Song Chaser (Chasers)

by Kandi Steiner

  “Water?”

  “No, it’s a natural thing. You might stand under a building to get it.”

  “Shade?”

  “Yes!” I yell and flip over the next card. The word is snore.

  “Okay, my dad does this at night when he –“

  BUZZ! I turn and look up at David. “Can’t say night!” he yells.

  “Dang!” I flip the next card.

  “No more rookie moves, Frecks, we need four again now!”

  I go through the next five cards and we get four of them, but I have to pass on one. We still need one more to win because you lose a point for every card you get buzzed on or skip. I flip the next card.

  The word is sweat.

  Really? Of all words?

  “Uh, okay. Well, we did this today,” I say, struggling not to say the buzz words.

  Tanner lifts his brow at me and looks over at his parents, “Uh, Frecks?”

  My eyes grow wide because I know exactly what he’s thinking. I try to keep my cool and not give away the fact that we totally boned in his parents’ house. “Outside, before your mom got home.”

  Now they’re all looking at me with raised eyebrows.

  Shit.

  My face feels like it’s on fire and I’m pretty sure I’m the color of Sharon’s hot pink socks.

  “Uh, um, you know, while we were playing basketball.” As soon as I say it I regret it, because before I have the chance to say something else, Tanner yells out what I should have seen coming.

  “Strip?”

  I slap my hands over my face just as Sharon yells, “Time!” She and David start laughing so hard I think they might have tears in their eyes and Tanner puts his arms around my shoulders, chuckling.

  “It was sweat,” I groan, my face still buried in my hands.

  “Close enough,” he laughs. “Looks like we lost.”

  “Victorious!” David yells and he and Sharon high five. I lift my head and try to avoid their eyes, though they don’t seem fazed in the slightest. Sharon is already up grabbing another wine cooler and she winks at me as she passes. David is looking at Tanner like a proud dad at a baseball game when his little guy hits the ball and gets on base for the first time.

  And I thought this would be awkward.

  Tanner kisses me swiftly. “Sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind,” he whispers.

  “I’m sure it was,” I glare at him, but a smile is trying to fight its way onto my face. I can’t be mad at this boy for long. Suddenly, my phone starts vibrating on the coffee table. I pick it up and see Mee Ma’s name on the screen.

  Saved by the nosy relative.

  “It’s Mee Ma. I’ll be right back,” I say, holding up the screen and excusing myself. I’m pretty sure my face is still on fire from embarrassment, so I head out on the back porch to get some air, Jack running under my feet and bounding into the yard, too.

  “Hey Mee Ma. Remind me to thank you for your impeccable timing when it comes to phone calls,” I say, breathing in the cool air.

  “Uh oh, did I interrupt something? Wait, did I interrupt something something?”

  “Oh my God, Mee Ma.”

  “What? I’m just being courteous.”

  I laugh, “How was the rest of your Thanksgiving?”

  “Oh you know how it is over here. We had a nice meal and then your father watched football and Seth and I put up the Christmas decorations. The better question is how was your Thanksgiving?”

  I blush again, thankful for the crisp air to cool my cheeks. “It was… interesting.”

  “Oh, do tell! Wait, let me grab a piece of pumpkin pie,” she says excitedly and I hear dishes clattering in the background. It’s almost like I can see her in our tiny kitchen, reaching up on her tip toes to grab a plate. I sigh, wishing I was there having a piece with her.

  “Well I don’t have much time to talk, but I can tell you this… he sang for me.”

  “He what?” she asks. “Wow, I may have underestimated this boy.”

  I can’t help it – I lean my back against the house and allow myself to swoon, staring out at the water and remembering Tanner’s voice. “Oh Mee Ma, it was so sweet. And it wasn’t some cheesy song, and he actually sounded good – no, amazing. I’ve never heard a voice like that, Mee Ma.”

  “I bet he can’t hold a candle to your voice, sweetie.”

