for it.”

  Her glittering eyes, her quivering lips—I can see she’s not nearly as angry as she’s letting on. “A little hard work never bothered me.”

  Overcome with want, I fuse my lips to hers. The sweet taste of her mouth kick starts my pulse, now pounding with possessive need. I have to have her. The sexy way she breathes my name already echoes in my mind. I need to bury myself so deep inside her that it makes up for these last few months apart and soothes the trembling desire radiating from her until I know she’s mine.

  “You think . . . a few . . . sultry little kisses . . . are gonna . . . make it all better?” she whispers defiantly against my mouth, but her hungry lips devour mine as her nails rake across my back. The fiery inferno inside her burns hot; I can feel it seeping through her clothes.

  “The first thing I plan to work on is getting you out of these shorts.”

  CHAPTER 22

  Casey

  HAVING AJ IN my room makes me feel naughty. I’ve never had a boy in this bedroom before. Not even Austin. “No boys upstairs” was a hard and fast rule. One Gran wasn’t about to bend on. A girl’s room is a private place. However, right now, all my private places are open for business as AJ’s mouth treks across my skin with a luscious mix of nips and kisses. His tongue runs over every freckle and every pore until the throbbing in my core is unbearable.

  The bedroom door sits open a crack. Footsteps pad across the flattened area rug, but I’m too enthralled with AJ’s mouth to care. Austin stands at the foot of my bed. He doesn’t yell. Doesn’t freak. Just stays there watching as AJ continues to tease my body manic.

  Still on my knees, I fall limp, resting on my hands, as I bask in the feeling of AJ’s lips sliding over every inch of exposed skin. My head falls back between my shoulder blades, and my eyes lock on Austin’s. The way he watches, ravaging me with his gaze, unleashes a demon inside. One that seems to reach out and pull him onto the bed with us. With a slow, sensual crawl, he slinks up behind me.

  “Austin . . .”

  “No more talkin’, baby girl. From here on out, I only want to hear you moan.”

  One pair of hands slides my bra off my shoulders, while another unhooks the back. I’m sandwiched between two warm bodies, feasted on by two scalding mouths, and driven mad by the sound of two men growling my name in unison, as they push my panties off my hips.

  My head feels fogged, clouded over with lust and confusion. “I can’t have you both,” I whisper, but the feeling of dual erections pressing against my bare flesh makes it hard to want anything else.

  AJ’s gray gaze flits up and down my naked body with carnal hunger. He blows out a long, slow breath across my dampened skin, hardening my nipples into stiff peaks. “But you want us both.” Two calloused fingers trail up my thigh. “You want me here . . .” They slip inside me, as Austin’s hands come from behind and glide up my throat to finger my mouth. “In this wet little pussy.”

  Austin pulls his fingers from my mouth and slides them over the curve of my rear. “While I fuck you here . . .” His saliva covered finger slips between my cheeks and pushes into my backside, stretching the taut flesh where no one’s ever been before. “In your tight little asshole.”

  “Is this what you want, cowgirl? You ride my cock while Austin rides your ass?”

  They work me over with their hands, making it impossible to think straight enough to answer. I’m lost in the mindless pleasure of the two men who hold my heart filling me completely. Rough and rhythmic in the front, slow and steady from behind, they’re total opposites yet share one common ground. They don’t just want to fuck me; they want to own me. Swallow my broken pieces inside themselves then spit me out whole again—shiny, new, and theirs, to do with what they please. Fighting this aching desire is pointless. They’re right. I want them to own me. Both of them.

  I’m reduced to a gyrating pile of whimpers and whines. Their stimulating hands keep me from falling over as the storm begins to brew.

  “Come for us, cowgirl.”

  The buildup swirls in my tailbone, twisting around, roiling through my gut until I feel like I’m about to unravel. I fuse my mouth to AJ’s, filling it with the keening cry that tears from my lungs as I come apart, still riding both their hands for dear life.

