Sebastian - Dark Bonds

by Janey Rosen

  My fingernails dig painfully into the palms of my hands, my neck strains against wood, my teeth bite on plastic, the tremors build and build until the orgasm so desperately needed erupts in a million pieces, then radiates through every sinew of my body. My back arches and I’m shuddering so badly that my legs grow weak.

  His breath quickens as he continues to pound me, his hips grinding as he thrusts deeper still. I hear his breath catch as he reaches his own glorious climax and he stills as his warm semen spurts.

  “Fuck, oh fuck yes.” He folds forward against my back, his skin slick with sweat, his chest hairs tickling my over sensitive skin.

  “Fuck. I love you, Elizabeth.” He loves me! Oh my God, finally he tells me he loves me. It’s taken a beating and degradation for him to say it … but he’s said it and the pain no longer matters.

  Sebastian peels himself from me and removes the plug, leaving my muscles there quivering. The creak of the wood signals a welcome release from the stocks and he helps me to stand, my back and neck aching, my wrists sore. He unfastens the gag and carefully removes the ball, before untying the blindfold. My eyes blink as they adjust to the light. My lips feel numb and my legs weak. I feel light headed as though the blood is rushing to my head and the room spins.

  Sebastian scoops me up in his arms, unlocks the door to the inner chamber and lays me tenderly on the circular bed. The satin sheet gives cooling relief to my smarting skin and my shoulders heave as sobs escape from my lips. He lies down beside me and gathers me in his arms.

  “That’s right Elizabeth, let me have your tears. I’m so proud of you. You’ve made me so happy.” He sooths me, and strokes my cheek as the tears flow, moistening his chest. “Don’t hate me though, Elizabeth. Christ, I can’t bear it if you hate me.”

  “I … I don’t h-hate you,” I sniff, “I love y-you.”

  “And I love you, darling. I love you so very much. That you would give yourself to me, as you have, makes me love you more deeply than you can ever imagine.”

  His voice calms me as he pulls the silky satin over my weary body and I sleep.

  My eyes blink open and for a moment I wonder where I am but finding comfort in the womb like surroundings of the chamber. Rolling cautiously onto my side, ouch it stings, I face Sebastian who is lying on his side, staring intently at me.

  “How long have I been sleeping?” I murmur drowsily.

  “Only an hour or so. I’ve been watching you. Did you know you talk in your sleep, Elizabeth?” A smile plays on his lips, I trace my index finger along his lower lip and he kisses it lightly.

  “What did I say? What an absolute freaking pervert you are?”

  He smiles warmly, it lights up his whole face when he smiles like this I wish he would smile more.

  “Actually, Mrs. Dove, you told me you loved me again. It’s becoming a habit.”

  “A good habit, or an annoying habit?” My finger plays with his bottom lip, he bites the finger playfully, making me giggle. I like playful Sebastian.

  “A very good habit. It’s understandable, I’m pretty lovable.” He bites harder, then takes my index finger into his mouth and sucks hard on it. Delicious shivers prickle my spine and I climb on top of him, wincing at the sting of my buttocks as I straddle him. We kiss deeply, passionately as my eager pussy rubs against his erection and this time I take him - my pace, my terms.

  By the time we emerge from the vaults of the house, to my surprise it’s nearly eight o’clock at night. Feeling remorseful that we haven’t fed Bella, or indeed paid her any attention today I set out to find her. My daughter is sprawled across her bed listening to music when I enter her room. She tugs out the ear buds and scowls at me.

  “Where have you been?” she asks.

  “Sorry, love, Sebastian’s been showing me his wine cellar. He’s quite a collector of fine wines, it’s fascinating.” The lie makes me blush guiltily.

  “Cool, well it would be nice to see more of my mother at some point, must be a bloody interesting cellar,” she says pointedly.

  “Fair point. We’ll be back home soon so you can catch up with your friends. I know it’s been a bit boring for you but the rest is doing us both good.”

  “Whatever.” She replaces the ear buds and dismisses me with a sarcastic wave. I make a mental note to spend more time with my daughter tomorrow. She’s had a tough few months and it can’t be much fun being holed up in this big old house.