  “You might be surprised,” I laugh softly. Mee Ma goes to respond, but then covers the phone with her hand and I can hear her muffled voice along with a deeper one. I swallow hard, feeling the laughter fade.

  “Is that Dad?” I ask, wanting to know and yet afraid of the answer.

  “Uh,” I know she’s fumbling for words, trying to think of another excuse for him. My fists clench together. She shouldn’t have to do this for him, he should talk to me. I’m his daughter, for Christ’s sake.

  “Put him on the phone, Mee Ma.”

  She pauses and I almost check my phone to make sure the call didn’t drop when I finally hear her whispering softly, “It’s Kellee.”

  Another pause.

  And then the same five words I always hear.

  “Tell her I’m not here.”

  I bite my lip hard, trying to focus on the pain of my teeth sinking into my flesh instead of the stinging knot in my throat. Wetness threatens my eyes and I hold them open wide, refusing to blink and let one single tear fall.

  Mee Ma speaks softly, “I’m sorry, sweetie. Maybe you can come home for Christmas and see him.”

  “I have to go,” I whisper, afraid of my voice cracking. “I love you. Tell Seth, too.” I end the call and grip the phone between my hands, letting my head fall back against the wall. Damn him! How is it that he still can’t stand to talk to me? Do I really remind him of her so much? Will I ever have him in my life again?

  I shake my head and shove my phone back in my pocket, running my fingers through my hair before walking back inside. David and Sharon are nowhere to be seen and Tanner is sitting by the fireplace, adjusting the logs with the fire poker. He looks up at me and his smile falls as he assesses my face. I try to smile, but fail miserably. Instead I offer a small shrug and tuck my hands in my front pockets.

  Tanner stands and walks over, pulling me into him. He wraps his arms tightly around me and rests his chin on my head. I breathe in his scent slowly, focusing on keeping it together. I will not break, I don’t care, it doesn’t matter.

  He pulls back a little, still holding me. “You know, I don’t want to brag or anything, but I make a mean cup of hot chocolate,” he flashes his sideways grin.

  I laugh softly, “You always want to brag.”

  Tanner kisses my forehead, grabbing my hand and leading me into the kitchen. I feel the weight of my dad crushing down on me, but somehow his hand in mine relieves the pressure, his arms around me hold me together. It’s like his skin touching mine grounds me, like it pulls in every floating piece of me and makes it all fit together.

  And that is both an incredible and a petrifying thing.

  Chapter 21

  Distraction

  Tanner

  My hands are weaved into Kellee’s hair, her lips pressed to mine as the fire dances on her skin. She runs her hands up my chest and around my shoulders, pulling me toward her as she climbs into my lap. Her tongue tastes like chocolate, and when she moves her hips against me I instantly harden and almost give up on talking. But, as much as I can’t wait to be inside her again, I know she’s dealing with something right now and I want to be there for her.

  “You’re trying to distract me,” I groan against her lips.

  “Is it working?” she asks softly, kissing down my neck.

  “I think we both know the answer to that,” I say, thrusting my hips up a little so she feels my hard on.

  She smiles against my neck and bites it softly, “I like that answer.”

  I bite my lip and groan. This girl is fucking good. I grab her arms and turn her around, pulling her into my lap and facing us both towa
rd the fire. I wrap my arms around her and set my chin on her shoulder, “Come on, I’m serious. Tell me what happened.”

  Kellee sighs, but doesn’t fight me. She leans back against me and runs her thumb in lazy circles on my forearm. “It’s my dad,” she says softly, her eyes fixed on the fire.

  “Did he say something to you about your mom again?”

  She shakes her head, taking a long pause before answering me, “No, but honestly at this point I would take him saying something to me about her if it meant he would talk to me at all.” She presses her lips together into a hard line and I squeeze her a little tighter, waiting for her to continue when she’s ready. I remember when I was telling her about Paisley the morning after my breakdown at The Box. Kellee had sat there patiently, letting me talk when I found the words, not prodding and not asking questions. Now it’s my turn.