  I sit up with a gasp, soaked in sweat, alone in my bed. The area between my thighs is slick and pounding. “Holy hell!” I catch my reflection in the mirror ahead. An aroused flush mars my cheeks, but the bite marks on my neck are a reminder that not all of it was a dream. AJ did show up here unannounced. What started in the stable, ended in my bed, and I didn’t get the chance to introduce him and Austin properly.

  I need to find him.

  Before Austin does.

  But I’m too late. Voices bark at each other from downstairs. The words muffle through my bedroom door, but the tension seeps under the crack.

  The voices get louder as I race down the stairs. An irate Rebel and a smart-ass Yankee go head to head in Gran’s kitchen. AJ and Austin ram into one another like goats locking horns, but I’m too stunned by the sight of them to move at first. Just like my dream, they’re shirtless in jeans. Two bare chests, each puffed out, overexerting dominance that unleashes so much pure testosterone into the space that I’m chewing on it.

  Trying my best to ignore the awkward uprising of hormones threatening to burn me to soot, I run toward both men and push them apart.

  “This guy claims he’s a friend of yours. That true?” The divot between Austin’s eyebrows is so deep I could fit my pinky in it. This is bad. Add a check in the box marked Poor Decision Skills and add it to the pile. A blind man could have seen this coming. Why didn’t I?

  “He is, Austin.”

  “You’re Austin?” AJ pushes the thick swatch of raven hair from his forehead with both hands and holds it there while the wheels in his head turn at a furious pace.

  Something somehow got lost in translation. Judging by AJ’s reaction, he was picturing some toothless yokel, not a tall thirty-year-old man with dark brown hair and flawless abs.

  “Oh, you’ve heard of me? Nice to know she’s talked to someone about somethin’!”

  “That’s not true. I told you I was seein’ someone. I never lied to you about that.”

  “But I thought you were done sowin’ your wild oats when you came back! How long am I supposed to wait, Casey Jane?” I’ve never seen Austin’s eyes this wild and manic. Foaming at the mouth, he’s lost all semblance of self-control. I don’t know how to fix this. “Did you ever love me at all?”

  I keep my eyes trained on Austin, too terrified to see the expression I can only imagine is on AJ’s face. This isn’t how this was supposed to go down, but the lid has popped off the box, an
d since I can’t shove it all back in, I may as well empty it for good. Put on some music; let the skeletons dance right out of my closet for all to see.

  “I loved you so much I couldn’t stand it, but I couldn’t be your wife, Austin! I’m not the kind of girl you’re lookin’ for.” A river of tears leak down each cheek, one after the other, until the hurt on Austin’s face is nothing but a blur in front of me. “Raising a hundred kids on a farm was your dream, not mine. Davis made me an offer, and I took it!”

  A bang thunders through the room as Austin’s fists come down on the kitchen table. “Don’t you fuckin’ say his name in this house!” Austin’s furious outburst makes me jump. He’s never cussed at me. Not one time in all the years I’ve known him. “Second thought? Nah. Call him up; go ahead. We can have a reunion tour of all the guys you’ve fucked behind my back.”

  The serrated edge of his hateful words cut jagged pieces of my heart off in bite-sized pieces. You’re not allowed to be angry, Casey. You did this. Deal with it. Take the backlash; you deserve it.

  “How many more times can I apologize? I can’t take it back, Austin. And I wouldn’t want to. Davis was a bastard on wheels, but he’s a part of my past, just like you are.”

  “I’m not sticking around for this. I’m out of here!” AJ shouts with quivering lips. The screen door slaps as he pushes through it, walking away from the crushing weight of tension in the kitchen.

  I head for the door, but Austin’s fingers close around my forearm. “Don’t you run out on me again!” I try my best to wrench my arm from his tightly clasped fingers, but his grip holds strong. “I’m warnin’ you, Casey Jane.”

  “Let me go!”

  The morning grass is dewy under my bare feet as I run outside. “AJ!” He stops yet keeps his back to me as I get closer. Smoke plumes all around him as he dips his head and lights a cigarette. “What are you so mad at?” I pant, trying to catch my breath.