  “Why don’t you see if there are any discos in the area?”

  She rolls her eyes at me disdainfully, “are you still here?” she asks loudly over the music drumming through her buds. Sighing, I leave the petulant teenager and take a shower.

  Sebastian is in the great hall with Scarlett. She is setting the table for dinner while he sips a gin and tonic, resting back on a dining chair.

  “Dinner will be ready in ten minutes, Mrs. Dove.” Scarlett is so damned efficient, she puts me to shame and she knows it.

  “You shouldn’t have cooked, I was about to do it,” I say sulkily.

  “Elizabeth. How was your shower?” Sebastian eyes my damp hair and tracksuit bottoms, slippers and baggy tee. His expression is impassive - he’s so mercurial I can never predict his mood. “Sit down. Drink your gin and tonic, no ice, slice of lime – just how I like it,” he nods toward the table setting opposite him where my drink awaits. I note he has prepared the gin how he likes. I prefer ice.

  “Thank you, very thoughtful,” I sip the not cold enough aperitif and welcome the relaxing effects of the gin.

  “You’ve been quite the busy bee, haven’t you?” He’s regarding me darkly, his index finger circling the rim of his glass. Oh crap, what have I done now?

  “Oh? Have I?”

  “You have, yes. Visiting senile old ladies, telephoning my friends, goodness I don’t know how you find time to fit in so much underhandedness in one day.” He cocks an eyebrow at me, as he does when I’m in trouble, which is frequently it seems.

  “And you would know all this because …” I lower my gaze from his and study the lime in my glass.

  “Because you don’t do underhandedness very well, clearly.”

  How the hell does he know all this? I’m guessing Marcus called him, but how does he know about my visit with Christina?

  Scarlett scurries off to the kitchen, leaving me to face Sebastian alone.

  “Please be a little more discreet, Elizabeth. You are fully aware that Scarlett is in touch with Christina, so you should have considered that Christina would of course impart your entire conversation to Scarlett. Which she did and Scarlett then informed me.”

  What? The interfering witch, you wait until I get Scarlett alone later. I cast him a scowl and open my mouth to protest, but he raises a hand to silence me.

  “Don’t interrupt. Don’t you dare look me in the eye.”

  I close my mouth and look down at my glass, now devoid of gin.

  “Uncross your legs.”

  Obediently, I do so. Damn him, he’s so bossy.

  “Your actions today have embarrassed me, Elizabeth. Not only that, you’ve demonstrated a callous absence of loyalty and very poor judgment. What the hell were you hoping to achieve by going behind my back in this way?”

  Fidgeting with glass, I try to think of an appropriate excuse for my meddling.

  “You will answer me. Now.”

  25

  I’m fidgeting in my chair nervously, considering how to best phrase my answer. “I just wanted to find out more – about Libby, about you … I hardly know anything about you, not really anyway.”

  “I see.” He strokes his finger across his bottom lip. I can see his sullen expression as I tentatively peer up through my lashes.

  “Do you think it unreasonable that I would expect you to come to me if you wish to know about me? Eyes down.”

  “You said I only had to avert my eyes in the chamber,” retorting grumpily, my eyes lower again.

  “You haven’t earned the right to look me in the eye.
You say you want to be submissive, Elizabeth, and yet at every opportunity you defy and betray me. How can this relationship work between us if the very foundations of trust aren’t there?”

  I hadn’t thought of it like that. Do I trust him? Perhaps not, maybe that’s why I’m a terrible submissive!

  “I have to trust you too, Sebastian, and when you keep secrets from me, I lose respect for you.”

  “Respect, Elizabeth? Who is the man whom has given you respite from the shit going on in your life? Who was there for you when you life was in tatters? Who held you when you cried after Joe and Alan?” He spits the words venomously. “Who has offered you everything … to take all your worries from your shoulders? Who is liberating you so that you can find your true self? Answer me, damn it.”

  “You, and you don’t need to remind me about the accident – there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t torture myself or miss Joe. I know you were there for me, I don’t honestly know how I could have survived without you.” My voice is a whisper, his words sting. It’s a low blow to bring the accident into the argument.

  “Correct. Me. Have I not, then, earned the right to be respected? Have I not proven myself to be the man you need? Well?”