  “I’m just so over him using my mom as an excuse, and even more over him using Mee Ma as his middle man. She shouldn’t have to lie to me, she shouldn’t have to cover for such a coward.”

  I nod, “I know. Have you thought about making him sit down and talk to you?”

  “I don’t know, I’ve thought about it but I don’t think I could get him to actually talk, even if I did straight up ask him. I’m also not sure I want to hear what he would have to say. We used to talk every day, used to be so close until the day I told him I wanted to go to college and I was leaving. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me,” she shakes her head a little. “It was exactly the way he looked the morning we found out Mom had left. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain, he just grouped me in the same category as her. He turned his back on me that day and I don’t know if I can forgive him for that.”

  I run my fingers through her hair and wait for her to continue. I can’t say that I blame her for feeling the way she does. If my dad or mom ever did it to me, I wouldn’t know how to react. I sure as hell wouldn’t be as strong as Kellee is, dealing with the silence while feeling guilty for wanting more in life.

  “The worst part is I’m majoring in business for him, because maybe if I get a business degree he will understand since his grandpa started the business our family still owns. All I really want to do is get my degree in music education, but I know that would just disappoint him more. I could just hear him now talking about how ‘music is a hobby, not a job’.”

  “Wait a second,” I pull Kellee to face me. “Frecks, if you really want to go into music education, then do it. Fuck what your dad thinks.”

  “It’s not that easy, Tanner,” she sighs.

  “Why not? Kellee,” I lift her chin so that our eyes meet. “Do you honestly think you getting a degree in business is going to make him act any different? Do you think he’s ever going to go back to normal unless you move back home and work on the farm for the rest of your life?”

  She shrugs, pressing her lips together again.

  “Listen, you majoring in something you’re not passionate about pretty much defeats the entire reason you moved to New York City in the first place. You didn’t just want to go to college, you wanted to get out of Osage and be more. If you don’t pursue your dream, your real dream, then leaving – and all this shit with your dad – was all for nothing.”

  “I’m already in my senior year, Tanner. I would have to stay at least another two semesters if I change my major now.”

  “And?” I lift my brows, “You’re not a traditional girl, Frecks. You’re not the norm. You started school later than most, you have more passion than most, and I know for a fact you would kick ass if you changed your major. Hell, they’d probably be offering you a job at NYU by the time you left.”

  Her eyes soften a little and I see a smile threatening the corners of her mouth. She’s trying to hold fast to all the reasons why she shouldn’t do this, but her resolve is fading. “I don’t know if I could afford another year.”

  “You and I both know that isn’t true,” I say, still challenging. I refuse to give up on this girl. “You’ve worked hard to be in school and if you needed one more year to get the degree you really wanted, you would find a way to make it happen.” Finally, she smiles softly. I pull her in a little closer, “So, any other excuses?”

  She scrunches up her nose, “Are you always this annoying?”

  I laugh, “I like to think of it more as persistent.” She rolls her eyes, but I quickly kiss her and press my forehead to hers. “I know you can do this. Don’t sell yourself short because your dad is too scarred by your mom to realize what an incredible daughter he has.”

  “You’re biased,” she says.

  “Maybe, but I’m also serious,” I press my lips to hers again, taking my time and running my hands along her lower back. She inhales deep and pulls back, breaking the kiss long before I was ready.

  “What time is it?”

  I glance at the clock on the wall in the dining room, “Almost midnight. Why? Are you going to turn into a pumpkin or something?”

  “No, smartass, I have to give you your birthday present.” She jumps up and I instantly crave her as soon as her body leaves mine. “Wait here.”

  Kellee runs upstairs and comes back down with a small navy blue gift bag in her hand. “Close your eyes.”

  “Ohhh, are you always this bossy?” I say, smiling and doing as she says.

  “I like to think of it more as persistent,” she teases. “Open your hand.”

  I reach out my right hand and hear the tissue paper rustling before a small, cool metal object is pressed into my palm.

  “Okay, open.”

  When my eyes focus, I see a small silver guitar pick with something written on it. I take it between my fingers and hold it near the fire so I can see.

  i pick u

  “I figured since you always use your cheesy lines on me, it’s my turn,” she says, shrugging. I look up and meet her eyes with mine, not really sure what to say. Even though it’s just a small, cheesy gift – I feel like it’s so much more. No girl has ever given me a gift with this much thought behind it, and I can’t help but hope the message on it is right.

  I hope she really does pick me.

  “You’re fucking adorable, you know that?” I place the pick on the coffee table next to the gift bag and pull her back into my lap, her thighs straddling mine. “Thank you.”

  “It’s not much.”

  “It’s perfect,” I press my lips to hers, my hands running slowly through her hair. The flames from the fire play on her skin and dance in her eyes, just like the bonfire did last night. I kiss her deeper and she closes her eyes, but then I realize something.

  I pull back, “Open your eyes.”

  She flutters them open and I stare, shaking my head. “I can’t believe I never saw before.”

  “What?” she asks, her hands flying up to her face. “What’s wrong?”

  I laugh and take her hands in mine, pulling them away from her face. “Your eyes, they aren’t gray. They’re blue – an icy, gray-blue.”

  Kellee smiles, her cheeks turning pink in the firelight. “I guess you weren’t looking close enough.”

  “I guess not,” I move in to kiss her again. “Or maybe it was just all that distracting you like to do.”

  “Oh sure,” she laughs against my lips. “Blame me.”

  “Feel like distracting me again?” I ask, sliding my hands down to her hips and pulling her against me, desperate to be close to her again.

  “Tanner!” she whisper-yells. “We can’t just get busy in your parents’ living room. They could come downstairs for a drink of water or something!”

  “Come on,” I tug her bottom lip into my mouth playfully. “Be a little daring. Where’s the fun in life if you don’t take any risks?”

  She pauses for a moment, like she’s drinking in the words I just said, then her smile fades and intensity replaces the playfulness in her eyes. She thrusts her hips forward, waking up every fucking nerve in my body. I groan and my fingers grip the skin just above the hem of her s
weat pants, my lips traveling down her neck. Each time my mouth presses against her skin, a short breath escapes her lips, making me grow harder.

  “Damn, Frecks,” I growl against her neck. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you. You’re like a fucking bad habit I don’t want to quit. The more I get, the more I want.” I lift her tank top over her head and then pull my own shirt off, throwing them both to the floor. My hands play with the hem of her pants as I trail kisses along the lining of her black lace bra. “Do your panties match this bra?”

  She nods, breathless.

  “Show me.”

  Kellee stands slowly, her fingertips shaking slightly as she pulls her sweats down over her thighs. They fall to the ground and I take in the sight of her in the matching black lace thong, the fire crackling softly and mingling with the heavy breaths between us.

  “Jesus,” I stand and pull her against me. “I could just stare at you all fucking night.”

  “I’d rather you do something else to me all fucking night,” she breathes and I groan, my cock aching against the restraint of my own sweatpants. I quickly pull them off and drag Kellee down on the couch, her legs straddling me again. The fabric of my boxers and the sheer lace of her thong are all that separate us.

  “What do you want me to do to you?” I drag my tongue down the swell of her breast and dip it under her bra, just barely brushing her nipple. “Tell me what you want.”

  “I want you inside me, Tanner.” She slowly runs her hands down my chest, over my abs, and thrusts them under my boxers. When she takes me in her hands I grow even more, my dick throbbing. “Now.”

  I groan and reach my hand down between us, adjusting myself through the hole in my boxers and pulling her panties to the side before thrusting into her. Her head shoots back and a loud moan escapes her lips before I press my hand against her mouth. “You have to be quiet, Frecks. I don’t want to be interrupted.”

  She nods, her eyes wide. I leave my hand pressed against her mouth and use my other to lift her hips, our bodies moving together. “I want you to fight it, bite my hand if you have to.”