  “Yes you have. You are the man I need. Can I say something please?”

  He sighs. I glance up fleetingly. He is massaging his temples, strain visible on his gorgeous face.

  “Go on,” he says curtly.

  “I went to see Christina because I wanted to know what happened to Libby, but also because of Scarlett. She told me everything, Sebastian.”

  “Did she now?” he mumbles sullenly.

  “Yes. It’s confusing for me. I wanted to get the full picture before talking to you about it all. Scarlett’s really changed and Libby changed too - I felt that Christina would be able to tell me why, from a more distant perspective.”

  “I see. Go on.”

  “She showed me photographs of Libby, how she used to be, and then how she became.”

  “When she was married to me, you mean?”

  “Well, yes.”

  “So you immediately blamed me for her demise.” He sighs deeply. “And the old bat will have painted me as the devil personified of course.”

  “No. I don’t know. It got me thinking about how you are, your dominance, and why you’re like that. She suggested I speak to Marcus because he’s your oldest friend. I knew you wouldn’t be happy about it, but I needed to piece the jigsaw together and so I called him.”

  “I know you did. He called me immediately after you’d called him. I understand we’re having dinner with them tomorrow night.”

  It’s hard to know if he’s still angry with me. His lighter tone is probably deceptive.

  “So you planned to interrogate my friend in the hope that he would spill forth some dark secret which would explain why all the women in my life are fucked up?”

  Yes. “No of course not. I just want to understand you better. I need to understand your relationship with Scarlett better too.”

  “What exactly is your understanding?”

  “According to her, you and she had a relationship, it’s over now … but you still punish her.”

  “Is that what she told you?”

  “Yes. Is it true?” Please say it isn’t true.

  His teeth chew at his bottom lip as he considers his reply. “Yes. It is but I’ve been pretty screwed up in recent years. We had a very brief fling, but that was over before I met you. She’s a mixed up young lady, Elizabeth. Don’t believe everything she tells you.”

  Right on cue, Scarlett knocks lightly on the door.

  “Come,” he snaps.

  “Dinner is ready, can I call Bella and serve?” She tentatively peers around the door.

  “Yes, yes. Our discussion is over. Serve dinner.”

  It’s far from over, I reflect. For now, though, we will outwardly enjoy a peaceful dinner with Bella and store the ‘discussion’ for another time.

  Joe and Bella are playing in the sand on the beach, and the sun is shining. Bella is burying Joe up to his neck, and Alan and I are laughing as he wiggles his toes, before Bella can cover them with the sandy pile. The sand turns darker, and it becomes soil and his toes are not wiggling any more. I tell Bella to stop. Enough. Let Joe get out now he’ll catch cold in the ground Bella. Now the beach is a graveyard, and Alan is putting more soil on Joe’s head. I’m running to Joe, but as fast as I run his muddy grave gets further away, and now Alan’s pushing damp soil into Joe’s mouth and he can’t breath and I can’t run any faster.

  “Elizabeth, wake up!” Sebastian’s voice tears me from the graveyard and I open my eyes, startled.

  “You were having the nightmare again, darling.” He kisses my lips tenderly and brushes a damp curl from my cheek.

  “It’s the one on the beach again.” Shuddering as the last remnants of tormented sleep ebb away, I curl up in Sebastian’s arms, seeking his protection and reassurance.

  “It’s over, darling.”

  “It’ll never be over,” I whisper.

  “Come on. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. I’m taking my girls out for a treat. Get dressed and meet me downstairs in twenty.” He ruffles my hair with his large hand and springs from the bed.

  “You know I hate surprises. Where are we going?” My mood lifts marginally, it will be lovely to take Bella out, a real family outing. Family. Fighting against the negative thoughts, I do as I’m told and get up. When dressed, I wake Bella and, with some coaxing, she complies and grumpily gets up and dresses.

  Sebastian drives us to Padstow. It in indeed a beautiful day, as we travel down the hill to the harbour, Bella and I marvel as the sun shimmers on the sapphire sea, giving the look of a million crystals sparkling on the swell. We park up outside the National Lobster Hatchery.

  “Come on, we’re going to explore.” Sebastian links arms with Bella and I and we giggle at his boyish excitement as we enter the hatchery. It’s fascinating, even my sulky teenage daughter appears enthralled as we glimpse the marine laboratory.

  “Local fishermen bring in pregnant female lobsters,” Sebastian tells us. “They rear their young here in captivity so they have the best chance of survival, away from predators.”

  “How sweet. Then they’re boiled alive and eaten,” laughs my sardonic daughter.

  “No, Bella,” Sebastian corrects. “Then they’re released back into the ocean. Then they’re caught in lobster pots, boiled alive and eaten.” I swipe at him with a visitor brochure but he catches my hand and tickles me unrelentingly, encouraging Bella to join in until we all double over with cathartic laughter.

  Leaving the hatchery we drive down to the harbour and park next to the quay which is bustling with tourists - some are watching fishermen preparing a plethora of boats of varying sizes, others are ambling past the galleries and gift shops. Sebastian leads us in to a café and we enjoy a delicious brunch of Cornish pasties and coffee.

  “This is such a lovely day, thank you Sebastian,” I smile.

  “You haven’t had your surprise yet,” he grins at Bella and I mischievously.

  “What are you up to?”

  “Come. We’re going fishing.”

  The Lady Martha takes us to sea, cutting through the foamy swell, we don’t venture far from the rocky shore. Our skipper, Bob Tanner is a jovial man with sun-kissed skin and a booming voice. Sebastian has chartered the vessel for four hours, which is hopefully enough time to snag some mackerel.

  “What do you think of her?” Sebastian calls from the angling platform to the rear of the smart Evolution 38.

  “She’s fabulous,” I call back, windswept and exhilarated. The skipper is trying to teach me how to ‘work’ the fishing tackle and rod and it’s plain I’m testing his patience.

  “Let me do it for yer,” he finally says in defeat. Joining Bella and Sebastian, who are both competently casting their lines to sea, I set about trying to fish.

  Three hours later we have bass,
mackerel and Bob has snared a 4ft long porbeagle shark, which he declared was small. Bob produces a cool box containing a basic packed lunch and we ravenously devour every crumb. It’s been a wonderful day. Arriving back at Padstow harbor, we wake farewell to our skipper and walk wearily back to the car.

  “Thank you so much, Sebastian. It’s been the best day ever,” Bella declares.

  “Not too nerdy was it?” he teases.

  “Not at all, for an old man you’re alright.” She play punches his arm, which he reciprocates. It’s heart warming to see them so happy and relaxed.

  “Mrs. Dove, I think we should get home so that you can make yourself look even more beautiful for tonight. I want to see Marcus’s face when he sees what a babe I’ve snared.”

  “You men, you’re so funny. Thank you darling for such a wonderful day. I really mean it, it’s been therapeutic.” On tiptoes, I plant a big kiss on his cheek.

  Sebastian pulls up the zip on the black cocktail dress he selected for me from the armoire. Presumably Scarlett chose it, but much as that smarts, it does flatter my figure well. I fasten my choker around my throat and turn to show Sebastian.

  “You look good enough to eat,” he eyes me speculatively.

  “Play your cards right, mister, and that’s precisely what you can do later,” I purr.

  He looks striking in charcoal trousers, a white pin-stripe shirt and silver tie. He forgoes a jacket as it’s a balmy June evening.

  Sebastian insists that Bella accompany us, apparently Marcus has a son, Theo, who is nineteen and he’s certain Bella will like him.

  “Where do they live?” I enquire, as we drive away from Penmorrow.

  “Camelford. It’s a twenty minute drive, we should be there on time,” he replies. “You’ll like their house, it’s quite something.”

  Twenty-five minutes later we arrive at a fine Georgian manor house. It is by no means as grand as Penmorrow, but still impressive.

  “Girling Hall.” The name is familiar. Where have I heard that name before?

  “Marcus is new money, darling,” says Sebastian. “He’s a property developer who has done incredibly well. When we were at Plymouth University together, I honestly didn’t think he’d ever take anything seriously enough to stick at it. Let’s just say he was the playboy amongst us, and not the sharpest in terms of brains.”